Rascal's First Halloween
By
Rebecca Anna Coleman

-5-
Mercury Power, Make-Up!

Once mom and I finished eating breakfast, I started on the chore of clearing away the dishes we used. It took me a few moments to collect all the dishes, and then a few more minutes to wash them, and a few more minutes to dry them with an old dish towel before I returned them to the cupboard where they lived. Once all that was done, I turned toward mom who was looking at me and smiling like a house cat who had just snatched the song bird from the iron cage and still had its feathers floating around its mouth.

“Okay, you've piddled enough.” Mom stated as she pushed the Amazon parcel across the table toward me. “Go ahead and open it.”

I blushed and took a deep breath as I opened the package. I felt my cheek bones a rose red color, I could feel the heat of the blush. As I reached into the parcel and pulled out what appeared to be a form fitting white blouse attached, the bottom was a fake leather skirt that was blue in color. Up next a pair of satin, opera gloves came out of the package. Up next, a blue, leather choke came out, that was followed by a bronze colored tiara that had a tear drop, fake, rhinestone, blue sapphire in the middle. And finally, a pair of tall leather boots.

“I went ahead and ordered the matching boots too. Sure they're going to get wet when you go into the dunking booth. But given how short the skirt is, they're going to provide a bit of modesty.” Mom commented.

I thought that was everything until from the box came a very, form fitting blue bathing suit. It was a solid navy blue one piece bathing suit, I blinked and peered toward mom as I held up the swim suit.

“I also ordered you a one piece navy blue swimsuit. It's going to shape your belly, that you have one. But it's also going to add some much needed modesty. The blouse, if you've noticed is white, white becomes transparent when wet. You're going to get wet in a dunking tank. And well, having a bunch of strangers seeing the outline of your swimsuit is far less embarrassing than having them seeing the outline of your bra. Plus the swimsuit has sewn in padding and support.” Mom said in a matter of fact tone of voice as she sipped her coffee.

“..” I was speechless. Words seemed to fail me when I held up two plastic mounds. “Okay mom the swimsuit makes sense, but what are these?”

“Those would be 'Silicon chicken fillets' or just 'chicken cutlets'. Those are soft, realistic, silicone inserts designed to boost your chest and give you the appearance of having breasts. Which is what you want.” Mom paused. “That should give you a nice 'B' or 'C' cup. Which will keep people from asking too many questions.”

“Mom!” I said feeling a fresh wave of blush forming again. “How much money did you spend?!”

“Around one hundred seventy dollars and fifteen cents.” Mom paused and took a sip of her coffee. “That's how I spent it. I charged it to your dads Amazon Store card. We share an Amazon Store account. I mean he's loaded. He makes buckets of money working on the Mississippi River. I doubt he even checks his monthly bank statement.”

I titled my head to the side.

“Listen, I know what you're going to say and I agree with you. Stealing is wrong, and one should never steal. But you gotta take this into consideration. One he left us when you were fourteen. Two, besides the handsome divorce settlement he is still going to be paying child support until you're eighteen in a few short months. So the cow is about to run out of milk. With that in mind you might as well get every ounce of milk you can as long as the cow is still making milk. Three, he has a totally new, perfect, family. Fourth, once you turn eighteen you'll never get anything from him again. And last, but not least, considering how much he dotes on his step-son and step-daughter.”

“Okay I get you, I get you.”

“Plus he spends most of his time on the bloody river anyway. Traveling on a barge between New Orleans and Chicago for weeks at a time. And when he does come home to his pretty, little, barbie doll, cookie-cutter wife, and his two perfect kids, and that picture perfect little creole cottage in the heart of New Orleans fashionable district. With its perfectly mowed yard, white fence and their pure breed dog.. he was not thinking about his bank statement, or his Amazon store card, or you, or your older sister, or I.” Mom forced herself to stop rambling.

“.. Mom, are you okay?”

Mom, who seemed flustered, started to calm down a little.

“I'm good, just a little mommy rant.” Mom said smiling. “Go ahead and put everything on.” Mom said smiling it was a clear forced smile. “Start with the swimsuit.”

It took me around twenty minutes to put on everything. The swimsuit I noticed was form fitting, but was cut in the style of the classic Japanese school swimsuit I've seen dozens of times on beach centered episodes of my favorite Saturday morning anime series. The little flap at the bottom did kind of give me a somewhat smooth appearance. Up next came the chicken cutlets, which I'm not going to lie to you, really gave my chest a boost.

Up next came the boots, which were a pain to put on. And finally the white blouse, and blue leather skirt. I forgot to mention the blouse was also in the fashion of a Japanese school uniform blouse, so it had a flap collar and it came with a big bow. The flap collar looked cute, but the bow took some effort. Finally the gloves, the choker and the tiara.

“Wow.” I said, taking a deep breath. “All of this weighs a ton!”

Once everything was on, I walked back into the kitchen.

“Adorable you're going to make a real splash in the dunk tank!”

And that is how another chapter in my strange life came to an end.