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FUN
That was a fun read.
Wish there was a sequel, but that might spoil the unanswered questions about who and what 'Shannen' is.
Loved it!!
I am quite new to BC, so not
I am quite new to BC, so not read much here, but....
I like this story, simple open ended, written well. OK a couple of grammar and spelling issues but basically good, but what makes the story good is that the story does not expect anything it allows the reader to draw their own idea of where the story is going and what may or may not happen later.
I like it, I think that negative comments, unless really constructive, only work to stop people sharing their creativity, whether this creativity is good, bad or indifferent.
Personally I hope there is a sequel
Sara
Light
I kept expecting to be let in on the joke somehow, despite the ever stronger suggestion that Jerry was getting into something sleazy. Well done.
Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."
Impressive
I am impressed. Interesting provocative. Yet nothing happens.
there is no...
...unanswered question as to what (s)he does. The real unanswered question revolves around his homelife. How he got into his line of work and how his parents allowed it. Not to mention why his mom hadn't grabbed a skillet and cracked that creep over the head for barging into her house uninvited.
Of trolls, pimps, "working" girls, and shaggy dogs
Lainie Lee wrote:
Is there more than one kind of relationship that may exist between a “working girl” and her pimp?
Ask most people what a “shaggy dog” story is, and you will most likely hear that it can go on for hours before the narrator gets to the punch line. But really, it is any story or riddle where the joke is on the audience.
In a sense, an (Internet) troll is also a joke or prank on the audience. To most people, a troll is a hungry and evil-tempered mythological being that lives under a bridge. However, trolling (vi.) is the act of fishing by means of towing a baited longline behind a boat—with respect to the Internet, the metaphor is in the imagery of fish rising to the bait.
To my mind, this is a shaggy dog story in every traditional sense of the phrase, with the possible exception of its length. And posting it to FM with their well-earned reputation was without doubt an evil and well-executed troll. I can imagine the author(s?) laughing their faces off at the number of chumps who took the bait! :D
I dunno....
I sort of like the premise, and I got a small feeling for Shannen in that, I sort of like her.
I know there is a nastier side to life, all life: straight, gay, lesbian and transexual all have seamier (sp?) sides to them. in fact most have down right nasty sides.
Leaving this story as it is, is great, we the reader can supply the nastyness if we want or Shannen can be just a singer, or my personal favorite, an undercover cop. :¬D
Adding a sequel could perhaps take it a little too far, once you have the written word, on who Shannen is then it can't be easily retracted, I don't particularly want to read about TG/TS/T? prostitutes, I have in the past but its not what floats my boat. Similarily others won't want to read about the undercover cop that I like. ;¬)
Go with it however you like, or how the story dictates it's self to you, as I do. Hopefully for me it will forfill the promise that this premise has.
JC
The Legendary Lost Ninja