Chapter 28 December 25th 2025

There were times in Whit’s life when he saw himself in a photo, or a video, or in the mirror, and for a brief moment he saw her instead of him. Eventually he gave her a name, Sarah. Over time he realized that Sarah could be a great person, far less reserved than Whit. Sarah didn’t define her life by what she avoided. Whit imagined Sarah living a rich life full of new friends and experiences.

All Sarah ever needed was a chance…

Sarah woke up, and she knew nothing would be the same again. She walked to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hairless body seemed a tiny bit softer than it did a couple months ago, her nipples a bit darker, and maybe the beginnings of female breasts starting to show.

This was really happening.

Lucy zombie walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. Sarah sat at the kitchen table with a cup. “Did last night really happen?”

“Yeah, how’s your head?” Sarah asked.

Lucy frowned, “I feel like I’ve been dragged behind a truck, but its less than I deserve. I’m so sorry.”

Sarah didn’t answer, she took a bite of her waffle, then a sip of coffee. Lucy hung there for an awkward moment. Finally she sat the mug down, “Are you going to say anything?”

Sarah sat her fork down, “We’ve done this before.”

Lucy frowned.

“I can’t do it again,” Sarah said.

Lucy turned her back and looked out the kitchen window, “All I can do is say I’m sorry.”

Sarah sat her hands on the table and took a deep breath, “I will always love you, but I can’t stay with you if you destroy yourself.”

Lucy turned and glared, “Who’s the one destroying themselves Darren? Don’t you see it? You’re throwing your life away. This isn’t fair. I married a man, Darren, Whit, Priscilla, whatever the fuck you want to be called. A man!”

Sarah stood up from the table and sighed, “I told you my name.” She started to walk away then turned. She spoke quickly, “I’m sorry. I should have told you. I couldn’t even tell myself, how could I tell you?”

Lucy wiped her face. “OK, so now what? You’re moving to California, or wherever. What am I supposed to do?”

Sarah sat back down, “I never said anything about leaving.”

Lucy looked up, “You’re not leaving me?”

Sarah smiled and quickly responded with her own question, “You’re not leaving me?”

“No.”

The smile left Sarah’s face. “You are the most important person in my world, and you will always be a part of it, but I can’t go on lying to you and everyone. If that’s not something you can live with then?”

Lucy folded her arms.

“OK, it’s Christmas tomorrow,” she said. “Are you going to sit my Mom and Dad down and tell them you’re Sarah now. Tell them to return that flannel shirt and get you a nightgown?”

Sarah took a deep breath, “No, not tomorrow, but one day.”

***

Sarah opened the front door for her father-in-law, Donnie. He was carrying a dish, “Hey Whit, Merry Christmas,” he said with a grin.

Sarah had been addressed as Whit thousands of times in her life. She liked it way better than Darren, but this was the first time it felt wrong.

“Hey Donnie, Merry Christmas,” Sarah replied.

She had decided to keep things simple, her barrel legged feminine jeans, and the red sweater. Technically girls' clothes, but they wouldn’t raise suspicion. Her most daring wardrobe choice was a headband that was unmistakably feminine. Donnie seemed to study her for a second before taking off his Camouflage jacket.

“Hey Whit,” Carla said as she walked through the open front door. “Can you help us bring stuff in.”

“No problem,” Sarah said and headed out in the cold air.

Donnie could see Lucy and Grace in the kitchen over the stove and a boiling pan. He looked behind him to make sure Whit was gone then leaned in close to Carla and nodded his head towards the kitchen.

“That’s the… girlboy?” Donnie asked with half a frown.

“Shhh, her name is Grace, she’s nice,” Carla said.

“Hey Mom, Dad, have a seat, we’ll be out soon,” Lucy yelled from the kitchen.

Donnie and Carla sat down on the couch. Christmas music was playing through the TV and the decorations were immaculately placed on the mantel. Lucy had spent the rest of yesterday making her house spotless.

After getting off her shift, Grace jumped in and volunteered to help with Christmas dinner. Sarah took her aside and told her formally her pronouns and name, and that it was going to be very hard for Lucy. Grace was doing everything she could to help out. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you,” Grace told Lucy while they took a break.

At first Lucy said she was fine, but it wasn’t long before she was laying out her fears and insecurities while Grace nodded. She knew there were no answers but it felt good to get it off her chest while they cooked.

Donnie smiled, “I think they are rubbing off on Whit. What's up with that headband?”

“Shutup,” Carla said.

Sarah came in weighed down with a tote full of heavy boxes and sat them under the tree. She grunted as she stood back up. Women don’t grunt, Sarah thought. But if I really was a woman I wouldn’t be sent out to carry stuff in the house.

“Whit there are some dishes in the back seat you can get,” Carla said.

“Sure thing,” Sarah replied.

Carla went into the kitchen and took Lucy aside, “Are you OK honey?”

“Yeah Mom,” Lucy said. I’m fine now. Sorry.”

Carla only knew what her daughter had told her. She relapsed. She went off on her own and drank, then ended up in the emergency room. She left her car on private property and it got impounded. Carla could relate.

So far this was going exactly like Christmas had for the last 5 years. Carla and Donnie came over for a Christmas morning meal, then left in the afternoon to go to Lucy’s brother’s house and see all the kid’s new toys. Carla would try to get Lucy to go with her, and Lucy would decline. They would take a few photos together and then they were alone again.

Lucy, Grace and Carla stayed in the kitchen getting the food ready while Donnie and Sarah sat on the couch trying to have small talk.

“So… you got a deer this year?” Sarah asked.

“Yeap, not bad, good size, decent, kinda small, it’s allright.” Donnie mumbled back. He’d changed the TV and it was playing “A Christmas Story.”

“Hows the post office going?” Donnie asked.

Sarah frowned, “Fine, busy, not too bad, lots of packages,” she replied.

“Huh,” Donnie said and closed his eyes.

Sarah got up and started helping the women with the food. Carla was examining Grace’s finger nails.

“Oh my gosh, that’s adorable,” Carla said looking at the little green Christmas trees painted on Grace’s nails.

Sarah watched as Grace held her hand out, palm down, in the most girly way possible.

“Thanks, it’s just appliques,” Grace said. My Dad invited me over for Christmas, so I thought I should try to look holly and jolly.”

Sarah felt a stab of jealousy. Grace, Lucy and Carla were all decked out for Christmas; ear rings, festive outfits, painted nails, and christmas tights.

Sarah felt just as out of place here as she did on the couch with Donnie.

“Whit, could you get the rolls out,” Lucy asked without looking at her.

“Yeah, sure,” Sarah said.

She moved past them carefully, and pulled the oven open. Heat rushed out hitting her face. She reached in with a towel.

Carla glanced over, “Whit, use pot holders, and use both hands.”

“Be careful Whit, those are hot,” Lucy added.

Sarah looked back at the women in annoyance, “I’ve got it,” she said.

Grace glanced at her, then was distracted when Carla asked where she got her cute Mary Janes.

They set the dining room table that was almost never used and filled it with dishes. Sick of feeling awkward Sarah returned from the kitchen with the pitcher of tea and lemonade she had made earlier.

“Welcome to Bistro a ‘la Lucy, I’ll be your waitress today, tea or lemonade,” she asked Carla in a funny fem voice.

Carla stared at her before finally saying, “tea,” in a deadpan voice.

Sarah giggled and continued the act, Lucy rolled her eyes, but Grace played right along, “Good afternoon Ma’am, how is the lobster bisque this evening?”

“I’ll have to ask the chef,” Sarah said then quickly turned to Lucy, “Hey chef, do we have any lobster?” she asked in an annoyed voice.

The table giggled, “Tell her she gets ham and mashed potatoes,” Lucy replied.

Everyone turned their attention to the incredible meal that Lucy and Grace prepared. Afterwards Carla talked about how all the grandkids had called to tell her what they got for Christmas. Lucy smiled politely, and mentioned she’d prepared each of her nieces and nephews a little Christmas gift. Then Carla tried to talk her into coming over with them and Lucy politely declined.

Sarah finished her last bite then announced, “That’s going to go straight to my hips.” There were some awkward laughs, but Lucy frowned.

They gathered around the tree for gift exchanges. As usual Lucy received the most gifts. Carla felt bad that Lucy had no kids to buy for, so she bought her daughter extra.

Grace was genuinely touched when she received gifts from Carla, Lucy, and Sarah.

Sarah looked down at her single box, from Carla and Donnie. She opened it to find a polo shirt, an “Old Spice” deodorant and body wash set, and an Amazon gift card.

“Sorry Whit, we never know what to get for you,” Carla said.

“Oh, no I really like it, and who doesn’t like an Amazon gift card. Grace couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Eventually she came over and casually pulled Sarah away from the gathering. She followed her back to her room and she shut the door.

“How are you holding up?” she asked.

Sarah glanced away, “I’m fine,” she said.

Grace snapped a finger in her face, “No really, how are you feeling,”

Sarah looked straight at her, “This sucks and I want to cry,” she said.

Grace hugged her. “I know. It feels like living in black and white.”

She reached behind her bed and handed Sarah a gift bag, “I got you something, but didn’t think you’d want to open it in front of everyone in there.”

“Oh Grace, you shouldn’t have,” Sarah said.

“Just open it.”

Sarah felt butterflies when saw the tag on the box read, “To Sarah.” She pulled out a box of nail polishes, a gift set with 4 vibrant colors.

“Oh my God Grace,” Sarah said

“Those are OPI, that’s not cheap,” Grace laughed.

Sarah frowned, “I don’t think…”

“I know,” Grace said. “You don’t have to now, but one day you may want to.”

Sarah felt her eyes water and she hugged Grace again, “Thank you,” she said quietly.

Sarah pitched in with the other girls to clean up and do dishes, feeling more like she belonged. Donnie sat on the couch scrolling his phone.

Once the food was stashed in containers, the dishes dried and put away, and the wrapping paper bagged up, like usual they used the self timer on Sarah’s camera for a group picture. Carla and Donnie left a bit later, then Grace left to go to her Dad’s.

They were alone.

Lucy collapsed by Sarah on the couch, “I’m so tired,” she said.

Sarah smiled and left the room, and came back with a little gift box. “I know we missed our usual gift exchange, but I got this for you.”

A smile crept across Lucy’s face. She opened the box and saw the most beautiful set of crystal heart ear rings.

“Oh my God, these are gorgeous,” Lucy gushed.

Sarah smiled, “They are real Swarovski crystals.” She mispronounced the name on purpose. A call back to a decade old Saturday Night Live skit.

Lucy giggled, “Did somebody mention style?” she asked.

Lucy went over to the Christmas tree and returned with a gift bag that she’d stashed. “I got you this, if you don’t want it you can return it,” she said.

Sarah ignored that the tag read, ‘Darren.’ She smiled and opened the bag, and lifted out a deep red sweater dress, “Oh Lucy, it’s so perfect,” she said.

Lucy smiled and Sarah pulled out a small box that was hidden below it. “A vintage game console. Wow, this is so cool.”

They sat down across from each other on the couch, there was a moment of awkward silence that stretched.

Finally Lucy said, “I can’t call you Sarah, you can’t expect that from me.”

Sarah ran her hand along the soft fabric of her new dress. “That’s my name,” she said quietly.

Lucy didn’t respond and the awkward silence continued.

Lucy got off the couch, she grabbed the game console box and turned it over in her hands.

“OK bitch, you beat me in Tetris and I’ll call you whatever you want.”

Sarah grinned ear to ear, “It's on.”