Well, yesterday ended up going better than I could have hoped. Sharon and Sam cried after Po was put down, but Sam was no longer angry, and indeed seemed to be at peace with his passing. I am thanking God and breathing a sigh of relief.

Dysphoria, manic-depression, PTSD, grief, and anxiety. I'm getting hit by all of the above, plus one more. Guilt. Guilt that I'm struggling with petty problems while people are dying from this virus.

Sighs ...

So last night I dreamed I was at a church function. I was upstairs, cleaning up a bunch of toy trucks, and then went downstairs to see that all the girls had turned the dining area into a fancy tea party. My dysphoria hit me like a physical blow, and I dumped my load of toy trucks on a counter and staggered back upstairs. I woke weeping.

After I published my last little piece, I was informed I've been mislabeling them as "drabbles". I always thought a drabble was 100 words or less, apparently its 100 words exactly. So what do I do about the section of my stories titled "Dorothy's Drabbles"?

Suggestions please.

In hopes of providing a giggle in these dark times, I've come up with a little drabble:
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/84020/transformation-...

Well I was a busy girl today. I got Sam to her school and helped her pick a few things for the lockdown, I got my tires fixed, and got my meds refilled. Not bad, eh?

My daughter is sick and getting tested tomorrow for the Corona virus. Hugs and prayers appreciated.

One of my problems is that I suck at making decisions. I flip back and forth, or just turtle and hope the situation goes away on its own. Well I'm dealing with that now in terms of getting stomach surgery. The closer I come to the time of the surgery, the less certain I am that I'm making the right call.

After agonizing over it, we've booked an appointment to put Lady down. Wednesday we say goodbye. hugs appreciated.

Just when I had thought my muse had left me for greener pastures, she sent me a new story: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/83661/protective-colo...

so last night I dreamed that during a marathon that I was participating in I saw a large snake about to get among the runners, I was able to capture the snake holding it just behind the head. And with barriers on both sides of the course, I felt I had no choice but to finish the course while keeping a hold on the critter.

Bizarre, yes?

Last night, I had a dream full of failure and frustration. First I was in a large group being assigned with building something from Leggo and I struggled to find pieces, and my finished product looked sad compared to the others. Then we cleared off the leggo and we were supposed to learn a dance, but I couldnt see the feet of the instructor, so couldnt march her steps. And even when I had one on one instruction, I couldnt seem to explain what my problem was.

sighs ...

I had a dream last night where I was part of a group of people looking for clues in a contest where the top prize was 1 million dollars. At one point we were taking a food break, and I managed to impress a girl with my musical taste. She then gave me a box of stuff she'd collected while looking for clues, and we talked about how I'd get SRS if I won the million. Sadly I didnt find the million, but I seemed to have found a friend.

My little dog's health is going downhill, and my mom is super stressing about how far we let things go before we say goodbye to the little fuzzball.

I'm doing what I can to help, but this is putting serious pressure on my spoon count.

Okay, so I'm kinda scared. See, this morning, while I was in a kind of half-sleep/half awake state, I felt a jolt of energy in my head, and my body twiched and trashed. Only lasted a couple of seconds. But about a minute later it happened again. I had maybe four, maybe five of these events, and then it just stopped.

Needless to say, Monday Morning I have to get a hold of my doctor, and see if they can figure out what happened.

In the meantime, hugs, prayers, and good wishes appreciated.