of all the ways I could lose my brother and sister in law, if this little tiff turns out to be the end of our relationship, well, its a pretty pathetic end.

ah, well.

Well, tomorrow morning I go to an interview with Target. I'm super nervous, I have no idea how they feel about trans, or anything. wish me luck.

well, one of the Provincial Supreme courts here did something almost unheard of - it more than doubled the sentence handed down for Graham James, the hockey coach who was found guilty of molesting NHL player Theo Fluery, among others. Instead of the 2 year sentence he was given by the judge, he will now serve 5 years, unless the Canadian Supreme court changes it. Its not as good as the sentence I would have given him - to hang suspended by a hook in his member for the remainder of his life, but I guess it will have to do ...

I have to take back all the nasty things I said about Valentines, and I think I have the most awesome mom ever. She decided I needed something for Valentines, and so gave me a couple of pretty blouses and a set of earrings. Bless you, mom!

every once in a while, I read a non-trans story that makes me feel like putting on a tinfoil hat, because the author has caught my emotions perfectly, even while talking about something else.

Okay, so I'm scared now. a while back I couldn't seem to remember the word "screwdriver" and today I couldnt remember the word "dresser".

My brain is melting ......

I've been thinking and praying a lot today, and I've decided I'm going to continue my transition, the rejection by my brother and sister-in-law notwithstanding. Maybe that makes me a "selfish bitch" in my sister-in-laws words, but it has to be done. I love them, and my heart aches that they think this transition somehow hurts them, but I have to seek wholeness.

Well, I came home this morning to a message from my sister saying my brother was hurt by the reaction of my friends on facebook and by my not jumping to his defense. So I did the only thing I could do - I sent a loving response, and then took my dog for a walk outside in my prettiest skirt, just because I could. I'm not going to let them pull me down anymore. I love them, but I need to keep myself healthy first and foremost.

Okay, its serious discussion time, but lets keep it friendly, okay?

Can a person change orientation?

okay, so color this one under "hmmm....."

Can I make a little confession here? Yesterday, when I was doing laundry, I put on a skirt so I could wash my pants, and I could feel tension leave my body as I walked around my house in the skirt. I could feel my blood pressure drop, and it felt like a breath I hadnt even realized I was holding in was escaping, taking with it a lot of my stress.

Weird, no?

Well, they've moved my transfer date, and now it will be Feb. 23. Apparently they felt a need to make it fall at the end of a pay period (why they couldnt have moved it up instead, I have no idea)

I got a little bit of extra money this month, and I think rather than just blowing it on an extra trip to McDonalds or whatever, I'm going to set it aside and make a "Dorothy fund" account. Then, whenever I can, I'll add to it, and hopefully, when I'm ready to move forward with a name change, I'll have enough put aside to cover the costs.

I find myself being terribly jealous of my friend Katie She's not been out of the closet that long, and already she looks better than I do, and has a boyfriend besides ...

Well, I went to see my endo doc today, and he's decided to switch me from an estrogen patch to a gel, since I was having troubles with the patch. That was fine, and it led to a little event I'd like to call:

Using the ladies room at Wal-Mart.

See, I went down to get the prescription filled, and while waiting realized I had to use the facilities, and so went to use the ladies room, on the principle that I am one, abet one with a slight plumbing problem.