A TURN OF THE MOON
by
Jessica Drew

Day Eighteen
Good Boy

I stood in front of the full-length mirror, running a hand over my bare midriff. The blinds were still drawn and I was relying solely on the light from the skylight above. Even in the dimness of the bedroom, I could see how the black crop top and gym leggings clung to my body like a second skin.

I heard Lauren stirring from the bed and looked over to see her stretching beneath the covers. I stepped over and crouched by her side. “Hey, honey,” I whispered, stroking a hand through her brunette hair. “I’m just going to go for a quick run.”

“Hmm?” Lauren murmured sleepily, lifting her head a little. “Oh… Okay. Be careful.” She smiled and closed her eyes again, nestling back into the pillow.

I leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, trailing my hand along the length of her arm and walking back around to the vanity table. I grabbed a hairband and pulled my blonde hair through into a simple ponytail. Glancing over at my phone on the bedside table, I wondered if I should take it with me. I decided to leave it. I didn’t want the hassle of carrying it, or the risk of dropping it. Plus, I didn’t intend to run for long. Just enough to get a little fresh air and clear my head from yesterday. From thoughts of Philippa and her research, and the discovery that my genes were the secret to unlocking her life’s work. And then there was Rachel, and the prospect of building a legal case to take on Axis Laboratories. All big topics we could use a rest from today, especially as Lauren would be starting her new contract with Riverside tomorrow.

I hovered at the doorway, looking back at Lauren, seeing the bedcovers rising and falling gently with her breathing.

* * * * *

I strode up to the top of the driveway, pausing to look across the street towards Vic’s house. It was still early and quiet. The branches of the tree in his front garden swayed gently. I figured I should probably check in on him again soon. He’d seemed so lonely when I’d been at his house the other day. I couldn’t even imagine what it must have been like for him to lose his wife after so many years together.

I pulled my left leg up behind me, stretching my quad, before doing the same with my right. I then hooked my heel up onto the low wall that ran across the front of our yard, and leaned low, my gym leggings stretching as I held my ankle. I shook myself out and began to run up the road.

The clouds had begun to clear, but the ground was still wet from the day before. The morning sun shimmered in the puddles along the street and my sneakers slapped wetly against the ground. Before long the road veered away from the lake and I was heading toward a row of houses. I picked up a little more speed, my ponytail swaying behind my head and my chest jumping lightly beneath my sports top.

As I turned into one of the side streets, I ran past a man coming out of his house with his dog, ready to take it for an early walk. “Morning!” I called, cheerily. The man smiled and waved back. Things felt a little brighter today and it wasn’t just the weather.

As I ran, I thought back to the last couple of nights with Lauren. I felt closer to her now than I had in my last couple of weeks of being a woman, and it made me realise just how much that intimacy had been missing between us. The date night had felt like it had a lot of expectation behind it and — like Emma had said — I’d been too caught up in my own head. Last night felt more natural, and it was a relief that we’d agreed not to force anything. We were kissing again — which was nice, if a little different. So, maybe intimacy didn’t have to mean sex. And maybe that was okay.

I jogged out into the quiet, empty road, giving a woman walking ahead of me a wide berth so I didn’t startle her. A little further on I could hear the roar of traffic on the main road up ahead. I took the pedestrian path off to my right that curved down toward the underpass.

I slowed to a brisk walk, my hands on my hips as I caught my breath. My footsteps echoed in the dimly lit underpass, a few drops of rainwater still working their way through and tapping at the asphalt.

The light of the tunnel exit dimmed as a man entered the underpass directly ahead of me. He was cast in silhouette, but seemed to have the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head, making his face even harder to see. He looked down at his wrist, then back up toward me.

I gradually slowed to a halt, the man’s thudding footsteps echoing around me, as if he were right there next to me.

Nope.

I turned around, playing it as cool as I could, as I started to walk back the way I had come. The underpass suddenly seemed even longer. Even darker. The man’s footsteps picked up their pace, jogging faster behind me. My hands slid around my tight leggings, searching for pockets — searching for a phone that wasn’t there.

“Just keep walking,” I muttered to myself, wishing I hadn’t gone out alone. Wishing that Lauren was with me. I started to jog faster.

And then I was running, my heart thumping in my chest. As I emerged from the underpass, I almost ran straight into the woman I had passed earlier.

“Oh, careful!” she said, clasping my shoulders to steady me. I looked into her eyes for a second then ran past her, up the curving slope that led back to the safety of the road. I paused at the top, just long enough to look back and see the man emerge from the underpass.

“Sorry I’m late!” I heard him say, throwing his hood back and leaning in to kiss the woman.

“Hurry up or we’ll miss the bus!” the woman replied, smiling and slipping her hand into his.

* * * * *

By the time I reached the front door of the lake-house I was out of breath again. I steadied myself against the door frame, wheezing, having run flat out all the way back. I knew it was just a misunderstanding. I knew there was no real danger. But that didn’t stop my body from believing otherwise. Or maybe I’d run back out of embarrassment.

I entered the hallway, closing the door behind me. As my breathing started to slow, I grew increasingly annoyed with myself. Great. I’d just had a classic ‘fight or flight’ moment and discovered I was a 'flyer'. More like shooting straight up in the sky like a rocket. When had that happened? When had I started to feel so… vulnerable? It was just some dumb guy in a hoodie. I mean, I used to be a dumb guy in a hoodie.

As I walked through into the open-plan living area, I caught sight of myself in the tall mirror on the wall. I paused, seeing my flushed face, my hair clinging to my forehead. My chest rose and fell in my sports crop top, my bare midriff glistening with perspiration. The black gym leggings clung to the curve of my hips, a pink stripe running down the side of each leg. My gaze settled on the flat, inward curve between my legs.

I blame you, I thought to myself. Even standing with my legs together, there was an ever-present triangular gap. Small, but noticeable with the sunlight from the windows directly behind me.

I went over to the fridge and grabbed myself a bottle of water, glugging half of it down in one go. Wiping at my lips, I looked over towards the counter and my wedding ring necklace. I set the water bottle down and picked it up, slipping it back over my head and flicking my ponytail free. Straightening it at my chest, I took a deep breath, feeling complete again.

I walked over to the staircase. I hadn’t even been gone that long, and Lauren had looked as though she’d been ready to go straight back to sleep after I’d left. I made my way up, my thighs burning still from the run. Walking down the hall, I saw the bedroom door was shut, a faint light escaping from the bottom edge and bleeding out into the hallway. As I approached, I began to hear a faint buzzing sound. My fingers curled around the door handle.

“Uhh…”

I froze as I heard Lauren from inside the room. Her voice was soft, high pitched… yearning.

“Mmm…” Her sighs mingled with the background hum of what sounded like an electric toothbrush. No, wait…

I slowly let go of the door handle and took a step back. Shit. I tiptoed back down the hall, creeping in an exaggerated fashion to the top of the stairs. I glanced back to the closed bedroom door, then hurried back down the stairs.

Shit, shit, shit.

* * * * *

I stepped outside, carefully and quietly closing the front door behind me. I’d actually left the house! What was wrong with me? I paced up and down the driveway, flexing my fingers as I wondered what I should do. Maybe I could jog around the block again. That would kill some time. What, and let another irrational fear chase after me? Maybe I could wait in the garage. Just until she’d… finished. And how long would that be?

I paused, taking a deep breath as I gazed up at the trees, watching them gently sway in the breeze. I couldn’t let Lauren know. That I knew that she’d been… I mean, I didn’t even know she owned a… Why did she feel the need to… Was she frustrated that nothing had properly happened between us yet? Or was it that she needed Scott, rather than me?

If Lauren could see me now, she’d be reassured that I was exactly the same insecure idiot that I’d always been. All women did this, didn’t they? Men definitely did. It wasn’t like I hadn’t taken matters into my own hands on more than a few occasions. Of course I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d done it. Or what it felt like.

I folded my arms across my chest, the chill in the air making a shiver go up my spine. I was still dressed in my sports crop top and leggings, and wondered whether I should sneak back in to grab a jacket. This was so stupid. I was afraid to go back into my own house! But I couldn’t hang around outdoors all morning, could I? I sighed, finding myself looking up the driveway, over to Vic’s house on the other side of the street.

* * * * *

I crossed the road and began to march up Vic’s driveway, slowing to admire the neat line of flower beds that ran around the perimeter of his lawn. I rang the doorbell, causing Toby to bark fiercely from within. I flinched and took a few steps back, still hugging my arms around me, partly for warmth and partly for comfort.

Latches and bolts clicked, and the door cracked open, a chain still across. “What do you want?” Vic grumbled, his wrinkled face peering out at me. “Oh, it’s you, hon!” His voice softened and he pulled the chain free and opened the door. He smoothed a hand over his red and black chequered shirt and smiled broadly from beneath his white beard. “I didn’t scare you off the last time then?”

“No, of course not!” Toby bounded up and I bent down to greet him, scratching behind his ear. “How are you, Vic?” I asked, looking up.

“Alive.” Vic chuckled and turned, making his way back inside. He just seemed to assume I would follow. I glanced behind me, toward the lake-house, then stepped in, closing the door behind me.

“Still not found any kids your own age to play with?” Vic said, his laugh turning into a cough as I followed him through into the living room. He flopped down on his favourite armchair, placing a hand on his chest to steady himself.

“Yeah, something like that,” I said. No, they were busy playing with themselves. I cast my eyes around the room, which seemed to be in much the same state as the last time I’d visited. I couldn’t help myself and began to collect up a few of the discarded newspapers, forming a neat pile on the coffee table.

“Oh, stop fussing, woman!” Vic said, waving his hand at me. Toby yawned and circled, lying down at Vic’s feet.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop!” I said, holding up my hands.

* * * * *

The water from the tap ran across the surface of the plate as I angled it, rinsing away the last of the suds. It clinked as I set it down on the rack next to the wash basin. I pulled off my rubber gloves with a snap and hung them over the tap.

“There, that’s better,” I said aloud, feeling pretty pleased with myself. I stood with my hands planted on my hips as I looked around at the clean kitchen. I turned my attention to Vic’s kitchen table, collecting together all his prescriptions with a paperclip that I’d found. The kettle clicked off and I poured us both a cup of tea. I didn’t really like tea, but Vic seemed to have run out of coffee. In fact, he’d run out of a lot of things. I opened the fridge, and pulled out a carton of milk, sniffing at it cautiously.

I turned and emptied it at arm’s length into the sink.

Setting two black teas onto a tray, I carried them through into the living room.

“Hmp. I don’t like tea without milk,” Vic said, groaning as I set a cup down on the arm of his chair. My wedding ring necklace swayed from my neck as I leaned forward.

“Oh, be quiet!” I teased, sitting on the end of the sofa closest to his armchair. “Your milk was like a thousand years old!” As I looked over, the thought entered my head that with his red shirt and white beard, Vic looked like a dishevelled Santa waiting for someone to sit on his knee. I dipped my head and smiled to myself.

“What are you smirking about?” Vic asked, raising a bushy eyebrow.

“Nothing.” I smiled, toying with my necklace. I noticed Vic’s gaze flick down and he suddenly sat forward a little in his seat.

“Did you... did you lose someone?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“What?” I glanced down, holding out my wedding ring on the end of its chain. “Oh, I see... Uh... well, I guess I did.”

“You poor thing. And so young.” Vic shook his head. “And there I was going on about Sarah the last time, when you’ve lost someone too.”

“It’s fine... really.” I looked away, wishing I hadn’t said anything. We sat quietly for a moment, the ticking of the clock on Vic’s mantelpiece sounding overwhelmingly loud. I rubbed at my bare arms, feeling cold all of a sudden.

“It’s like a part of your soul disappears, isn’t it?” Vic said at last, his eyes glistening.

I cleared my throat, feeling a wave of emotion well up inside of me. “Yeah... it is,” I said, my voice cracking. “Listen, I just need to... use the bathroom.” I stood up quickly, turning away from Vic so he couldn’t see my eyes.

* * * * *

I turned off the bathroom taps, wiping at my cheeks and under my eyes. At least I wasn’t wearing makeup. The emotion had taken me by surprise. I felt guilty for lying to Vic, but at the same time I felt that same sense of loss that Vic had described to me.

I reached back, retying my ponytail, and then tugged on the bottom of my sports top, trying to cover up more of my exposed middle. In Vic’s old-fashioned home, I suddenly felt a little indecent. I took a deep breath, composing myself, and unlatched the door, stepping out into the cramped hallway.

Vic’s home was all on one level, and a little way down I noticed his bedroom door was open. I stepped slowly over, the floorboards creaking under my sneakers. As I approached, I caught sight of a bucket of water in the corner of the room, with the occasional droplet of water splashing down from above. As I looked up, I saw there was a brown stain spread across the ceiling.

“Ahh!”

A sudden shriek escaped my lips as Vic stepped out from the doorway. He stopped suddenly, as taken by surprise as I was.

“My god, Susie! What are you doing sneaking around?” he said, a little annoyed — either with me, or himself.

“Me?” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “You’re the one jumping out of doorways!”

“Hmp. I don’t think I’ve jumped since the eighties,” he said with a grin. He pulled the bedroom door firmly shut behind him and handed me a grey woollen cardigan. “Here.”

“What’s this for?”

“I noticed you were cold earlier... This was Sarah’s,” he said, scratching at the hair at the back of his neck.

“Thank you, Vic,” I said, sincerely, running my hand across the soft fabric. I held it out in front of me, then wrapped the cardi around me. It was oversized and felt like a warm hug.

We walked back through into the living area to finish our tea. I sat with my legs crossed, sipping and listening, while Vic moaned about the weather we’d been having.

“Listen, Vic...” I began, setting my cup down and wincing at the aftertaste of the black tea. “What was going on back there? What’s with the bucket in the bedroom?”

“Hmm? Ah, well, you see when it rains, the water tends to collect on the roof, and slowly leaks through. It’ll have stopped by tomorrow… providing it doesn’t rain again.”

“Vic, you should fix that,” I said, looking at him seriously. He rolled his eyes once more. At the nagging woman.

“Eh. I’ll get around to it.” He leaned forward to scratch at the scruff of Toby’s neck.

“Vic, if you need some help around here, I could take a look at the roof and—”

“Ha! You? Fix the roof?” He chuckled and broke into another cough.

“Well, why not? Just because I’m a woman, doesn’t mean—”

“It’s not about you being a woman, hon. It’s the fact that you still haven’t fixed Scott’s mailbox, or his car either I bet.”

I pulled my borrowed cardigan tighter around me and huffed. “Touché.” But he was right. The porch... the car... the mailbox. I’d told myself the same thing. I’d get around to it.

“Grief has a way of pulling you away from things. Things that no longer seem as important as the things going on in here,” Vic said, tapping a finger against the left side of his chest.

I stared at Vic. No, not Santa. More like Yoda.

“Well, what about your garden?” I said, gesturing toward the window.

“What about it?”

“Well... it’s perfect.”

“Ahh...” Vic’s eyes sparkled and a smile formed. He laced his fingers, resting them on his round stomach. “I promised her, you see.”

“Sarah?” I asked.

Vic nodded. “She loved the garden. Loved nature... flowers.” He gestured at some of Sarah’s magnificent line drawings that hung on the walls. Her intricate studies of flowers and trees... birds and insects. Suddenly it all made sense. Why everything was perfect on the outside. But less so on the inside.

“Maybe I can pick up some groceries for you,” I said, leaning over to clasp his large weathered hand, “and whatever prescriptions you’ve got left uncollected out there in the kitchen.”

“It’s Sunday...” Vic said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze back before letting go.

“Right. Tomorrow then.”

“Do I get a choice?”

“No.” I rose to my feet and picked up our empty teacups to take back into the kitchen. “But there is something we need to take care of today,” I said, looking down at Toby. He let out a whine, his brown eyes staring up at me.

* * * * *

My feet crunched on the gravelled path that led around the west side of the lake. Beside me, Toby’s paws tapped buoyantly. I kept a firm grip on his lead, and smiled down at him, the breeze sweeping across the lake and ruffling his black and brown fur.

“Good boy!” I soothed him. Despite the German Shepherd’s size, he didn’t seem to pull too much — which was just as well, as I was pretty sure if he decided to go off somewhere, I was coming too!

Vic had been a bit cagey about the last time he’d given Toby some decent exercise. I couldn’t remember ever having seen them out together. Not beyond the front lawn, anyway. It seemed a shame with the lake right on his doorstep.

Toby stopped — and I stopped too — as he cocked his leg and peed up yet another bush. I turned, looking back toward the lake-house. I could see the blinds in the bedroom window had been pulled up and a window opened.

We continued up the path and before long I could see a man walking toward us. Suddenly I felt myself tense, though Toby marched us onward toward the stranger. Toby’s pace increased and I found myself tripping along after him, my ponytail swaying. “Whoa, boy...” I said, then immediately felt stupid. He’s not a horse! “Toby, stop! Halt!”

As we got closer, I could see the man looked genuinely alarmed now, clutching his map book to his chest. Toby began snarling and barking.

The man hopped over onto the grass verge, and by luck I managed to steer Toby away from him. He hurried away behind us. “Sorry! Sorry!” I called after him. Great. Twenty minutes with Toby and I was already the world’s worst owner.

We continued on up the path, mercifully free of any more encounters. I didn’t want to be responsible for some story turning up in one of Vic’s newspapers, about a terror-dog roaming the lakes. After a while, I began to relax into the walk, allowing myself a smile as I watched some geese coming in to land on the lake. They extended their webbed feet, causing a spray of water to rise up. Toby panted lazily, and turned his head to watch, more curious than anything.

“Oh, I see — you’ve only got it in for men,” I said, leaning down to rub the top of his head. “Well, I can’t say I blame you!”

* * * * *

The newly-built house at the opposite end of the lake soon came into view and we walked toward the gate at the north end of the path. I could see the pale blue Harper and Hayes truck parked up outside. Oh, great... Chip and Dale...

“End of the line, Toby,” I said, smiling down at him. The breeze lifted the stray strands of my blonde hair. “Time to get you back.”

“Oh, hey!” came a voice from out of nowhere. A man stood up from behind the rear of the truck.

It was Chip. Fuck, no... I need to stop saying that. His name was Jack. He must have been bent down, checking a tyre or something.

He started to jog toward us, and I immediately felt Toby tense on the lead. “Uh, don’t... he doesn’t like men!” I called out, over the sound of Toby’s barking.

“What?” Jack shouted as he approached. Toby jumped up at the gate.

This was it. Jack was about to lose his face...

He stopped just short of the gate and held his hands up. Toby let out a low growl.

“I… tried to… warn you,” I said, desperately pulling on Toby’s lead to get him away from the gate.

“It’s okay, he’s just a little anxious,” Jack said. His longish brown hair ruffled a little in the breeze, strands catching at the coarseness of a couple of days’ worth of stubble. He wore a white t-shirt that seemed to cling to him. “Wait here a second!” He went back over to the truck and opened the driver’s door. I peered over, watching as he grabbed something from his bag.

“Easy, Toby,” I soothed, giving another futile tug at his lead. Toby pulled forward, sniffing through the gaps in the wooden slats of the gate.

“Alright, open the gate,” Jack said, coming back over.

“Are you crazy? Do you want to die?” I said.

“Trust me.”

I sighed, muttering to myself as I lifted the chain that looped over the post at the side of the gate. Suddenly Toby slipped from my grasp and darted through, running over to Jack. My heart leaped, but Jack just calmly crouched. The dog slowed, sniffing at Jack’s hand, then nuzzled against his palm. Jack peeled and broke off a piece of banana, offering it to Toby.

Jack smiled warmly as Toby gently took it. Toby made short work of it and Jack then fed him another piece. He stayed crouched, holding his palms open as Toby cautiously sniffed, looking for more.

I tightened the cord of my cardigan and walked over. “He… doesn’t like men,” I repeated quietly to myself, watching as Jack literally had Toby now eating out of the palm of his hand.

“See, there’s nothing to worry about.” Jack patiently let Toby inspect him and get used to him, and only then did he slowly bring his hand up, scratching behind Toby’s ear. “There we go, you just needed some reassurance, didn’t you boy,” Jack said, fussing him some more. Toby pressed into his hand, panting. He then rose up, pushing his large paws on Jack’s shoulders and leaning in to lick at his face. Jack let himself topple back with Toby and begin scratching at the large dog’s flanks. “Haha, I got you now!” I could see the flex in Jack’s arms — the tension in his muscles as he grappled Toby, rolling and rough-housing him. I was actually a little impressed that Jack had the strength to go toe-to-toe with Toby, bracing his weight against him. His large hands buried in Toby’s fur, his face lighting up with genuine delight.

As I watched I felt a flutter in my stomach. A warmth seemed to spread through me, settling low in my body.

What the fuck was that?

“Ahem... So, uh, are you finished with the house yet?” I asked, feeling my cheeks redden.

Jack rose back to his feet as Toby bounded off into the grass in front of the house.

“Yeah, it’s all ready,” he said, looking down at me. “It’s Susie, right? From Gabriella’s.” Jack wiped his hand on his jeans and held it out. I reached out and his large hand enveloped mine.

“And you’re Jack,” I said, wagging a finger at him.

“Well, it’s a good job we’re here to remind each other of our names,” Jack said, grinning.

I laughed. A high-pitched tinkling laugh that I then worried sounded too over-the-top. I folded my arms across my chest, and stepped past him, gazing over towards Toby and the house.

“Well, what do you think?” Jack asked, turning to stand beside me as I looked up at the house. Although the house was deliberately modern in appearance, it looked a little too cool and sterile. But maybe it was just because it hadn’t been lived in yet.

“Hmm... it’s okay,” I said, shrugging. I watched as Toby sniffed at the support beams at the rear of the house. “Actually, we kind of liked having the lake to ourselves. Now, we’ll probably get some noisy asshole moving in here.”

“Actually... I’ll be moving in here...” Jack said.

Fuck. “Uh, what I mean is... I wasn’t saying you were an asshole... I mean, I don’t know you... maybe you—“

“It’s okay,” Jack chuckled, turning his head to look at me. “I promise I’ll be the perfect neighbour. I mean, I’ll be selling it eventually, but for the moment I could do with having a bit of space to myself.” Jack scratched at his face, his fingernails grating against his stubble-flecked cheek. “So, you live over there too?” Jack asked as we looked back across the lake. “With... she was your cousin, right?”

“Right,” I said, looking toward our lake-house in the distance.

“I thought so. I saw you out on the porch a couple of times,” Jack said.

“Oh, you did, did you?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t spying.”

I felt my cheeks grow warm. “So, um... where are you staying at the moment?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Oh, Gabriella’s letting out the place above her café,” he said.

“Wait... she’s your landlady?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and nodded. “She’s lovely, though.”

“She is.”

“And free pastries in exchange for some odd jobs.”

I turned to look up at him. “How are you with roofs?”

* * * * *

“You were gone a while.” Lauren smiled, tapping my backside as she went to the fridge to get some cheese for our sandwiches. She wore a casual cream long-sleeved top and black leggings, her bare feet tapping against the floor.

“Yeah...” I said, pulling some slices of bread out of the bag. “I, uh... ended up at Vic’s again.”

“Really?” Lauren said, coming back over and setting a block of cheddar down on the counter. “You two are getting on like a house on fire.”

I smiled, but I could feel myself sadden at the thought of Vic. “I... I think he needs help,” I said.

“Oh?” Lauren looked across at me as she began to cut some chunky slices with a sharp knife.

“He’s not looking after himself. His house is falling apart… I even had to walk Toby for him,” I said.

“You walked Toby?” Lauren paused.

“Just up to the top of the lake and back.”

“I swear, Scott, you do surprise me sometimes,” Lauren said, shaking her head.

I smiled and popped a slice of cheese into my mouth. Lauren sighed and then had to cut an extra slice for my sandwich.

* * * * *

We sat out on the back porch with our lunch and a glass of juice each. With my bared arms and midriff, I started to feel a little cold again. I’d given Sarah’s cardigan back to Vic after dropping Toby home.

“I see you helped yourself to my workout clothes this morning,” Lauren said, smiling as she took a bite of her sandwich.

“I thought we were sharing!” I said, running a hand over the shiny fabric of the leggings.

“We are, but I gave you the black and teal set.”

“Oh, right. Sorry!” I grinned.

“It’s okay. You look hot in them.”

“Hmm.” I smiled, feeling my cheeks flush. I looked away, over toward the far end of the lake. The house that Jack built.

“I, uh… met one of the guys up by the house,” I said, taking a quick sip of my juice.

“Oh, yeah? Chip or Dale?” Lauren asked.

“Chip… I mean, Jack!” We giggled. “He’s actually kind of alright… And it’s just as well. Turns out he’s the one moving in up there.”

“Oh my god, really?”

“Uh-huh.” I took a bite of my sandwich, still gazing across the lake.

“Well, it sounds like you’ve had quite an eventful morning.” I could feel Lauren glance across at me.

I set my plate down on the wooden table between us. “Listen, Lauren… I came back home earlier, and well. You were kind of… busy.” I braced myself, biting on my bottom lip.

“Oh.”

“It’s totally fine, I’m not making any judgements. I just thought—“

“Scott, honey…” Lauren reached across the table for my hand. I hesitated, then slipped my hand into hers. “I’m sorry—“

“Please don’t apologise,” I said, desperately wanting to dispel the awkwardness. “I mean, it’s… normal. I would do it sometimes. Before all this, obviously… but, like when you were off visiting clients. It doesn’t mean that I don’t—“

“Wait, what?” Lauren was about to say something else, but stopped herself. She closed her eyes and forced a smile. “No, you’re right.” She opened her eyes again and squeezed my hand. “Look, these last few weeks. I guess I was just carrying more tension than I realised. And then the last couple of nights with you. I guess, I’m just… starting to feel things again.”

“I understand.” I smiled back warmly.

“And what about you?” Lauren asked, looking deep into my eyes, a strand of her brunette hair lifting in the breeze. “Are you starting to feel things again?”

I looked down at my lap for a moment, brushing away a breadcrumb. “A little… I guess. It just feels… complicated.”

“Of course it does.” Lauren nodded. “Listen… tomorrow… I’ll be out all day at Riverside. You’ll, um… have the house to yourself…”

“Lauren!” I glared at her.

“No, listen… just spend some time. Without any pressure.”

I cupped my face in my hands. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“But we should, shouldn’t we? Be having conversations like this?” Lauren said.

I could feel my eyes getting a little moist as I nodded back. “Yeah…” I cleared my throat and we sat in silence for a moment. “Plus, it’ll get Emma off our backs!”

Lauren laughed.

“How are you feeling about Riverside tomorrow?” I asked, turning a little more in my seat to face her.

“Well… less tense than I was!” she said, winking at me.

* * * * *

Author's Note

Thank you everyone for waiting a little longer than usual for this chapter, however exciting news is here! I have now launched my Patreon page!

https://www.patreon.com/cw/JessicaDFiction

Here you can subscribe and read a chapter ahead of the public release. Day 19: Biology Lesson is available to read now for subscribers to the Moonstruck or All-In tiers. There's also plenty of extra stuff - you'll get access to downloadable PDFs and EPUBs of each chapter, a collected edition PDF and EPUB of the whole story so far, and behind-the-scenes articles for some of the chapters. The story will continue to be published for free here.

In other news, I'll be launching my brand new story Lyanna Unbound on Halloween! This is a completely different kind of story, a demon-sex horror-comedy! Free previews are also available now on the Patreon page.