~* Of Birthdays and Bullies *~ “Come on sweetheart, let’s get you to the office and file a report okay?” I just nodded. She helped me to my feet, and I immediately buried my face in her small shoulder. Tears now stung my eyes, completely blurring my vision. I could hear Allison gasp only a few steps down the hall. “What happened?!” she demanded. My kind, soft-spoken English teacher didn’t say a word as she continued to lead me to the office. I didn't realize until we arrived that Nicole had been following too. I collapsed into a chair, burying my face in my hands as they both wrapped their arms around me. “Who… Who would do something like this?” I finally managed.

---

“Hey, kiddo! How was school?” Margie called from the living room as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Great. It looks like I might make the basketball team. Hey, you never did tell me how the club thing went?” I knew Allison had to be getting tired of waiting for me by now, but this question had been bothering me all day! I poked my head around the door, my elder sibling smiling fondly back at me. She had a notepad open across her lap, and tucked her mildly chewed pencil behind her ear as she spoke.

“It was great. We haven’t just gone out dancing or anything like that since our college days.” Her cheerful smile left me wondering, but again, I decided not to ask. Margie never struck me as the type to be into girls, but then, Allison and I were practically inseparable best friends by now, and we didn’t have years and thousands of miles separating us the way Margie and Kelly had.

“Awesome. I’m just heading over there now to work on my homework with Ally.”

“Have fun. I’m going to stay in tonight and help your mom with some scrapbooking.” A mischievous grin crossed her lips at that comment, but I didn’t have time to pursue it. I turned, hurrying out the door and over to the Jones’.

Carol and Joe had told me on several occasions now that I didn’t need to knock and to just let myself in, but it’d taken me until very recently to finally get used to the idea. As I stepped inside, the all-too-familiar, mouthwatering aroma of seasoned, spicy taco meat assaulted my senses.

“Robin, is that you?” Kelly called from the kitchen.

“Yes, sorry I’m late. I had to ask Mom about what the doctors said.”

“Allison’s waiting in the den. C’mere a second?” She called back. I shifted my backpack slightly, stepping into the kitchen where she stood, dressed rather casually with a plain white kitchen apron wrapped around her waist, tending to the taco meat. She had just slid an oven mitt into place when I stepped closer.

“What’s up?”

As she opened the oven, I could already smell the heavenly, low-heat baked taco shells. She pulled the baking sheet out, setting it aside as she turned to me. “Allison told me you were feeling uneasy about being nominated for the Homecoming Court. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Without waiting for her to ask for the next ingredient, I automatically turned to the refrigerator, pulling the door open. “I’m okay now, really. It’s just, I’ve been so worried about someone finding out I wasn’t born a girl… I’ve been trying so hard to keep a low profile,” I explained, as I pulled a package of shredded cheese from one of the drawers, “And it’s like everyone’s conspiring to put me in the spotlight, for positive or negative ends.”

She laughed as she laid out two plates and began assembling our meaty Tex-Mex treats. “Yeah, she told me about the other girl. Props for not losing your temper by the way; I wouldn’t have been so gracious. The thing is what you’re going through? It has nothing to do with you being transgendered. This is just part of being a girl.”

“I guess… At Girl Scout camp, there was a girl … Well, you remember Natalie right? Came to our end of summer slumber party? Well, she was kind of like this girl, only she was just lashing out because of how the camp treated the suicide of her best friend. Brittany though… I don’t know what her problem is. It’s like she hates me because I exist.”

“Like I said,” she offered solemnly, as she turned to hand me both plates, “it’s just part of being a girl. You have to learn to navigate the powerplays and politics. You have one advantage in that you don’t have a boyfriend to steal though,” she offered wryly, “And another in that you have your friends to help you through this. Even naturally-born girls have to learn this stuff. Just ask Ally — it doesn’t come naturally. They just have a lot more time to practice than girls like us.” She winked.

I had to laugh a little at that. “Thanks, Kelly… I needed that. I’d hug you but I’m afraid I’d spill our tacos.”

She giggled as she wrapped her arm around my neck, kissing my forehead. “Go on, scoot. And yell if you girls need anything. Mom and Dad have gone out to dinner, so it’s just the three of us for a few hours.”

“There you are! Ooh, with tacos!” Allison squealed excitedly, leaping over the back of the sofa and rushing over. As she accepted her taco platter, she continued to chatter away. I couldn’t help noticing though, that the den had a new addition in the form of a large, expensive-looking black keyboard. I knew nothing about musical instruments before meeting Allison and Nicole, so I kept my distance.

“So, someone’s got a birthday coming up. I already mentioned that didn’t I?”

I laughed, both because she had indeed already mentioned it and because she finally let me get a word in edgewise. “Yes, but you didn’t say who, you nut! Is it Kelly?”

“Nope!” She beamed as she slid onto a barstool. Two glasses of iced red cream soda awaited us. “Guess again!”

“It’s not Nikki’s is it?” I continued, as I seated myself, shooting her a glance. Her giggle answered that question nicely. “So what do you have in mind?”

“Wee-ell, her parents basically told me I can do whatever I want within reason. We have only a few ground rules. Nothing illegal for one, obviously. Oh, and we have to decide where to host it. It’s got to be someplace big though so her house is out.”

I stopped chewing, tilting my head to give her a sidelong stare. “Um… Ally? Nikki’s house is huge. Like, you could fit both our houses in there twice huge.”

She grinned impishly as she set down her half-eaten taco. “Wait here a sec, ‘kay?” Without waiting for my response she bounded off the barstool and rushed over to the sofa. I meanwhile returned to my taco, finishing off the first of the two as she returned with her MP3 player. She passed me the earbud headphones which I slipped into place, staring at her expectantly.

The music that followed could only have been described as pre-Robin Nicole. The driving rhythms and dark undertones matched with the macabre lyrics in a way that left me rapt with fascination. I simply had to listen to the entire song. Allison’s approving grin did make me laugh though, as I removed her headphones and passed them back to her.

“Nice, huh?”

“That’s amazing, but who were they?”

Allison set her MP3 player aside even as she snatched up her half-eaten foodstuffs. “It’s a Euro goth band Nikki introduced me to back in April or so called Heedless Despair. They’re like, rock opera meets legitimate theater, and Nikki absolutely idolizes their bassist.”

“This is really cool, but what does this have to do with her birthday?” I could see where she was going at first, but the fact the group apparently are based out of Europe left me at a loss.

“Well, I can’t make any promises obviously, but I sent their agent an e-mail explaining everything. I honestly didn’t expect a response, but it turns out H.D. will be performing in concert in New York the week of her birthday.”

I stared, dumbfounded. “But wait, so how did you convince them to come here on such short notice?” By now, I had completely abandoned any notion of finishing my meal. Allison meanwhile kept crunching away as though this discussion were instead about pumpkin pie or something.

“Mr. Morgan is a shrewd negotiator. That and when their bassist found out Nikki’s like, her biggest fan on the planet? I’m told her ‘morbid curiosity got the best of her’, so they’ve agreed to perform at a premium rate. I don’t know all the details, really.”

“Ah, magic. Gotcha.” I playfully responded. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“Well, like I said, I need help planning. See, since we were like twelve, we’ve been talking about these ridiculously over-the-top plans for each others’ sweet-sixteen. It’s always been playful banter between two kids, but…”

I couldn’t help smiling, slipping off my stool to wrap her in a tight hug. “I understand. She’s special. She’s been through so much crap in her life, and she deserves to have an epic sweet sixteen, right?”

Allison giggled as she nodded, despite a few tears rolling down her cheek. “Yeah, exactly.”

“I’m honored, Ally. I have Kenpo tomorrow, and I have to work Saturday morning… and then there’s my therapy session that afternoon, but I’ll come RIGHT over after I get home to help you plan.”

“That sounds great. Wait, what about work? Oh right! Your dojo thing!”

“Yeah. Who’d have thought Mom and Sensei Rogers would’ve hit it off so well?” I laughed, our topic of conversation turning to gossiping about the prospective romance, even as we settled in to start our homework. In the back of my mind though, I couldn’t help worrying a little bit about Nicole’s birthday. A very wise person said that you should never meet your heroes, though with this band’s interest in the gig, maybe it would turn out okay after all. A girl can hope anyway.

Friday, as well as the weekend, passed uneventfully. Allison had called Jennifer while I kept Nicole distracted Saturday night, to let her know I’d be helping them plan. Sunday evening though, I finally managed to finish reading the latest issue of the Aria Blade/Raven Wing saga.

While Raven Wing monologued endlessly of her evil and dastardly plans for the captive Aria, one of the blonde heroine’s super team members, inked in as a black silhouette, infiltrated Raven’s base, setting off a psychic shockwave to disrupt the arcane trap and freeing Aria.

The biggest surprise though, had come at the end, when Raven, in a disoriented, drunken stupor from the psionic attack, asked Aria not to abandon her. Aria actually hesitated for a moment, considering internally whether or not she should reach out to Raven Wing, but ultimately declared the risk too high, and left Raven Wing a crumpled, babbling heap. As she fled, she looked back over her shoulder uneasily, with a large “TO BE CONTINUED…?” over the final panel.

The amount of care and depth the anonymous author put into the characters really showed. As I lay on my bed staring at the final panel, wondering what could possibly be going through Aria’s mind, and why she didn’t go back for Raven, I found myself violently shaken from my reverie. Margie covered her mouth to futilely fight a giggle from scaring me half out of my wits.

“I am so sorry. I just wanted to check on you. You’ve been so quiet tonight.”

I laughed as I rolled my shoulders. “It’s okay. I was just thinking. It seems like Aria Blade and Raven Wing at least like each other, like if they had been born in another universe that they’d be friends or something. I just don’t understand why Aria doesn’t tell Raven she’s worried about her.” I offered as I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I knew it was only fiction, but it was very thought-provoking fiction.

Margie smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed next to me and wrapped me in a hug. “Sometimes… The person we think we have to be gets in the way of who we really are inside. I don’t follow the comic, but from what you’ve told me I’d say Aria’s worried about how her super companions will react to her showing empathy for someone who, on several occasions since joining the team, has targeted her specifically.”

I tilted my head in thought at that then slowly smiled. “You know, that really makes a lot of sense. It’s like me with this Homecoming thing. I’ve been so scared that people will find out I wasn’t physically born a girl that I haven’t allowed myself to even consider the idea that a whole lot of people want to see me succeed, whether it’s because they think I deserve it, or because they think I can bring Brittany, our resident Queen of the School, down a peg.”

She giggled. “Kelly’s right. You do have a lot to learn. But you’ve always been sharp, so I have no doubt you’ll find your way. If you ever have questions though, you know you can come to one of us right?”

“Of course. Now more than ever.” I leaned over to kiss her cheek, squeezing her tightly.

“Sweet dreams, sis.” She responded, kissing my forehead. Already in my pajamas, I reached back, pulling my covers back. To my surprise she took over from there and gently tucked me in, which was something she hadn’t done since she babysat for me all those years ago.

Things progressed relatively quietly at school the next Monday, but to my great surprise, we only had a week until Homecoming already! Everyone was abuzz about who’d be chosen for Homecoming Queen. Victoria Esquire, a senior whose name I’d only heard a few times in passing, looked to be the frontrunner though. At least, I'd only heard of her in passing until she approached me in the hallway immediately after lunch.

“Robin right?” She asked, giving me a genuinely warm smile as she flagged me down. Nicole and Allison stayed by my side, but they stayed silent too.

“Yeah. Um… Victoria?”

“Yep!” She spoke with all the cheer I expected from a head cheerleader. “Heya Nikki, cute top.” She at least seemed to want to play nice to the girlfriend, but Nicole just smiled that ‘Bite me’ sarcastic, smug smile of hers. Victoria returned her attention to me. “Have you thought about who you want to escort you yet?”

“For… what?”

“Homecoming of course. See, this is how it’s going to work. At the Pep Rally next Friday-” she started, but I just had to stop her.

“Victoria, what are you talking about? I thought voting was supposed to continue until the last Monday in…” That’s when it hit me. It all struck me like a ten ton tennis ball. I stared for a long moment at her. “… Are you saying…? I… I mean I’m the…”

I screamed. I genuinely, wholly and with all I had in me screamed. I at least wasn’t the only one though, as Nicole and Allison joined me a moment later in the ridiculously girly spectacle. I didn’t care though — I won!

“Ohmygod this is so cool!”

Nicole giggled. “Holy shit. I’m dating the Sophomore Homecoming Maid. This is so cool!”

“Um, yeah, about that…” Victoria interrupted, turning her gaze on Nicole. “You’re not going to have a problem with Robin being escorted by a guy are you? I mean, it’s not like it’s just any guy.”

I glanced between the two of them, relieved that Nicole actually grinned. “Naw, I know football players escorting the ‘Royalty’ is tradition. But if he gropes her, I’ll break his arm off and beat him with it,” she added with a grim smile. I assumed word had traveled by now about our dating since Victoria didn’t freak out and run the other way or anything at our little not-so-secret just being blurted out like that.

Victoria smiled as she nodded. “Great. Personally I think it’s really cool that you guys feel safe being open about your relationship. Anyway I’ve got to get to class. Let me know what you decide though so I can tell the planning committee. Have a second choice ready too just in case your first choice is taken!”

As she raced off, I turned my attention to Allison and Nicole. “Oh my God…”

“I know!” Allison squealed excitedly.

“I don’t even know anyone on the football team though. My track record with jocks hasn’t gone well.”

“Come on, we can talk about it more in class,” Allison advised, as the final bell rang, warning us we’d be late if we waited any longer.

I found it impossible to focus for all the excitement. I fully expected someone prettier or more popular to win. I had several people congratulate me in the halls, including my apparent competition. I didn’t know how to react to all the sudden attention, so I just graciously thanked them and continued on my way. Sadly the euphoria wasn’t to last.

As I arrived at my locker after my last class, I found a note had been shoved inside.

‘Congratulations on Sophomore Maid, stupid lesbian bitch. Be smart and drop out or else!’

My hands were quivering. I could feel tears stinging my eyes already as I sank to my knees, staring at the note. Underneath the printed text pictures of Nicole and me had been attached and defaced. The worst part though was it looked like it was a photocopy, that the original might still be out there.

I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and looked up to see my AP English teacher bent down next to me. “Robin, what on earth happened?” the small-framed woman spoke gently. The note shook horribly in my hands as I held it up. She took it from me so she could read it, and immediately frowned. “Oh my God… If I find out who did this…” she began, then, as if only now realizing I was still there she immediately knelt and wrapped me in a hug.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you to the office and file a report okay?”

I just nodded. She helped me to my feet, and I immediately buried my face in her small shoulder. Tears now stung my eyes, completely blurring my vision. I could hear Allison gasp only a few steps down the hall.

“What happened?!” she demanded.

My kind, soft-spoken English teacher didn’t say a word as she continued to lead me to the office. I didn't realize until we arrived that Nicole had been following too. I collapsed into a chair, burying my face in my hands as they both wrapped their arms around me. “Who… Who would do something like this?” I finally managed.

Nicole responded icily, “If I find out who it is, they’re going to wish they’d never been friggen BORN!”

The secretary glanced over the rim of her wire-frame glasses at us at Nicole’s outburst, but before she spoke, she reached up to look at the note that had been left in my locker. She immediately scowled, took the box of tissue from her desk, and approached me, kneeling.

“Here you are, sweetheart...”

I managed a weak smile as I took several tissues and began trying to compose myself. As if on cue, Mr. Rochelle stepped out of his office.

“Alright, Mrs. Ellis, what’s the meaning of-” he began, but shut right up when he saw me. I just nodded, deferring to her. She gingerly picked up the note as though it were the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen, handing it to him.

I could see the blood drain from his face as he read it. He immediately disappeared back into his office, leaving us alone. Mrs. Ellis glanced between me and the open door, biting her lip. Finally she turned and rushed inside after him. A few moments later, she poked her head around the corner, motioning for me to come.

I quietly stood and made my way inside, sitting without bothering to wait for either of them to ask. Principal Rochelle had just hung up the phone. He rubbed his temples slowly, and then turned his gaze on me.

“I’m sorry…” I began. He shook his head slowly.

“No, I’m sorry. There was supposed to be a staff member monitoring that hallway at all times to prevent precisely this sort of harassment. I just notified local authorities personally. I may not understand or agree with all this, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let this slip by while I’m Principal of this school.” His angry tone honestly scared me. I couldn’t help feeling thankful he was on my side. “I need to call your mother and let her know about this as well.”

“Please don’t. I’ll tell her myself. She’s just now starting to recover. Can you call the Joneses instead? Joe and Carol are listed as my legal contacts in case Mom and Margie are unreachable,” I pleaded. Mom needed to know, but I wanted to tell her myself, so I could at least temper it with some good news.

He sighed, reluctantly nodding. “Alright, I’ll call Joe Jones just this once. I need you to wait here until someone arrives to take your statement, and you need to decide if you want to file criminal charges. Strictly off-the-record though,” he added, leaning forward, “If I find out who did this, I will personally put my size twelve wingtips in their-”

“Sir…” Mrs. Ellis interrupted him. He cleared his throat.

“Yes, of course… I apologize Mrs. Ellis, Miss Smith. You may both step out.”

Mrs. Ellis wrapped me in another hug as we left the room. Even at my meager five feet and five inches (I finally grew an inch!) I still managed to eek out more height than her, though at that moment I couldn’t have felt smaller.

I sighed as I took my seat to wait for Joe to come. Nicole came over and hugged me again.

“Nikki… I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But-”

“ANYTHING, Robin,” she insisted more sternly. I sighed as I rested my head on her shoulder.

“This was bound to happen. I got one too, only it was a lot nastier. I think they were sent by the same person, maybe Jason… Asshole’s not even supposed to be back yet.”

“It might’ve been Brittany too… She pretty much blew her chance at Homecoming because of me.” I exhaled slowly then glanced around. “Um… Where’s Ally?”

“She went to tell Jen and Chelsea what happened.” She reached a hand up, gently brushing my hair out of my face and back over my ear. I couldn’t help smiling a little as she stared back at me. God I loved her so much right then.

“Are you okay now?” she asked softly. I couldn’t help, as odd as it sounded and felt, thinking of Aria Blade, looking back on Raven Wing’s temporarily crippled form.

I gave a weak nod. “I’m okay now. It’s just empty words.” I wanted to believe that, but the ‘or else’ at the end made it seem so much more.

Only five minutes had passed when the office door opened. Joe and Carol both barged inside. Carol looked positively frantic, and Joe like he wanted to rip someone’s intestines out and use them for a jump rope. They both rushed over to me.

“Robin, are you alright?” Carol asked. I nodded before standing to hug both of them. I’d by now managed to compose myself at least, but my makeup had to be ruined.

“I’m okay now. There’s supposed to be someone coming to get my statement then I can go home. … Speaking of which, I need to call Kelly. We were all going to watch Jen’s cheer practice while we did our homework, then go out for pizza, but now…”

“I already called on the way over,” Carol responded reassuringly, adding a moment later, “Where’s Allison?”

As Nicole explained where their missing daughter had run off to, the office door opened again. This time I caught a glimpse of a familiar, blonde French braid just as Officer Garrett moved right past me, ignoring the secretary and heading straight into Principal Rochelle’s office.

The entire office fell silent as a graveyard at midnight. We all held our collective breaths and waited for that door to open again. Finally, Officer Garrett stepped out, approaching me.

“Robin Smith,” she spoke calmly, even smiling a little, “We have to stop meeting like this young lady.”

I managed a weak laugh. “I agree.”

“Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Well, you’ve seen the note, right?” I waited for her to nod, continuing, “I just went to my locker to get my books, when I found that there. Nikki says she got one too,” I added. Nicole frowned nervously as she produced the note, handing it to Officer Garrett.

The police woman scowled as she looked at the note. “These are definitely from the same person — or persons. The photo is the same in both. I assume you want to press charges?”

I nodded quickly. “Yes. I… I can’t just let whoever did this get away with it,” I offered softly.

“I understand. Alright, I just need you to sign this,” she offered her clipboard, glancing at Nicole, “What about you?”

Nicole quickly nodded. “Yes, but I have to talk to my dad first. He’s going to want his own lawyer in on this. Nobody messes with a Morgan.” She smiled with far more confidence than I felt.

The officer nodded, taking the clipboard back from Joe. “Just have your dad’s lawyer contact Alpine Springs police department. Ms. Smith’s name will be on the incident report. Meanwhile the school’s going to turn over its security tapes to try and see who could have done this. When did you last check your locker by the way — either of you?”

“Um… Just before the end of last period for me.”

“Yeah, same for me.” Nicole added.

“That’s going to narrow it down quite a bit. Do you know anyone specifically that might’ve done this?”

“Stacey Peterson, Brittany Scott, and Jason Beaumont have all been giving me crap since school started. Stacey’s not that petty or stupid, and I don’t think Brit would sink this low… And Jason is supposed to be suspended.”

“What about the other guy who jumped you?” Nicole added. Officer Garrett gave me a skeptical glance.

“Jason Beaumont and another boy attacked me after school a couple of weeks ago. I never got the other kid’s name but Principal Rochelle knows who it is. He was in in-school suspension last week, but I don't know about this week.”

“We’ll look into it and let you know what we find out. Congratulations on Homecoming, for what it’s worth,” she added with a wry smile, patting my shoulder. I couldn’t help myself and hugged her in return.

“Thanks Officer Garrett. Coming from you that means a lot to me.”

She smiled as she turned to step back into the Principal’s private office. Meanwhile Carol, Joe, and of course Nicole walked me out of the main office. Allison joined us as we walked outside, and out in front of the school, sitting in the waiting squad car, Officer Garrett’s partner waved at us. I waved meekly back as we passed, heading out to the parking lot, for the long drive home.

When we pulled into the drive, Mom was waiting for us. I could tell she had been crying by the brief glimpse I was afforded before she scooped me up in her arms, holding me tightly.

“Carol called and told me the school called. Why didn’t you call me honey?” She insisted, sounding more than a little upset, and understandably so.

“I’m sorry… Principal Rochelle wanted to call you, but I thought it’d be better if you heard it from me, that way I could give you the good news too.”

“Sweetheart… You never, ever have to hide anything from me, or temper it with good news.” She spoke softly as she stroked my hair. I buried myself in her warm embrace, sighing softly.

“I’m the Sophomore Maid for our Homecoming Court. It feels like kind of a hollow victory now… I was so excited before I got that stupid note.”

“The police are investigating it aren’t they?” she asked me gently.

“Yeah. Officer Garrett, the lady who took our statement with the other incident this summer, said knowing the notes weren’t there when we last checked will make it easy for them to narrow it down.”

“Then you shouldn’t let this get you down. I’m upset too. I’m furious, but more than anything, I’m proud of you and Nicole both for having the courage to openly be who you both are. Now, come on inside and we can talk some more over some hot tea.” She paused, glancing at our extended ‘family’ who had until now simply watched in silence. “Would you all like some too?”

Nicole and Allison responded in unison by rushing over to hug the both of us. Carol and Joe glanced at each other and smiled, nodding. Carol offered, “That sounds wonderful, Linda. I think we could all use a little of your relaxing herbal tea after today. Congratulations by the way, Robin.”

I smiled a little as Mom led me inside, with the others close behind. It had been a roller coaster day in so many ways. I nearly fainted when Victoria gave me the news, and I thought I’d lose my lunch when I read that damned note. Now I at least had managed to get myself a step above numb, and Mom’s herbal hot tea would do wonders to help with that too.

I could only hope that whoever wrote those vicious notes to Nicole and me got exactly what they deserved, be it punishment or redemption. I’d leave that to fate to decide, as right now, all I cared about was putting it out of my mind for awhile.