CHAPTER 20
We spent the next day walking, and I mean the day, because we weren’t back at our hotel till six in the evening. Lunch was taken in a coffee place with outdoor tables, where my memory sniggered yet again over Albany, but all of us were in sensible walking shoes rather than stiletto courts. Jacky did the steering, at least after she had found a suitable guide book, or at least more suitable than the Good Beer Guide.

It was the souvenir hunting that used a lot of the time, for my Canadian friend had her heart set of a T-shirt for Jerome. We didn’t just get the usual slow process of finding a suitable design, but also of finding one that was actually big enough to fit. Apparently, his size was something like ‘XXXXXXHumungous’, which set Jacky musing about her sister.

“Yeah, Clarice has real issues with bras. Band size, ey? And big chest but not a big, well, chest, so cup size is usually too big. Anyhoo, difficult to find both on the same garment”

She paused, then grinned.

“When we were littles, don’t think I’d ever have imagined discussing my bro’s bra size”

Mary just raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Try taking your husband for a fitting”

“Yeah. Point taken. Anyhoo, got a reply from Jay. Asked how I’d remembered the Montreal thing, so I just said, ‘because it was funny’ and left it there. Great idea, by the way, sMary, ending that mail”

My wife shrugged.

“It was your idea, Jacky. I just stole it”

“What?”

“Let’s have a seat on of those benches. We won’t need lager”

We settled onto a vacant one, just outside Bath Abbey, and Mary started to explain.

“It’s not a biggie, love, but it did come from you. Ellie and me, we’ve done a lot of talking since she came home. It’s, well, easy is not the right word for it, but what we agreed on was that we took our vows for a reason, and we both meant them. For better or worse…”

Jacky cocked her head.

“Too early to say which, Mary?”

“I don’t know if either of those words is right. ‘Different’ works, I think, at least for now. Anyway, we are talking, and that was something we had stopped doing, and that was most bloody definitely for the worse. You changed that, Jacky. That idea for a simple text”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. I got that text, and it made me think. I was closing down, shutting doors, burning bridges, all that stuff. And yes, Ellie did show me the text from you, AND her reply, so I know she was on about locked doors. Just left me with a problem for this Christmas coming”

“What’s that?”

“I know we’re both going to be texting ‘MCAAHNY’ now!”

That brought a laugh from Jacky, and I saw yet again my wife’s talents at play. Dealing with stroppy teens was far from an easy job, and she was bloody good at it.

“Mary?”

“Yes, Ellie?”

“I know we’re excused lager here, but do we still have to take our shirts off?”

“You, my darling, are wearing a dress, not a shirt”

“Details, details”

My silliness did the desired job of keeping the levity flowing, and we went for a wander around the inside of the Abbey as happy tourists.

Jacky insisted we walk back to the weir that evening to get some ‘night’ shots of it, and then we simply walked back to the pub for our dinner, on the basis that it wasn’t just a known quantity thingy but also a pleasant one.

Both Jacky and I fell asleep on the way home the next day, which really wasn’t fair on my wife, so I made up for it by sorting that evening’s meal. It was a Chinese takeaway, and it was delivered, but the thought was there.

I was back at work the following day, of course, but Mary was in her ‘big holiday’ time, so the two of them went into London to spend the day at the Victoria and Albert, where there was a ‘street fashion’ event. It was still warm, so I took a V-neck top to work rather than a roll-neck or similar, and that was the day I saw Rishi staring at my cleavage, almost in shock.

Another hurdle for each of us to cross: mine in getting another taste of the inability of some men to look a woman in the face, his in realising, possibly for the first time, that the only padding in my bra was me, myself. Lynn collared me in the ladies’, giggling.

“What the hell have you done to Rishi? He’s stammering!”

“Absolutely nothing, but he was staring at my chest”

“Ah. That definitely explains it, then”

She settled herself against one of the sinks.

“Man in a dress, yeah? He was probably assuming you’re still, well, still shaped the same way. I imagine that’s been his comfort zone, lifebelt thing. That top, well, no room for doubt there”

“He should lift his sightline, then”

“And you are in danger of becoming a tease, woman. How’s the house guest, by the way?”

“Jacky? Fine. She’s off to the V and A with Mary today. We did Bath at the weekend”

“You’ll end up as thin as you were when you got back from Oz”

“I doubt it; Jacky likes cake stops, and we’re doing Brugge in a couple of weeks”

“Ooh! Chocolate!”

“And beer. Don’t forget the beer”

“I only forget AFTER beer, Ellie”

“Reminds me: I’m taking a half-day on Friday, going into London. Bit of personal admin”

“Personal admin? Oh! Passport?”

“Exactly. Got an express service appointment booked for three o’clock”

“Silly question, love, but what the hell did you do when you went to Australia?”

“Grab a coffee and talk you through it?”

“Sounds good. I’ll do my diary for Friday, and you can make the drinks”

Fair exchange is no robbery; I did the job with the kettle and mugs, and then settled myself in the ‘guest chair by her little enclave.

“So tell, woman”

“Well, same as I had been doing here, really, with a chest binder. Got me to Perth with no issues, but it was bloody uncomfortable in the end. Thing is, I now wonder what the airport people thought, because the hotel girl in Perth read me in nothing flat. Didn’t bother on the way back. Got some funny looks in Parth at check-in, though”

“What about here?”

“Electronic gate thing wouldn’t let me through; lost too much weight compared to the photo. The Brit Immigration woman just asked me what I’d prefer to be called”

“They’ve finally learned some bloody manners, then”

“Don’t think it was that, so much. She told me to get a letter from my GP, so I tried to explain how I had to change mine cause he’d just refused, and she just said, ‘change your GP, then’. I mean, I had, a month before I flew, but I didn’t have the courage to do the next bit. Still worried how Mary would take it”

“But not worried about how she’d take you walking off into a bloody desert?”

I took a sip of the coffee, just about cool enough to drink.

“yeah, well. I wasn’t really in a sensible frame of mind, was I? Anyway, that Immigroid, she was wearing rainbows on her shoulders, so I think I was just lucky that day”

“Right. Time off is booked; I’ll square it with the boss. And I want chocolates brought back”

That Friday, Jacky surprised us both. She and Mary went back into London in the morning, joining me at a little French-themed café opposite the office after I had collected my little burgundy booklet with that rather important amendment.

“Good afternoon, girls. How was your morning?”

Jacky grinned happily.

“Saw dinosaurs!”

“How nice for you, my child. Seriously, are we eating in town or heading straight back?”

Jacky sniggered.

“Eating near here, but not heading straight back. I have made plans for tonight”

Mary asked, slightly apprehensively, what those plans might be, and Jacky waved her phone.

“Got tickets to a show, and as I have paid, it’s my choice”

Once again, though, her confident façade crumbled quickly.

“Welp, I hope it suits you. If it doesn’t, we can always cancel”

Mary took her hand.

“What show is it, Jacky?”

“Dirty Dancing”

“Ooh! That’s a definite yes from me! Ellie?”

“I’ve heard of the film, but not seen it. What’s it about, apart from dancing?”

Jacky turned to me, open-mouthed.

“Patrick Swayze? Nobody puts Baby in a corner?”

“I’ve heard of Swayze; wasn’t he in Point Break?”

Jacky and Mary exchanged open-mouthed looks before Jacky turned back to me.

“Please take this the right way, Ellie, but: are you sure you’re a woman?”