dorothycolleen's blog

snakes and ladders

Just wanted to give a shout-out to Bailey Summers' "Snakes and Ladders".

Its an unapologetically romantic story, originally started in honor of one of our late writers here, Wren Phoenix. It has a few references to sexual abuse in one of the early chapters, but otherwise, its been a sweet story with elves, dragons, and much more.

here is a link to the title page, should you wish to try it out:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/21927/snakes-and-ladders

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Sam had her grad tonight

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Well, my mom and I went to my daughter Samantha's graduation ceremony tonight, and it was pretty good. Sam is recovering nicely from her surgery, and looked very beautiful in her grad dress.

But, Sharon decided to introduce me to the other parents at our table as "Sam's Dad. He wears women's clothes, but is a good person anyway."

I believe my response showed my level of sophistication and maturity.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

Ah well, it was a good night regardless.

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my life the roller-coaster

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My life the roller-coaster.

Went from the amazing high of seeing Weird Al in concert (Thanks to Mike and Carol) to literally holding a stuffie against my mouth so no one would hear me scream as one of the worst waves of dysphoria I have had in a very long time kicked my butt.

Sighs ..

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I might be getting a makeover Saturday

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when I first started my transition, I went to the Bay (a Canadian version of Walmart, without the low prices, for those who dont know) and got some makeup tips and supplies. Well, its umm ... some years later, and I am going to be doing something like that again, this time with an actual goal in mind - to look as close to pretty as I am capable for a concert, or at least that's my plan.

Dont know if an opportunity will present itself for me to take a photo, but if it does, I'll share it ...

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overdoing it, and paying for it

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last couple of days my brother and I have been trying to do yardwork, pulling out the dandelions so then we can trim the grass. Its sad, but my brother who had knee surgery not that long ago, is still on street drug levels of painkillers, and has little or no cartilage in any of his joints, is actually in better shape than I am.

I'm in pain, exhausted but unable to sleep, and its setting off PTSD, dysphoria, and depression.

Sighs ... this too shall pass, I suppose ...

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you could have knocked me over with a feather

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okay so yesterday Sharon needed me to drive her to the vet because her cat was having problems. While we were waiting, she starts this conversation about her church, and says she thinks they are a little too quick to pull out judgement.

Then she says she was also guilty of this in dealing with my desire to transition. She said while she doesnt really understand it, or like it, she felt she had been more negative towards me about it than I deserved, and she apologized.

honestly, you could have knocked me over with a feather ...

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another day, another PTSD attack

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So not one of my better days yesterday. After dealing with 30 degree Celsius heat, I went to go on the chat site only to be given some error message. After panicking and leaving a message here, i eventually tried the obvious -reboot and log back in, and it worked. With that little problem solved, I decided I needed to go see a movie, and went to Deadpool 2.

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I really wanted to have something for you soon

I thought I had solved my block on the final chapter of "By the rivers of Babylon", but unfortunately, a really bad PTSD attack last night has left me with no spoons for writing. And if I dont get it done by the middle of next week, well, I'm gonna be a tad busy with my daughter going in for surgery on Wednesday.

Sorry ...

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make of this what you will ...

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Okay, so I've had bad dreams, and sad dreams, and searching dreams, but I dont think I have ever had a dream quite like the dream I had last night.

I was with my brother at a mall, when I suddenly caught a look at my own reflection.

And there was a beautiful woman in the mirror.

I mean she was fantastic looking!

I wasnt sure if I should say something or not, I just kept finding reasons to look for reflective surfaces to try and confirm what I was seeing.

Make of this what you will ...

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Time flies ...

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I was looking at my account info here, and discovered that my 9th anniversary of being on this site had come and gone without me noticing.

Ah, well, belated happy anniversary to me.

You guys are still the best bunch of crazies I've found yet ...

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got a double boost today

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okay, so anyone following this blog knows the last while has not been very good for me.

Today kinda made up for it.

First, it was a hot day, so I decided to break out a skirt for the first time this year, and while I was out walking the dog, an elderly lady complimented me on my outfit, making me blush.

Then, tonight, I took Sharon and Samantha to a pizza place for supper, and as I got out of the car, Samantha remarked on the skirt, suggesting that I might want shorts under it in case a breeze blew it up, and Sharon agreed.

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I dont have the words

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I am in a frustrating place in terms of my writing. I can visualize the final chapter of "By the rivers of Babylon", but when it comes to actually writing words ... I seem to be stuck.

sighs, I really wanted to try and finish that story so I could move on to other things ...

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not in a good place

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well, I think I spoke too soon about my depression lifting. I'm in a bad place where the only relief I seem to get from sadness is just being numb.

Worse, my writing has dried up, leaving me without one of my major outlets for dealing with crap.

I'm sorry to have to ask, but all hugs, prayers, or positives about me are appreciated.

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some good news about my daughter

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I got some good news about my daughter. I found out that she has been accepted to go to a continuing education program specially set up for handicapped people post grade 12.

They will focus on combining academics with life skills, and it will go for two years.

I'm very proud of her.

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magic blood pressure spikes

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Do you guys remember the dancing frog from the Warner Brother's cartoons?

Well, I've been having blood pressure spikes that seem to be doing the same thing - I see it at home, but they disappear as soon as my doctor checks me.

So my doctor has ordered a special bp test, to see if we can figure out what the heck is going on ...

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Harry Anderson has passed away

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Harry Anderson, best known for playing the judge on the TV show "Night Court" has apparently passed away at age 65.

I loved the show, and it had one of the earliest sympathetic portrayals of a trans person on network television.

I hope he's doing goofy magic tricks in Heaven.

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a most unusual dream

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I had a really unusual dream last night. I dreamed that I was back in university, but this time I was Dorothy. Not only that, I had this ... confidence about stuff I dont normally have in real life. Even people who reacted negatively to me were dismissed in my mind except to report them to a university official.

Not sure what that means ...

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busy real life eating into my writing spoons

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For my fans (I still have fans, I think), just to let you know that it still will be awhile before I have more for you guys to read, as real life is eating into my writing spoons.

But I will still check in and leave kudos and comments as I can ...

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