Well, I wanted to talk about some positives about being trans, but last night I ended up fighting nightmares of rape basically the whole night. Probably triggered by my trying to write my autobiography, stupid me.

I will survive, but this isnt the way I wanted to start my day...

Ah, well.

Question for you all. If you were a pre-op male to female trans person, would you be comfortable using a woman's locker room? For example, before and after a gym class? I know my answer, but what do you guys and gals say?

You ever notice it sometimes feels like once one thing goes great, a bunch of other things start going great as well, and when one bad thing happens, it opens the door to a bunch of badness?

WARNING: WHAT IS TO FOLLOW IS A FRANK DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE. PLEASE BE CAREFUL READING ...

well, my mom showed me how alike we are in her reaction to the growth on the bottom of my foot.

I had a nice conversation with Sigh last night, and I just wanted to thank her publicly for talking with me, and tell everybody she is a sweet woman who I am glad to consider a friend.

I found this blog on de-transitioning, and thought I would share it. It bothers me, because of how similar our stories are, giving me fear that should I get the surgery, I'll only end up doing what he's doing ...

http://retransition.org/2013/10/detransition-transsexual-reg...

Well, last night I was having a conversation with Jaci, when out of the blue I started shaking and crying. I bawled and bawled for about twenty minutes, while Jaci just let me go at it, but finally I wound down enough to regain some control again, at which point I wanted to know why this happened. Jaci thinks this was because of the tension I had going into my physical finally coming out, but I'm not so sure that's the only reason.

Ah, well.

Well, I think I am giving up on Fictionmania. The last couple of stories I've posted there have received no comments at all.

It will come as no great shock to regular readers of this blog to find out I struggle with feelings of worthlessness at times.

spent most of yesterday at the hospital because I have some kind of growth on the bottom of my foot. I love the fact that I can go to the hospital without worrying about how I'm gonna pay for it ....

The best they could tell me is it isnt a bone spur or something like that. They think its an infection, so I will be on antibiotics ...

ah, well.

Well, I have a quandary, and I need opinions.

See, I was thinking about publishing some stuff on Kindle, but I am conflicted as to what I should publish.

So here are the choices:

Well, my subconscious is clearly trying to tell me something.

Well, today didn't go according to plan.

I was supposed to have a day with my daughter, but instead I ended up tagging along behind her and my ex as they walked around a local mall.

You ever have too many ideas?

I sure do right now. I could write every moment, skip meals and sleep and work, and I wont get them done until I'm 100 ....