A TURN OF THE MOON
Day Twelve
by
Jessica Drew

The shower roared, the warm water hitting my back as I finished massaging the conditioner into my blonde hair. It felt good to finally wash it after our trip out yesterday. A combination of the wind on the hill and driving with the roof down had left it dry and frizzy. I let the conditioner sit and raised my left leg, beginning to apply some shaving cream.

As I swept my pink-handled razor up my leg, I thought back to yesterday. Lauren and I had made a pact. We were going to take on Axis for what they did to me. To us. I’d been hesitant to provoke them in the days immediately following the incident, but now it seemed as though we had nothing left to lose. Except maybe our money.

I rinsed the razor under the water and switched legs. I couldn’t even imagine how we’d be able to take on a big biotech pharma like Axis. Hopefully that would all start to become clearer after today.

In the car on the way home from the picnic, we’d formed the beginnings of a plan. First we’d meet with Emma, tell her what we needed, then she could talk to her cousin Rachel who worked for a law firm in the city. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

I smeared a little shaving cream under my arms, and around the edges of my mound, where a few traces of blonde stubble had started to come back through. I quickly whisked them away.

* * * * *

I walked back through into the empty bedroom in my bath towel, with a smaller towel wrapped around my hair. Lauren had got ready early to hop on a work call, so I had a bit of time to myself. I held the knot in my towel and sat on the edge of the bed. Shuffling back, I swung my legs round and lay back, propped up by the pillows.

I grabbed my phone from my bedside table, tapping in our wedding date to unlock it. My finger hovered over the screen for a moment, before tapping the ‘Mail’ icon. I ignored most of it — newsletters from online stores I’d used. The latest men’s shirts that were in stock now that summer was upon us. My gaze drifted over to the wardrobe. One side was Lauren’s, filled with her skirts, blouses and dresses. The other side had my shirts and pants, a few bought in the end of season sales that I hadn’t even got around to wearing yet. I took a breath, looking back down at my phone. I scrolled further, my heart suddenly skipping a beat as I came across a message from an Axis Laboratories email address.

It was my termination letter.

I breathed out slowly, beginning to scan through it. I didn’t want to emotionally grapple with it too deeply right now. It was a standard template — formal and impersonal. It did, however, cite the reason for the termination, the jargon leaping out at me from the screen.

Failure to comply with reporting obligations… Concerns over procedural negligence…

It was the same thing Shaw had told us the other day. I didn’t know what to make of it, or if they could even legally cut me off like that. All I knew was that I needed to keep the email.

I created a folder called ‘Legal Stuff’ and slid the message across.

I set the phone down on the side and got back up, untying the knot in my towel and letting it fall to my feet. I grabbed my moisturiser cream, pouring a generous amount into my hand. Raising one leg up on the edge of the bed, I began to apply in circular motions, the movement causing my bare breasts to wobble a little. I let out a breath. It was a small pleasure to rub the moisturiser into freshly shaved legs. I allowed myself to enjoy it.

I finished moisturising my body and face, nearly emptying yet another tube. I walked over to the dresser and opened the underwear drawers. “Oh, great!” I said to myself quietly, as I reached in and pulled out my freshly laundered lavender panties and bra. They had been a sort of anniversary gift from Lauren. My 'one-week' anniversary of living as a woman. I wondered how many more anniversaries I was going to have. I had nearly reached two weeks, though it felt much longer.

I stepped into the lavender panties, drawing them up my smooth, shaved legs. They sat flush against my body, and I ran a finger along the leg openings at the front and back. Slipping my arms through the straps of the bra, I scooped my breasts and let them settle in the cups, then clasped it at my back.

I moved over to the full-length mirror, adjusting my breasts to even everything out. I turned to the side, holding a hand against my stomach, then turned a little more, checking the rear view in the mirror. I saw how the fabric followed the outward curve of my backside. I had forgotten how soft my lavender set felt, plus the lace trim along the edges looked pretty. I breathed in, my chest swelling in the bra.

I slid the underwear drawers closed and opened one of the larger ones, looking for some leggings to wear. My eyes were drawn to a light grey pair. I pulled them out and sat on the edge of the bed, bunching them up and working them up my legs. As I rose, I pulled them high on my waist. The figure-hugging fabric had begun to feel familiar now — comforting. Nothing pinched, or sat awkwardly — they just dutifully followed every sloping outer and inner curve of my lower body. The lighter colour served to highlight my contours a little more than the darker leggings I had tended to wear.

I pulled the towel free from my hair, rubbing through its length a few more times. Opening the next drawer, I began to leaf through for a top I could wear. I found a light pink t-shirt that would sit nicely over my lavender bra. Setting the towel aside, I picked it out and slid my arms through. I pulled it over my head and tugged the top down over my chest, smoothing the hem at my waist.

I checked my appearance in the mirror again, feeling satisfied with my choice. I reached up to adjust how the top sat against my shoulders. It showed a hint of my cleavage — which would be fine, providing I didn’t have boys like that deli worker ogling at me again.

Uh, why were there so many more things to think about now?

I picked up my wedding ring necklace and swept my blonde hair forwards, carefully fastening it behind my neck.

* * * * *

I padded barefoot down the stairs, my hand gliding against the rail. I looked over to the kitchen, seeing Lauren at the basin, washing out her coffee mug.

“Oh, hey — I thought you’d still be on your call,” I said, as I walked through. Lauren wore a mint-green summer dress that ended just above her knee. It had a flattering scooped neckline with a cord string hanging at its front. “I like this on you.” I smiled and felt the fabric of her sleeve.

“Thank you, honey. It’s going to be another warm one today.” She glanced down at my leggings, seeming like she was about to say something. Instead, she shook out her clean mug and placed it upside down on the rack. “So, I’ve got some news,” Lauren said, turning around. She seemed unable to keep herself from grinning.

“What is it?” I asked impatiently.

“Well, the call I just had… it was with Riverside. They want me to pitch to them.”

“Oh my god Lauren, that’s incredible!” I said, launching myself at her and hugging her tight.

“Oof — steady on! It doesn’t mean I’ve won the contract yet,” she said. She clasped my shoulders, gently prising me off her.

“No, but it’s the next step, and once they see how amazing you are, they won’t be able to say no!” I beamed at her.

“I hope so,” Lauren said, gazing off as she got lost in her own thoughts. “If this came through, it could really be the turning point for the business, you know? And we… kind of need the money… especially if we’re going to need to pay for a lawyer.”

I hung my head, running a hand through my soft blonde hair. I could feel the weight of it... of what we had decided to do.

“Hey," Lauren said looking down, trying to catch my eye. "They won't know who they’re messing with!” She smiled, using a finger to sweep a stray hair from my forehead.

I nodded and took a breath. "I’m really pleased for you though, Lauren. So when is it? Is it like an online thing?”

“No, it’s in person,” Lauren said chewing her bottom lip as she thought about it. “I’d have to go into the city for it. They gave me some dates to choose from... but I was thinking of doing it sooner rather than later. You know, before things get too busy for us.” She looked at me for a moment, as if seeking permission.

“Yes, that makes sense.” I said, nodding. I went over to fetch a mug down from one of the cupboards.

“So... would it be okay if I did it on Wednesday?” Lauren said from behind me, sounding a little reticent.

“Wait... what day is it today?” I set my mug down on the counter and grabbed the coffee pot, beginning to pour.

“It’s Monday,” Lauren smiled.

“Oh... well does that give you enough time?” I asked. I turned back to face her, cradling the warm mug in my hands. I brought it to my nose and inhaled the strong aroma.

“Yeah, it’s just talking through the stuff I’ve already submitted. Plus, I’d like to get it done while the bid is still fresh.” Lauren said. “Are you sure it’s okay? I’d be out for most of the day, with the travel and everything.”

“Lauren, it’s okay... really,” I said, blinking. “Anyway, maybe I’ve got my own plans.”

“Have you?!” Lauren asked, taking the bait.

“Of course I haven’t!” I laughed. “Look, there’s no point stalling your career.”

Lauren gazed down at the floor for a moment. “You know, you’ll always take priority. Any of the legal stuff we need to do, that comes first. Even if you just… need me — I’ll drop everything.”

“I know,” I said quietly. I blew at my coffee and took a small sip. “So what time are we meeting Emma?”

Lauren took a deep breath. “I said we’d meet her at Gabriella’s at twelve-thirty. She’s working today, so it’ll have to be during her lunch break.”

I nodded and took another sip. The coffee tasted good today, if a little different. It was like I could taste every subtle note.

“Don’t drink too much of that, honey. You know Gabriella makes it strong — you’ll be climbing the walls!” Lauren said, half-seriously. “I’m going to go up and do my make-up. Want to keep me company?”

“Sure,” I said. We walked over to the staircase together. I found myself watching how Lauren’s dress bounced lightly at her thighs as I followed her up.

* * * * *

Lauren made her way over to the bedroom blinds, feeding the thin chain through her fingers. The wooden slats rose upwards and the sunlight spilled through into the room. I stepped beside her and we gazed across the lake. It seemed like it was made of shimmering gold under the morning sun.

“I’m not sure how I’ll feel when someone actually moves in over there,” I said looking across at the house on the opposite side of the lake.

“What do you mean?” Lauren asked. She turned from the window and walked over to stand in front of the full-length mirror.

“It just feels like we’re more exposed now,” I said, reaching up to rub at my bare upper arms. “Like… they’ll be watching us.”

“Well, they’d need a telescope!” Lauren laughed and then shrugged her shoulders. “I guess it’s possible!” She checked her hair in the mirror. It hung in loose, styled waves across her shoulders. She always did her hair nice. I watched as she smoothed out her dress, then turned, checking over her shoulder at how it sat from behind.

We slipped past each other — Lauren went over to sit at the vanity while I took her place in front of the mirror. We were still learning how to juggle the space of the bedroom between us.

I ran my fingers through my blonde hair. I hadn’t finished brushing it through yet, so it was still a bit wild and wispy from the hairdryer. My gaze drifted lower, noticing that the crotch of my light-grey leggings seemed to be hanging a little too low. I lifted the hem of my sage-green top and tugged on the waistband of the leggings. The grey fabric pulled tighter against my hips and flat against the inward curve of my crotch. I stared for a moment. With the leggings pulled up, I could now see a faint outline of my panties beneath. How had I not noticed that before? I turned around and looked over my shoulder into the mirror. The line of my panties was even more prominent against my backside, the lace edging showing through the thin fabric.

“Uh!” I gave a shrill huff of annoyance.

“What is it, honey?” Lauren asked, looking back at me from the vanity stool.

“Why does everything have to be so difficult!” I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my leggings and began to shimmy them down over my hips. I then sat on the edge of the bed and pulled them off, flinging them into the corner of the room.

“Hey, hey! What are you doing?” Lauren slid around on the stool to face me.

“You need to tell me when I’m showing my underwear to the whole world!” I said, my voice carrying more annoyance than I realised.

“Not this again…” Lauren sighed.

“You know we’re going out — plus Emma will have a field day with this!” I sat there in just my top and panties, shooting daggers at Lauren.

“Don’t take it out on me!” Lauren said, looking surprised to be even having this conversation. “Look, there’s an easy way to fix this.” Rising from the stool, she went over to the dresser and opened the panty drawer. She looked through for a moment, pulling out a plain nude-coloured pair. She handed them to me.

I sighed and held them up. I turned them round, my eyes widening. “A thong?” I said, surprised. I stared at them, seeing how they tapered at the rear into a thin sliver of fabric. “I… I’m not wearing this!” I threw them back at her.

“Will you stop throwing my clothes around!” Lauren said, only just catching them in time. “Look, just wear a plain pair of panties at least, it’s the lace on your lavender ones that’s the problem.” She folded the nude thong and placed it back in the drawer.

“I… I wanted to wear these ones,” I said quietly, looking down at my lap. I felt my cheeks warm a little.

“Then wear something loose over the top,” Lauren said, looking at me. “You could wear one of my skirts?”

“Not a skirt,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Then change your underwear!” Lauren said, a little forcefully. She sounded increasingly exasperated now.

“Uh... fine. I’ll wear a stupid skirt then!” I threw up my hands in defeat.

Lauren stared at me for a moment, looking surprised by my answer. “Really?”

I shot her another look.

“Right… okay,” Lauren said, lowering her palms as if to centre herself. She walked over to the wardrobe, opening her side. I saw that her skirts and dresses were all neatly arranged by colour on the hangers. Some of the more expensive dresses had plastic sheaths to protect them.

I folded my arms, watching as she pulled out a light blue skirt, holding it by the hanger and laying it onto the bed.

“Or… this,” she said, selecting another. This looked to be the same sort of length but in cream, with some lace detailing around the hem.

“I’ll try that one…” I mumbled quietly.

“I can’t hear you,” Lauren said loudly, purposely teasing me.

“I’ll try the cream one,” I said, pointing.

Lauren unclipped the skirt from the hanger and handed it to me. For more than a week I'd worn nothing but leggings. It had become almost normal to reach for a pair each morning. Now I was about to take another leap into the great unknown. My fingers ran along the lace edging of the skirt, my heartbeat starting to pound. It felt too lightweight, like it wasn't substantial enough.

Lauren looked down, watching me. “There’s a zip at the—“

“I know, I can manage,” I said sharply.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it,” Lauren said, shaking her head. She smoothed her mint dress and sat back down at the vanity.

I sighed and found the zipper on the cream skirt, pulling it down. I glanced back over my shoulder. Lauren was now occupied with sorting through her makeup. I held the skirt out in front of me and stepped my bare feet into it. I began to slide it up my calves, rising to my feet to pull it up further. The fabric slid against my freshly shaved legs, tickling them a little. I held the skirt at my waist and began to pull the zipper up, but it seemed like it was going to be too small for me. I tugged a little more, but couldn’t get it closed.

“Pull it up a little higher, honey,” Lauren said from behind me. I looked over my shoulder. She gave me a quick nod and a smile from the reflection of the mirror, then returned to dabbing her face with a small sponge.

I felt myself blush, a little annoyed for needing her help. I pulled the waistband of the skirt higher, so that it cleared my wider hips and reached the narrowest part of my waist. I slid the zip all the way up and fastened the hook and eyelet at the top.

I stepped in front of the mirror, feeling the brush of the skirt against my thighs. The hem flared out at my knees, leaving the lower half of my legs bare. A-line, I thought to myself, remembering the word for it.

I smoothed my top back down over the skirt, though it seemed to bunch up a little and my proportions looked… a little off somehow. Maybe I was supposed to tuck it in. I looked over at Lauren, wondering whether to ask her, but she was leaning close to the mirror now and concentrating on her eye makeup. I decided to trust my own instincts. I tucked my top into the waistband of the skirt, working my fingers around the front, sides and rear.

That looks better. I smoothed my hands over my hips and across my backside. I turned around, the skirt fanning a little. Looking over my shoulder at the rear view in the mirror, I could see how the skirt draped over the outer curve of my backside... but no panty-line. I sighed in relief.

“You look lovely,” Lauren said at last, looking back at me.

“Thanks,” I said, softly. “Sorry about before… it’s just…”

“I know.”

I nodded. We didn’t need to say anymore.

“So how does it feel?” she asked. I noticed her eyeshadow and mascara. Although it was subtle her eyes now looked more defined and vibrant.

“I feel like I'm not wearing anything... like I’m just stood in my underwear,” I said, looking down and sweeping my hands across the cream skirt to remind myself I was still wearing it. “Maybe I should change… I don’t think I want to feel this exposed while we’re out.”

“It’s fine. The skirt’s a good length, so you’re not going to be flashing anyone,” Lauren teased as she picked up a tube of lipgloss. She unscrewed the cap and ran it across her lips.

“What if the wind blows it up or something?” I asked, my mind racing with all the possibilities I could think of.

“You’re thinking you’re gonna be standing there with it flapping about everywhere like Marilyn Monroe!” Lauren laughed.

I walked up and down a few times across the length of the bedroom, getting used to the feather-light brush of the skirt against my smooth legs.

Lauren stood up and watched me for a moment. “Are you going to do something with your hair?”

“Hmm?” I looked back up. “Oh, I was wondering if you could show me that half-do thing you did the other day.”

“The half-up, you mean?” Lauren smiled. “Sure honey, step into my parlour.” She got up and tapped the vanity stool.

I walked over and sat down, my skirt crumpling up under me. I reached under me, awkwardly tugging it back out. Lauren took the paddle brush and began to run it through my hair, letting it hang straight over my back. It felt nice to have her brushing it for me again. I was almost disappointed when she handed me the brush.

“Okay, you do the next bit,” she said. “Take the claw grip… now pull back the sides of your hair… bring them together… that’s it…”

It took me a couple of attempts, but I finally managed to catch my hair evenly in the claw grip. I turned my head, checking in the mirror, smoothing it back at the sides with my hands.

“Thanks,” I said, still staring at myself in the vanity mirror. I rubbed at my eyes, my gaze drifting to Lauren’s make-up, still arranged on the table. I carefully placed them to one side and took my tube of concealer cream, dabbing a little onto my finger and rubbing under each eye. I looked a little fresher afterwards, though I thought my eyes still seemed a little lost on my face.

* * * * *

Lauren spent the rest of the morning doing some prep work for her meeting with Riverside. It was nice to see her excited about something, rather than having to deal with… me. I kicked around the house, feeling a little aimless. When I was left alone it seemed like I didn’t really have a purpose. At least before we had been working towards something — Rourke’s visit, news from Axis regarding the cure… But now all that had been taken away. Instead, it felt like time was just stretching endlessly out in front of me.

I spent a little time out on the porch, partly to make sure my skirt wasn’t about to have a ‘Monroe’ moment. There wasn’t much of a breeze at all, and the sun beat down against my pale skin. Maybe it was better that I was wearing something a bit looser and cooler today.

* * * * *

“Are you sure you’ve got everything?” Lauren asked, as she came over to join me in the lounge, her bare feet tapping lightly against the floor.

“Yes, I think so,” I replied. I had my purse open beside me on the sofa, as I mentally checked everything off. Keys, phone, wallet, sunglasses, tissues, and my concealer tube — just in case I needed a touch up.

“Here you go,” Lauren said, stopping in front of me and dangling a pair of shoes in front of my face.

I reached up and grabbed them, my eyes widening when I took a proper look at the sandals. They had cream-coloured straps with a chunky cork wedge heel. “Oh, err… thanks,” I said, a little taken aback. I set them down in front of me, beginning to wonder just how I was supposed to walk in them.

“I’m just messing with you! Here…” Lauren thrust another pair into my hands. I looked down. This pair were tan-coloured, with thin, flat soles. Far more sensible. She scooped up the wedges for herself, shaking her head as she grinned at me.

I moved my purse so Lauren could sit next to me on the sofa. I watched as she slipped her feet into the wedges. She glanced over at me for a moment. “You need to be careful how you sit honey, you’re going to get your skirt all crumpled.”

I took a breath and set the flat sandals down, giving Lauren a look. I leaned to one side, pulling my skirt out from under me. I slid my small feet into the sandals, pausing for a moment, then started to fiddle with the straps.

“Just fasten them around your ankles,” Lauren said, watching me.

“I know, I can do it." I fastened the upper straps around each of my slender ankles.

Lauren got up and walked across to the kitchen counter. Her mint dress swayed across her legs, while her cork wedges thudded against the wooden floor. She picked up the bottle of suncream that she’d brought down with her, squirting some into her palm. She began to apply it to her arms.

“Uh, should I use some of that?” I said, looking over from the sofa.

“Oh, you want my advice now, do you?” Lauren said, with a wry smile.

“Lauren...”

She walked over to me, grinning broadly. “Your skin’s paler than mine, so it would be a good idea.” She handed me the bottle. “Don’t forget your legs.”

We spent a few minutes handing the bottle between us, making sure we covered any areas of bare skin — which added up to rather more than I was used to. I mostly copied what Lauren was doing, including rubbing some on my exposed upper chest and neck.

“Try not to get any on my top,” Lauren smiled as she watched me. It was a harmless enough comment, but I was suddenly reminded that these clothes didn’t actually belong to me. I looked down at my new skirt. Except it wasn’t new, and it wasn’t mine.

The lavender underwear that sat closest to my body was mine, and I felt the difference in more ways than one.

I finished rubbing a little cream into my face and handed the bottle back to Lauren. “I’m fine,” she said. “My foundation has a little SPF in it.” I nodded and clicked the cap back on. Lauren smiled and leaned down, rubbing a little excess cream into my nose. She gave me a playful boop.

“We best bring it with us. It’s the middle of the day now, after all,” she said. “Have you got room in your bag? Mine’s pretty full.”

“Yes, I think so,” I said, placing it carefully into my purse. I pulled the flap closed and clicked the metal clasp. I rose to my feet and smoothed my skirt out. I noticed that with her wedges, Lauren had gained another couple of inches over me. It wasn’t much, but enough to make me feel small next to her. I watched as she went back over to fetch her bag from the kitchen counter. I pulled my own tan purse over my head and across my shoulder, adjusting it so it sat at my hip.

Lauren pulled out her phone to check the time. “We’d better get going, or we’ll be late.” She tucked it back in her bag and grabbed the keys to the convertible.

* * * * *

The traffic light changed and Lauren hit the accelerator. The convertible growled forwards, only for us to soon slow to a stop again behind another queue of cars. As the engine ticked over, I found myself gazing out of the window. People bustled back and forth on the sidewalk beside us. I held my purse in my lap and drummed my fingers against it.

“You feeling okay, honey?” Lauren said, looking across at me.

“Yeah…” I said, glancing back. We had the hood up today so that we could blast the A/C. I reached for the dial, turning it up a little more.

“It’s just Emma,” Lauren said, reaching across to pat my thigh reassuringly. “It was fine when she came over the other day, wasn’t it?”

“It’s not her I’m worried about,” I said, looking across to the sidewalk. “There’s just so many more people in town today.” I felt myself sink down a little more in my seat.

“Yeah, but look at them,” Lauren said, leaning forward against the steering wheel.

“Everyone looks like they’re in a rush to get somewhere,” I said, playing with a loose strand of my hair.

“Exactly!” Lauren said, tapping the wheel. “No-one’s going to be looking at you. No-one cares. Everyone’s too busy worrying about whatever it is they’ve got going on in their lives right now.”

I nodded and continued to people watch as we inched down the road. There were men and women, couples, older people, young children… Lauren was right. They all had lives. They all had something going on, just like we did.

The traffic began to move again and we turned into the next road. I looked ahead, seeing the familiar signage of Gabriella’s.

“I don’t think there’s anywhere to park,” I said, scanning the street.

“We’ll have to go downtown to the parking lot,” Lauren said, slowing down a little as we rolled past the café. I knew what that meant. It meant we’d have to walk through the centre of town. My fingers started drumming against my purse again. “Or I could drop you off here,” Lauren said, glancing over at me.

“Are you sure?” I said, but I found I was already unclipping my seat belt.

Lauren glanced at the time on the dashboard. “Emma’s probably already there. I’ll only be about ten minutes. I’ll catch you up." She brought the car to a halt in the middle of the street.

Knowing we were holding up the traffic, I quickly opened the car door, feeling the heat against my face. I swung my legs out, my sandals clacking against the tarmac. I pulled myself up and turned back briefly. “I’ll see you soon,” I said, then closed the door.

The car behind us honked its horn.

“Oh!” My voice came out as an especially high-pitched yelp. I quickly hurried across to the sidewalk, my chest jumping and my cream skirt swaying at my thighs.

* * * * *

The door to the café chimed as I entered, a welcome blast of A/C lifting my hair for a moment. The first thing I noticed was the noise. A rabble of voices and conversations, along with the clanking of cutlery and crockery, all but drowning out the soft music that played in the background. I looked around — every table was full of people in conversation. A few looked up at me, but none of them for long. I clasped the strap of my purse tightly, starting to feel my heartbeat thumping in my chest. Then, over towards the back, I saw a hand waving over at me. It was Emma.

I kept my head down, making myself small, as I threaded my way past the tables toward her. Emma got out of her seat, her face lighting up as she looked at me. She was dressed smartly in a black blouse, paired with a floral print skirt. Her long hair was piled up on top of her head in a sort of messy bun style. Suddenly she had me in a bear hug, pulling me against her, her large breasts feeling like pillows between us.

“Scott! I still can’t get used to this!” she said, in a hushed voice, straight into my ear. I breathed in the strong scent of her perfume. She released me, her eyes scanning me up and down. Even Emma seemed taller than me today. I glanced down, seeing that she wore a pair of black high heels. She carried on talking at her normal volume. Which for Emma meant… pretty loud. “You look amazing! And look at you in a skirt and everything!”

“Emma, please!” I whispered pleadingly, noticing a few people glancing our way from the other tables. I quickly slunk down into a chair, slipping my bag over my head and tucking it under the table.

“Where’s Laur?” Emma asked, sitting back down in the chair next to me, scooting over to be close to me. She had a permanent look of wonder across her face, her glossy pink lips breaking into an easy smile.

“She’s just parking up, she won’t be long,” I said, smoothing back the sides of my hair.

“Buongiorno ladies! My apologies, my apologies, we are very busy today.”

I looked up to see Gabriella coming towards us, with a cloth in her hand. She looked a bit more harried than the last time I saw her, with her hair a little more out of place, and her apron showing a few more stains. She immediately leaned over us to clean the table down from the previous customer.

“Signorina Emma, so lovely to see you!” she said, seeming genuinely delighted.

“Buongiorno Gabriella!” Emma said, playfully mimicking her accent.

Gabriella looked at me, then straightened, wagging a finger. “Ah! And signorina… err, Susie!”

I glanced at Emma who looked at me with her mouth hung open, unable to hide her amusement. In that moment I just wanted to slide under the table and quietly die.

Gabriella reached into the pocket at the front of her apron to grab her notepad and pen. She clicked the end of the pen against the pad. “Now, what can I get for you ladies today?”

“We’re still waiting for one more,” Emma said. “Maybe just some water for now?”

“Si, ah, signora Lauren, of course.” Gabriella clicked her pen again. “I’ll get you some water.” She went over to another table, slipping straight into conversation with a young couple. She seemed to remember everyone’s names.

“Susie?!” Emma said, a little too loudly. I hung my head back and stared up at the ceiling.

“It’s a long story,” I groaned and rubbed at my eyes. “Well, it isn’t really… but it’s Lauren’s fault!” I folded my arms, feeling annoyed all over again — at the name that somehow seemed to be following me around.

Emma giggled. “I’m sorry, but you’ve got to admit it’s kind of funny.” She reached across the table and gave the back of my hand a tap. “So come on, what have you two been up to, other than coming up with names and trying on skirts?”

I breathed a sigh. “Lauren’s told you what happened right?” I glanced behind me for a moment, then dropped my voice. “About Axis… and the lawyer?”

“Yeah… she did.” Emma’s expression flattened for a moment, her eyes softening. “How are you both holding up? I was worried about Lauren the other day.”

I realised that Emma and Lauren seemed to be in constant dialogue, whether it was phone calls or texting. “Well, things were a little rocky between us for a moment,” I said, feeling a little sad about it, as I thought back to the past couple of days. “But yesterday... yesterday was good.”

“Let me guess, make-up sex?” Emma said, with an impish grin. “Always works wonders.”

“Wh-what… of course not!” It was my turn to be a little too loud, drawing a few head turns.

“Why, of course not?” Emma asked, innocently. She leaned back as Gabriella set a jug of water and two glasses down between us. She quickly moved on with the drinks for another table. “Grazie, Gabriella,” Emma said without looking away from me.

“Di niente.”

I leaned in close, my eyes darting from side to side. “Because… w-why would she be into that?”

“Well, have you asked her?” Emma reached for the water jug, pouring us each a small glass.

“Well… uh, no.” I could feel my cheeks burning. I grabbed my glass, knocking back the water in one. I brought a hand to my mouth, trying to talk as quietly as I could, given the noise around us. "But she's not into women... is she?"

"Hmm, not unless you count the time we drunkenly made out back when we were at business school," Emma giggled again. "But my point is, you two clearly aren't talking about this!"

"Can we, uh... not talk about this right now?" I heard the chime of the bell above the door and turned to see Lauren walking in. “Oh, thank god!”

“Hi!” Lauren sang the words, hurrying over with short steps, her wedge heels clacking. Emma got up and the two friends hugged tightly and kissed on the cheek. Lauren’s entrance drew a few looks, but she either didn’t notice, or didn’t care.

Lauren smoothed the back of her mint dress before sitting down next to me. Her hand touched my back lightly. “You okay?”

I gave a tight smile and nodded, though I was sure my face must have still been a deep shade of purple from Emma’s interrogation.

“So, what did I miss?” Lauren looked between us both.

“Nothing,” I said quickly.

“I was just talking about when we were at business school together,” Emma said, leaning forward against the backs of both our chairs. She gave me a little wink.

“Oh god, yeah…” Lauren said, tucking her bag down next to mine. “It’s a wonder we even passed the exams.”

“Okay, let me get the drinks, then we can get down to business,” Emma said. “I’m gonna take a look at the paninis, do you girls want anything?”

“Oh yeah, if she’s got a mozzarella and tomato, I’ll have one of those,” Lauren said. There was a pause and then I felt her nudging me with her elbow.

“Huh?” I was still trying to work out when I had become one of the “girls.”

“Just get two,” Lauren said, answering for me. Emma grabbed her purse and went over to the counter, waiting for Gabriella to make herself available.

“Hey, you sure everything’s okay?” Lauren said, leaning her elbows on the table.

“I’m fine,” I said softly, gazing over toward Emma. “She cares about you a lot." I looked back to Lauren.

“She cares about both of us,” Lauren said, placing her hand over mine. “That’s why she’s the best person to help us now.”

”Susie! What did you want to drink?” Emma called loudly from the counter.

“Oh, for crying out loud!” I sank my head forward against my folded arms on the table. I lay there for a moment, listening to the noise of the café. Finally, I forced my head up, my eyes still closed. “Latte… I’ll have a latte.”

* * * * *

The three of us huddled in closer around the table. Even Emma was keeping her voice low now that we were getting down to it.

“I mean, I’m not even sure we’re allowed to be talking to you about this,” I said, covering my mouth with one hand as I chewed on my panini.

“The attorney said there was a… what was it… a 'perpetual NDA'... meaning we can’t even discuss it,” Lauren added, “I mean, obviously we are but... what if we get to court and they just throw the whole thing back at us?”

“No... I call bullshit,” Emma said under her breath. “They can’t stop you getting legal counsel.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, glancing around the café.

“I mean, we can check with Rachel, but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard her talk about stuff like this before,” Emma said.

“Do you think she’ll be able to help us?” Lauren asked, sipping at her coffee.

“Well, I know my cousin and… well, she’s actually got principles. Rachel only takes on cases she believes in. And a woman wanting to stick it to big business? She lives and breathes that stuff.”

“A woman...” I said, staring down at my plate.

Emma nodded. “And the fact they fired you... for what? Not filling out a form?”

“Pretty much,” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. I thought back to Doctor Rourke’s questionnaire. “Wait, I can tell you exactly what they said.” I uncrossed my legs and reached under the table for my purse, bringing it up onto the table. I noticed Emma staring for a moment as I unclasped it and reached in for my phone.

I tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear as I unlocked it, tapping through into the folder I’d made to save the email from Axis. “Here it is — failure to comply with reporting obligations... so they reckoned it was a breach of my contract that I didn’t get them the data they wanted.”

“And what else was it? That you hadn’t followed the safety procedures at the lab,” Lauren added, shaking her head in disgust.

“Yeah, exactly,” I said, tapping at my phone.

“Well, that’s all just a lame excuse, isn’t it?” Emma said.

“We can see that Ems... we do,” Lauren said, looking at me. “But I guess we’re just worried about how we can ever hope to fight something as big as Axis.”

“But that’s what they’re counting on Laur. They just hope that you won’t even bother.” Emma took a bite of her own food, then wiped her mouth with a napkin.

We sat in silence for a minute or so. I put my phone back in my bag, then stirred absently at my latte with a spoon. When I looked up, I noticed that Lauren and Emma were both staring at me.

“What?” I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“It has to be your choice, Scott,” Lauren said quietly. “But I’ll support you, no matter what.” She reached over to clasp my hand.

I nodded and looked at Emma. “I’d like to meet with Rachel.” I then looked back to Lauren, remembering the fire I’d felt inside of me when we’d stood up on the hill yesterday.

“I’ll call her this evening,” Emma said smiling warmly and reaching a hand out to each of us. The three of us joined hands in a circle round the table. Lauren and I weren’t alone in this anymore.

* * * * *

We finished our food and coffee, and went up to the counter together to pay. Gabriella had a selection of different flavour coffee beans arranged in bowls on the counter, along with packets of each for sale. While she added up what we owed on her notepad, I found myself picking up a few of the Colombian beans, bringing them to my nose. My eyes closed as I inhaled the rich, almost sweet aroma.

“We have to get this one,” I said thrusting a packet into Lauren’s hands.

“And this, I guess!” Lauren said holding up the packet for Gabriella, who added it to the check.

“Oh, signorina,” Gabriella playfully tutted at me. “You failed the test. You’re supposed to choose the Italian blend, si?”

“Oh god, sorry Gabriella…” I found myself blushing.

Gabriella beckoned me in with a finger, a glint in her eye. I leaned forward over the counter as she whispered. “It’s the best one really, just don’t tell my mama, she’ll kill me!” I broke into a brief, soft laughter.

“What are you two cackling about?” Emma asked, looking over.

“Nothing,” I said, and gave Gabriella a smile. Lauren picked up the check and added a tip.

“Grazie and goodbye my lovely ladies,” Gabriella blew an air kiss at us and waved. “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time to talk. Come back when it’s a little quieter!”

“You should hire some help,” Emma said.

“Si, perhaps I do that one day. It was easier when I was a little younger,” she sighed, and for a moment she suddenly looked exhausted.

We all bid her “ciao” and began to file out. I slipped the coffee packet into my bag. I paused for a moment, placing a hand on Lauren’s arm. “I, uh… I need to pee… I’ll meet you outside.”

“Okay honey,” she nodded.

I slid my way past chairs and tables, apologising for no real reason. I pushed the door that led through to a short corridor where the toilets were. I automatically walked toward the door at the end, but paused when I looked up at the stick-man symbol on the door. I sighed, drifting back a few paces to the other door on my right. This had the same stick-figure on the door, just with a skirt. I turned the handle, but it was locked from the inside. Folding my arms, I propped myself against the wall and waited. I stared at the door, wondering if that was all it really came down to. I was the same old stick-figure as before, only I was wearing a skirt. And because of that everything had to change for me.

I slowly paced down to the men’s door, then back up to where I was. The door finally unlocked and a blonde woman stepped out.

“Oh, sorry!” she said, giving a small smile and holding the door open for me. I quickly stepped through and closed it behind me, sliding the catch across.

There was only a single toilet in the small space, but the first thing I noticed was how much water was splashed over the floor, with wet tissue paper strewn about. It was even messier than the men’s room in here! I pulled some paper from the dispenser, wiping it over the seat — just to be safe. I bunched up my cream skirt around my waist and slipped my lavender panties halfway down my thighs. As I sat and peed, my eyes drifted around. Directly opposite was a fold down table for changing babies, and up on the wall was an empty vending machine for tampons. At least I didn’t have any of that to worry about. I wiped and flushed, pulling my panties back into place and smoothing my skirt back down. Well, that was a little easier than having to shimmy my leggings up and down.

I stepped over to the wash basin, making sure to be careful where I put my feet, especially in my open-toe sandals. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror as I washed my hands. The heat had caused me to sweat off the little bit of concealer that I had used. I opened my purse and pulled the tube out, squirting a small blob onto the end of my finger, then dabbing carefully under each eye. I took a breath, smoothing out my hair with my fingers, wishing I had thought to put a small brush in my bag.

* * * * *

“… yeah, so now we’re stuck with that too.” Lauren turned as I hefted open the glass door to the café, stepping out onto the street. It felt like setting foot into an oven, the air hot and stifling. I squinted against the glare of the sun and reached into my purse for my sunglasses.

“Hey cuz!” Emma sang with a huge grin on her face.

“Hey…” I said, slipping my sunglasses on. My gaze shifted from Emma to Lauren. She playfully bit her lower lip. “Wait— you told her about the cousin thing, didn’t you?” My shoulders slumped, remembering how I’d told Vic the other day that I was Lauren’s… cousin.

“Honestly, I’m going to be dining out on this one for months,” Emma giggled as she adjusted her shoulder bag. “But what I don’t get is why you didn’t just say you were Scott’s cousin.”

Lauren threw up her hands. “See? That’s what I said!”

“Listen…. I love you both, but I need to get back to the office before I get fired,” Emma said. She paused, looked mortified for a moment. “Sorry, poor choice of words.”

“It’s okay,” I said softly.

“Alright, well it was lovely to see you Ems,” Lauren said, as they embraced tightly again. “Let me know tomorrow what Rachel says.”

“See you cuz,” Emma smiled, breaking from Lauren and pulling me to her.

“Uhf!” My hands were straight at my sides, but even in the uncomfortable heat I felt the tension slowly leave my body. My hands slid up Emma’s back. “Thanks Emma,” I whispered into her ear. I breathed in, allowing myself a moment to savour the scent of her perfume.

* * * * *

Lauren strode down the pedestrianised street, her wedge heels clacking beneath her. I found I had to take smaller hurried steps just to keep up with her, causing my skirt to sway at my knees, and my purse to tap against my hip.

I tried my best to stick close to her as people milled all about us. There was a gentle roar of voices mixing with the sound of traffic in the distance. Lauren had promised that we’d pass unnoticed — that no-one would even look twice. I found that wasn’t quite true.

Nearly everyone we passed gave a quick glance. It was just a micro-second look, but it was noticeably different to the invisible anonymity I had experienced as a man. It was both men and women. Sometimes they would meet my eyes. Sometimes they’d seem to glance at my body… or my clothes, I wasn’t sure which. And it wasn’t that they were singling me out — I could see that Lauren was receiving the same quick-fire looks that I was.

“You didn’t tell Emma about Riverside,” I said, trying to distract myself, looking up at Lauren as we walked.

“Hmm? Oh, no… I didn’t,” she said, still looking straight ahead.

“I just thought you’d want to tell your best friend,” I said. We passed either side of another pair of women. Another couple of micro-glances.

“It’s not like I’ve even got the contract yet,” Lauren said as we rejoined. “Besides, I already told my best friend.” She looked across at me and smiled.

I gazed at the store fronts as we walked. Everywhere seemed to be pushing their new summer stock. I slowed in front of a window display, seeing mannequins dressed in bikinis, sarongs and sunhats. Fake dolls made up to look like the real thing. My focus shifted back to my own reflection.

“Hey look,” Lauren said, tugging at my elbow. She guided me back across to the other side of the street, as we both gazed up at the tall building in front of us. It was our local cinema, newly refurbished with polished glass windows and fresh gleaming paintwork. I stepped up beside Lauren and we stood there for a moment. There were colourful posters in the windows advertising the big reopening tomorrow.

The cinema only had a few small screens, but it had been one of my favourite things to do together. I loved the experience of it… the darkened theatre, the expectation, the smell of the popcorn.

We moved a little closer, standing under the canopy of the cinema so we didn’t get in anyone’s way. I stepped up to the glass door, slipping my sunglasses up on top of my head and cupping my hands to peer inside.

“It looks nice,” I said, my voice coming out a little flat. Last week we’d said we would go back to the cinema... once all this was over. And I’d allowed myself to believe that. I thought this would all be wrapped up cleanly like a two-hour movie of the week. Now it felt more like an open-ended series. And some greedy exec had decided to renew me for another season...

“Hey, I was thinking we could do with picking up a few things from the store,” Lauren said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Plus, I wouldn’t mind looking at some of the clothes if it’s going to stay hot like this.”

“Uh, I’m not sure I can Lauren,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I think I’ve used up the last of my batteries for today.”

Lauren scanned my face, looking concerned as she tried to read me.

“You go on, I can just go wait in the car or something,” I said, forcing a small smile.

“Are you sure? Let me walk you to the car first,” Lauren said.

“Lauren!”

“I know, I’m sorry...” Lauren took a breath, gazing absently at the shoes of a passing woman. “Hey, why don’t you go sit in the park across the street? I can meet you there after.”

I turned my head and looked across, seeing the trees on the far side of the buildings that lined the street. “Yeah, okay... that might be nice,” I agreed. “Oh, could you pick up some more moisturiser?”

“Of course, honey. Anything else you need?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I said. “Just, uh... try not to be too long.”

“I won’t,” Lauren touched my arm for a moment. “And don’t you go getting yourself into trouble!”

I smoothed my hands across my skirt and started to walk in the direction of the side street that led around to the park. I turned back to look at Lauren and waved my hand. “I won’t.”

I walked straight into the chest of a passing man.

“Look out, sweetheart!” he grinned, his hand touching my lower back lightly as he manoeuvred himself around me. I stepped back and spun around. I looked back over at Lauren to see her holding a hand to her mouth, stifling a laugh.

* * * * *

The park wasn’t much more than a large public garden, offering a quiet space away from the pedestrian mall. But that was fine. It was all I needed to have a moment to myself after the busyness of the town centre. I walked along the path, glad for the shade of the trees above me. There were a few people sat out on the grass, enjoying the sun, but mostly they seemed to be getting up and leaving. I figured their lunch breaks were coming to an end and they needed to get back to wherever they needed to be. Finding an empty bench, I went to sit but paused for a moment. This time I smoothed the back of my skirt with both hands. As I sat, my skirt folded neatly under me. I brought my purse up onto my lap and leaned my head back. I could see the hills over in the distance. It made me long to get back to the lake-house.

I closed my eyes, letting myself just breathe, and focusing on the sounds around me — the rustle of the leaves, the traffic in the distance, the sound of children playing on the swings at the other end of the park.

I lost track of how long I sat there. I wasn’t even sure whether I’d actually fallen asleep for a moment. I exhaled and opened my eyes again. From where I was sat I had a view of the road running along the uppermost side of the park. I happened to notice a car parked up — silver with dark windows. I felt like I’d seen it before somewhere.

I reached behind my head, feeling that my claw-grip was coming loose. I removed it and shook my hair free. I then started over with collecting my hair back and clipping it into place. I opened my purse to get my phone out, setting the camera in ‘selfie’ mode. I held it up in front of me to check it all looked even.

“Scott? It is you, isn’t it?”

I slowly lowered my phone at the sound of the woman’s voice. I looked up, squinting against the glare of the sun. She stood in silhouette for a moment until she took a step forward. It took me a moment to register who it was.

“Doctor… Hartwell?”

* * * * *

“May I sit down?” Hartwell asked. Her voice sounded older and lower than either mine or Lauren’s. She was a petite woman, thin and small, with thick, black-rimmed glasses that looked too big for her face. She wore her greying auburn hair tied back in a loose bun.

I gripped the edges of the bench I was sat on, not knowing whether to get up or not. “I—I’m not sure I should be speaking to you.” My eyes darted evasively as I felt my heartbeat start to hammer in my chest. Even though we both worked at Axis Labs, I hadn’t properly met Doctor Hartwell until now. She certainly wasn’t dressed how I expected, in a casual white button-up blouse and loose beige linen pants.

“I’m sorry for approaching you like this,” she said, calmly sitting down next to me anyway, “but I had to see you.” She stared at me for a moment, her gaze drifting down my body, then back up, seeming to search my eyes in particular. Her face seemed to soften with sympathy.

“It was you… in the car the other day?” I asked, my voice trembling.

Hartwell nodded. “I’m sorry if I startled you. Honestly, I didn’t expect to see you standing right there outside the house.”

“W-what do you want… and why are you following me?” I found myself sliding away from her on the bench. I clutched at my wedding ring necklace, holding it tight in my hand.

“Because I want to help you,” she said, studying my face again for a moment. “Because… I’m responsible for what happened to you.” She sighed and took off her glasses to rub at her temples.

I closed my eyes and drew my lips in. “The compound… it was yours… you developed it,” I said, trying to steady the emotion in my voice.

“B-579H… sound familiar?” Hartwell said, quietly.

I heard footsteps approaching and opened my eyes again. We sat in silence for a moment as a man walked past us, heading towards the park exit. It gave me a moment to gather my thoughts. I waited until he was out of earshot. “I… I can’t do this again… I can’t trust Axis. Not anymore.”

“I understand,” Hartwell said. “But there’s something you should know…”

“What is it?” I looked at her, reaching up to wipe tears from my cheeks.

“I no longer work for Axis,” she said, gazing up into the branches of the trees.

“I… I don’t understand… why?” I sniffed, opening my purse to find a tissue.

“Because they asked me to stop working on a cure.” Her expression seemed to tighten as she said it.

I paused and stared at her for a moment. “That… that’s not what they told us. They said it was still happening… it just wasn’t a priority.”

“Well then, your instinct to not trust them was correct,” Hartwell said, plainly. She reached into her own purse and pulled out a business card, handing it to me. “I’d still like to help you, Scott. This is my private clinic. You’re welcome any time. Tomorrow, even. After all, I appear to have plenty of time on my hands now.”

I stared down at the card, turning it over in my hand.

“Or whenever you’re ready,” she added. “And Scott, I’m not going to make you any promises. I had some ideas, some avenues we can explore together, but there are still many unknowns. And without access to the equipment I had at Axis, things might be even slower.”

“Tomorrow…” I said, turning the idea over in my mind. I looked up at Hartwell. “Aren’t we in breach of our NDAs or whatever, by talking about this?”

“Well, I’m not planning on telling anyone. Are you?” I gave a small smile, though Hartwell’s expression didn’t seem to change very much, even when she was making a joke.

“You know, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I walked up to you just now,” she said, her eyes sweeping across me once more, “but you’ve really surprised me.”

I sighed. Here we go… This was where she’d comment on my skirt, or my hair, or tell me how well I’d adapted.

Hartwell looked back up and held my gaze. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a man able to carry quite so much on his shoulders,” she said sincerely. I stared at her and blinked.

“Hey!” A voice came from down the path. I looked up to see Lauren hurrying towards us, dropping the shopping bags she was carrying, sending items scattering across the path. “Hey, what is this? What are you doing here?” she demanded angrily, stopping in front of the bench where we sat.

“I just came to offer my help,” Hartwell said, holding her hands up. I didn’t even know if Lauren would have recognised Hartwell, having only seen a photo of her on the Axis website, but it seemed she was as good at faces and names as Gabriella was.

“We know all about Axis help, don’t we?” Lauren said, glancing at me. She held out her hand to me. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Lauren… she doesn’t work for them anymore,” I said, looking up at her.

“And you believed her?” Lauren placed her hands on her hips, looking exasperated.

Doctor Hartwell rose to her feet looking small in front of Lauren. “I’d best leave,” she turned back to look at me. “Scott, you’ve got my details.”

Lauren huffed. “Look, just scurry on back to Axis and tell them we’re through playing games. We can help ourselves from now on,” she continued, even as Hartwell started to walk back down the path towards where her car was parked.

My gaze followed Hartwell, watching her disappear, my heart sinking. I quickly tucked her card into the side of my purse.

* * * * *

Lauren and I knelt down together, collecting up the items from the path and placing everything back in the plastic shopping bags.

“Even if she was still involved with Axis what more can they do to us at this point?” I said. I could feel myself sweating, the air feeling oppressive.

“It isn’t worth the risk,” Lauren said as we rose, sharing the bags between us to walk back over to the bench. “If we stick with the legal route, we can force them to make this right for you. If we say or do anything with the wrong person at this point, the whole thing could just fall through before it’s even begun.”

I sighed as we sat down together. I began to peer into a few of the bags at my feet. “How much did you buy anyway?” I reached in, pulling out a multi-pack of panties, all in different colours.

“Actually, most of it’s for you!” Lauren said, looking over. “Just some essentials — underwear, some more leggings and tops for you. A couple of skirts…”

I tossed the multipack back into the bag. “Thanks,” I said, with a small hint of sarcasm. I felt like we had just closed a door on something out of spite. And replaced it with… more panties.

“Look, Lauren… earlier you said it had to be my choice,” I said.

Lauren nodded and looked away for a moment, over toward the hills in the distance. “I know, you’re right… I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m choosing this,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Tomorrow, I’m going to see Doctor Hartwell.” I pulled the business card back out of the pocket of my purse.

“Then I’m coming too,” Lauren said softly, sliding her hand across the gap between us on the bench.

“I was hoping you would.” I smiled and placed my hand on top of hers. I breathed in, filling my lungs, suddenly aware of the scent of the flowers in the park.

* * * * *

TO BE CONTINUED