When I awoke, Victoria was there in the place of the doll. Remember when I said her story was for another time? I guess it’s “another time” now.

Victoria came along a bit later than Nancy, but not too much later. I had definitely been Victoria before my 6th birthday. I had my first real birthday party in real life when I was 6, with a guest list made of most of my kindergarten classmates, along with a few other neighborhood kids who weren’t too different in age. Naturally, Pansy didn’t attend. The following night’s dream featured Victoria’s birthday party with most of the same kids, plus Nancy. I know that wasn’t the first time I dreamed of being Victoria, but it’s the earliest one I distinctly remember. Hearing all my classmates sing “happy birthday, Victoria” was very memorable.

My best understanding of Victoria is that she’s the me that would have existed if I had been born a girl. When we were 6, if you could have put the two of us together, the only way you could tell us apart was by our clothes. Put Victoria in a boy’s T-shirt and shorts, and we’d look like identical twins. I knew, though. I knew when I was Victoria, without needing to check myself, and in fact I never did. It’s pretty ironic; I had hundreds of opportunities as Victoria to see what a girl’s private parts felt like, to touch them even, and I never did until that time Nancy and Jody played “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” The dreams before that one were not sexual in the least. They were just short snippets, individual scenes. Sometimes I was female in those scenes, and I knew it, and my friends in those scenes knew I was Victoria as well.

In fact, Nancy was actually the one who suggested we play that peeking game, and it changed the dreams ever after. They became longer and more complex, in addition to unlocking the possibility that they would be sexual. But just the possibility; for years they rarely involved any sort of actual sex or masturbation, or nudity beyond what I saw while showering. The long dreams soon spanned, as far as I could tell, an entire night’s sleep, and just that; after sixth grade I never needed an alarm clock because I’d always dream exactly until whenever I wanted to wake up. In some of my adventures, such a dream could span weeks of dream-time, but in the more down-to-earth type of dream, the time that passed within the dream was an entire day’s wakeful time.

When I was Victoria, those one-day dreams started out with me stripping out of a nightgown and showering. But then I’d get Victoria dressed and there was no more nudity after that in those dreams. Still, it was enough for me to notice her body as it developed. Jody and Victoria quickly ceased to look like twins, but still like brother and sister. These days, Victoria is five-six, 140 pounds, with the same coloration as me including the black-except-in-the-right-light hair, but curvy.

The first year after Nancy and I peeked at each other’s bodies, there were only a few more encounters in any way sexual in my dreams, all between Jody and Nancy. After that, Jody got into it with other characters. After I started high school, Victoria had sex too, but not in the way you’d think. Victoria was either having some form of sex with another woman, or with one of the characters who frequented my dreams who was not exactly human. In fact, though I’m familiar with the feeling of having something penislike in Victoria’s vagina, I can’t remember a time before last night when Victoria fucked a guy, that is, a regular male human being. Not that she would have had any trouble getting one if she wanted.

The continued appearances of Victoria in my dreams made me wonder about myself. It prompted a phase of self-reflection and experimentation. What does it mean that I dream of being a woman who has sex with other women and alien beings? At first, I didn’t know what to think, but it led me to learning in the real world the meanings of all the terms encompassed by LGBTQ. So did these dreams mean I was trans? And specifically a trans lesbian?

While this made me think about it, my explorations showed me I didn’t feel any desire to be a woman in the real world. It wasn’t that I was afraid of the hormones and surgery and all the other issues with transitioning to become a woman in real life. It was simply that I didn’t feel like I needed to be a woman in real life. I was comfortable as my male self. When I experimented by dressing my real-life body in women’s clothing, it felt wrong, even though I had no compunctions about dressing Victoria in similar clothing in the dreams. It was right for her. Nor did I feel wrong just being Victoria; that was just as right to me as when I was Jody. I could accept being either male or female, but trying to force one upon the other, nope, not gonna do it.

So I decided I wasn’t trans. I had learned a bunch of other terms as well, but I didn’t find one that fit me. At one point I thought genderfluid might apply, sometimes feeling male and sometimes feeling female, right? But when I looked into what that meant, I realized that wasn’t right either. Genderfluid is more like trans some of the time, in the sense where trans means you feel like you’re in the wrong body. I never feel like I am in the wrong body. I just feel comfortable in whichever body I am in at the time. It’s just the opposite of genderfluid; my mind always matches my body. I think there isn’t a word for that because people in the world don’t have bodies that change like that; it was only in my dreams. Whatever this was I gave up on figuring out, because I was enjoying just being normal. By junior year of high school I had completely abandoned the idea of being bi-trans, or genderfluid but the other way around, or whatever this is.

So in the real world, I was straight cis-male Jody. I had begun dating girls like any of the other straight guys were doing. But I felt like I knew girls better because of the Victoria dreams. I knew what it felt like to be a woman because I’d lived hundreds of hours as Victoria in dreams that felt as real as my life outside the dreams, save for the fact that I was in a different body. Even though Victoria didn’t date guys, I understood better how to treat a woman due to having been one in many very realistic dreams.

But it was only a portion of the dreams that were so realistic. Sometimes I was in exotic places. Sometimes I was in exotic bodies, non-human ones. But even when I was in one of the non-human bodies, if I was in a female one, I was Victoria, with all her knowledge and history, as if she’d just jumped in the make-me-a-Sea-Woman booth that day. But Sea Women are a story for another day. Today is about Victoria.

I started Monday, July 3 waking up lying on top of Victoria. When I got up off her, the feeling was so strange I almost fell out of the bed. In addition to the sensations I expected to feel in my penis and my body, I could also feel the penis pulling out of my vagina. Her vagina, but I felt it as a part of me. Somehow I was feeling from both my body, that is, Jody’s body, and from Victoria’s body at the same time. That was weird, on top of the fact that Victoria was here, outside the dream.

When I got up and walked across the room, Victoria remained in bed, motionless. I looked back at her and reasoned that, if I felt sensations coming from Victoria’s body, then maybe I was Victoria, too, and she was lying there because I had to move her body. Thinking about the feelings I had felt that came from her body, I tried to focus on being Victoria. I found her vision, and my real body stumbled as I tried to reconcile the two different points of view. But I got it together surprisingly quickly, and the two images combined into an almost complete view of the room with two points of focus. If you’ve never seen with two pairs of eyes pointing in different directions at the same time, you wouldn’t understand this, but imagine being able to see behind yourself at the same time you’re looking forward.

Victoria’s focus was up on the ceiling because she was lying on her back in bed. I tried to move her head to look at me, and I succeeded in moving it a little but the change in the combined vision made me dizzy and my real body almost fell over. So I stopped, stabilized myself, and then tried something less intense, moving one of Victoria’s arms.

That was better. Her arm was initially out of my view entirely, but as I raised it, it came into my real body’s view and then into Victoria’s view as well. I was able to rotate the hand and move the fingers and see that they moved like I expected them to. I put the arm down, and that was a shock as well, because it fell across Victoria’s breasts. The nipples are very sensitive, and I’d basically banged the whole arm into both of them at once. I moved the arm down so it rested on Victoria’s stomach instead.

Feeling a bit better prepared, now I turned Victoria’s head and managed to get it looking at my real body, so we were making eye contact. My combined view now encompassed everything in the room save for what was immediately behind each of my bodies.

Over the next 15 minutes or so, I gradually worked on more motions with Victoria’s body and got her to a position sitting on the edge of the bed. The next big step was standing. I was a bit unsteady at first, but by this point I was no longer having trouble keeping my real body balanced while doing these movements with Victoria. The balance in Victoria’s body was different, yet in a way that was familiar, because of all the times I’d been Victoria in dreams. I was quite familiar with the feeling of walking or running with Victoria’s breasts. Her balance was top-heavy compared to Jody’s.

Step by step, I slowly started walking Victoria toward me, and a couple minutes later she had crossed the six feet or so there was between us. I hugged Victoria and kissed her, which created more interesting sensations. I’d never been grabbed and kissed the way Victoria just was; when I was Victoria in romantic dreams, she always took the active role. If I’d been trans and straight, and had wanted to date a guy, then Victoria’s body would probably have been very excited by what she was now feeling. But I wasn’t, and instead, however much my real body enjoyed it, the only nice feeling I sensed from Victoria was that both of me were together.

Both of me needed the bathroom. I could feel that urge, twice. The two of us held hands as I walked us together for the first time, though it was only for a few steps. When I got there, I decided to get Victoria onto the toilet first. Then, the awkwardness was not in moving her body but in the tight space. At least there was always something to hold on to.

Despite all the time I’d been Victoria in dreams and all the things I’d done in those dreams, I’d never actually used the toilet as a woman before, because of one of those rules of dreams. I only feel like I need to use the bathroom in a dream when I need to use the bathroom in real life. I’d even gotten as far as getting Victoria sitting on a toilet once or twice before I woke up and took care of my business in real life. It’s very common for my dreams to end that way, and yet, they never ended early. Once I started having the all-night dreams, this would only happen when I wanted to get up anyway.

So I didn’t actually know how to pee as a girl, but when I tried to do with her body what I do to release the pee from my male body, it worked and the flow started. When Victoria could pee no more, I knew I needed to wipe her up. I knew what girls were supposed to do, even though I’d never done it; Victoria had learned all those things somehow, even if I didn’t experience when she learned them. I had learned them by “remembering” them during times I was Victoria.

I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped, but as I did I realized there was more than pee down there. It looked like I had come inside Victoria last night. “Shit,” I swore. I was going to have to start using condoms with the Fleshlight if I was going to keep making the doll into various women. Though if she went away at the end of the day like Nancy had, maybe it wouldn’t matter.

Using Jody’s body, I wetted a little of the toilet paper at the sink to help Victoria clean up. Once Victoria was clean, I took my turn, but I just stood to pee, with Victoria standing behind me, hanging on to my sides. I didn’t think there was any hope of me getting out of here on time if I tried to shower Victoria, but I left her sitting on the toilet again while I showered quickly.

Actually peeing from my real body, from both bodies, even, made me more certain this was real. I was really Victoria in real life, in addition to being Jody. Most guys’ reaction upon waking up in my situation would probably be “Woo-hoo! I can fuck her any time I want!” or “Oh, shit! I don’t know anything about being a woman.” But for me, it just seemed like the next stage in my development. While I did hope to have some sex in ways that both of my bodies enjoyed, I wasn’t worried about actually being Victoria, and my main thought during the shower was “Why did this have to happen right now, when I’m trying to get ready for work?”

After drying off, I got both of me back into the bedroom. Now I was in charge of getting Victoria dressed. Fortunately, this was an area where the dreams had provided actual experience. After I started having longer dreams, one common type of dream started out with me as Victoria, naked or in her pajamas, and I had to get dressed for school or work. Such dreams then went on with the rest of Victoria’s day.

This was pretty ironic. Saturday Nancy just had to wear whatever of my clothes, and I went out and bought clothes for her. Apart from what Nancy put on in the store, the first time any of them are going to be used, I was going to have to pick out and put on clothes myself. Even more fortunately, I discovered that Nancy’s clothes fit Victoria. Even her bra fit; I saw the tag on the one I picked out said 36D. Was Nancy really that big, a D cup? I knew it was right for Victoria, and indeed, it fit Victoria well, but I thought Nancy was smaller. Other than that, Nancy and Victoria were close to the same size, so I shrugged off the weirdness there. I had Victoria wear a new pair of Nancy’s panties and a short-sleeve pullover blouse and shorts. I put on my typical work clothes.

Next we made our way to the combined kitchen and dining room, which were at the other end of the small house. We passed through the entry area opposite the bathroom and then through what passed for a living room to our destination, and I carefully eased Victoria’s body into a chair at the table. I grabbed the cereal and milk and prepared it for both of us.

Using Victoria’s arm to feed her was easy enough, but I took turns feeding myself a spoonful and feeding Victoria one. I wasn’t sure I was yet up to doing that for both of us at the same time, but one could chew while I fed the other.

I checked my phone for messages. None, which meant I still had to head out to well 10 per previous plans. I needed to leave at 7:15 to get there by 8. It was now almost 7. What was I going to do with Victoria? I couldn’t take her with me. I’d be out there all day. All the other wives and girlfriends stayed in camp, or drove to town on their own or whatever. I decided to just lay her down in bed. That was the easiest way for me to make sure she didn’t fall or anything. I packed my lunch and got ready to go like I would any other day, ignoring Victoria.

I made it out to where I was supposed to be, and got on with my work. By the time the site lead called for coffee break a little after 10, and those of us working at the site lined up at the coffee pot, I realized I needed to tend to Victoria. She needed to pee, and was also thirsty. I managed to get her to the toilet before it was my turn to fill my coffee cup. Once I was sitting and drinking, I cleaned up Victoria, flushed, dressed, and got her to the kitchen to get some water.

At my lunch break, Victoria needed lunch too, and I was able to make her a sandwich. Afternoon coffee break was much like the morning one, but Victoria also needed to poop. This was another thing I’d never done in my dreams, but the muscle movement was the same. When I went to clean her up, I realized Victoria had been taught at some point, though I had no idea when, that women had to wipe from front to back to avoid getting poop in the vagina. Yuck! It made sense, though; I had gotten poop on my balls before, and while that was annoying to clean off, letting it get back inside the wrong hole was a whole other level of gross. Fortunately, the lack of male equipment made it easy to wipe that way.

Having Victoria here was certainly something I hadn’t planned for. If I’d thought things through, I would have realized that she would need the kind of care I was giving her during my work breaks, but I was rushing to get to work. Victoria was as real today as Nancy had been Saturday, and had the needs of a real person. Fortunately, when Nancy was here, I’d bought extra food, thinking I was going to have her here all the time.

I tended to Victoria once more just before leaving the well site, and laid her back in bed for my drive home. I arrived in the camp’s parking lot just before 5. Before I made it into my house, Pedro drove up beside me. Pedro was the housing manager at the camp. I don’t think he’d ever seen the doll, but since I’d never invited anyone in with it out where it was visible, he was the only person who might ever have seen the doll that had become Victoria today. But that wasn’t quite what he asked about.

“Hey, did I see your woman moving around in your house today?”

Stunned, after a moment I answered, “Yeah, probably.”

“Steve told me he saw you come home with her Saturday.”

“Is there a problem with it?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to move up to one of the double-wides.”

“Oh,” I responded, realizing this was actually a good thing. “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”

They only offered the double-wide houses to couples. They only had so many of them. Some couples were straight couples, some were gay couples, but there were always two people. But the fact that at least two other men had seen Nancy and Victoria as a separate person from me was evidence that this was all real and not my hyperactive imagination or a hallucination. I hoped it wasn’t just an unusually long and detailed dream.

I went inside and called “Hey, Hon,” to Victoria, so that she would look independent from me, before bringing her to the door.

“They’re offering us a bigger house,” I said in her direction.

I had never before spoken as Victoria, not in real life. But I summoned her voice and said, “Oh, that’s nice.” She didn’t sound very excited, but I figured this was the minimal amount of interaction that would seem reasonable for a couple.

Pedro said to Victoria, “You want to come look at it?”

“No, I trust Jody.”

I didn’t want Victoria to look at it just because I didn’t want Pedro to see how unsteady I was trying to do things with both bodies at the same time. I was good with her body now when I wasn’t moving mine, though. I had Victoria go back inside and close the door. Pedro led me over to one of the double-wide mobile homes that was available. It was actually only 20 feet wide versus 12 for the one I had, but the name meant it was moved here in two pieces that had to be assembled on site. Not that we were moving them. Most of the time they left the same houses here and just rented them to the people who needed to work here, but it was possible to move them in and out when they needed more people working here, or in another part of the state. There were at least twenty extra utility hookups here that had never had houses. The remains of traffic cones that had been scratched and slit open by ice over multiple winters marked their locations.

The new house looked good. The bed was actually big enough for the two of us to lie on. The house looked clean and I didn’t see any problems with it, so I went with Pedro and signed new rental papers. The house was going to cost 50% more, the water/sewer service a third more, and the electricity was billed by usage rather than a flat rate, but would no doubt increase. He gave me a stack of moving boxes, and told me I could leave them by his office when we were done. Also, he provided a set of cheap sheets that fit the larger bed; they were standard “double” bed sheets, so I would be able to buy more at the store instead of the custom cut-down twin sheets the tiny bed in the other house needed. Why do we have such stupid names for bed sizes anyway? Two names that mean “two”, and they are both for smaller beds than the two names that mean one person.

I took the boxes back over to my old house. I tried to practice using both bodies at the same time, and I managed to have Victoria stand at a box helping to arrange things in it while Jody gathered stuff and brought it over to her. She also held open the door to let me carry boxes out to the truck. In an hour I had all our stuff moved over to the new house. This one was made for two people, so there was no shortage of storage space for clothes. Victoria, or Nancy, or whoever my companion was, had room for a whole wardrobe instead of just what I’d bought Saturday. Well, she did if that wardrobe was the size of mine, or only a little bigger. Women had more clothes, but would my women, perhaps present intermittently, need a larger wardrobe here, where there was nothing to do? Probably not more than the space available here, anyway.

I made dinner for the two of us a little later than we expected, but we enjoyed it. After dinner, I worked on putting away the things I’d brought over. To get more practice using Victoria’s body, I gave her the sheets, and then, using her body, I put them on the bed. I also put most of the things away using her body.

So now it was time for the big question. I had never had the opportunity to have sex with Victoria because we were always in separate dreams, so this was my first opportunity. I knew my body would enjoy sex with Victoria. But would Victoria’s body enjoy it? I wasn’t going to be that “woo-hoo” guy from my thoughts during this morning’s shower. If we were going to have sex, I was going to try to make sure both of my bodies enjoyed it.

Victoria had had various kinds of sex in dreams, including vaginal penetration in certain ways, but I could not remember a time, besides last night, when it was with a perfectly normal male human. I wasn’t even sure Victoria liked guys. Victoria had had lesbian sex with Nancy and other women, and whatever kind of sex was possible with many of the non-human characters. But I did know that she had been penetrated by some kind of organ, anyway, and enjoyed it as a sexual experience, in a way that my male body could not.

I put a brave face on Victoria and resolved to try it. About 8:00 we stripped, trying to be sexy about it like a striptease. My dick was hard as a rock at the end of this, but Victoria wasn’t dripping wet. In fact, it seemed like her body wasn’t excited at all. I went inside her mind and sought out wherever it was that held her feelings about this.

This was a surreal experience. I was navigating around inside her mind like it was a maze, and I was just as lost as if I was in an actual maze. But I learned a lot. I learned where in this maze things were organized. I had found some of these previously on instinct, such as her centers of sight, balance, and motor skills. I used those as landmarks as I encountered various sorts of memories, and her feelings. Emotions. Her sense of anger, which was absent. Her sense of friendship, which was strong. Her sense of boredom, which was active just a tiny bit. Her sense of envy, I think, which was active a little. She envied the way I had control of all of these in my own mind but was fumbling trying to find them in hers. By chance I stumbled across her sense of smell, which might be useful in what was coming.

Finally, I found her sense of love, which was strong, and her sense of lust, which was weak. But at least I would know if I was getting her interested. I had her put the condom on me, and that didn’t do anything for her, either.

What did help was the hands-on foreplay, especially clitoral stimulation. I got Victoria’s juices flowing, and felt the sexual stimulation rising in her mind. With her in that state, I put it in her. And it did feel good in the end. Both Jody and Victoria enjoyed the sex, but something about the experience just failed to satisfy Victoria. If I had to rate it, the experience was a 9 out of 10 for me, mainly because I couldn’t help Victoria enjoy it as much, and a 5 out of 10 for Victoria. After I came once, and I had gotten Victoria to her female orgasm three times, I got the impression that Victoria wasn’t interested in continuing. So I stopped, cleaned both of us up, and just went to sleep, the two of us actually able to lie without being pressed against each other on the larger bed.

I dreamed about Nancy again, but I woke up beside the doll on Tuesday, July 4. I had the day off for the holiday, and I spent most of it thinking about what had happened in recent days. I ate my meals alone, like happened pretty much every day before the last few.

While it was Independence Day, it wasn’t like we were in a city that would have a professional fireworks show. Also, this time of year it doesn’t get fully dark here until midnight because of how close we are to the Arctic Circle. Somebody did set off some fireworks, but it wasn’t all that exciting.

When I was getting ready for bed, I debated whether to fuck the doll tonight. I had had sex with either the doll or a girl it turned into several nights in a row now, and I didn’t feel like I was so addicted to sex to need it every night, despite how little there was to do here. But it seemed like fucking the doll was how I was making it happen, and I wanted to test fucking the doll with a condom, so I did that tonight.