“If I decide that it might be more convenient all round Sally, and it’s still a big if, do you think that I could be made to look realistic and presentable as a woman?” I finally conceded after thinking about what was happening to me.

“I’ll be honest with you. As well as your short slim physique and the breasts, you are not nearly as muscular as you were, your waist and bum are becoming much more femininely shaped, and your skin is much softer than it used to be, the hormones have definitely get a huge grip on you. Even without the clothes and a more feminine hairstyle you are already looking more like a woman than a man. If we can get something done with your hair, and apply a bit of makeup, you will look no different to any other woman, and will easily pass as one. You are not on your own with this, I will help you transform yourself as much as I can, and Harry told you that if you want to appear at work as a female that will not present a problem, why not give it a try?’

“I suppose that you are right Sally, now that I have accepted what is happening to me, we need to make this work properly, let’s give it a go, where do we start?”

“I’ll phone my hairdresser to see if she can give you extensions, restyle your hair, and give you a makeover. Before that you need to get rid of what little body hair that you still have, although the hormones have done most of the work to achieve that already. Go and shave where you can reach, I’ll finish off any bits that you miss. While you are doing that I’m just going out for a few minutes.”

After the shave and shower I was just drying myself off when Sally returned. She liberally applied scented moisturiser all over my body, but stopped when she got to my groin.

“Jay, this is embarrassing, have you always been this small down there or is this more of the hormones effects.” Causing me to burst into tears.

“I’ve noticed it getting smaller every day and my balls have disappeared, I get the feeling that it won’t be long it will be before I have no choice about whether or not I appear as a woman”.

“Look on the bright side, at least the new panties I’ve just bought for you will fit you better now.” she giggled but I found it hard to join in with the fun and treat it as a joke.

“While I was out, as well as the panties I bought you another skirt a couple of tops and some makeup. Now that you’ve decided that looking like a woman is the best option you will need a new wardrobe. I’ve left a skirt and top on your bed, go and get dressed, the sooner that you start to accept that everyone will now see you as woman, the better it will be.”

I was soon dressed in what she had selected for me, a light cotton mid-length floral skirt and cornflower satin sleeveless scoop neck top with broderie anglaise trimming, and feeling embarrassed at how feminine the outfit was, I went out to let her see how it looked on me.

“Oh that fits you like a glove, and with that low top showing your cleavage there is no chance of anyone mistaking you for a man in a skirt.”

“Why am I dressed in such a feminine outfit when you are sitting there in leggings and a chunky wool jumper.”

“Look Molly, and that is what I will call you now, unless you prefer another girl’s name, I am totally confident in my femininity and don’t need to stress it and always make an effort, whereas you need to get yourself into that frame of mind, and there is no better way to remind you than
wearing more girly outfits. Now sit down and relax and get used to how the clothes feel.

You have an appointment at the salon in the morning to get a makeover and your hair restyled. I’ve told my friend Jessica about you and she is very sympathetic to your problem and has promised to treat you like any other of her female clients.”

“You’re rushing me Sally, I thought that this would be a lot more gradual.”

“You are restarting work on Monday, and if you are going present yourself as Molly, you have a lot of adjusting to do. You haven’t got time for gentle little baby-steps, you need to jump in at the deep end, it’s a case of sink or swim.”

“I just hope that I don’t sink under the pressure. I’ve been thinking and I would prefer it if you called me Claire, it was my mum’s name, I’ve always liked it, No doubt that the guys at the station will always call me Molly, but if you use the name Claire it will keep reminding me of who I now am.”

For the rest of the evening she shaped and painted my nails, showed me how to apply a subtle daytime makeup, making me repeat it several times until she was happy that I would be able to make myself presentable for my trip to the salon, as she would have to go to work early in the morning, I was dreading getting myself dressed and made up without her supervision, then having to make my way alone to the salon. She soon left, with a cheery “Don’t worry about tomorrow, Jessica will treat you well and believe me, if you look in the morning like you do now, you can comfortably walk to the salon without anyone doubting who you are.”

I was up early, with butterflies in my stomach, to get myself ready, skipping breakfast other than a coffee, warily checked that none of my neighbours were about, and set off for the salon. Once I was away from the house I relaxed a little, particularly after getting a friendly “Good morning, lovely day isn’t it dear.” from a middle-aged woman giving her terrier its morning walk, and by the time I arrived I was reasonably comfortable in how I looked, took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Good morning, I’m Jessica, have you an appointment?’

“Yes I’m Claire Murray, my friend Sally Cartwright spoke to you yesterday, but she probably used my work nickname of Molly.”

Jessica took a sharp intake of breath and quickly scanned me from head to toe pausing only for a second on my visible cleavage.

“OMG, Claire, you are not what I was expecting, I didn’t realise that the overdose of hormones had such a drastic effect. When Sally told me about you, I was anticipating a long hard job transforming someone butch into a presentable replica of a woman, but working on you will be no different to all my other clients. Sorry, I’m rambling and must be embarrassing you. Come in take off your coat and I’ll get you a smock to put on, and do you prefer tea or coffee?”

“Coffee will be fine. It’s my first time in a ladies’ salon, so please explain anything you want me to do in plain English, I have no idea of most of the normal beauty language. Sally said something about hair extensions, I don’t want it too long, I need to be able to easily manage it,”

“Right, I’ll just add short extensions to create a bob, down to collar and chin level, tidy it all up , give it a light tint so that the extensions blend in with your natural hair, then put it in rollers to style it for you, While your hair is drying, we’ll see what I can do with your face, does that sound ok.

“You’re the expert, do whatever you think is best.”

An hour later I was lying in a recliner chair dozing, my hair in rollers and with an exfoliating and moisturising mask on my face when I was woken from my stupor by Jessica.

“Come on Claire, let’s get your face cleaned up and I’ll trim your eyebrows and take you through a new makeup look. What you did yourself this morning was fine, but you deserve better than that.”

Soon she was satisfied with the makeup, I looked in the full-length mirror and almost fainted, I didn’t believe that the reflection I was looking at was me, I wasn’t just passable as a woman, I was actually attractive. My emotions were a mixture of disbelief, happiness that I could at least be comfortable until my medical situation was resolved, worry that I was past the point of no return and that my life as a man would soon be over, and started to weep.

“That’s enough of that , you don’t want to ruin all my good work on your face do you? Go out and face the world, you look as good as, if not better than, most of the other women that come in here.”

“That’s wonderful Jessica, what do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house dear, you are a hero for what you did and how you are facing up to the effects of the chemical spill, you deserve a bit of pampering. I hope to see you again soon, and if you have any problems give me another visit.”

I needed a bit of time to take it all in and clear my mind, so stopped a few doors along, sat at a pavement table at a cafe, and ordered a tea and piece of cake.

“Hello there again, do you mind if I join you. I’m Sophie, we said hello this morning when I was walking the dog. I wasn’t sure if it was you or not, as you have obviously been to the salon, but I recognised your outfit. It’s a nice change to see another woman wearing a skirt, everybody seems to prefer trousers nowadays, especially the young girls” I looked up and saw the woman with the terrier that I had said hello to earlier.

“‘By all means, please sit down. I’m Claire by the way, and what do you call your dog.”

“He’s called Little Mac after my husband Andy’s nickname at work.”

“What does your husband do?”

“He’s a firefighter at the local station.” I was taken aback by the coincidence of meeting, of all people, the wife of one of my colleagues, and started to weep. The hormones were not just affecting my looks, they seemed to be affecting my emotions too, that was twice this morning that I had been teary.

“Are you all right Claire, have I said the wrong thing and reminded you of something you would rather forget? Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s not you Sophie, it’s me, I have a lot going in my life at the moment and sometimes it gets on top of me. Actually I would like to talk, but not here, come with me to my house and we’ll have a chat.”

Sophie started following me the short distance home, generally passing the time of day on the way, but as we passed her house she invited me in. “We’ll be better off here, I can let Little Mac out into the garden to give us a bit of peace and quiet, while you tell me what is distressing you.”

“Did your husband tell you anything about a major incident at the pharmaceutical factory a while ago?’

“Not really, not at the time anyway, he reckons the less I know about the dangers he faces, the easier I will sleep at nights. However yesterday he told me that one of his colleagues was exposed to an immense dose of female hormones at that incident and the poor man seems to be gradually turning into a woman.” which caused me to burst into tears again.

“I’m sorry Sophie, but I need to tell someone. That colleague of Mac is me, he has probably called me Molly when he told you about me, as everyone at the station does.”

“Never I find that difficult to believe, he has told me all about you. Oh, you poor thing, it must all be so difficult for you. If it is any consolation Andy said that the all guys at the station are full of sympathy and admiration for you and are looking forward to you turning up for duty next week”

“I feel so confused, I’m not like this by choice, I am worried as to how they will react when they see me. Today is the first day that I have really been out in public like this and the trip to the salon was supposed to make it easier for me to appear just like any other woman.”

“Well it certainly does that Claire, I would never have guessed. I have a suggestion, let’s go for a walk, come back and have some tea, then stay until Andy gets home from work and see how he reacts.The way he has talked about you yesterday, I’m sure that there won’t be any problems.”

When Andy returned later, Sophie introduced me as Claire, an old friend that she had bumped into today, and he just accepted me for what I appeared to be, went off to get changed and left us giggling at the situation and his lack of recognition, before returning a few minutes later.

“Andy, remember you told me about your colleague that was affected by the chemical spill, well this is her, him, whatever.”

“Never, I don’t believe you, stop winding up.” he spluttered taking in my hairstyle, makeup, clothes and above all else my pert breasts, not really believing what he was seeing.

“Sophie is telling the truth Mac, it is really me, Jay, Molly, Claire, whichever you prefer, this is what that hormone spill has done to me. This, or something a little less fancy, is how I’ll be turning up for work on Monday.

“Wow, it’s just as well that you are in the female locker room with Annie, I don’t think the guys would be able to cope with you in with us. Anyway, if it is ok with Sophie, why not stay for dinner with us and we can have a longer talk.”

“Actually I am expecting Sally to call round tonight, I need to be getting home to get something prepared.”

“Ask her round here too, but with you looking like that, tell her to get dressed up too, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in a dress or skirt, she usually tries to blend in with the guys at the station.”

I gave Sally a call and told her what had happened and she soon arrived, dressed to kill in a low-cut, figure-hugging above-the-knee dress, with her hair loose and properly styled instead of just in a ponytail, and with immaculate makeup, she was looking gorgeous. The pair of us stared at each other with disbelief.

After he got over the initial shock of seeing the new me and the different Sally, Andy relaxed and enjoyed the company of the three of us woman, as he now considered me to be too. He promised that he would not tell the guys at the station how I had turned out, so that they could get as big a shock as he had.

“Sophie, can you do me a favour, Claire needs something plain and not overly feminine to wear to the station on Monday, Jeans or leggings and plain tops, can you take her shopping tomorrow to see if you can find something suitable? “ Sally asked “If she turns up at the station looking like she does tonight, the guys will freak out.” Calling me ‘she’ and ‘her’ didn’t sink in at first but when I realised what she had said, I just accepted that is how people would treat me now and I would have to get used to it.

Sally drove me home and I invited her in for a glass of wine to tell her about my day at the salon and how I had met Sophie.

“Jessica did an amazing job on you, you look gorgeous. I never told you before as It always embarrasses me and I don’t want to give the guys at work another opportunity to make fun of me, but I am bi, I’ve had good times with both men and women. Having seen you naked earlier, I realise that hetero sex is probably out of the question, but do you fancy an introduction to Sapphic enjoyment, seeing you looking like that has got my juices flowing and I’m feeling a bit horny.”

Sally stayed the night and we enjoyed a lot of new experiences for both of us until she had to drag herself away in the morning to go to get ready for work. “Enjoy yourself shopping with Sophie, she seemed to easily accept you as female, just follow her lead and listen to what she suggests. I’ll see you later girlfriend.”

In the morning I was surprised at how easily my hairstyle fell into place, Jessica told me that she had used a soft perm so that it would be easier for me to keep tidy. It didn’t take long to redo my makeup and I was soon dressed in a cotton top and denim mid-thigh skirt confidently walking round to Sophie’s. She and I had an enjoyable girls’ shopping trip with her telling me what suited me and sat well on me. She even talked me into buying a fitted dress as well as the casual gear for work, joining me in the changing room while I changed and not even flinching when she saw me in just my bra and panties. Although she knew differently she just saw me and treated me as another one of her woman friends.

On the way back home we stopped off at a bistro for a quick drink to finish off the day, and were discussing what I had bought when we were interrupted by two young men approaching our table.

“Excuse me girls, I’m Callum, my friend Rory and I were wondering if you would like to join us for a drink.”

“Thank you Callum, but I am happily married.” Sophie replied with a smile flashing her wedding ring.

“And I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate you giving us too much attention.” I quickly followed, getting a giggle from Sophie.

They took the hint and went over to try their luck with a couple of young women sitting at the bar.

“That’s another lesson you’ve learned, the gentle put down. Take it as a compliment that they thought you attractive enough to give it a try. Honestly, the way you look, the way you behaved at dinner last night and your reaction to what we were looking at in the shops, it’s hard to believe that you are new to being a woman, you look as comfortable as if you have been female all your life.”

“Be assured this is all completely new to me, it’s just that I am accepting where I am at now, and unless the doctors come up with a miracle this is how I will stay. It makes it easier that Sally and you are accepting me as I am. To be honest I’ve never had close friends that I could have this sort of conversation with, but with you and Sally it just seems easier to talk about how I feel. Men are much more guarded and are not as open with their feelings and emotions as women are, they are their own worst enemies sometimes, I think that when I go back to work the guys will feel uncomfortable around me, despite how Andy so easily accepted me last night.”

“Claire, you probably didn’t realise, but you just said ‘they’ and ‘their’ when referring to men, not ‘we’ and ‘our’, are you starting to think of yourself as a woman now rather than as a man?”

“To be honest I don’t know what I am, I am so confused, but, no matter what I feel or what I would prefer, I don’t seem to have much choice in the matter, the hormones seem to have control of my body and emotions.”

Back at Sophie’s I felt it was the right thing to do to give her a goodbye hug. “Thanks so much for today Sophie, you really made it all a lot easier for me. Give me a few days to get the house clean and tidy, unfortunately that part of me is still in man-mode, then you and Andy must come round for a meal with Sally and me.”

I look forward to it, sometimes it is a bit lonely around here, Andy works long hours, as you know, and I have never got involved with the neighbours that much, book clubs, going round for tea and things like that. It’s nice to have a friend to share some girl-time with, and if you ever feel like a chat just give me a call.”

The next few days , as promised to Sophie, I tidied up the house, gave everything a good dust and clean, washed the towels bedding and loose covers, washed down the paintwork and emptied the laundry basket into the washing machine. I was quite proud of what I had done, the house had been a bit neglected since I had joined the Fire Service. The rest of the week and over the weekend, Sally and I spent the nights together, either at my place or hers, usually just sleeping cuddled together but enjoying the joy of sex when we both had the energy.

Monday morning was the moment to put my head into the lions den, and I dressed casually in slim-fit trousers and a sports shirt which made a change from the skirts I had been wearing as much as possible. With my hair pulled up into a high bunch, my face dressed with a tinted moisturiser, a touch of mascara and a pale almost transparent lipstick, I tremulously walked into the station with Sally hoping to be as inconspicuous as possible. However it wasn’t to be that easy, there was a large banner ‘Welcome back Molly’ in the entrance and the whole watch were there to greet me. At first there were whoops and cheers, but as the guys took in my appearance their was a momentary stunned silence before the noise started up again, and they all came over to shake my hand or even give me a hug.

“Right that’s enough guys, go back to the restroom and settle down. Now that’s all over girls. go and get changed, we are on call.” Harry brought the watch back to order.

Other than the occasional look of incredulity from the guys the day passed normally, with a couple of minor call-outs, nothing too challenging.

“Well done Molly, you settled back in well, the guys behaved themselves a lot better than I expected. Soon as Molly you will be just another member of the watch, and except for being seen as one of the girls, you will be treated just like everybody else on the team.

Some good news for you. We have put your name forward for the King’s Fire Service Medal for your selfless rescue of Jack Coulson, at his request I might add, and County Headquarters have already granted you a Chief’s Commendation and nominated you for a British Empire Medal. congratulations Molly, that is a brilliant start to your career and is not far behind what your Dad achieved in all his years of service. If either of those medals goes through you will need to get yourself a new dress uniform more appropriate to how you now look.

Things soon settled into a routine at work, Sally and I were involved with incidents no differently to the men.

Things moved a lot more quickly off duty, between Sally and Sophie I was absorbed more and more into the sphere of womanhood, even to the extent of packing all my male clothes and any ‘boy’s toys’ away into storage, my whole life now had become one of femininity. Without naming me, the story of my rescue of Jack Coulson and the after-effects for me were disclosed in the local newspaper, and apart from a few bigoted crackpots there was an extremely supportive and understanding response from the general public. However to save any confusion and controversy with neighbours who previously knew me as Jay. I moved in with Sally and gave up the lease on my house.

I was continuing to develop more feminine characteristics, my breasts seemed to have stopped growing at a C cup but my penis had shrunk even further and was not worthy of being called as such. I had almost given up hope of any change in the situation when I was called in to see the brigade’s doctor again. Not worried about any reaction I might get from him, I had an appointment with Jessica for another makeover, dressed in a smart skirt suit and made my way to County Headquarters.

“Good afternoon Jay, thank you for coming in.”

“I prefer to be called Claire at the moment until you can sort out my situation.”

“Actually that, and the way you are dressed, makes this conversation easier than I thought it would be. I have had several conversations with a specialist endocrinologist who has been looking into your case. Basically it is suggested that there are three options and they all have benefits and potential hazards..

At the moment the oestrogen dose you ingested is, to put it in layman terms, having a battle with your natural testosterone, and the oestrogen seems to be winning the battle. It isn’t helped by the fact that your natural testosterone level is, and has always been very low, which shows up in the record of the tests you were given before you joined the Fire Service. That along with your DNA build up has meant that you have never grown as big, muscular or strong as most of your male contemporaries. As I have said, we see three options to try to overcome the situation.

You could be given a huge dose of testosterone which will compete with the oestrogen in controlling and determining your body characteristics. However the oestrogen has infiltrated your body all the way down to cellular level, and quite frankly the experts do not know what the result will be. Extreme high and low levels of both hormones carry potential effects of damage to bodily organs and functions.

The easiest option from a medical point of view is to leave things as they are and see what happens. I know that doesn’t sound very professional, but to be honest we are in uncharted territory here.

The third option is for you to accept that your body is on the path to femininity and we keep you topped up with female hormones to maintain you at the correct level and carry out gender reassignment surgery so that you are fully functional as a female, except obviously with the exception of reproductive capability, and that carries its own risks.”

“None of those sounds particularly appealing, can you not be a bit more positive?”

“Frankly no we can’t, as I said, we are in uncharted territory here. You need to think about the options. It’s totally up to you, but I suggest that the wisest option with the least risk is to let nature take its course and see where it leads you, at least for the immediate future. Just for our records to help us understand your problem a bit better, I would like to give you another examination and do more tests, is that ok?”

“Do your worst Dr Dalgliesh, the more you know, the sooner we can get this sorted out, one way or another.”

“That’s all that completed, please get dressed again…Claire. As I said last time, other than the continuing feminisation you are perfectly fit and there is no reason for you not to continue your duties. As you are no doubt aware, and are probably happy to know, your breast growth seems to have stopped, but that is mainly genetic, transgender women rarely get to be a bigger size than their mothers and are usually one cup size down. Your waist has lost all its fat and any further reduction is unlikely as it is limited by your bone structure, however there is still a growth of fat deposits in your buttocks and upper thighs giving more prominent feminine hips. From the way you look and act, you seem to have socially adapted to living as a woman, and as I said before my recommendation would be to do nothing at the present, Call me if you want to go for either of the other options.”

Later Sophie came round for a coffee and chat and I told her what Dr Dalgliesh had said.

“You sound disappointed and that you were hoping that this could all stop and you could go back to your former self, However as I understand it you have to accept that is not going to happen, at least not anytime soon, and get on with living your life as Claire. “

“It’s easy for you to say that, you have never known anything different, my body might be female but my mind and memories are still male.”

“Ok, but you really do look and behave like a woman now, you even talked about men the other day as if you were not one yourself. The guys at work accept you as you are, Sally seems to like you as you are. I think the doctor is right, just bide your time and see where your body takes you, you don’t need to make any quick decisions which could have bad outcomes. Just let Sally and me help you to adjust, I’m sure that you can learn to think of yourself as the woman you appear to be.”

“You’re probably right, I have to start looking forward rather than back and just get on with my life. Thank you Sophie, you are a good friend.”

Over the next few months very little changed, the battle between the hormones in my body seemed to have gone into a ceasefire, with the oestrogen having gained the upper hand. The guys at work had accepted that Sally and I were now a couple, buddies in life as well as on duty.

Butch was back at work, but not on active duties, he was told that he would not recover his full previous fitness and was replaced on the watch by Naomi, a happy pleasant girl of Caribbean heritage, Between Sally, now seen as a lesbian, me, now seen as a transgender woman, and Naomi, as our ethnic minority crew-mate, there was now no need for Sally to think of herself as the token minority representative to meet diversity targets. That gave Harry the problem of who to buddy Naomi with.

Meantime I was been proud to have been invited to the Palace to be honoured with the BEM by the Prince of Wales, all kitted out in my new dress uniform accompanied by Sally in a fancy cocktail frock. The previous week up at County Headquarters I had been presented with my Chief’s Commendation and King’s Fire Service Medal, after which I was taken aside by the Chief Fire Officer.

“Jay, you have impressed my management team and although you haven’t registered for it, with your degree qualification, your bravery awards, and the leadership qualities you have shown in your day-to-day duties, you are being listed on the rapid career development programme. With immediate effect you are being promoted to crew manager and it should not be too long before you are given your own watch. However this will mean a transfer to another station, to assist you in adjusting to your new role, are you happy to do that?”

“Thank you Sir, I’m looking forward to the new challenges. Although I accept that a transfer will enable me to progress, I would like it to be relatively local.. I am still adjusting to my new life and have a support network of friends who are helping me, I do not want to move away from them. Although I know that my situation is common knowledge and that the gossip network in the service soon passes on any information, I would like my records changed to officially list me as Claire, which was my mother’s name, and wish to be introduced as such to my new colleagues, although to the guys back at the station I will aways be known as Molly. The sooner that I am accepted as such, as much any other woman is accepted in the service, the easier is will be for me to forget my past and look to the future.”

“Fair enough Claire, the guys in the stations may still be ‘boys’ clubs’ and be a bit patronising towards their female colleagues, but we are trying to change that. The more qualified and talented women like yourself that are in positions of responsibility, the sooner the guys will accept you all as just another one of their colleagues. I might add that a lot of the senior staff will be watching your progress, we expect that in the future you will be knocking on the glass ceiling to take over a senior role yourself.”

After a few months as crew manager, as I gradually adjusted more and more to becoming Claire, I was transferred to another station as Watch Manager, after being given a big send-off by the boys on the team. Sally was given a new watch partner, Naomi, but we stayed together as life partners.

It was soon obvious that the oestrogen had won the battle of the hormones, my testes had disappeared and my penis almost non-existent, and following medical advice I underwent the surgery to confirm my future as the woman that I had already mentally become.

Over the next fifteen years I was fast-tracked up the promotion ladder serving time as Watch Manager, Station Manager, Group Manager and finally Area Manager responsible for all the stations in the North of the county, the second highest rank in the service, held for the first time by a woman. Sally had followed me up the promotion ladder and was now successfully running her own teams as Station Manager.

I was leaving a management meeting a few years later, but was asked to remain by the Chief Fire Officer.after the others had all left.

“Claire, as you well know I am 55 next month, and it’s time for me to be put out to pasture and retire, although I still feel that I have a lot to offer. I recommended you as my replacement, which was finally accepted by the appointments committee despite some of the traditionalists suggesting that it was premature to put a woman into the role. Your official notice of appointment will follow an in depth scrutiny of your background and capabilities, but that is a formality, you have already been vetted before your current appointment. You should proud of your achievements, you will be the first female in the role in this area and only the second in the country, but you are more than capable of taking it on. Congratulations, we are all proud of you, and I’m sure that you will make a success of the new role, but if ever you need a second opinion please feel free to get in touch with me.”

My life hadn’t worked out as planned, but a freak event had given me a successful career that I doubt I would otherwise have achieved.

The end