I have come to realize that my PTSD is about more than my rapes. Its every little trauma that followed the same neural pathway like little streams following the path of a mighty river. No wonder that by the time I finally sought help I had such a mess in my head ...

I went to a local pool today, and they have a "lazy river". It was really nice and kind of fun to let the current take me along, but there was always the security in knowing that if I wasnt happy with where I was going all I had to do was stand up. Gee, there might be something profound in that, dont you think?

wanted to give you guys an update. Now that my new computer is up and running, I am hoping to get back to writing as my spoons allow. unfortunately, as the two projects I have on the go are longer than my usual, including one I hope to make into my entry in the next contest, it will be a while before I have something to share with you all.

But I'll still be my usual comment-happy self, so no worries there ....

PTSD attack bad hugs needed

my computer has died, probably from an overdose of Jaci's girly germs. So I wont be online for a bit. huggles to all.

The quote is of course, courtesy Monty Python, and fortunately, I'm luckier than the fellow in the sketch. See, I dodged a bullet in terms of my liver. CT scan showed the same level of fatty tissue as before, so for now, its exercise, diet, and keep an eye on things. Also good news, despite the pain I have been feeling in my hip the last while, no signs of further arthritic damage, so my doctor said its most likely a pulled muscle or strained tendon, and again, losing weight would be the best thing I can do for it.

It is safe to say that without Big Closet. "Dorothy" would not exist. In fact its debatable whether I would even be alive now had I not found this site. Which is why the constant struggles to keep the site financially afloat has me worried, and more than a little frustrated.

See, I am on disability, and once I take care of my rent, car, and food, I might have maybe 20 bucks a month left over, and that's on a good month. Not to mention my mom is covering for me in terms of giving money to my ex and my daughter and that's far from fair.

Just wanted to send a public thank you to crazypagangurl; aka Tiffani, who listened to me blubber for about an hour last night.

hugs, and thank you!

Okay so I got some good news about Sam's future.

Apparently there is a program offered at NAIT that will allow her to take cooking arts there even if she doesnt have a GED. Not only that, it is specifically set up for people with mental disabilities like Sam, and they will also help her find a job in the field when she's done.

It all sounds fantastic ...

I have the beginnings of an idea about a story connected to my M.Y.T.H. universe, but I am going to need help. Does anybody know about creatures of the Louisiana swamps? Specifically, I'm thinking any thinking monsters or were-creatures ? If you do, or know any resources related to that mythos, please let me know.

I am in a weird place at the moment. Its kinda like this: (part of my brain): "Any moment now, my facade of happiness will crack, and I'll tumble into a depression ..... any moment now .... I'm braced, I'm ready, bring on the sad .... any time now ... (taps a foot ) ... yeah, it will sure will be awful .... when that big downer hits .... any time now ..."

and on and on like that ...

I wasnt sure I would finish it in time, but I managed to make a 2nd entry for the double dip contest, this one for the music side: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/76051/synchronicity

okay for someone who doesnt actually watch that much TV anymore, other than sports and Dr. Who. (and Agents of Shield), my subconscious seems to have been infected by TV shows.

Twice in the last week or so I have had dreams of being an actress on TV shows. The first time I played a young woman who had been a pioneer in getting an education in the early 1900's, and returned home to her small town in Eastern Canada, faced people who dismissed her because of her youth and gender, and helped solve a mystery.

Tomorrow will be a busy day.

I am expecting to have to run to Sam's school and the morning, because the disabled transport will probably drop her off early again.

Then I got to come home, find time to get some groceries done, go back and take Sam home, and then go to my friend and pick up a key to their place so I can dog sit this weekend, and probably wont be on during the weekend either.

so have a couple of extra huggles each to tide you all over till I'm back.

Well, had a stressful afternoon.

I had to get a sticker so I can park on my street during stadium events, which requires my car registration. and then I discovered that my registration had lapsed in July. Not only that my insurance card was not up to date either.

I was starting to do the beat myself up stuff, but I was able to get a hold of my insurance company and they sent a copy of my updated insurance to the registry office, and with that, I was able to get my registry updated.