A TURN OF THE MOON
Day Seven
by
Jessica Drew

I woke the next morning to hear Lauren calling my name. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head.

“Come on, it’s a beautiful day today,” Lauren said. I felt her tugging on the bed sheets.

“Go away,” I groaned. I wasn’t exactly hungover from the wine last night, but my throat felt dry and my head ached. I heard the blinds being opened and the sunlight poured in, finding me even through the bedsheets. “That’s not fair!” I said, emerging with squinting eyes. As my eyes adjusted, I saw Lauren smiling down at me. She was dressed in her workout clothes, black leggings with a bright pink stripe down the side, and a matching crop top that left her midriff exposed.

“Wow, someone’s keen this morning,” I croaked, wiping blonde hair from where it had stuck to my lips.

“I haven’t done any exercise since… well, you know,” Lauren said, checking herself in the full-length mirror. “I was going to go for a run… if that’s alright with you?” She glanced back at me.

“Of course, you don’t have to ask,” I said, stretching and pushing the covers off of me. I swung my legs round and sat upright, absently running my hands against my thighs. They still felt smooth from having shaved yesterday.

“I won’t be long,” Lauren said. “I just need to burn off some excess energy.”

I nodded, glancing at Lauren’s body. I noticed how toned her bare arms and abdomen looked, even though she hadn’t worked out for a while. She looked good. She finished her mirror check with a quick pose, raising a thigh just a little and placing a hand on her hip. She gave a small nod to herself.

I pushed up from the bed and shuffled over to the vanity table, sitting on the stool. “I’ll get in the shower then,” I said, looking in the mirror and rubbing at my lightly aching forehead. I picked up the hairbrush from the vanity table and ran it through my hair a couple of times, before grabbing a hairclip. I held the clip between my teeth and began to collect up my hair.

“Do you need help with that?” Lauren offered.

I pulled the clip from my mouth, reaching back to slip it through my hair. “I think I can do it myself,” I said.

“Okay honey,” Lauren smiled.

I removed my hands cautiously from the back of my head. My hair seemed to stay in place. Satisfied, I rose from the vanity stool to fetch my robe from the hook on the back of the door. I turned back towards Lauren as I slid my arms through.

For a moment she looked uncomfortable, rubbing her hand against her abdomen.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“It’s nothing,” she said calmly.

I wondered whether the Thai food had disagreed with her, the same way the wine had with me.

Lauren took my place at the vanity table. Picking up the hairbrush, she pulled some of the loose hair free from the brush and dropped it into the waste bin - a mix of tangled brunette and blonde. She brushed her hair back and took a hairband, looping it through and pulling her hair into a ponytail. She glanced back at me through the reflection of the mirror. “Have a nice shower, honey. I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Be careful out there,” I said. I lingered for a moment, tapping my fingers against the wall. I then left the bedroom and headed down the hallway towards the bathroom, the hem of my robe bouncing at my soft thighs.

* * * * *

By the time I’d reached the bathroom, my blonde hair had all but unravelled from the hairclip. I pulled the clip out again and began searching around the bathroom. Opening the drawer next to the sink I found a small hand mirror. I tried bunching up my hair again and slid the hairclip back in. I held up the hand mirror behind me, using my reflection in the bathroom mirror. It looked much messier than when Lauren had done it for me. I pulled the clip out and tried again. This time, I sort of folded my hair up and back on itself. It felt more secure and when I held up the hand mirror, it looked much neater as well. I set the mirror down next to the sink and began to undress.

I showered using the floral-scented body wash, noticing that the bathroom was now well stocked with bottles from Lauren’s shopping trip yesterday. There was extra shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in different scents. My old ‘Deep Blue’ shower gel and all-in-one shampoo sat unused in a corner, outnumbered by all the new colourful bottles.

I turned off the tap, stepped out and patted my body dry with the towel. I slipped back into my robe and then freed my hair from the hairclip. As I ran my hands through it a few times, I noticed a small packet beside the sink. Lauren had bought me my very own lady-razor. I picked it up, a little amused at how I’d got to this point. I set it back down and instead opened the bathroom cabinet. I found a half-used blister packet of paracetamol and popped a couple into my palm, swallowing them down with water from the tap.

I padded back down the hall towards the bedroom, listening out for Lauren but she must have gone by now, as the house was still and quiet.

As I went through into the bedroom, my eyes came to rest on a small package lying on the bed. As I approached, I saw that it was a small black gift-wrapped box, with a card tucked beneath a pink bow. I sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully pulled the card free.

One week. Thought you should have something of your own. Love, L x

I sat there for a moment. Lauren must have picked this up yesterday while she was out. I placed the box on my thighs and carefully untied the pink bow. I lifted the box lid, setting it aside and unfolded the tissue paper within.

I froze for a moment, then reached in, holding up a soft lavender bra by the shoulder straps. Until now I’d only worn basic bras and panties that were plain and unadorned. But this had a little bow at the centre, and the cups had a lavender lace trim to them. I set it to one side, then picked up the matching panties. They were the same design, the lace trim continuing across the waistband, again with a little bow. Not quite lingerie, I told myself, but nicer than what I had been wearing.

I set the panties down next to the bra and read the card again. Had it really been a week already? I wasn’t sure that was anything to celebrate, let alone be deserving of a gift. I breathed in. I guess… it was a little strange, sharing underwear with my wife. I mean, that’s not something anyone does, right? Wife, or otherwise. Maybe Lauren had been thinking the same thing. I ran a hand over the soft fabric of the panties. But these… these were mine.

I stood and untied the cord of my robe, letting it slip from my shoulders. I felt the cool air against my skin as I reached for the panties. Holding them open, I caught sight of the blonde hair between my legs. I hesitated, then pulled them up my legs until they settled into place. I smoothed the fabric with my hands, then ran a finger along the waistband. I could feel the difference against my skin compared to the plain cotton I had previously worn.

I took a breath, then picked up the matching bra. I threaded my arms through, but something didn’t feel right. Removing it again, I adjusted the shoulder straps, before sliding it back on. I leaned forwards and pulled the cups over my breasts, then reached behind to fasten the hooks.

I stepped in front of the full-length mirror. The lavender bra and panties sat flush against my smooth skin. I smoothed out a twisted bra strap and adjusted the cups so they sat evenly. The underwear felt different. Not just softer, but like it had been made to be seen, even if no one else ever did.

I reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, catching my reflection. I hesitantly angled one foot onto tip-toe, lifting my thigh slightly - then placed a hand on my opposite hip, just as I’d seen Lauren do. I held the pose for a second, then dropped it. No, that didn’t feel right. My cheeks warmed. I felt a little foolish.

As I turned away from the mirror and stepped towards the dresser, I found myself more aware of how the softer fabric moved against my body.

I opened the dresser drawer, realising that I was going to have to dress around my underwear today. On top of that, my options were starting to dwindle, as the laundry basket filled once more.

I was comfortable with wearing leggings and didn’t really want to stray from that. I pulled out a dark navy pair that I thought would work. I bunched them up and slid them up my body, pulling them past my hips, and over my lavender panties.

As I checked the fit of the leggings in the mirror, my gaze drifted up to my chest and my lavender bra. I noticed the absence of my wedding ring that I had been wearing on a thin silver chain around my neck. Stepping over to the bedside table, I retrieved it and slipped it back over my head, flicking my hair free from beneath the chain. I straightened it so the ring hung at the centre of my chest, just above my cleavage.

Its weight felt familiar and made me think of Lauren. I pictured her jogging along the side of the road, her ponytail swaying. Reaching up, I held the ring between my fingers. Yesterday, I had worn a low-neck top and Lauren had said how much she liked seeing my wedding ring chain like that.

I went back to the dresser drawer and began to look for something similar. I pulled out a pale pink top with a similar neckline. As I unfolded it and held it up, I saw that it was in fact a vest top, with thin shoulder straps in place of sleeves. I wasn’t sure about having quite that much skin on show. I was about to put it back when I paused. Maybe I could make this work.

I turned and walked over to our shared wardrobe, still in my leggings and bra, my wedding ring chain at my chest. I opened Lauren’s side and was presented with an array of dresses, skirts and blouses in different colours and styles. Leafing through the hangers, I found what I was looking for. A light cardigan. I chose one in a soft grey and pulled it out. My thumb rubbed against the fabric. It felt safe… familiar.

I carefully laid it out on the bed and turned back to the vest top. I threaded my arms through the spaghetti straps and pulled it over my head. As I tugged it down over my chest, I noticed the fabric was a little more clingy than I was used to. I stepped in front of the mirror and saw that it stretched over the curve of my chest before pulling back in at my waist. I smoothed it out at the front and sides, and had to tug on the neckline so that my lavender bra cups didn’t show. I was satisfied that it looked nice in the mirror. I adjusted the chain around my neck. My wedding ring just looked better against my bare skin, rather than lost against coloured fabric.

My gaze drifted to my bare arms and exposed shoulders. The thin straps of my top didn’t hide the straps of my bra, and I wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be like that. I reached up and tried to at least get them to line up.

Finally, I slipped my arms into the grey cardigan and pulled it around my body. It felt soft against my skin and I now didn’t have to worry about my bare shoulders or bra straps. I went over and sat at the vanity table, crossing my legs as I reached for the hairbrush.

* * * * *

After I finished getting ready, I collected up our clothing into the collapsible laundry basket and took it downstairs. As I walked through the rear of the garage towards the utility room, I glanced over at the red convertible and my black SUV parked alongside. I paused for a moment. I found I missed just taking a drive through the countryside. There were plenty of winding roads to explore, threading through scenic valleys and dramatic hillsides. Some days, Lauren and I would just choose a direction and set off, to see where we ended up. Now, those same hills and valleys seemed so far away, almost out of reach.

I nudged the utility room door open with my backside. I set the basket down and began to load the washer with leggings, tops, bras, panties... everything that Lauren and I had worn over the last few days. I kept expecting to come across at least one pair of boxer briefs. I added the detergent powder and fabric conditioner, and selected the cycle for delicates. Straightening, I pulled my grey cardigan tighter around me, feeling the cool air more keenly in the unheated room. I turned to head back to the main living area, the washer humming behind me.

* * * * *

I was just pouring the last of the coffee beans into the percolator when I heard the front door open, followed by footsteps approaching from the hallway. Lauren walked through in her gym leggings, crop top and sneakers, perspiration glistening across her skin.

“Hi, honey!” I said, smiling.

“Hey…” she said a little breathless, heading straight for the fridge to grab a cold bottle of water.

“How was the run?” I asked folding my arms and leaning back against the kitchen counter.

“It felt really good. It helped clear my head a bit.” Lauren said, glugging at the water.

I nodded. Lauren hadn’t actually said that was why she wanted to go for a run.

“I turned back when I reached the underpass. I still don’t like going through there on my own.” Lauren paused, her eyes drifting down as she looked at me. “But hey, look at you!” Lauren’s smile broadened and she stepped towards me, gently guiding my folded arms away from my body. “You picked this out yourself?”

“Hmm? Oh, the clothes… Yeah, I did,” I said, running a hand through my ponytail.

“You did good! Seems you’ve got an eye for colour matching.” She winked playfully at me.

“Ha, it’s a complete accident,” I said looking down at my clothing.

“And I see you found your present,” Lauren stepped closer, reminding me of her height - or my lack of it. She reached and gently tugged the neckline of my pink vest top back into place, where it had slipped on one side, revealing a hint of lavender lace-edged bra. “Do you like them?”

As Lauren turned away, I felt my cheeks flush. “Yes, I… I mean, you didn’t have to get me anything,” I stammered.

“Well, I’m starting to run out of things to lend you,” Lauren said lightly, taking another sip of water.

“Yes, I noticed,” I said. “I put another load of washing on for us, so that should help.”

“You did?” Lauren looked a little surprised. “You’re becoming quite the wifey!” she teased, with a mischievous smile.

“Lauren!” I frowned in annoyance. “You know that’s sexist, right?” I said, half-teasing.

Lauren raised a hand. “Oh, hold on, you don’t get to tell me what’s sexist!”

“I do now!” I said, planting my hands on my hips.

Lauren smiled, hesitating for a moment as she looked at me. “Listen, uh… I need to stretch out before my body cools down too much.” She made her way to the rear porch door, unlocking it and sliding it back. She turned back to me, and for a moment was cast in silhouette by the morning sun behind her. “Do you… want to join me?”

* * * * *

I stood out on the back porch beside Lauren, the water of the lake gently lapping beneath the wooden decking. I closed my eyes and angled my face towards the sun. It felt warmer outside than it did inside. I took a long breath, then exhaled.

I opened my eyes to see Lauren already stretching out her calves, stepping one foot back at a time and pressing her heel into the decking. She then folded a leg behind her, balancing on one foot to stretch out her quad. She looked poised and practiced.

“Okay, why don’t you try some of these with me,” Lauren said, with her hands on her hips. She sensed my hesitation. “It’ll be good for you – help you relax.”

I sighed and patted my thighs. “Okay… I guess it won’t do any harm.”

“Try not to sound too excited!” Lauren teased. “Come on, take off your cardi.”

I started to thread my arms free from my grey cardigan, but hesitated. I only wore a clingy pink vest top underneath, which didn’t have quite enough coverage for me to be comfortable. I glanced across at Lauren. Although we were about the same size now, her arms looked more defined and toned. Likewise, her exposed midriff had a hint of visible musculature. Feeling self-conscious, I pulled my arms free, setting the cardigan down over the back of one of the chairs. Thankfully, the air was warm enough, and Lauren didn’t seem to give me a second look. I took my wedding ring chain off and set it down on the porch table.

Lauren positioned me so that we stood side by side facing out towards the lake. “Okay, let’s just start with a toe-touch,” Lauren said. She slowly bent forwards, lithe at the waist, all the way down until she touched her toes. She held the position for a moment and then rose back up again. “Ready?” she asked. I nodded. Even though I’d never been able to touch my toes, I figured I’d just sort of hang forwards as far as I could. Lauren began to stretch again and I did the same. I let my arms hang down, bending at my waist. My hands lowered, past my knees, to my calves… then, to my surprise, further still, to my ankles and finally – my fingers touched my toes! I held the pose, feeling like my body had folded itself in two. My ponytail hung down past my face, and I was aware of the stretch of my leggings across my backside. I could feel the tension in my hamstrings, shoulders and back.

As we straightened, I cleared my throat, glancing to Lauren at my side.

“That feel okay?” Lauren asked me.

“Yes… it’s just - I’ve never been able to do that before,” I said sheepishly.

“I’m sure you could’ve with enough practice,” Lauren said, reaching back to tighten her own ponytail. “But it will be a little easier for you now that you’re a woman.”

“While I’m a woman…” I said, quietly.

“I… didn’t mean it like that,” Lauren’s face softened. “Look, let’s try another, okay? This is called the Butterfly.” I watched as Lauren sat on the decking, drawing her legs in. She looked up, waiting for me to join her.

“Okay…” I said, sitting down next to her. Lauren brought her legs up closer to her body. She positioned the soles of her feet together and then gently let her knees fall outwards.

“Alright, I definitely can’t do that!” I said, bringing my feet together. I slowly let my knees drop outward, but felt the resistance in my thighs and hips. I hesitated, fearing I might break something!

Lauren shifted position to kneel in front of me. She placed her hands on my bare feet, helping to keep them together.

“Put your hands on your knees and just apply a little pressure,” Lauren said. “Nothing too much. And don’t force anything.”

I nodded and placed my hands on my knees. I pushed very gently and found that my legs lowered further and further, until finally they rested against the decking. I breathed in. My new body was contorting in ways I couldn’t have imagined before! I felt self-conscious in front of Lauren like this, my hands coming back to hover over where my leggings had tightened across my crotch.

“You’re actually pretty flexible,” Lauren said, looking down. “It’s like your body’s been given a fresh start. If you stretch out every day, you’ll be able to maintain it.”

I shifted my legs back up and hugged my knees protectively. I wasn’t sure I needed to maintain anything right now. I was about to get up when Lauren went straight into the next position.

“Okay, hands and knees now,” she said getting into position beside me.

"What are you doing now?" I sighed reluctantly.

“This is called Cat-Cow,” she began.

“Well, which one am I?” I asked with a half-smile

“You get to be both!” Lauren smiled. I watched as she arched her back, held it for a second, then dipped downwards.

“A cat… and a cow. Right,” I said, as I got onto my hands and knees beside her. Taking a deep breath, I began to arch my back up, holding it, then letting it drop.

“Bring your head up on the ‘cow’ part,” Lauren said.

I began to fall into a rhythm. Up… hold… down… up… I glanced over at Lauren as she did the same. I noticed how her hips and backside lifted when she dipped her back. Is that how I looked right now?

I felt the shift in weight through my own hips as I moved. The moment I noticed it, the rhythm faltered - self-consciousness crept in and my body tightened against itself. I stopped and straightened, kneeling upright.

“That’s… probably enough for now,” Lauren said, looking at me. “Let’s just finish up. Just sit and breathe with me for a moment.”

We sat cross-legged on the decking, looking out over the lake, the waters shimmering. I could see the house in the distance on the opposite bank. Thankfully there was no construction work going on this morning.

“Close your eyes,” Lauren began. “Breathe in slowly... hold for three seconds... one... two... three... and breathe out.”

I exhaled slowly through my mouth. We continued, breathing together, the lake still and quiet around us. At first, I was aware of the breeze in my hair and against my bare arms. I could feel my chest rising and falling with each breath. Slowly, my focus drifted outward – to the water of the lake and the birds singing in the trees.

* * * * *

After stretching on the porch, Lauren went to get showered and changed, while I got started on breakfast. As I moved about the kitchen, I bent to open cupboards, and stretched to reach the higher shelves. It all felt just a tiny bit easier. Like I really had loosened up a bit.

Slipping my apron over my head, I reached around to tie the cord in a bow about my waist. I placed a pan on the stove, added a little butter, then cracked a few eggs into a bowl. As I began to whisk, I hummed softly to myself. I reached across the counter to flick on the radio. I paused, realising I hadn’t even thought twice about how I’d raised up onto my tip-toes to reach it. I had just... adjusted.

I hummed along to the radio now, as I stirred the eggs with a spatula, my voice lifting every now and then. “... for you, the sun will be shining....” I turned down the heat and added a pinch of salt from a bowl. “When I’m with you, it’s alright, I know it’s right...”

“Your voice... it’s beautiful,” Lauren said. I looked up surprised to see her leaning over the handrail of the curving staircase, her chin resting on her hand.

I gave a flicker of a smile and fiddled with my wedding ring chain. I went back to preparing the breakfast, grabbing some plates for us. I kept humming softly.

Lauren came the rest of the way downstairs. She wore a fitted white t-shirt with an olive-green skirt that ended at her knees. It was casual, but put together, and very ‘Lauren’.

We sat at the breakfast bar, side by side on the high stools as we began to eat.

“Mmm, these are nice and soft,” she said, popping her fork into her mouth. I smiled, figuring she’d want something a little more filling after her run. She glanced across at me. “Did you... want to do anything today? I thought we could take a walk maybe... along the lake trail.”

“No,” I said a little too quickly. “I mean... thanks for asking. But I’m fine here... really.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be cooped up in here,” Lauren said, placing her hand on my arm. “There are things we could do, but only if you felt like it... It’s fine though. I’ll, uh... do a bit of work instead.”

“Sorry...” I said, staring down at my plate.

We finished our breakfast and Lauren helped me hang up the laundry, though the air between us was a little quiet. “I’ll go to the office and catch up on some emails, then I’ll come back through,” Lauren said, pausing for a moment. “I also want to do a bit more digging with where we stand legally with all this.”

“Lauren,” I said, rubbing at my shoulder. “Maybe we shouldn’t rock the boat just yet. It’ll only be a few more days and we’ll hear back from Rourke, and then... well, maybe we could look at it after.”

“I know.” Lauren smiled briefly. “It just doesn’t hurt to prepare now.”

I took a breath and nodded. I watched as Lauren disappeared down the hallway towards her office, her olive skirt swaying at her knees.

I was alone.

Again.

I stood there for a moment, listening to the quiet. Maybe she just needed a bit of time out again. I walked aimlessly around the living area, staring up at the high ceilings. Lauren hadn’t really let on about how she’d been feeling about all of this. I thought back to the other day when I’d overheard her on the phone to her friend Emma. She’d seemed pretty upset then. But then, had I actually, properly asked her? She’d said she didn’t want me to spiral again. That she wanted to keep us moving forward. I felt a shiver pass through me. I felt... guilty. Guilty for putting this on her... on us. Guilty for needing her so much. I pulled my cardigan tighter, the house feeling empty and cold. I walked over to the broad, curving staircase, wondering whether to go up and lie down for a bit. I paused, realising my eyes were starting to moisten. I wiped them quickly, feeling a little foolish. I gazed back towards the hallway that led to the office.

I did need her though, didn’t I?

I exhaled and turned toward the hallway. My bare feet echoed against the smooth floor as I walked through and approached the door to Lauren’s office. I tapped softly.

“Come in,” Lauren’s voice replied.

I pushed open the door. Lauren was sat at her desk with her laptop open, sunlight filtering through the blind beside her. She swivelled in her chair and slipped her glasses off. “Hey honey, what is it?”

“Hey... “ I began, looking down at my feet for a moment. “About that walk...”

* * * * *

Shortly after, I found myself sitting on the sofa as Lauren handed me a pair of white sneakers. “Here, try these,” she said.

“Thanks,” I replied, taking them. As I placed the shoes down on the floor next to me, I noticed a pair of balled up socks in one of the shoes. I unrolled them, finding they were ankle-length to wear with the shoes. They looked tiny, but sure enough they slipped over my small feet with ease. The sneakers looked to be the same size as the black flats I had worn the other day.

Lauren sat across from me to put her own sneakers on. They were the same pair she had run in earlier - a little newer than my borrowed pair, and all white, whereas mine had pink soles and highlights. Well, at least they matched my top.

I slipped into the shoes and tied the laces. Standing up, I smoothed out the hem of my cardigan. Lauren finished tying her own shoes, then got up, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Hey... you sure you want to do this?” she asked.

“Yeah... yeah I do,” I said, looking up at her.

“It’s a weekday,” she said. “It’ll be nice and quiet on the lake-trail. We won’t see anyone.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. We made our way to the front door. Lauren grabbed her keys and her phone, dropping them into her purse. She slipped the strap across her body, letting it hang at her hip, then opened the door. I hesitated before stepping out. The driveway rose before us. Yesterday I’d felt so proud of myself for making it out the door to the mailbox. Now, it seemed a little silly. Maybe it was different because Lauren was with me.

“Come on,” Lauren smiled, closing the door behind her.

We walked around the side of the house, cutting across the grass, to where there was an opening in the hedge that led down towards the lake-trail. The trees rustled gently above us, the soft ground beneath us giving way to stone and gravel as we joined the short path that led down to the main trail. The path was sheltered by overhanging trees, making a natural tunnel. We walked single file, with Lauren ahead of me. She looked back over her shoulder as she walked.

“We don’t have to go all the way round, we’ll just go as far as you feel comfortable,” she said.

“Alright,” I smiled tentatively back.

We emerged from the trees to a stunning view. The lake stretched before us, the water twinkling in the sunlight. Pillowy clouds drifted across the blue sky above, and the grey mountains could be seen on the horizon. I stood there taking it all in. We’d walked this trail many times since we’d moved here, but today it felt like the first time all over again. My ponytail lifted gently in the breeze.

“It’s good for the soul, isn’t it?” Lauren said gazing off, her hands on her hips.

“Yeah... it is,” I said. My chest rose as I breathed in the fresh air. I found myself reflecting on her choice of words. The soul. That part of me within, unchanged.

We continued walking. It was quiet just as Lauren had promised, our sneakers crunching against the loose ground. Birds called to each other from the trees to our left while the lake lapped at the shore on our right. The sun was directly above us now and I began to feel a little too warm. I glanced around, then slipped my cardigan off to carry it instead. I reached up, pulling the thin strap of my pink vest top back into place from where it had slipped from my shoulder.

The trail opened out into a long stretch along the northern side of the lake where we were able to walk comfortably side-by-side again. I stopped suddenly when I saw a figure coming towards us. As they got nearer I saw it was a woman jogging towards us. Lauren placed a hand on the small of my back.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly.

We kept walking. The woman was wearing gym leggings with a loose top, sneakers and a baseball cap. She had earbuds in, listening to music as she ran. Her eyes glanced at us. “Hi!” she said cheerily as she passed. And then she was gone.

I exhaled, not realising I had been holding my breath. I looked at Lauren.

“See? No-one sees anything out of the ordinary,” she said.

“I know... that’s what’s so strange about it,” I replied, aware of the softness in my voice. “Everything feels so different to me, but not to anyone else.”

Lauren’s expression tightened for a second.

“Sorry... I didn’t mean for you,” I added quickly.

We walked a little further on to where there was a bench set just back from the trail. We sat together, looking out to the lake. Lauren was silent and I watched her face as she gazed out.

“Lauren... Are you okay?” I asked.

She kept staring ahead for a second, before turning to look at me. Her smile seemed to spring out of nowhere. “Well, it’s a beautiful day and I get to spend it with you, so...” She trailed off.

“Hmm,” I nodded, keeping my gaze on her for a moment.

“Actually, there was one thing I was wondering,” Lauren said. “I thought it might help us.”

“What is it?”

Lauren took a breath, her gaze drifting for a moment. “What would you think to Emma coming over tomorrow?”

“Emma?” I repeated. It was one thing for Lauren to have told Emma about me. But the thought of her actually coming over? Of seeing me like this?

“Yes,” Lauren said, picking at her nails. “I mean, you know her, she’s pretty open-minded.”

“Open-minded?” I said, a little bewildered. “You make it sound like I’ve… come out, or something.”

“I just mean, she won’t leap to any judgments,” Lauren said, looking at me.

I turned my face away, gazing back down the length of the lake towards our house. It looked still and peaceful, and for a moment I wanted to be back inside, hidden away. Then it came to me. I’d asked her how she felt. This was her telling me what she needed. Just as I was having to lean on Lauren for so much - she needed that someone herself. Again, I felt a pang of guilt in the pit of my stomach.

“So… what does she make of all this?” I asked, turning back to face her.

“Well, she wanted to know that you were okay,” Lauren said. “If there was anything she could do to help.”

I breathed in. “Well, if she’s got any spare pairs of leggings she doesn’t want…” I smiled.

Lauren laughed and nudged me with her elbow.

“Alright…” I said at last. “You two better not gang up on me though. I get enough teasing from you!”

“I promise it won’t be like that,” Lauren said. She studied my face for a moment. “Alright, I’ll call her when we get back.” She rose to her feet and held out her hand to me. “Come on, let’s keep going.” I took her hand and rose to my feet. Rather than letting go, Lauren let her palm slip into mine. She smiled warmly and we continued walking, holding hands. Even though our hands were now of an even size, it felt reassuringly familiar. I smiled back as we continued along the trail.

Before long we reached a sharp bend where the path dipped behind a rocky outcrop. As we turned off, we suddenly came across a man. I felt Lauren quickly release my hand.

“Afternoon ladies!” he said. He was a middle-aged man, wearing walking boots and pants, with a loose-fitting shirt. For a brief moment, I felt like looking behind me to see who he was referring to. But it was us of course. Ladies. It felt a bit surreal. On the spot, I had been quickly packaged up and labelled with Lauren.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” Lauren said politely.

“Oh, it’s glorious,” he smiled. “Well, enjoy your walk. Come on Pippa!”

He had a dog with him, off lead. It padded up to me, giving a quick sniff and a wag of its tail before continuing on. I waited until the man was out of earshot.

“I thought you said we wouldn’t see anyone!” I said lightheartedly.

“We’ve seen two people,” Lauren said, smiling.

“Two people and a dog!”

We carried on a little further. The tree line started to recede and open out to grass and wildflowers. Reaching a gate at the end of the path, we stopped. We now had a clear view across to the other house on the eastern shore of the lake.

Lauren glanced over at me, pausing for a moment. She then took a few eps back and began to rummage in her purse. “This would make for a great photo,” she said, finding her phone.

“Lauren... I’m not sure I want to... not like this,” I said, feeling awkward.

“Listen, after this week, we might never see you like this again. And besides, you look great, trust me,” she said, aiming the phone up. “Just put your hand resting on the gate.”

“I, uh... okay, fine.” I shook my head and placed my arm up on the gate. I didn’t really know what to do with my other arm, so let it just hang loose at my side.

Lauren snapped the photo and checked it afterwards, looking satisfied. She slipped the phone back into her purse and walked back over to me.

“Happy now?” I asked.

“Yes!” Lauren smiled and nodded. We turned, resting our elbows on the gate to look over towards the house.

“It looks nice,” I said. “I like the upper balcony they’ve got.”

“Yeah, but they won’t get the morning sun like we do,” Lauren said with a half-smile.

“I wonder when it’ll be ready to move into. It looks like they just need to finish the porch and they’ll be done.”

“I’ll be glad when it is. I’ve had quite enough of their banging and drilling!”

We both turned our heads at the sound of an engine growing steadily louder. We then caught sight of a pale blue truck driving across towards the house. I recognised it as belonging to the two construction guys we’d spotted from our back porch.

“Looks like I spoke too soon,” Lauren said, rolling her eyes.

I found I’d taken a step backwards without realising it. “I think I’d like to head back now,” I said quietly.

“Yeah, good idea, let’s go before it gets too noisy again,” Lauren agreed.

We turned around and began to walk back along the trail the way we came. In the distance behind us we could hear the sound of voices and the clattering of wooden boards.

* * * * *

The walk back was a little quieter than before. The clouds had drifted in front of the sun and I found I had to put my cardigan back on.

At last we found ourselves back where we started, walking up the side path towards the front of the house. Lauren opened the door to the lake-house and we stepped through. I slipped my sneakers off my feet while Lauren hung up her purse.

“Don’t tell me you’re out of breath,” Lauren smiled, looking at me.

“Hey, it’s the most exercise I’ve had since... before.” As we walked back through to the main living area, I came to realise that I seemed to be marking time by my transformation. All the things I’d not done since before the accident. Gone outside, gone for a walk, eaten eggs... For everything, there seemed to be a new first time.

Lauren walked through into the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing us each a chilled bottle of water. “You’ll be glad you stretched out now if you’re that unfit!” she teased, handing me a bottle. “You could always try doing a gentle bit of exercise one day, keep things moving.”

“Hmm, maybe,” I said, unscrewing the cap and taking a glug of water. I set the bottle down on the kitchen counter. “I need to use the bathroom,” I said, pausing for a moment. “I was thinking, I might run a bath.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll finish up my work while you take a soak.” Lauren paused. “And... are you sure it’s okay to invite Emma over tomorrow?”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, she can come over.”

Lauren’s shoulders eased slightly. “Great, I’ll text her now,” she said with a small smile. As I turned towards the staircase, she added, “Oh, and try out the rose bath salts!”

* * * * *

As I sat there, peeing, I leaned forwards a little to tug my leggings down and off my feet. I figured it wasn’t worth shimmying back into them when I’d only have to take them off again. I wiped, then rose from the seat, pulling my lavender panties back into place. I turned and flushed. The toilet seat remained down. At the moment, it hardly seemed worth having one that moved up and down.

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, I reached down to put the plug in. I turned the taps, holding a hand under the water to check the temperature. I then reached for the small jar of bath salts and opened it, bringing it to my nose. The fragrant aroma filled my nostrils. I tipped some into the tub, unsure of how much to use. After a moment, I added a little more.

I stood and lifted my wedding ring chain off, setting it down on the side next to the sink. I crossed my arms, grasped the hem of my pink vest top and pulled it off in a smooth motion. Carefully I folded it, setting it down, along with my leggings. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, seeing my breasts supported by the lavender bra. I reached round and unhooked it. I breathed out as the tension around my middle eased. My breasts bobbed a little as I slid my arms free. I turned slightly as I looked in the mirror, observing them. I was always more aware of them just after removing my bra - of their movement, their weight.

I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my panties and drew them down, stepping out of them. I collected up my underwear, feeling the soft fabric with my thumb. It still felt strange to think that these were mine. I placed them gently down atop my clothing.

The hand mirror that I’d used this morning still sat next to the sink, along with my hairclip. I juggled both, managing to pin my hair up on the first attempt.

I glanced down at my naked body, past my breasts, to my narrow waist and the flared curve of my hips. And then, to the small patch of blonde hair nestled between my thighs. My thoughts ran back to last night. When, emboldened by a couple of glasses of wine, I had dared to touch myself down there. It had been brief, but it had been the first time that wasn’t just part of a bathroom routine.

I still held the hand mirror. I looked around a little guiltily, then stepped over to the bathroom door. I slowly slid the bolt across, locking myself in.

I sat back down onto the edge of the bathtub, the porcelain feeling colder against my bare backside. Tentatively, I parted my thighs. The water from the taps seemed to roar into the tub behind me.

I brought the hand mirror down – adjusting, angling both the mirror and my hips until I could see. My breath caught in my throat as my mind named it - the word pushing its way into my consciousness.

I reached down with my free hand, tracing the soft outer folds. I gently parted them with one hand, the mirror shaking in my other. I was finally able to see the pinkness of my inner folds surrounding the opening to my... vagina. My heartbeat hammered in my ear, seeming to drown out even the sound of the bath water. I extended a finger, letting it trace the delicate folds, finding them more sensitive than I expected. As I brushed a little higher, the sensation was suddenly sharper and I pulled my hand back.

I lowered the mirror and closed my thighs, my chest rising and falling with my breathing. For a moment I stared blankly at the bathroom door, trying to steady myself. Even though I knew the door was locked, I got up to check it again.

* * * * *

I settled my body down into the bath, letting the cloudy, perfumed water envelop me. I slid down low so that my shoulders were covered, with only my knees protruding - everything hidden from view once more. I let the warmth soak into me and closed my eyes. I was glad I had finally looked. But at the same time... I wasn’t. Until now, it had been easier just to imagine I was some smooth, sexless, Barbie doll down there. But there was something there. Undeniably real, and responsive.

My mind wandered to Doctor Rourke’s visit a couple of days ago - to the invasive questionnaire he had produced, full of intimate questions. Details that I didn’t even understand myself yet. We had another five days to go until he would return with an update, and hopefully a cure.

I began to imagine myself, as a man again. Lauren and I going out for a celebratory meal. I’d look at her, we’d shake our heads and I’d say “can you really believe that happened?”

Then my mind began to play tricks on me. What if I never turned back? I imagined Lauren telling me she didn’t love me any more like this. She’d divorce me. I’d be left with no-one to turn to and nowhere to go...

My eyes opened and the bath water sloshed a little as I repositioned, my breasts breaking the surface of the water for a moment.

I just needed to... stop thinking.

I closed my eyes again, remembering the breathing that Lauren and I had practiced out on the porch this morning. I took a deep breath and held it in, counting to myself.

One... two... three...

I exhaled through my mouth. I repeated the exercise, focusing my mind outwards, trying to think of all the things I could hear. The sound of my breathing. The tap dripping into the tub by my feet. The whir of the extractor fan. The hum of the hot water tank.

One... two... three...

* * * * *

The rest of the day passed quietly. Lauren worked a little longer, pausing for lunch. I roamed the house in my robe and pyjamas. That evening we sat on the sofa and tried watching a series that we’d been following on TV. We’d started it before the accident. Before my womanhood. Before my... vagina. I cursed myself. Why wouldn’t my mind just shut up and let me enjoy something.

After one too many “who’s that?” and “what’s she doing?” from me, Lauren reached for the remote and flicked the TV off.

“Sorry,” I said. “It’s just hard to concentrate sometimes.”

“It’s okay honey, I understand,” Lauren said. She started scrolling through her phone. “Oh, do you want to see that picture I took of you?” she said, angling her phone screen towards me.

“Uh, no... I’m okay thanks,” I said, gazing away. There was a moment of silence.

“Listen, I might get an early night,” Lauren said at last. She rose to her feet, stretching and yawning.

“It’s all that exercising,” I smiled.

“Hmph, yeah,” she smiled back. “Do you want to come up?”

“I uh... I might just stay up a little longer,” I said.

“Are you okay, though?” Lauren asked placing a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m okay. I promise.” I reached up, placing my hand over hers.

“Alright. Don’t stay up too late.” Lauren leaned over and planted a kiss on the top of my head. Her hand drifted from my shoulder.

I watched as Lauren walked across the living area, her olive-green skirt swaying gently against her legs. As she reached the stairs, she glanced back giving a little wave. “’Night. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I replied, the words unexpectedly making my voice waver.

I sat in silence for a moment, running my fingers over my wedding ring where it hung around my neck. Rising to my feet, I padded barefoot to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of milk and carried it out to the rear porch. I slid the outer door shut behind me. It was a little too cold now to stay out, especially in just my robe and pyjamas, but I just wanted a bit of fresh air.

I felt the breeze against my skin and I reached up to brush hair out of my face. I sipped at my milk, gazing out into the darkness.

Here I was, at the end of one whole week spent as a woman. It felt like there should be something profound I’d learned about myself. That I’d have some amazing insight into the human condition. Instead I felt... untethered. Adrift.

As I looked up, I saw the Moon was hidden behind clouds, struggling to cast its light down onto the lake. Its reflection in the water was faint and indistinct.

* * * * *