CHAPTER 31
I was getting used to it. The feel of a warm presence next to me in the morning, the knowledge that I was no longer alone. I slipped as quietly as I could from the bed, and made my way via the bathroom to the kitchen.

CHAPTER 30
With Karen and Terry’s help I managed to find things I wouldn’t have thought of, including vegetarian sausages. Terry was very direct.

“Just remember, woman, that as soon as you cook these in the same pan as the meat they cease to be veggie, OK?”

CHAPTER 28
I slept the sleep of the just that night, the just-ravished, for Larinda had been true to her word. She had lain on my shoulder, afterwards, while she went through options for William’s future, almost as if he were her own.

“What?” she demanded.

“Just, dunno, you seem to be taking charge, almost, with Will”

CHAPTER 26
That had been a hard one. Alec was clearly switched on, which I had expected, but it had come almost as a shock to realise how much he actually cared. I had expected the usual NHS assembly line treatment, where all the right things are said from a mask of compassion put on for each patient in turn, but he had made me realise how lucky I really was.

CHAPTER 25
“No, not really. I have tried, you know…”

He sighed. “Tell me, how have you presented?”

“What do you mean?”

“How do you feel that others have perceived you, over the years?”

HARD MEMORY
Martin jerked awake as the train hit yet another older bit of track and the carriage slammed to the right before thumping him to the left again. One more stop, and then he could get back into his own quiet world, away from poxy arselicking for funds.

CHAPTER 22
I was on my own that evening, waiting for the phone to ring, but there was nothing. No Larinda, no checking up, and certainly no second thoughts. I logged onto the internet, and before I could stop myself the latest offers from Dorothy Perkins were on the screen.

CHAPTER 20
“Hang on a minute. I am actually here, and I don’t remember delegating the rest of my life to you two!”

Rachel gave me a look of utter disdain. “Making such a good job of it you are as well…”

CHAPTER 18
It was Neil who drove me to the airport in the end, Mam eased into the front seat of his car, and it was an emotional farewell in the car park as I insisted she didn’t walk into the terminal building. I wanted to be in control, and tears were not something I wanted photographed at the security gate.

CHAPTER 16
I took Ian’s old bed that night, as my room was now her sewing and craft room. It was a better evening after the confrontation, and I noticed how much effort Mam was putting into how she addressed me. It was almost as if she had forgotten I was ever called Rob, and that simple act did so much to bring me back from the pain and hatred that Bell had triggered.

CHAPTER 14
I paused for an attempt at thought. All my plans were collapsing around me, and it was as if I was in a river taking me where it wanted to go, regardless of how hard I swam. She sat there in Her Chair, a dumpy old woman, close-cropped grey hair giving back almost as much light as her glasses.

CHAPTER 12
I was still awake at two in the morning, sore where it counted, Larinda pushed up against me making snuffling noises in her sleep. The bedding was seriously in need of laundering.

CHAPTER 10
“So…”

She turned to look at me, naked, absolutely unashamed, a slightly puzzled look on her face.

“You’ve obviously got, or had, a partner, but I can’t see her wearing clothes in size 14 as well as size 22. I know I have the odd binge and diet sort of thing, cycle, yeah, but this is silly. What…ah”

CHAPTER 8
“Hiya, love!”

The phone had gone almost as soon as I was on the train back from Barnes. Von had been for a job interview that morning, with an eye on finally settling everything in Hampshire and moving home. It was a conversation I really didn’t want to get drawn into.

CHAPTER 6
She left me with a hug, and I wondered how this was happening so fast. I hadn’t started out that day with the intention of telling anyone else at all, and there I was spilling my guts to the leading light of both Debt Management and Gossip Central. Some small voice was telling me, however, that this was one piece of gossip she could and would contain.

CHAPTER 4
Back to work the next day, of course, and I was on the folder. I don’t like platform pedals, and riding in a suit was a pain in the arse, quite literally at times, but my boss had taken a firm line on appearing at a trader’s in lycra.

CHAPTER 3
I walked with them as far as the bike cages, Karen staying close by me. There was a little bit of eye language, and Terry disappeared into the toilets with James. I gave Karen as hard a stare as I could manage.

“You’ve told him, right?”

“He’s my husband. I know you have a problem with that, but if there is one person I will trust, it is the man I took my vows with. You have a problem?”

CHAPTER 38
I have already said that no matter how careful one plans and prepares, there is always that collection of ‘little things’ that make themselves known right at the last minute, and in this case it was courtesy of Stewie. His old Roller, the wedding present that he and Sally were lending us for the day, along with a couple of other cars, had a visit from the Faery Folk en route to our house.

CHAPTER 36
We had a day to play with before the drive back to Caen, and after the boys had recovered we allowed the children to show us the bits of Paris they had liked best, which included the view of the city as night fell, from the only viewpoint imaginable.

CHAPTER 34
We began a series of those last-minute preparations that always remain last-minute, no matter how many aeons in advance you start them. So much to get ready, so much to sort into little boxes of my attention span. What the boys called “The French Ride” with audible capitalisation was almost on us, there was no way we were going to miss Shrewsbury at the end of the same month, we had some large social event or other a week and a bit later and Polly had apparently stolen a march on everything by starting the documentation for moving Darren’s status forward.

CHAPTER 32
He was smaller in the bed, but the smile was almost there. I had gone in with Darren, of course, the day after Albert had resurfaced. That smile, just the tiniest of quirks on the right side, and a tic in his speech that a stranger would miss.

CHAPTER 29
I was out of the door as soon as one of the boys could fit my bike into the back of a carrier and drive me round. Steph was at the door waiting.