Quite some time ago, I started a story called "the secret of M.Y.T.H.", and had high hopes for it. unfortunately I got blocked on the story, and it fell to the bottom of my stories in progress pile. Now, at last, I think I can do something with it, but rather than simply carrying on from the point where it has been sitting, I think it would be better to unpublish the unfinished version and then publish the complete one. So how can I remove the old version of the story?

Sorry about yesterday everybody.

I let Mr. Nasty pin me for a bit, but like Rocky I've gotten off the mat, and feel much better.

Like Superman, I'm in a "never-ending battle" against the bad bits in my brain, but as of today, as the old song says, I'm still standing;

I'm sorry to post again so soon, but I had unfun day, as I got two different moments I could have done without. First, I discovered I have a rather odd PSTD reaction to pain in my leg. It not only sets off my anxiety, I have this terrible sensation that if I looked down at it, it would be a ruin. Then, later I had what I'm gonna refer to as a spontaneous male reaction. If you have (or had) male equipment, you know what I mean. Those always hit me a number of ways - they set off my dysphoria, they set off my PTSD, and they're bloody painful to boot.

Well, I had a rather down day today. It started with a bad dream that left me feeling like I was a pretty horrible person, and I just never really got out of the rut.

Ah, well, tomorrow is another day ...

I'm sorry to say I'm probably 2 weeks away from having anything new up. A number of events in real life have drained my writing spoons, just when I was making some progress on several ideas.

I hope I will still have readers by the time I have something for them to read ...

PTSD guilt is the worst.

I'm struggling with guilt right now for not telling anybody how bad things were at home.

I was too afraid they would blame my mom.

Sighs, hugs appreciated

well, my new computer seems to be working, so I'm gonna give that a tentitive yay. But on the boo side, because how prolific we've all been this last couple of days, my latest story has dropped way down, and its at least possible some of you who would have normally checked it out have missed it. so just in case, here is a link: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/86208/tinker-tailor-s...

I'm extremely frustrated with my PTSD. I've taken therapy. Then taken even more therapy. And yet all it takes is a touch in the wrong place and I'm right back in the bad days.

Somebody, can you tell me if it ever goes away?

So yesterday was a super stressful day.

last night I had a dream with a difference. It wasn't the fact I was apparently taking classes at university and getting lost, it wasn't even the fact that when I went to the cafeteria I realized I didn't have my wallet.

It was the fact that said wallet was in my purse.

Which means that even though I was having a very bad day, I was at least attending as Dorothy, which to the best of my knowledge, has never happened to me in a dream before.

I don't know, that feels slightly hopeful to me.

last night, I discovered I had a really ugly looking rash on my belly. I'm gonna go get it checked out. I'll let you guys know what happens.

Okay, so today was a mixed day. First, the bad: I had a PTSD event while in a grocery store, and that brought me down from the high I was on.

So why had I been high? Because a city worker called me "sweetheart" when he asked me to move my car.

So that was a yay, at least.

Cause today is my birthday!

I've been re-reading my stuff, and realized some of my best work takes place in someone else's sandbox. My Mercy story, my Phoenix story, both (In my humble opinion) really good stories with genuine feels in them.

Now, I'm not sure what this means for me going forward. Can I take something from those stories, and put them into a unique setting, or am I doomed to only be able to do good work inside someone else's universe ?

The causes for my C-PTSD can be separated into 2 groups. being repeatedly raped, and suffering both physical and emotionally abused by my stepfather.

Well, I dreamed about my stepfather last night. I was at a family gathering, and his name came up, and I started unleashing every bit of anger I had ever felt towards him. I woke feeling shaken, and depressed.

Hugs appreciated.