Authors Note: Just to make it clear. Darren is also Whit, who is also Sarah. This is another flashback chapters. I don't know about you but when I'm reading I hate flashback chapters. I like writing them though. Chapter 13 and 14 were both written around Christmas, and if you're wondering, this scene is almost word for word how I remember proposing to my wife whose name is not Lucy.

Chapter 14 December 25th 2007

Lucy was awake in her bed. Her old alarm clock on the nightstand read 4:29 a.m. She waited for it to click over, which it reliably did at 4:30. She shut it off and rolled out of bed.

The apartment was silent. She lived in a duplex, but the family on the other side had moved out around the same time she’d moved in.

She dragged herself into the bathroom and stared at her reflection. Thirty minutes later she was dressed in her scrubs, sitting on the couch, staring at the small Christmas tree on the floor. Two wrapped presents sat underneath it. One for her. One for Darren.

They’d put the little tree together a few weeks earlier, decorated it, then fought. She wanted him to move in. He wouldn’t, not until they were married. It didn’t matter that they’d been together over a year. His parents didn’t approve, and that was apparently, that.

Lucy was working full time now that she’d dropped out of community college. She couldn’t afford rent and school, and living at home wasn’t an option anymore. Her brother, his girlfriend, and their new baby had taken all the space. Lucy felt like she was in the way in her own home, she had to leave.. But really, it had been falling apart for years.

She checked her watch. Forty-five minutes until she had to leave. She made a bowl of cereal and sat at the small kitchen table, eating without tasting it.

Halfway through, her phone rang.

“Hey. Merry Christmas,” Darren said.

Lucy set her spoon down. “It’d be a lot more merry if I wasn’t alone.”

A pause. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand why you can’t stay here sometimes,” she said.

“We’ve been over this,” he replied. “It’s Christmas. I don’t want to argue.”

Lucy looked at the tree from across the room. “Yeah,” she said. “I’ll be at work until four. I’ll see you tonight.”

“I’ll be there with bells on,” he said.

***

Darren was sitting on the rusted chair on the porch when Lucy pulled into the driveway. It wasn’t like him to be early. He was wearing a new coat, a Christmas present from his Grandma, he explained. He followed her in and she could tell something was off. He was more awkward than normal, he wasn’t making eye contact, he seemed like he was somewhere else.

Lucy had a sudden sinking feeling in her chest, ‘He's about to break up with me,’ she thought. She dropped down into the reclining chair that had come with the apartment. She was exhausted, her back was hurting, she smelt like urine and disinfectant.

Darren dropped down on the couch, hands in his coat pockets which hadn’t taken off yet. Lucy steeled herself, she knew this day would be coming. Darren was bright, intelligent, handsome, his family wasn’t poor. She never really understood why he was with her anyway. But to break up with her on Christmas, that was low.

Darren looked around the room, seemingly focused on anything but her, “Well?” she said.

Daren looked like a deer in headlights, “Um, what?”

“You have something you want to say, spit it out.” Lucy said.

Darren took a deep breath, “Lucy, I’ve been thinking.” he started and paused.

Lucy was growing angry, “Yes, thinking, OK, and.”

Darren pulled a small box from his coat pocket and tossed it across the room. “I guess we can get married,” he said.

Lucy examined the small velvet box in her hand. She realized she wasn’t breathing and exhaled. She snapped it open. The ring was pretty, a silver band with delicate stones, they caught the light but didn’t sparkle like real diamonds would.

Lucy raised her eyes at Whit who was looking increasingly uncomfortable folded up on the couch. This was his proposal?

For a moment she waited for more. A joke. An apology. A second sentence that might soften it. Nothing came.

“Well,” she said finally.

Darren swallowed. “This is what you wanted right?”

Lucy let out a short laugh before she could stop herself. It wasn’t funny, but it came out anyway. “What I want?” She got out the recliner and snapped the box closed. “You just threw an engagement ring at me. Seriously?”

Darren looked down at his lap, “Sorry,” he said.

She opened the box back up and looked down at the ring. This was from Wal-Mart, they had looked at it a month ago, she said she liked it. It was a little over a hundred bucks. She was surprised he remembered. It was fine. More than fine, really. It looked like something she could wear to work and not worry about getting damaged or losing it.

Lucy took a sharp breath, “You don’t sound very excited,” she said.

Darren flinched. “I am. I just don’t… do big theatrical stuff. You know me.”

She did know him. That was the problem.

Lucy walked across the room and sat down on the couch beside him. She handed him the box back, Darren looked surprised. “Did you want to marry me,” she asked, “or did you just want this to stop being a fight?”

Darren opened his mouth, then closed it. He rubbed his palms on his jeans. “I love you,” he said. “I don’t want this to be a fight anymore. I just think… this makes sense.”

There it was. He answered her question. Sense.

Lucy nodded slowly. It made sense to get out of her parents’ house. It made sense to drop out of school to work full time and pay the rent. Sense kept the lights on. Sense was the only thing that ever showed up when things got hard.

She stood and walked to the small kitchen counter.

“I thought you were going to break up with me,” she said, her back to him.

“I wasn’t,” he said quickly. Too quickly.

She turned around. “You’ve been thinking about it.”

He didn’t deny it.

Lucy felt something inside her settle, like a decision clicking into place. Not happiness. Not relief exactly. More like alignment. Things lining up the way they always did when she stopped hoping for more.

“Bring that ring over here, let's see if it even fits.”

Darren got off the couch and walked over. He held out the box and she held her hand out, not smiling. Darren looked at it, then at her face. He slid the ring on her finger, a perfect fit.

“So,” she said. “We’re engaged.”

Darren let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it for weeks. He kissed her on the cheek..

“Thank you,” he said, like she’d done him a favor.

Lucy nodded once. They had done each other a favor.

“I love you,” she said.

And that was that.