A TURN OF THE MOON
Day Eleven
by
Jessica Drew

I set the laundry basket down in front of the washer and opened the lid. I picked out the beige sweatpants and sweatshirt I’d worn yesterday, pausing to look down at them. They were dirty and the pants were torn from my mishap yesterday. Maybe Lauren would be able to stitch them back up. I dropped them into the washer and ran a hand against my side, feeling the tenderness of the bruise there.

I picked up the black pair of boxer briefs that I’d made the mistake of wearing the day before. My hips certainly hadn’t thanked me for that! I tossed them in, followed by a colourful mix of what we’d been wearing between us — tops, leggings, dresses, bras and panties. I added detergent and softener and twisted the dial. The washer chugged into life, the whirring noise reverberating across the hard surfaces of the utility room.

I made my way back through to the kitchen, running a hand through the length of my blonde ponytail. I had woken extra early this morning, feeling strangely full of energy. I’d let Lauren sleep while I quietly got ready around her. I’d considered going for another run, but given we’d done nothing productive yesterday, I thought it best to deal with some of the chores that had piled up. I glanced across at the rear windows, looking out to the clear blue skies beyond.

My thoughts drifted to the last couple of days. How Shaw’s visit had set off a grenade in the house, leaving us both bereft and lost. We’d found our way back to each other and things felt good again. But we were still in the same situation as before. I was still... stuck like this... as a woman… for an uncertain amount of time. My mind seemed to retreat from the thought. In the same way humans were hardwired not to dwell on anything too existential for too long — it felt the same here. Like the question was too big to grasp.

At least it looked to be another nice day. Id be able to get the laundry dry outside.

I opened one of the kitchen cupboards, reaching for the coffee beans we’d bought from Gabriella’s the other day. I opened the packet and brought it to my nose, inhaling. The aroma was strong, taking me a little by surprise.

“Mmm.” I exhaled and tipped them out into the coffee grinder. I set up the percolator and fetched a mug each for me and Lauren. I thought about preparing some breakfast for her, my eyes drifting to the fruit bowl. I reached over to squeeze the remaining peaches, but unfortunately they’d seen better days. I opened the fridge and checked a few more cupboards. It was looking like we’d need to pick up some more things from the store.

* * * * *

I walked through into the bedroom, carefully carrying two mugs of steaming coffee. I looked up, surprised to see that Lauren was sitting up in bed and scrolling on her phone.

“Oh, you’re up,” I said, as I walked over to set a mug down on the bedside table next to her.

“Well, I think you must have slammed every door and cupboard in the house,” Lauren said, smiling.

“Sorry!” I looked sheepishly at her as I walked back round to my side of the bed.

“I like this on you,” Lauren said, looking at my top. “Sage suits you.”

“Oh, thanks,” I said. I smoothed a hand across my waist as I looked down at the fitted V-necked t-shirt I’d chosen to wear. “I thought it was just called ‘green’.”

Lauren reached for her coffee, blowing on it. “There’s a few more colours out there, you know. You’ll learn.”

I set my own mug down and sat on the edge of the bed, swinging my legs round. “You mean now that I’ve got plenty of time,” I said ruefully.

“That’s... not what I meant,” Lauren said.

“I know it wasn’t... I’m sorry, I’m in a bit of a funny mood today,” I said, toying with my wedding ring necklace.

“Scott… we need to talk,” Lauren said. “About everything that’s happened.” Her hand reached across for mine.

“I know we do, but… I’m not ready,” I said, my fingers finding hers. “Can we just have a normal morning? We’ll talk later, I promise.”

“Alright… but I’ll hold you to it,” Lauren said.

I nodded and stared down at my dark grey leggings, picking off a loose strand of blonde hair.

“You know, I had to pick a clump of that out of the shower the other day,” Lauren teased.

“Not just mine I bet! I swear I’m shedding like a dog!” I laughed a little, glancing at Lauren as she took a sip of her coffee. I rolled onto my side, propping my head on one arm. “You know, we should do something today.”

“Someone woke up eager this morning!” Lauren smiled back at me. “But seriously, I was thinking the same. It’ll be good for us.”

“Yeah,” I said, taking a breath.

“How about a picnic? We could load up the car... drive out somewhere?”

“Oh, that sounds perfect,” I said. I liked the idea of it just being the two of us, enjoying the outdoors. And we did need it. “How about I pick us up a few bits at that deli we like?”

Lauren almost choked on her coffee. She coughed and set her mug down. “Really?”

“What is it?”

Lauren stared at me for a moment, seeming about to say something, but then changing her mind. “Well... I guess I’ll just hop in the shower then. I can put the laundry on while you’re out.”

“I already did it,” I said, finding myself talking slightly more quickly. “I’m going to run you a bath... so you’re under orders to just relax.” I leaned up and placed a kiss on Lauren’s cheek.

“What did I do to deserve all this?” Lauren asked, gently touching her own cheek.

“How about looking after me for the last ten days. And, well… the fact that I might need a bit more looking after,” I said, gazing down at my small feet on the bed. “I think that deserves a few cups of coffee and a bath!”

“Oh, that’s definitely worth pancakes, at least!” Lauren laughed, as she stroked a hand through her brunette hair.

“I don’t know, my pancakes are pretty special...” I teased back. “Actually, I was going to make you something, but we’re running pretty low on things.”

“That’s okay, I can wait until the picnic,” Lauren said.

“So... lavender, or rose?”

“Hmm?”

“The bath salts,” I said as I rose from the bed. I reached back to tighten my ponytail a little.

“Surprise me,” Lauren said, settling back against the pillows as she took another sip of her coffee.

* * * * *

I sat on the edge of the bathtub with my legs crossed, as the water poured from the taps. I brought the rose salts to my nose, closing my eyes as I savoured the scent. I then switched to the lavender salts, noting the subtleties and differences. I remembered how Lauren had run me a lavender bath on my first night home from the hospital. I hadn’t felt much like it at the time, but it had only taken a few minutes of lying there in the warm scented water to change my mind. I poured the lavender salts into Lauren’s bath and reached down to churn the water with my hand.

I breathed in the pleasant aroma and rose to my feet. I checked myself in the bathroom mirror, smoothing out my hair and tugging on the hem of my sage t-shirt. I turned a little, looking sidelong at my profile. The fitted fabric looked quite flattering.

“Mmm, that’s an inviting sight,” Lauren said from the doorway.

“Wh-what?” I stammered, holding a hand to my chest as I turned.

Lauren walked past me, over toward the bathtub. “And you chose lavender… my favourite.”

“Oh yes… the bath,” I shook my head.

Lauren leaned over, tested the temperature of the water with her hand. “So how were you planning on getting to the deli?” she asked, shaking her wet hand out.

“Well, I was going to drive,” I said, thinking it obvious.

“It’s just, you’ve not driven since the accident,” she reminded me.

“Lauren, I’m a woman, not an invalid,” I said, planting my hands on my hips.

“Just… drive slowly for me,” Lauren said, untying the belt of her robe. She pushed it from her shoulders, letting it pool at her feet. For a moment I stared at her naked body — at the curve of her breasts and her sparse trimmed mound — and I found my mind drifting. To a time, only a few short weeks ago, when we’d made love under the heat of the shower. I tried to remember what it had felt like — the rush, the hardness… that need to be inside her.

As Lauren turned and dipped a toe carefully into the bathtub, I became aware of a faint warmth fluttering between my legs. It was brief, disappearing as quickly as it came. “I’ll… be careful,” I managed to say, turning away to face the mirror. I saw from my reflection that my cheeks were red.

“Do we need to make a list of things to buy?” Lauren asked, the bath water sloshing behind me as she lowered herself into it.

“I’ll figure it out,” I said brushing my blonde hair back behind my ears. “I won’t be long.” I quickly made for the door.

“Oh… okay. Well, be careful honey,” Lauren called after me. I glanced back at her, seeing her now lying in the tub, the steam rising up around her. I smiled awkwardly, pulling the bathroom door closed with a gentle click. I lingered there for a moment, my hand resting on the door handle. My cheeks still felt warm. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, quickly making my way to the staircase.

* * * * *

The garage door rose upwards and the sunlight filled the space, banishing the shadows around me. The bodywork of the cars gleamed and sparkled. I stared down at the red convertible that we’d used to drive into town the other day. Lauren had taken the wheel as I hadn’t felt quite ready. But today was different. I missed driving — the freedom, the control. I juggled the small pile I held in my hands — my wallet, my phone and my keys. I managed to click the key remote and the black SUV lit up and beeped once.

I walked alongside the car to the driver side, still surprised at the size of the vehicle. Holding my belongings to my body with one hand, I used the other to heft the heavy driver’s door open. I put my foot on the lower step and climbed in, the leather seat seeming to swallow me up. I dropped my things onto the passenger seat, my gaze lingering for a moment. The last time I’d sat there was when Lauren had brought me back from the hospital.

I remembered the drive home, staring blankly out of the passenger window, my female body keenly feeling every slight bump in the road. Part of me couldn’t understand why we were going home. After all, you’re only supposed to leave hospital once you’re better. And I still had something desperately wrong with me.

I slid my hands over the steering wheel, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the rear-view mirror. It certainly didn’t look like anything was desperately wrong with me.

I checked the side mirrors. Lauren had been the last person to drive the SUV and had already adjusted everything for her smaller body. Her settings now suited me too. Only the car felt… huge. Even with the seat adjusted, I still felt like I was peering up over the dashboard, and my legs now had to stretch further to reach the pedals.

I’ll be fine. Let’s do this

I looked down at my small feet and the white sneakers that I wore. I pressed my foot against the brake pedal, meeting a firmer resistance than I was used to. I pressed the ignition and the SUV rumbled into life. I let it tick over as I pulled the seat belt across my body. It felt awkward, not quite settling cleanly between my breasts. Plus it pulled the neckline of my top out of shape… Clearly designed by a man.

I released the parking brake and let the SUV roll gently out of the garage. The driveway banked to the left, rising steeply up to the road. I had to feed the large steering wheel quickly between my hands to make the turn. I pushed my foot down, overcompensating, the car lurching up the driveway at speed. I felt my body pressing back into the seat. Just before I reached the main road, I slammed the brake, the seat belt locking and pressing painfully against my chest. I sat there for a moment, a little stunned, the engine still ticking over. A let a small smile creep across my face. That was probably the hardest part of the whole drive, and I’d managed it! I leaned forward checking both ways up the main road, making sure it was clear. As I gently pressed the gas pedal, I caught a glimpse of old Vic in his front yard on the opposite side of the street.

Suddenly there was a sickening metallic crunch against the left-hand side of the car.

“Shit!” I exclaimed, tensing as my foot hit the brake. I froze for a moment, then carefully applied the parking brake. Unclipping my seat belt, I opened the door and hopped down. The SUV straddled the sidewalk, though I hadn’t even made it as far as the road. I walked around the front of the car, fearing the worst, only to find our mailbox bent out of shape and tilted on its pole. Worst of all, there was now a deep scratch and a dent along the side of the SUV. The remains of the smashed side-light lay scattered on the sidewalk.

“Are you okay?“ a gruff sounding male voice came from behind me. I turned to see Vic ambling across the road toward me.

“Uh, yes… I’m fine,” I said, my own voice sounding particularly high and feminine in comparison.

“Hmm, shame about the car, though,” he said, stopping to catch his breath as he inspected the damage. “Oh, forgive me hon, I don’t believe we’ve met… I’m Vic.” He wiped his hand on the back of his jeans and held it out. Of course we hadn’t met… not like this, anyway. I tentatively reached out and felt his rough hand envelope mine. He shook it lightly. Vic stood tall in front of me, despite the stoop he’d acquired with age. His hair was wispy and white, as was his beard and moustache. He wore a chequered shirt, his paunch causing it to come untucked, and his jeans were dirty from yard work, with patches sewn over the holes.

“Hi,” I answered at last, “I’m Sss…Susie.” The name slipped out past my lips before I even realised what had happened. It was all I could think of in the moment! The same name Lauren had used for me when Gabriella had asked the very same question. I lowered my head, feeling my cheeks flush red.

“Well Susie, always a pleasure to meet a lovely young lady.” He smiled warmly, his wrinkled face creasing. “But I don’t think Scott’s gonna be very happy with you.” He shook his head and tutted, inspecting the dent more closely.

“No… I’m pretty sure he won’t be,” I said taking a deep breath, smoothing my hands across my top.

“You sure you’re not hurt, hon?” he said, just lightly touching my arm.

“Just a little shaken,” I said truthfully.

Vic nodded, about to say something when a whining noise from across the street made him turn. “Toby… Stay! Good boy.” Vic’s dog sat obediently at the edge of his front yard, tilting its head as it listened. It was a large, black and brown German Shepherd — the same dog that used to bark ceaselessly anytime I dared go out the front of the house. And here it was just quietly studying me.

“So, are you stayin’ with the Carters?” Vic asked as he turned his attention to the mailbox, gripping the pole, testing it with a firm shake.

“Yes… I’m Lauren’s… cousin,” I said, my eyes widening. Fuck, why did I say that?

“Oh, yes… well, I suppose I can see it,” he said, his grey eyes scanning my face for a moment. He coughed a couple of times and cleared his throat. “We can probably straighten this out if you back up a little,” he said, resting a hand on the mailbox.

“Right,” I said, tucking my hair back behind my ears. I hurried back round to the driver side and got back in. I closed the door after me, sitting with my hands on the steering wheel for a moment. I checked the rear-view mirror and took a deep breath. I hit the ignition and shifted the SUV into reverse, backing up just enough to free the mailbox. I didn’t dare reverse back down the drive. Knowing my luck, I’d probably end up driving straight through into the lounge. I reapplied the parking brake and watched through the windscreen, as Vic shoved the mailbox upright again.

I got back out and joined Vic, standing side by side as we stared at the misshapen mailbox and pole. “Barely noticeable,” I said flatly.

Vic chuckled, sending himself into another coughing fit. I looked up at him, but he waved away my look of concern. “Ahem… Well, I’m sure a man like Scott will have it straightened out in no time.”

“Yeah, a man like Scott…” I said under my breath as I gazed down at my body, my womanly curves on full display in my fitted sage-green t-shirt and figure-hugging leggings.

“If you like, I can tell ‘em I saw kids taking the car out for a joyride.” His white moustache bristled as he smiled to himself.

“Thanks… but I better just go and face the music,” I said glancing back toward the lake-house.

“You look after yourself, hon.” Vic checked the road and crossed back over, rewarding his dog’s patience with a scratch behind the ears. He gave me a wave and I found myself raising my hand and giving a small wave back.

I turned and sighed, crouching to check the dent in the car again. I’d have to try and get it to a garage at some point. As I walked back down the driveway, I realised that was probably the longest conversation I’d ever had with old Vic. He’d always seemed so standoffish, and the dog certainly hadn’t helped matters. Actually, he was pretty friendly. Maybe I’d just caught him in a good mood.

* * * * *

“You did what?” Lauren stood in the kitchen in her bathrobe, her hands on her hips. I’d come back in quietly, letting Lauren finish her bath before telling her what had happened.

“I know, I know,” I sighed. “It’s not that bad… well, it is… and it isn’t… but we’ll have to get it fixed.” I pulled out a stool from the breakfast bar and slid up onto it.

“You mean you’ll have to get it fixed!” Lauren said as she opened the dishwasher, bending to place our coffee mugs inside. “So, you didn’t even make it off the driveway?”

“Uh-uh…” I sat with my hands in my lap, feeling like a schoolgirl being told off.

Lauren straightened and closed the dishwasher door. She adjusted her hair where she had pinned it up for her bath. “Well, let’s not change our plans, we can sort the car out later. We can use the convertible today.”

“Yeah…” I said, rubbing at a mark on the kitchen counter with my thumb. “So, I saw old Vic while I was out there.” I glanced up at Lauren.

“You spoke to him?” Lauren asked sounding surprised.

“Yeah, he came out to see if I was okay.” I toyed with a loose strand of my blonde hair. “Oh, and I’m fine by the way.”

“I’m sorry honey,” Lauren said as she walked over to me and gave me a gentle hug. “You’ve gotten too good at looking okay. I need to check more… in general, I mean.” She pulled back, her eyes scanning my face for a moment.

“I’m fine really,” I said.

“So… uh, what did you two talk about?” Lauren asked, smoothing out her robe and sitting up on the stool beside me.

“Well, he just checked on me and helped straighten out the mailbox… oh, we’ll need another one of those too,” I added.

“Sounds like he was the perfect gentleman,” Lauren added with a smile. “Wait… did he ask who you were?” She grabbed my arm.

“Yeah, I kind of, sort of… said I was your cousin,” I looked up, sheepishly.

“My cousin?” Lauren looked away, exasperated. “Wait… why didn’t you just say you were Scott’s cousin?”

“Uhh… why didn’t I think of that,” I covered my face with my hands.

“So now anytime we see him—“

“Yes.”

“We’ll have to pretend we’re—“

“Yes!”

“Okay, whatever,” Lauren sighed, tapping the bar, her rings clicking against its surface. She looked across at me, shaking her head as her expression softened. “I can’t leave you alone for a moment, can I?”

“Nope, I’m a liability!” I laughed in my soft register.

Lauren rubbed her hand against my back. “Look, let me get ready real quick. Then we can go to the deli together.”

“Alright,” I nodded and smiled, feeling my spirits lift again. I reached back and tightened my ponytail. “I’ll find our picnic hamper and blanket. We can head straight off after we’ve bought the food. I’ve got an idea for a spot we can drive to… up in the hills.”

“That sounds perfect, honey,” Lauren said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. I watched as she got down from her stool and hurried back to the stairs, her pink robe bouncing at her thighs.

* * * * *

While Lauren got ready, I decided to make myself useful and headed back out front with a broom and dustpan. I made my way up the drive, feeling the stretch of my leggings as I worked my thighs against the incline. The SUV sat where I’d left it, tucked just short of the sidewalk now. I sighed, looking between the dented car and the misshapen mailbox pole. Even with Vic’s help it was a sorry sight. I looked up as a couple of cars drove past.

I began to sweep up the debris from the smashed side-light, collecting it into a pile. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to hurt themselves walking past, especially with all the dog owners around here. I began to sweep the broken shards into the dustpan, hearing another car approaching from down the road. It was a nice day, and that usually brought visitors from out of town to enjoy the hills and lakes.

“There, that will do,” I said to myself. I leaned on the broom for a moment. My tummy was starting to rumble and my mind drifted to what we might buy at the deli. Maybe some nice cheeses, some fresh bread…

It was only then that I noticed the approaching car seemed to be taking a long time to reach me. I looked over, watching as it rolled slowly past me, its silver body glinting in the sun, the black tinted windows showing only my own confused reflection. Then, as soon as it had cleared the house, it accelerated, speeding off down the road.

* * * * *

By the time Lauren came back downstairs, I had just finished hanging the laundry out on the porch. I held the empty basket against my hip as I slid the porch door shut behind me.

“Hi,” I said, as Lauren glided through into the kitchen. She wore a casual pale blue summer dress, the hemline flowing at her knees. Her brunette hair was loose, falling across her bare shoulders. “You look nice,” I added.

“Oh, thanks!” She swept her hands across her dress. “I just wanted something loose and comfortable for the picnic.”

“Hmm,” I nodded, then glanced down at my figure-hugging leggings for a moment. I set the laundry basket down and joined her at the counter. “I got the hamper and blanket out, do we need anything else?”

“I don’t think so,” Lauren said, “We’ll get everything we need at the deli.”

I began to scoop up my belongings from the kitchen counter — my wallet, phone, and the keys to the convertible. “Oh, do you mind parking the SUV back in the garage… I’m not sure I trust myself with it,” I said a little quietly.

“I don’t mind, honey,” Lauren said, looking at me.

I went to pick up the keys to the SUV, when the pile I was holding spilled from my small hands, clattering to the floor. My various cards scattered out of my wallet. We both bent down to pick everything up. I checked my phone screen, but there was no harm done.

Lauren placed the keys back onto the side and looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. “Wait here, I know something that will help.”

I nodded without really listening. As Lauren went upstairs, I started sorting through my cards, tucking them back into my wallet. I paused as I came to my driver’s license, seeing the photo of my male image staring serenely back at me. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world, but I knew better than that. He was always worrying about something.

My eyes scanned down further.

Sex male, height 5’ 11”

I wondered what would happen if I got pulled over. I didn’t actually have anyway of proving who I was. If I was stuck like this, then how was I supposed to even legally exist, or claim back my old identity? Was Scott Carter just going to be like an old email account that I’d forgotten the password to? Forever inaccessible. My mind quickly closed the door on that thought, as I tucked the license back into my wallet.

“Here we go,” Lauren said, her sandals tapping against the staircase as she made her way back down. She came over, placing two purses, and two pairs of sunglasses onto the kitchen counter. “Which one do you like the look of?” She adjusted the straps of the bags, as if arranging them for display. “It’s too warm to wear a jacket, and well... as you can see it gets a little tricky carrying everything. Especially if you plan on buying me lunch!” Lauren grinned at me.

“Oh, I’m paying, am I?” I smiled, planting my hands on my hips. “Why can’t they just put pockets in these things?” I said, running my hands across my dark grey leggings.

“Well, you wouldn’t want to spoil the line of the leggings, would you?” Lauren said, looking down.

“I guess not,” I replied, chewing on my bottom lip. “Wait, that reminds me, my panties aren’t showing through today, are they?” I turned my back to Lauren.

“Emma’s really got you hung up on this now, hasn’t she?” Lauren said. She gave my backside a little pat. “You’re fine. Now come on, which one do you want to use?”

I turned back around, gazing down at the two bags. One was a tan colour — with a flap and metal clasp, and a long, thick strap. The other was navy in colour, smaller, with a zip across the top.

“I think I like this one,” I said picking up the tan bag, feeling the leather.

“Good choice,” Lauren said. “You wear that one across your body, so it’s perfect for an outdoor day like today. The other one you could use if we’re out and about in town.”

My fingers drifted over the metallic clasp, clicking it open. I pulled the flap open, and looked in at the soft suede interior. There seemed to be a few different sections to use. I breathed in, looking up at Lauren. “Alright,” I agreed. I began to collect up my belongings, placing my wallet and keys in, with my phone slipping into one of the side compartments.

“Here, take these,” Lauren said, handing me one of the pairs of sunglasses. They were tinted brown and seemed a larger style than anything I was used to wearing.

“Thanks,” I said as I took them and carefully placed them into the bag. Lauren smiled as she flicked open the other pair and perched them on top of her head. She then turned and opened one of the kitchen drawers, pulling out out a travel pack of tissues.

“What are these for?” I asked as she handed them to me.

“Trust me, women always need a pack of tissues,” Lauren said, sounding sincere.

* * * * *

I set the house alarm, the electronic beep following me outside. I placed the wicker picnic hamper down beside me, with the red-and-white checked blanket folded neatly inside. Closing the door, I used my keys to lock up, before dropping them into my new tan leather bag. I carefully closed the clasp and then shifted it round on its strap so that it hung at my side. I turned, watching as Lauren effortlessly reversed the SUV back down the driveway and into the garage.

“Show off!” I said. I picked up the hamper by its handle and followed into the garage.

Lauren parked up and got out of the car, locking it behind her. “Don’t worry, it’s not that bad,” she said, as she noticed me looking down remorsefully at the dent and smashed side-light.

“You’re just trying to make me feel better about it,” I said.

“Yeah... you got me!” Lauren teased, as she walked round to open the driver’s door of the red convertible. As she got in, I opened the passenger door and brought the seat forward, placing the hamper on the back seat. I clicked the seat back into place and slid down into the car, bringing my purse round to rest on my lap. I pulled the seatbelt across my body, being careful not to catch my bruised side.

Lauren passed me her own cream coloured bag to hold and hit the ignition. The engine growled, making more of a statement than the practical SUV. Putting the car into gear, she pulled out of the garage, rising up the bank of the driveway. I reached across and hit the button next to the visor, then glanced back as the garage door closed shut behind us.

As Lauren pulled onto the main road, I looked across to Vic’s house.

“He must be lonely in that big old house by himself,” I found myself saying aloud.

“Hmm?” Lauren had her eyes on the road.

“Vic.”

“Oh... yes. I think he’s the sort of guy who likes his own company,” Lauren said, glancing across at me as she drove. “Besides, since when do you worry about Vic?”

I shrugged. “He was kind to me. That’s all.”

I gazed out at the trees as they rushed past the window. We turned away from the lake, in the opposite direction to where the town centre was, heading further out toward the hills.

“Oh, something strange happened while I was outside clearing up,” I said, suddenly remembering. “There was this car… it slowed right down as it went past the house and then sped off again.”

“Hmm,” Lauren pondered, as she signalled and turned up a narrow lane. “It was probably a realtor. You know they’re always on the lookout to buy up the properties around here.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense.” I breathed in, letting myself settle more, hitting the button to roll down the window.

* * * * *

Lauren pulled the convertible into one of the free parking spots. The road was quiet, with a hedge line and a row of trees along one side, and a handful of stores along the other.

“Need your nails done while we’re here?” Lauren joked as she killed the engine. I looked out, seeing we were parked outside a salon.

“No, I think I’m good today,” I said, making a play of checking my nails. I smiled at Lauren and unclipped my seat belt. Opening the car door, I swung my legs round and stepped out. Lauren got out and took a moment to smooth out her dress and flick her brunette hair back over her shoulders.

“Ready?” she asked, looking over the soft roof of the car.

I nodded and walked round, handing Lauren’s purse to her. I adjusted the leather strap of my own so it sat comfortably. We walked together, past the salon toward the deli. Lauren’s sandals tapped against the sidewalk, while my sneakers barely made a sound.

The deli’s store front was plain and unassuming. We’d been quite excited the first time we discovered it. It was like finding a secret place that not many people knew about. That obviously wasn’t the case, given how much fresh food they sold on a daily basis.

Lauren led the way, pushing the door open with both hands. I filed in close behind her. The first thing I noticed was the smell. The cheeses, the meats, the fresh fruit and vegetables. I didn’t remember noticing it like this before. The aircon ran extra cool and I felt my skin break into goosebumps. I folded my arms tight over my chest for warmth, flattening my breasts against my body.

Lauren grabbed one of the plastic baskets that were stacked by the door. “Take a look around. See what you fancy,” she said, her hand touching the small of my back, to guide me in. We made our way down the first aisle. The deli was cramped and narrow, but filled almost from floor to ceiling with everything you could want.

Lauren chose some salami from the chiller cabinet, while I grabbed a pot of hummus and dropped it into the basket. I carried on ahead of her and turned into the next aisle. I stopped in my tracks. There was a young man, crouched down in front of me. He held a label marker and was busy pricing up some jars.

He glanced up, seeming to double take when he noticed me. “Oh, err… hello!” He rose to his feet a little too quickly, his shoulder thumping against one of the higher shelves. I noticed his cheeks turn red. “Can I, uh, help you with anything today?” He looked to be around college age, with a mop of curly dark hair. It was like he didn’t realise quite how tall he was, his limbs awkward and angular. I found myself relating. If anyone could understand what it was like to be uncomfortable in their own body…

I smiled at the boy, trying to put him at ease. “Actually, do you have any of those sun-dried tomatoes?” I asked softly.

“Y-yes, let me just…” He turned quickly, his eyes scanning the shelves. He grabbed a jar from the top shelf and handed it down to me.

“Oh, great thanks.” As I took it, I noticed his gaze drop to my chest for just a moment. It was my turn to blush now and I turned away, only to find Lauren standing there at the end of the aisle watching the whole thing. She raised her eyebrows as she took the jar from me and placed it in the basket.

We continued into the next aisle, and mercifully it was empty. “Oh, grab a pack of those paper napkins, will you?” Lauren said, as she surveyed the shelves. She looked at me for a moment, a glint of mischief in her eyes. “Or do you need your toy-boy to reach them for you?” She bit her tongue teasingly.

“Lauren!” I said in a hushed voice, my eyes darting around, hoping that he hadn’t heard. My cheeks burned as I snatched the napkins from the shelf, throwing them in the basket to spite her.

In the last aisle, I grabbed a fresh baguette, squeezing it softly, the crusty outer layer cracking a little. I couldn’t help but bring it to my nose, inhaling the yeasty, freshly baked aroma. I added it to the basket. Another shopper — a middle-aged woman — smiled politely at us as we squeezed past.

We reached the cheeses and I almost took a step back as the strong aromas hit me. I reached for the soft brie, pre-wrapped in a waxy paper. My eyes closed as I brought it to my nose, breathing it in.

“Lauren, smell this, it’s incredible,” I said handing it to her.

Lauren sniffed it and nodded. “Yes, let’s get some.”

I was already lost in the manchego — a buttery scent with notes of something like… toasted hazelnuts.

“Amazing, let’s get this too,” I said, already putting it in the basket. Lauren seemed to watch me for a moment before nodding and carrying on.

We picked up a few more things, including a bottle of cloudy lemonade, and went up to the counter with our haul. I recognised the woman behind the counter from our previous trips. She greeted us warmly and professionally. She was maybe slightly older than us, with her brown hair worn in a tight bun and covered with a hairnet. To her we were just another couple of customers passing through. It wasn’t like Gabriella’s where she almost treated us like family.

The woman punched up the total on the register. It was expensive, but it would be worth it. I swung my bag round to my front and unclipped it. I reached in, but hesitated. I realised my old wallet looked a bit too conspicuous to be pulling out of a woman’s purse. I reached in for my phone instead and used it to tap and pay.

* * * * *

Lauren passed me the items one at a time out of the paper grocery bags. I leaned into the convertible, placing them carefully into the wicker hamper on the back seat.

“There,” I said, as I straightened and flicked my blonde ponytail back over my shoulder. I looked down at the car for a moment. “Lauren, I was thinking… I’d like to try driving.”

She looked a little surprised. “Are you sure? I really don’t mind driving us.”

“No… I want to.” I rested a hand on the soft top of the car.

“You’ll be careful though, won’t you? We’ve only got one car left!”

“I’ll be careful!” I said, rolling my eyes.

Lauren hesitated, not looking too convinced. She reluctantly handed me the key.

I walked round to the driver’s side, while Lauren clicked the passenger seat back into position and got in. I opened the door and pulled my bag off, reaching through to hand it to Lauren.

I slid into the seat and took a moment, getting used to the feel of the car. I placed my hands on the steering wheel, sliding along the grip. Compared to the SUV it felt contained and manageable. Lauren quickly reached for her seatbelt, but paused for a moment.

“Shall I get out and see you back?” she said, with a look of concern.

“I’ll be fine,” I said, reaching over to touch her arm. I fired up the engine, taking a moment to orient myself, getting used to the resistance of the brake pedal under my foot. Finally, I released the parking brake and slowly reversed back onto the empty road. “There see?” I smiled across at Lauren. I put the car into forward gear and pressed the accelerator. The convertible lurched forward, and I quickly braked again. Both our seatbelts clicked as they pulled taut against our bodies. “Sorry!” I winced.

“Just… go slowly,” Lauren said gripping the dashboard tightly.

* * * * *

“Where are we going?” Lauren asked as she gazed out of the passenger window. I’d started to pick up a little more speed now, getting more used to the smaller vehicle. It felt good to... be in control of something again.

“There’s a spot I had in mind,” I said, glancing across at her. I hit the button for the roof and slowly it retracted back over our heads. The cool air whipped around us. Lauren smiled over at me, reaching up to hold her brunette hair in place.

I turned onto a winding road, starting to thread our way up one of the hills. I pressed the gas pedal more firmly to make it up the steep gradient, the engine roaring. As I drove, the sunlight found us, feeling warm against my face and bare arms. Lauren flicked her sunglasses down from the top of her head and then reached for my tan purse. She opened it and found my own pair. She handed them to me and I slipped them on, the green grass of the hill taking on a sepia tint.

I could tell from the corner of my eye that Lauren was watching me. I reached up, brushing back a few loose strands of blonde hair as they blew about my face. I flicked on the car stereo, searching for some distraction. It connected to Lauren’s phone and Taylor Swift began to play through the speakers.

Lauren began to sing along, tapping her hand against the side of the passenger door. Before long, I found my own soft voice rising up and joining hers. Our voices blended differently now. I was used to my deeper voice sitting under Lauren’s register, but now we sang in unison, high and light.

“Standing in your cardigan, kissing in my car again, stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you.”

Lauren harmonized on the last line, our laughter carrying on the breeze as we drove higher.

* * * * *

I pulled the convertible over into a lay-by at the side of the road and turned off the engine.

“Here we are,” I said, pointing over towards a line of tall trees. The hill levelled off on one side, with a trail leading across a wide, even stretch of grass. To our left the hill climbed a little further to the top, but staying on this side ensured we were sheltered from the wind.

“It looks perfect,” Lauren said, as she ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it out.

We both got out and Lauren handed me my purse. I slipped it over my head, freeing my ponytail with a quick flick. I came round to get the wicker hamper out of the back of the car.

“Uh, how are we supposed to eat all this?” I groaned as I hefted the hamper, surprised at its weight now that it was full of the food from our shopping trip.

“Here, let me help.” Lauren grabbed the other end of the basket and we carried it between us across the grass, heading over towards the trees.

There was a mix of red and yellow flowers growing around the trees, but we found a clearing and set the hamper down. “Oh, they smell lovely,” I said, drifting over towards the flowers.

Lauren smiled at me. She breathed in the fresh air, gazing out from the hill. “Wow, look at the view!”

I stepped up beside her, slipping my sunglasses up on top of my head. “Look… see over there?” I pointed down.

“What am I looking at?” Lauren said scanning around at the countryside.

I gently turned her face with my hand, my cheek pressing against her shoulder as I pointed again. “There, see? The lake.”

“Oh, wow. It looks so small from up here.” She smiled, then turned her head, surprised to find me hovering so close. We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. Lauren cleared her throat and turned away, bending down to pull the red-and-white checked blanket from the hamper. “Here, grab an end,” she said. As I took the corners of the blanket, I noticed Lauren’s cheeks looked a little flushed.

We laid the picnic blanket out on the grass, then emptied the hamper between us, arranging the food from the deli, along with some paper plates, plastic cups and wooden forks. Lauren settled down, folding her legs beside her, her pale blue dress fanning across her thighs.

I knelt down in my grey leggings, slipping my purse off and setting it down beside me. I reached for the lemonade bottle and unscrewed the cap. Lauren held out the plastic cups as I poured. We knocked our cups together and both took a sip. I wasn’t exactly sure what we were toasting. Maybe making it through another day was enough. Lauren tapped her phone and set it down, her Taylor album picking up where it left off.

Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry, I’m setting off, but not without my muse.

* * * * *

We sat there in the clearing, partially under the shade of one of the trees, eating from the paper plates. The bread was fresh, and the brie in particular tasted heavenly. We were mostly quiet, enjoying the view and listening to the music.

When we were finished, Lauren let her legs stretch out in front of her, propping herself back on her elbows. I watched her chest rise as she drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she looked over at me. “So… about that talk you promised me,” she said quietly.

I exhaled and nodded, slipping my sunglasses off and folding them. I didn’t say anything for a minute or two, picking at the grass that was stuck to the bottom of my sneakers. “It’s just… what if this is it? What if this is us now?” I said at last.

Lauren’s face softened, looking a little crestfallen. “I know… I’ve been thinking it too,” she said, her voice wavering just a little.

I was a little surprised by her answer. Maybe I’d been expecting her to reassure me — one of Lauren’s pep talks. Telling us to take one day at a time and to keep ourselves moving forward.

“But… how does this work… between us?” I said, feeling a little shaken.

Lauren reached across for my hand, clasping it gently. “Do you love me, Scott” she asked, staring deep into my eyes.

“So much…” I sobbed, feeling tears run down my cheeks.

“And I love you so much. That’s never going to change,” she said, rubbing her thumb against the back of my hand. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here… for whatever you need.”

“But… I don’t need a carer… a need a wife,” I said, sniffing. “And you… you need a husband.”

Lauren sat forward and reached for my purse. She unclasped it and found the pack of tissues. “See, I told you you’d need these.” She smiled warmly, though her eyes glistened a little.

I blurted a laugh through my tears, pulling a tissue free and wiping at my eyes. “You’re pretty good at that,” I smiled, my lower lip still quivering a little.

“At what?”

“At knowing just what I’ll need. I mean look at me,” I said, glancing down at myself, dressed in Lauren’s fitted sage t-shirt, leggings and sneakers. Then there was the panties and bra I wore underneath, the hairband in my hair, and the wedding ring necklace resting just above my cleavage. “I wouldn’t have managed any of this without you.” I squeezed her hand.

Lauren gazed out across the landscape. To the lake… to our house… and the memories of the last ten days.

“I… I pushed you,” she whispered, almost inaudible against the music that still played softly in the background.

“What?” I asked as Lauren lowered her head, looking… ashamed. “What are you talking about?”

“I… I thought I was helping…” she said looking up, her own eyes filled with tears now. “But you heard what Rourke and Shaw both said… about how well you’d adapted…” Lauren’s voice stammered with her emotion. “I-I made everything too comfortable for you… that’s why they deprioritised the cure!”

“Lauren please, you can’t take that on yourself,” I said, feeling my heart sinking from hearing her talk like this. “You never once made me do anything I didn’t want to do.” I pulled another tissue from the packet and handed it to her.

Lauren dabbed at her eyes and then blew her nose. “Even the bra?” she said looking up with a faltering smile.

“Even the bra,” I said, smiling back and handing her another tissue. We both took deep breaths, kneeling in front of each other, searching each other’s faces, silently checking that we were okay. The music had stopped playing. There were no more songs left.

“Listen,” I said at last, tucking a strand of Lauren’s hair back behind her ear. “There’s a reason I chose this spot. I want to show you something.” I rose to my feet, brushing my thighs down, then offered a hand down to Lauren.

“What is it?” She took my hand and stood up, the sadness in her eyes giving way to curiosity.

“Come on… it’s just up here.” I smiled and led Lauren by the hand to the trail that ascended steeply, leading up to the highest point of the hill.

We didn’t have too far to climb, but I could feel the burn in my thighs and the heaving of my chest. The last twenty metres were steeper. the ground loose and uneven.

“If I’d known we were doing this, I wouldn’t have worn sandals!” Lauren said, as I helped pull her up onto a step in the hillside. We were almost at the top when my own footing slipped, skidding in the dewy grass. I felt Lauren’s arm wrap around my waist and together we stepped up to the top of the hill.

I placed my hands on my hips, catching my breath. We were no longer sheltered and the wind whipped around us. Lauren held her skirt in place with one hand as she gazed out into the distance, at the misty grey haze of the mountains. I pointed down into the valley on the other side of the hill.

“Axis…” Lauren said quietly, her eyes widening.

The laboratory sprawled before us, looking like a vast spider made of concrete and metal, lying at the centre of a web.

For a moment we stood in silence, looking down to where our destinies had been changed.

No — more like twisted… shaped.

“I’m ready,” I said, my gaze still fixed. “I want to fight this.”

I could sense Lauren looking at me. “Are you sure, Scott? Because you have to be sure. We’ve seen what they’re like when we… when I provoked them.”

I turned to look at my wife now, seeing a sad regret in her eyes. I felt my heartbeat beginning to thump in my chest. It was a recognisable feeling. One that had been slow to come, but now surfaced freely.

It was anger.

“We’re going to do more than provoke them,” I said taking a deep breath. “We’re going to get legal help. Take them down. We’re going to make them give us the cure.”

Lauren nodded, her own expression shifting to something steelier and more determined. “Yes… yes, let’s do this. We’ll talk to Emma… she can contact her cousin in the city.”

We embraced, our cheeks pressed together, whispering into each other’s ear at the same time.

“Go get ‘em.”

We finally pulled back, looking down into the valley once more. Axis Laboratories looked different from up here.

It looked small.

* * * * *

CONTINUE TO DAY TWELVE