Becoming Robin By Zoe Taylor Did Someone Say Luau? -/- Not-So-Public Displays of Affection   “We should survey the area. Y’know, so we’ll have something to tell them when we get back other than ‘We were cuddling on the pier’.” I winked, causing her to giggle. “Good idea.” She offered me her hand. I pulled her up, but she suddenly froze. “Um… Nikki?” Following her gaze, I slowly turned around to see Rachel standing behind me. I nearly fell right into the lake with surprise.

---

 
I suddenly found myself in total darkness. Not the kind of moon and starlit twilight though. This was an unapologetic, inky and all-consuming absence.

“Am I dreaming?” I heard my disembodied voice echo around me though I had said nothing. I felt a sudden and sharp jolt as everything around me shifted. I was sitting in the passenger seat of a small compact car. I couldn’t see the driver. Was there even a driver? We were moving fast, down a familiar street.

“STOP PLEASE!” I shrieked. The shrill sound of tires squealing pierced the urban night. I suddenly found myself as a bystander to an accident. Why did that car look so familiar? I ran to the car, now crumpled against the trunk of a large tree. I knew what I would find, but I forced myself to look anyway.

“NO!” I screamed as I sat bolt upright in bed. The warm rays of the morning sun that had begun pouring in through the cabin’s window brought me no comfort as I slowly drew my knees to my chest, burying my face and shivering.

By now Rachel had peeked over the edge of her bunk from above. She frowned, scampering down to sit beside me. “Spirit what’s wrong?” She spoke gently. I’d been at camp for two days now, and hadn’t had a bad dream yet, so this was all a little jarring for our new resident, even though the others already knew exactly what was going on.

Allison and Nicole joined Rachel in trying to console me, but I just sat there, shivering, and otherwise unmoving. Jennifer threw on her bathrobe, practically sprinting barefoot out of the cabin. By the time she returned with our counselor and coordinator Alice in tow, I had at least begun to move, albeit just enough to plant my feet on the floor and bury myself in Allison’s arms.

Alice approached and knelt in front of me, taking my hands, “Robin, sweetie, I’m here. What happened?” I slowly edged away from Allison, shaking my head. Tears stung my eyes as I began to speak, “It was awful. I-I know it’s just a dream, but it felt so real.”

I described, in graphic detail, everything I witnessed, from the horrid smell of burning rubber to the heat of the flames. Allison and Nicole continued to hold me, while Rachel and Jennifer slipped outside.

“Robin, what did you see when you approached the car in your dream?” Alice asked gently. I shuddered.

“Myself. I saw myself in the car. I thought I might see Momma, but… but I saw myself instead.”

She pulled me to my feet and put her arms around me. I collapsed against her. “You’re right that it was just a dream, but dreams are a powerful window into our feelings. You mentioned yesterday that you’re here because your mom was sick, didn’t you?”

I nodded slowly, “I miss her so much. I haven’t seen her in almost a month now, and there hasn’t been any news and I just … I feel so helpless!”

Allison and Nicole quietly excused themselves. After they left, I slowly let go of Alice and sat down again, continuing, “And I hate being like this because of what it’s doing to them. The other girls don’t deserve to have to put up with me like this.”

Alice sat beside me and pulled me close to her again. “Robin, sweetie, they’re your friends. They love you, and they’re worried about you. You can’t beat yourself up over that, or you’re only going to feel worse. Ask any one of them, even Rachel, and they’ll tell you the same. You’re an amazing, intelligent, caring young lady and they respect that in you. And you know something? I do too.”

I blinked a few times as I looked up at her. She had a smile like an angel. A good minute of silence passed between us before the door to the cabin slowly opened and Allison peeked inside. I managed a small smile as I motioned for her to come in. The others followed quickly.

“I’m sorry,” I began, as they gathered around me. Before I could continue, Rachel took me by the hand and pulled me up. I was swallowed up in a group hug as she spoke.

“Don’t be sorry. Life’s handed you a rough ride, but you don’t have to face it alone. We support each other, remember?”

Jennifer spoke up a moment later, “The ancient Hawaiians had a saying, Robin: Pupukahi i holomua.”

I stared blankly at her, “What does that mean?”

She grinned as she hugged me, “It means ‘Unite to move forward’. We progress in life as people and as friends, and we move forward as scouts, by working as a team.”

“Jennifer, I didn’t realize you studied Hawaiian traditions,” Alice said with surprise.

She laughed cheerfully as she nodded, “I’m half-Polynesian. I thought everybody knew that. Granted I really was born and raised here in Connecticut, but my mother taught me the oral traditions of the Hawai’ian people, and every summer I go ‘home’ to the islands to visit my grandparents for a week before school starts.”

I began to feel a little better. Surrounded by friends, it’s hard not to. Part of me again wondered if the others had taken Rachel aside outside though, but I didn’t have time to dwell on that. I could practically feel the gears in my head turning. I had begun hatching a wonderful idea.

Truth be told, I think I just wanted, or NEEDED something to take my mind off my grief. I must have been grinning because Allison and Nicole looked at each other, stating a united ‘Uh-oh.’

Rachel hesitantly spoke, “Spirit, sweetie? You’re scaring us.”

“Sorry… I just had what is either a brilliant or absolutely horrible idea.” I turned to Alice, “Alice, Meredith said you could help us coordinate if we felt ambitious, right?”

She nodded, waiting to see where I was going with this. I then turned to Jennifer, “And Jen, you know the oral traditions of your people pretty well, like maybe well enough to host a luau down by the lake? It wouldn’t be the ocean of course, but…”

Jennifer was positively glowing, “Oh my God, Spirit you are a genius!” Turning to Alice, she begged, “Can we do it?

Alice must have thought we’d planned this all along. We stood together and pleaded in unison, “Pleeeeeease?” We gave her our best ‘We can do this!’ smiles.

Alice laughed, “Okay, okay! I’ll talk to Director Greer, but you’re going to have to find a way to finance it yourselves. You’ll be in charge of decorations and logistics; however, the camp staff will supervise any food preparation for safety reasons.”

I couldn’t help myself, bouncing up and down excitedly with Jennifer as we hugged each other then hugged Alice.

“Okay, girls, for now don’t mention this to anyone. Mer’s going to kill me,” she muttered.

“Just tell her it was all my idea. I think she’ll understand if you explain how it all came about. She knows I’m having medical problems that cause me to be really moody,” I offered.

I caught Rachel shooting me a concerned glance out of the corner of my eye. ‘Crud,’ I thought, as Alice mercifully deflected the conversation elsewhere, “For now, you girls should finish getting dressed then head down to the mess hall for breakfast.”

It was incredibly hard not talking about the idea of having an authentic luau right here at camp. Not surprisingly I’d never been to one, but I’d read about them enough to know they were both a traditional feast and an awesome party theme.

For now, I managed to focus my attention on camp matters. I’d like to say I felt better that day. I’d love to say that everything went flawlessly, and that I was the belle of the ball of our camp. The truth couldn’t be more drastically different.

I managed to burn my hand twice while helping with a basic campfire instruction, and later managed to jab myself twice while taking a sewing lesson during arts and crafts, but the pinnacle of craptitude struck when Jennifer finally coaxed me to go horseback riding.

We were planning a day hike that afternoon to work on some more advanced survival skills, so the girls thought it would be good for me to relax and have a little fun, given the morning’s events, and I soon found myself nervously perched atop an old, brown mare named ‘Lulubelle’. Counselor Dunham had decided to join us and supervise, as the most experienced rider at the camp, while a few other girls tagged along to watch.

She had just finished instructing me on how to sit, hold the reins, and point my feet when Jennifer rode up next to me on a beautiful gray stallion. She smiled confidently, “You look like you’re about to fall off. Relax your stance a little more, and don’t lock your knees.”

“I feel like I’m about to fall off,” I responded with a nervous laugh. After some further instructions on how to guide the horse, we were off to a slow trot with Counselor Dunham walking along beside us. Jennifer rode on the other side for moral support.

My horse’s ears twitched, and she suddenly took off like a shot. I screamed in surprise, which probably made it worse. It was all I could do just to hang on.

“Spirit! Stop!” I heard Counselor Dunham’s voice behind me. I thought I could hear another set of hoof beats further back and closing, though it may have been the sound of my heart thumping in my ears.

“I’m trying!” I shouted back. “No, no, no, no, no! Bad horse! Stop!” I pleaded. The horse abruptly stopped, but I kept going. Luckily for me I landed in some soft underbrush. I just lay there staring at the sky overhead as Jennifer came galloping up, carrying Counselor Dunham. The latter leapt down and ran to my side.

“Are you okay? Speak to me!” She insisted.

I managed a weak smile, offering, “I stopped?” I groaned as I sat up, rubbing the back of my neck. “Mmmph.”

Jennifer knelt beside me, “What happened back there? Are you hurt?”

I shook my head, “I’m okay.”

By now the other girls that had observed the incident had come running over. I wanted to cry. I just knew they were going to laugh at me. To my surprise, they all gathered around and offered to help me up.

One of the older girls, a short blonde wearing silver wire-rim glasses offered a wry smile, “That happened my first time too,” she began; “Only it was a tree that broke my fall, and my old glasses.”

Counselor Dunham and Jennifer put their arms around me, the former offering, “Let’s get you to the nurse.”

Rather than saying anything in response, or even letting myself cry as I so wanted at that moment, I hobbled back to my horse, gently patted her flank, and started to climb back up again. I heard several pairs of hands clapping behind me.

Jennifer called over the impromptu applause, “See, girls, this is why we call her Spirit. When she gets knocked off, she just gets right back up and tries again.”

I was determined not to let this ruin my day. The way I figured it, I could run back to my cabin crying and accomplish absolutely nothing, or I could get back into the saddle and try and salvage some fun yet.

I did fall again once that day, as I was dismounting, but at least I was already halfway to the ground. I got up, dusted myself off, and thanked Counselor Dunham and Jennifer for the lesson, then walked my borrowed mare back to the stables with Jennifer.

I couldn’t help wondering where Nicole was though. She was one of the major reasons I even agreed to try. The bright side of the debacle came after I left the riding training field though. The blonde from before approached again, offering her hand, “I never introduced myself. I’m Elaine.”

I gave her a smile as we shook hands, “Nice to meet you.” I hesitated, glancing back toward the stables where Jennifer tended to my horse. She mentioned she’d be a few minutes, so I elected to wait for her. “So, I guess everyone’s going to have a good laugh at the CIT who can’t control an old mare, huh?” I was of course, teasing, but I think my somber mood dampened the joke.

She shook her head quickly, “Are you kidding? It took a lot of guts to get back up there and try again. Everybody thinks you’re amazing, including me.” She smiled and gave me a nervous, incredibly awkward hug, then turned to take off at a jog. I watched for a moment, calling after her.

“Elaine, hang on a sec.” She turned back toward me as I approached, “I’m sorry if I sounded like I was upset. It’s not the horse. It’s just this whole day’s been terrible all around. For what it’s worth, what you said earlier? It really made me feel better. I just wanted to say ‘Thanks’.”

She blushed, grinning as we exchanged a friendlier hug this time, “Everybody has bad days. Even horses,” she offered, causing me to giggle a little. “I’d better get going though. I have swim practice and still need to get my swimsuit.”

“If you get in trouble for being late, just tell them I held you up.” I knew camp staff held us to a higher standard, but I also hoped they’d understand I had a good reason. I waved as she left, with Jennifer coming up and putting an arm around me from behind.

“You know, horseback riding is like anything else in life. My first time surfing, I almost drowned when a rogue wave knocked me clean off my board.”

I cast her a sidelong glance, “You’re kidding right?”

She shook her head, “Nope. Dad wouldn’t let me go near the water again that summer. I was so mad. I watched all the other people having fun, and I wanted to be out there with them. I always regretted not getting my chance to get back on when I fell off, and even at that age, I swore I’d never make that mistake again.”

She gave me a cheerful smile, “Now let’s go get something to eat before your stomach starts gnawing on your spine, yeah?”

We met up at the mess hall for lunch. I noticed a few quiet stares, and one or two girls pointing and whispering among themselves. I guessed everyone had heard about my little trip into the underbrush, but at least no one was laughing. I’d take whatever small victory I could get! As I sat down with my meal the other CITs slowly trickled in. Allison looked positively exhausted.

“What happened to you?” I asked. She gave me an exasperated stare, resting her chin in her hand as she picked at her fries.

“I spent the morning helping wrangle six year olds for a swimming lesson. You?”

“Burned my hand twice during campfire instruction, stabbed myself with a sharp sewing needle I don’t know how many times, then went for an impromptu, and very brief nature ride,” I laughed.

“That was you?” She asked with surprise, “I heard there was a girl who got thrown off her horse. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just my pride and my inner thighs are a little bruised. Counselor Dunham said she has no idea what caused the horse to spook. I guess horses can have bad days too.”

Jennifer joined us a moment later with Nicole and Rachel in tow. Nicole especially seemed to feel badly about what happened.

“I would’ve been there, but my mom came for a surprise visit.”

I gave her a concerned glance, “Well, is everything okay?”

She nodded sheepishly as she tore into her hamburger, mumbling something around it. Jennifer laughed, “Cola, sweetie, chew, then talk.”

She swallowed her food then stuck her tongue out at Jennifer, “Yeah, everything’s okay. She just wanted to know if there was anything she could do,” she offered in a sarcastic tone, rolling her eyes.

“Of course, I told her about the…“ She suddenly cut herself off, glancing around, “The thing we’re not supposed to talk about.”

“And?” I asked, even more curiously.

“And… She said she’d talk to Daddy about it,” she quipped with a grin. “If Meredith says yes then you can leave the food to me. I don’t know if they’ll allow catering, but since this is something for everyone at camp, they can’t overlook a generous donation of food for the occasion,” she reasoned.

“What are we talking about?” Alice poked her head down right next to Nicole and me, causing me to jump. She stifled a giggle.

“Um, that thing we’re not supposed to talk about?” Nicole answered.

“Well, Meredith approved, but only as long as it doesn’t interfere with your duties and responsibilities as CITs. We’ll discuss it more at the cabin though. I don’t want anyone getting prematurely excited if things fall through.”

We all nodded solemnly, returning to our meals.

“Alice, sit with us?” I offered.

She smiled, taking the offered seat, “Thank you Spirit. I heard you lived up to your nickname today. I see what Cat and coconut girl there,” she nodded toward Jennifer with a playful grin, “were giggling about that first day.”

“I’d like to say I was trying to be exemplary, but the truth is, I knew if I didn’t get back on that horse right then, that I never would.”

“That’s the spirit!” they all pretty much responded in unison, causing me to blush.

After lunch, we retired to our cabins, but not for long. We gathered our borrowed sleeping bags and knapsacks loaded with survival gear, and headed out again. Today was the first day for Nicole and me to be introduced to advanced survival training. We weren’t going on an overnight trip, though we still carried sleeping bags to simulate the extra weight of the eventual, real trip.

Alice led us off the beaten path, quizzing us as we walked, on the various plants and the occasional animal or insect. We were instructed on selecting a proper camping spot and what to watch for in avoiding wild animals. When Nicole and I agreed on a spot that looked okay to us, Alice walked up to a nearby tree and rapped her walking stick gently against it.

“Don’t worry, there aren’t any real bears in the area, but this is what you’d see if a bear had rubbed up against it. It took a lot of work to set that up,” she added with a grin. “I figured it would be better to show you firsthand, so it really sinks in.”

We weren’t feeling too confident about this spot anymore, but Alice insisted that otherwise, our instincts were correct, so we moved on to how to set up and break down camp, how to start a fire without matches, and methods for purifying water with basic camping gear.

“And I cannot stress enough how important it is that if you’re lost, and someone knows you’re lost, you stay in one place. Many day hikers have died because they were sure civilization was just over the next rise, when they were going in entirely the wrong direction.”

Allison glanced at me, and I offered a wry smile in return. Alice looked at both of us, “Something you want to share, girls?” She asked in a friendly tone that sounded more like a genuine question than a matronly or teacher-like request.

“Spirit got lost in the woods the first day she moved to Alpine Springs. It wasn’t her fault or anything. She was just really upset and lost track of where she was. I joined the search and rescue efforts, and we ultimately found her, maybe ten or twelve yards off one of my favorite hiking trails. She’d fallen and sprained her ankle, but if she’d tried to move, it could’ve ended pretty badly.”

Alice gave me a sympathetic smile, “Staying put was the absolute best thing you could have done in that situation. It’s important not to end up in that kind of situation in the first place though, so I’m going to teach you how to get your bearings when you don’t have a compass, then I want you and Cola to guide us back to camp.”

Nicole and I stared at each other, and she nodded, “Okay, but just promise not to blame me if we get eaten by a bear.”

Alice laughed, “I promise. If we get eaten by a bear, everyone blame Spirit!” Her grin was contagious. I couldn’t help feeling better about the day as we got back into lessons. By the time the sun had began to set, we had already packed in our camp, and begun leading the others back. Several times we stopped and discussed which way we felt we had come in.

“I feel like I’m cheating, trying to remember instead of just trusting our lessons,” Nicole offered. She was preaching to the choir so far as I was concerned.

Alice motioned for us to stop, “Actually, it’s better if you can remember. Don’t rely on it purely, but don’t be afraid to trust your instincts. Of course,” she paused, patting her knapsack, “If we do actually get lost, I have GPS and flares, so you’re completely safe.”

Emboldened, Nicole and I pressed on at the lead of our group, and to our credit we actually did manage to find the camp. We came out on the far side of the lake so we had a bit more walking than either of us intended, but we had at least managed to hit the general vicinity.

By now the sun was creeping even closer to the far horizon. We were all exhausted, so Alice let us take our meals in our cabin. We drew straws to see who would carry our dishes back, and even though Rachel got the short straw this time, since it was such a heavy load between the five of us, I volunteered to go with her.

“So how are you feeling?” She asked as we made our way back to Mess.

I offered as much of a smile as I could muster, “A little better, but every muscle in my body is screaming.” I chuckles a little.

“Spirit, may I ask you something?” Her tone carried a note of unease that made me a little nervous. I managed not to drop the load of dishes and trays I carried, but I had to slow down a bit to do so. I nodded. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but this morning you said your medical condition made you moody. What did you mean by that?”

I bit my lip. I promised Meredith I wouldn’t talk about it, so I began to concoct an elaborate sidestep, “It’s complicated. I’m not dying or anything dramatic. It’s just the way my medicine interacts with my body due to late onset puberty, I’m kind of going through what I should have experienced sooner,” I paused, offering nervously, “If that makes any sense. I know, I’m weird.”

She shook her head and smiled, “No, you’re not weird. And I didn’t mean to pry, either. I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do.” That awkward silence I’d grown to hate settled over us for a moment, before she abruptly changed the subject, “Oh hey, I’ve been snooping around and I think I found a great ghost story.”

“Really?” I perked right up. I spent entirely too much time reading as Robert. One day I discovered an entire section of our school library dedicated to books about ghost stories and urban legends. I never did finish my goal of reading every book in that section, but I managed a good three-fourths of it.

“Supposedly, last year a girl hanged herself in our cabin — Cabin 13. Nobody talks about it. I can’t get anything out of the camp staff, and only got the basic version out of someone who knew her last year, but it would explain all the dust.

“Anyway, it’s probably just silly camp superstitions, especially given the cabin number. At my last camp there were legends of a ghost cabin. Indian burial ground, missing children, the usual ghost story stuff.”

That didn’t really set my mind at ease, though I at least knew where my nightmares had come from, and they had nothing to do with a vengeful ghost. I hoped they didn’t anyway.

After dropping off our loads, Rachel walked me to the nurse’s station. She waited outside while I took care of my medicine then we hurried over to the staff lodge where the other girls had already assembled with Alice to discuss the party planning.

Rather than sitting on the provided sofas and chairs, we gathered in a circle on the hardwood floor. Jennifer had brought a blue spiral notebook which she placed in front of her and flipped to a clean page.

“Okay, now that we’re all here, we’ve got a lot to cover. Cola’s parents can cover food donation, but preparing a feast for that many kids might be a lot to ask of the cooking staff. What do you think Alice?”

I hadn’t even realized Alice had come back in, as she had stepped out when we arrived, and I was sitting facing away from the door. We left ample space in our circle in case any staff felt like coming to join us though, so she walked over and sat between Rachel and me.

“Well, it depends on the food. We have state-certified nutritionists on staff so I’m sure you can work something out though,” she offered.

Jennifer tapped the eraser of her pencil against her cheek ever so slightly as she pondered that. “Actually that raises another point. We need to decide how authentic this is going to be, and whether we want to do a proper luau as opposed to a Hawaiian theme party.

“And before you ask, yes there is a difference, but no, your average Hawaiian would be too laid-back to care as long as you’re not shouting curses to the Menehune. Words bring life; words bring death,” she grinned.

“What’s a Menehune?” I just had to ask.

Jennifer smiled in response, “Depending on who you ask, some revere them as wise spirits or craftsmen. Legends say they live in the hidden places, and turn to stone if touched by sunlight.”

“Ah. So um… What’s the difference between a traditional luau and a theme party?” I was on a roll, so I decided to keep the discussion going.

“Basically, the food. At a traditional luau we serve poi, roast pig, sometimes salmon brazed with pineapple juice, octopus… Although now that I think about it, just plain chicken and pineapple kabobs with maybe some coconuts and grilled bananas would work too, and would be less stress on our lunch ladi–I mean nutritionists,” she giggled.

Alice nodded, “What about entertainment?”

Jennifer practically beamed, “I can teach hula lessons to anyone who wants to learn, right there at the party, and I could perform one of the more advanced dances too. I don’t know what we’d do about music though. The PA system shouldn’t be tied up just to play music, and electronics aren’t allowed so I don’t have my MP3 player.”

“Just let me know what you need, and I’ll take care of it on that end,” Alice smiled.

“To fly my grandfather up here,” Jennifer responded with a grin, causing our counselor to laugh.

“Within reason!” she chided playfully.

A few more curious counselors trickled in as we discussed logistics. Word traveled fast, apparently. We talked cost and labor on buying plastic leis to give to every girl versus making them ourselves from real flowers next. We were about to rule out that idea rather quickly though, as there was just not enough time to get that much done, plan the rest of the party, and attend to our regular duties.

“I have a suggestion, if I may?” Katherine Smith - no relation, the younger girls’ arts and crafts teacher offered as she stepped forward from the small group of eavesdropping staff. We all looked expectantly to the middle-aged woman. Her soft brown hair, as always, sat neatly about her shoulders as she knelt beside Jennifer, looking over her notes so far.

“Why not distribute some of the load? Believe me, girls, nothing in camp stays a secret for long, and someone will figure out what you’re up to when you start decorating. I could take, say, ten minutes a day with each group of girls and let them make leis as part of their merit badge credit, then anyone else who wants to volunteer could work on extras.”

Jennifer nodded, “That’s an excellent idea. Even if every girl just made one, that would be a lot of them done right there.”

“We could probably expand that idea even further,” I offered. “I’m a klutz with a hammer, but I know we have girls here who’d be amazing at designing and building a stage.”

Rachel giggled, “And I can weave a mean basket for some citronella candle-holders,”

“That’s a great idea!” Jennifer quickly scribbled as she continued, “And I didn’t even think about candles. We can get tiki torches for atmosphere, but those candles will save a lot of grief and trips to the nurse’s station the next morning.”

We talked back and forth for some time, with the adults occasionally offering a tidbit of advice here or there; for the most part though it was just the five of us doing all the planning and logistical work. By the time we broke for the night, we had a laundry list of things to get done.

Our main goal was to ensure anyone who wanted to attend would feel completely welcome and at-home. We returned to our cabin to relax, giggling with excitement about the work ahead of us. It would all be worth it in the end.

 
Nicole grabbed my hand as we walked back toward our cabin. We had just finished our first meeting to plan the big luau for the other girls this weekend, and we had a few hours of free time ahead of us. I thought we were all heading back to the cabin, but Nicole veered us off the main trail, grinning.

“I just need to borrow Spirit for a second,” she said in her most innocent tone. In other words, we all knew she was up to something.

We walked in relatively peaceful silence down to the lake together. I never grew weary of this spot, which probably had something to do with the hiking excursion with Nicole and Allison the other week. I couldn’t help feeling a sense of peace every time I visited, and today, I desperately needed that.

I pulled my shoes off, carrying them as we stepped out onto the pier. I sat on the edge and dangled my feet in the cool water watching the sun slowly roll westward. Nicole sat beside me and wrapped her arm around my waist as she put her head on my shoulder, “Sorry. I just needed to make sure you’re really okay.”

I smiled, “Yeah, I’m okay. This has been one very hard day, but it’s turned out okay. I know the other girls are going to absolutely love this luau idea.”

Nicole laughed quietly, “I overheard Meredith say it would be a camp first, and that if we did a good enough job it might become a tradition.”

I looked over at Nicole. She had closed her eyes already, so I leaned over and planted a light kiss on top of her head, causing her to giggle, “Hey, no PDAs.” She teased.

“That was an NSPDA,” I joked, “Not-so-public-display. Nikki, thank you again for asking me out. I literally have never had so much fun as I did that night. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since, either.”

She beamed, opening her eyes and looking up at me, “We could do it again after camp.”

“I’d like that,” I offered softly, kissing her cheek this time.

She gave a whimsical sigh as she leaned into me; I gently put an arm around her.

“We are so going to get in trouble for this, but I don’t care,” I finally admitted softly. “I know you said you didn’t want a more serious relationship, but-”

She abruptly placed her finger to my lips, “But nothing. Robin, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night. I literally have like, one regret.”

I blinked as I turned to look at her. “What’s that?”

She answered with a quick, soft kiss, “That I haven’t been able to do that since.” She giggled, causing me to laugh. I gave her another squeeze as I drew my feet back out of the water. She looked up at me, her eyes pleading for me to stay.

“We should survey the area. Y’know, so we’ll have something to tell them when we get back other than ‘We were cuddling on the pier’.” I winked, causing her to giggle.

“Good idea.” She offered me her hand. I pulled her up, but she suddenly froze.

“Um… Nikki?” Following her gaze, I slowly turned around to see Rachel standing behind me. I nearly fell right into the lake with surprise.

She smiled, “You should’ve told me you were coming to the lake. I told Jennifer I’d come down here and pick out a spot for the party.”

“How much did you see?” I asked nervously.

She grinned, “Well, Spirit, were it ANY other girl that had been making jokes about cuddling on the pier, I’d be a little worried, but I swear it’s like the four of you have known each other all your lives. I’m a little jealous though,” she offered softly as she sat, staring out across the lake.

I sat down beside her, with Nicole joining on the other side after she finally regained her composure, “Of what?” She asked hesitantly.

“I feel like an outsider intruding on you guys. I know it’s not your fault. I just miss my old friends and my old camp, you know?”

I put an arm around her, giving her a comforting, friendly hug, “I’m sorry Rachel,” I offered. I knew exactly why Nicole, Allison, Jennifer and I were so close. They all knew, and in some way had helped me to come to grips with who I am. Even Jennifer, who I had only just met before camp, gave me confidence in my ability to pass undetected as I was meant to be.

“It’s not your fault,” she offered softly. I certainly believed it was.

Nicole scooted closer and hugged her, “Really, we’ve had like, two slumber parties and some crazy amounts of bad stuff happen to all of us that we’ve just kind of had to muddle through together. Last week Robin and Ally were attacked…”

She trailed off, biting her lip, “Crap. Robin I’m so sorry! It just slipped,” she frantically apologized. At least that was one cat out of the bag: time to tie rope around that bag and throw it in the lake.

Rachel stared at me with great concern on her face, so I explained to her about how Allison and I had gone jogging and ended up on the local news as ‘two unnamed girls’. When I finished, she slowly nodded. “So that’s why you two have been having trouble sleeping?” Well, Allison maybe. “Oh my God, I am so, so sorry.”

I offered a wry smile, “I felt violated that day. Nothing physically happened, but emotionally, we didn’t feel safe. That Saturday Ally took Nikki and me hiking. She took us to a little river running through the deep forest behind our houses, and we had brunch there, by a babbling brook.

“She invited us to join the scouts there. I guess that’s why I love this lake so much. It reminds me of that place. It’s like my little sanctuary where I can feel completely secure.”

Rachel smiled quietly, “Until a nosey bunkmate comes along and scares the bejeezus out of you,” she glanced at Nicole, who laughed.

“My biting sarcasm’s already rubbing off on you. You’ll be one of us soon,” she teased, causing Rachel to laugh.

“Rachel, Alice told me something this morning after you left. I felt guilty because of what my problems were doing to the rest of you,” I began, but she abruptly shook her head.

“Are you kidding? I was pulling Jennifer away so I could ask her if there was anything I could do. I felt so helpless,” she offered softly.

I smiled, “That’s what Alice said, more or less. She told me that I shouldn’t feel guilty because you all cared about and supported me, and just wanted me to feel better.” I leaned over to catch both Rachel and Nicole in a group hug. “For what it’s worth, I do
feel better. I’d like to stay in touch after camp ends, if you want?” Of course, Nicole’s kiss had everything to do with my feeling better.

She nodded, grinning broadly, “I’d love that. I’d love to stay in touch with all of you,” she paused, speaking ominously, “The ladies of cabin thirteen.”

We were still giggling when someone cleared their throat behind us. I looked back to see Allison, Jennifer and Alice, all with their arms folded. Jennifer grinned, “So this is where you’ve all been hiding. We were waiting like, fifteen minutes before deciding to come look for you.”

I looked over at Rachel, who smiled sheepishly, “Okay, so I lied about coming to survey the lake, but I really didn’t hear anything. I was just worried about you Spirit.” She smiled warmly as she patted my shoulder, the three of us standing.

“Sorry, girls. I’ve just had an epic bad day, but between the nature hike, the party planning, and a nice, long talk with Cola and Rose” … And an incredible kiss… “I do feel a lot better. So! Now that we’re all here, any thoughts on a party location?” There was much left unsaid between Nicole and me, but we’d have to find some privacy before we could continue that conversation. I resolved to focus on matters at-hand, for now.

We walked together back off the pier and sat in a circle on the lake’s smooth bank to discuss our options. We ultimately settled on a flat, clear area on the west side of the lake. The wide-open area presented plenty of room for tables, a stage, and maybe even a big bonfire, to say nothing of decorations, but far enough away from the main pier not to interfere with regular camp activities during the setup process.

From my vantage point in the circle I could see Counselor Dunham approach and waved. Alice turned to see who I was waving at, smiling as she stood.

“Hi Cynthia,” she offered cheerfully. It occurred to me that this was the first I’d heard her addressed by her first name. She smiled in return.

“Hi Alice. Hey girls,” she nodded to us; “I just wanted to come check on Spirit. The cabin was empty, but one of my girls said she saw you heading this way.”

I smiled as I stood, moving around the outside of the circle of girls to hug her. “I’m okay now. I think my horse just kind of picked up on my unease. I spooked her, basically,” I offered, smiling sheepishly. “I’m just glad she’s not hurt. Anyway, do you want to join us? We were just trying to decide who should go in to town for supplies.”

She gave me a cheerful smile at my offer, but shook her head, “No, I should be getting back to my girls. My extended cab pickup is at your service though.”

I smiled at that, returning to my spot in our circle. “Awesome.” I paused a moment to gather my thoughts, “You know, I’ve been thinking; we’re going to need tables for the actual feast. The stage we can build, but that’s a lot of tables.”

Alice nodded, “We could probably abscond with the ones from the mess hall that afternoon, but we’d have to arrange it with the kitchen staff so that any girls who don’t want to attend for whatever reason can still eat there.”

After walking out the area we wanted to use, and some discussion about where to place what, we headed back to our cabin. Nicole and I slowed down, walking side-by-side.

“We still need to talk,” she said softly.

I nodded. “Tonight after lights out?”

She giggled. “Aw, a moonlit stroll? You’re so sweet.” I blushed a little. Alice looked back at us, causing us to run to catch up.

Later that night, still in our bare feet and pajamas, we quietly snuck out of the cabin. Alice, it seemed, trusted us enough as CITs to not need to stay with us after the first night, and between the gentle wind outside, and Jennifer’s snoring inside, we easily managed to slip out the front without waking anyone, or so we thought.

As we walked along the dirt trail, Nicole suddenly grabbed my hand, pulling me off to the side. I found myself pressed against a tree with her lips against mine. I gave in to temptation and parted my lips as I wrapped her in a hug.

Several seconds later, she finally released me from her spell, resting her head against me. “God, I needed that.” She sighed. “Robin, I know this is sudden, but I… I think I-“

“What’s going on out here?” Rachel’s voice carried softness, concern, but it still sent a chill right down my spine. She approached us, the pale moon illuminating us easily. “The lake I could ignore, but now you’re breaking curfew,” she admonished gently.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to rat you out, but I’m not entirely stupid either. If there’s something going on between you two that could get the rest of us in trouble, I think we deserve to know about it.”

Nicole and I looked at each other, and I finally breathed a slow sigh. “Rachel, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to keep you in the dark, but we promised Director Meredith we’d keep things low key and not talk about my past.”

“Your past? … What are you talking about?”

Nicole and I both approached her as I responded, “Let’s go back to our cabin and talk about it. I’m feeling a little exposed right now,” I said softly. She sighed, but nodded, following us back.

Again, Nicole and I sat on the edge of my bunk, with Rachel across from us on the unused, empty bed. Jennifer and Allison joined Nicole and me shortly, having apparently been awakened by our re-entry.

“I swore to Meredith I wouldn’t tell anyone about this, but there’s something you need to understand about me. To start with, I am absolutely, without question, a girl. At least, mentally and emotionally.” Rachel gave me a bewildered stare as Allison reached over to squeeze my hand.

I proceeded to explain to her right down to the last detail, from beginning to end, how I had become Robin. When I finished, I added, “If you want to have me thrown out of camp, I have only one request of you. Please, please don’t blame the others, and don’t tell anyone about this, not for my sake, but for the other girls here at camp. They look up to us as CITs, and you’re right, I should have been honest with you from the start. If not for Meredith’s strict orders that I NOT tell anyone, I would have told you from the start.”

Allison added a moment later, “Rachel, for what it’s worth, Robin’s the reason you didn’t get thrown out of our cabin the first day. Meredith realized her mistake and wanted to move you to another cabin, as the only girl who didn’t know about this, but Robin insisted on letting you stay because she respects you.”

Silence followed, as Rachel slowly shifted her gaze from one face to another, then finally settled on mine. “I knew it. I knew there was something that you four were hiding. And you two,” she nodded toward Nicole and me, “You’re dating, right?”

We looked at each other, then back at her, offering quiet nods in unison.

She turned her attention back to me. “You’re… seriously a girl?”

“A girl with a major birth defect,” I offered nervously. “I’m on medications to help transition, but I am, and always have been, ‘Robin’. It’s just taken me until recently to understand why I never fit in, why no one ever wanted anything to do with me, and why I could never…” at this point, I completely lost it and started sobbing. Rachel I think, surprised us all when she stood and quickly rushed over to hug me.

“Robin, I’m sorry. I… I didn’t know. Please don’t cry,” she said softly. I could feel the others patting my back or hugging me, but I needed a good cry. It had been a bad day all around, and now I had to out myself, breaking my word to Meredith to save any chance at friendship with Rachel.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t mind what you and Nicole do around the cabin, as long as Alice doesn’t come in. I mean, I don’t pretend to understand any of this, but if Meredith ordered you not to say anything, I can forgive it.”

I had to wonder if she meant that, or if she was just saying it to save face as the minority in the face of the others, who already knew the whole time. I stood and hugged her back, though.

“Rachel, for what it’s worth, I’ve never… I mean… I never ‘looked’. I like girls, yes, but I.. I think I love Nikki and I want to be with her.” There. I said it. I could have cut the silence with a sledgehammer.

Nicole stood up next to me and threw her arms around me, sobbing softly. “I love you too, Robin. At least, I think I do… Maybe? All I know is I feel ‘right’ when I’m with you.”

Rachel smiled a little as she hugged us both. “Really… I am really sorry.”

I managed a weak smile as I hugged her, “It’s not your fault. We’ve been trying to control ourselves for over a week now, trying to pretend we just wanted to go back to being friends, and tonight, we-”

Nicole finished, “We couldn’t take it anymore. We had to talk about our feelings and figure out where to go from here. I don’t blame you. I blame myself for not being honest with Robin sooner.”

Rachel chuckled a little. “It’s okay. We can talk about it in the morning a little more. For what it’s worth, I meant what I said the first day, Spirit. You are the most spirited girl I’ve ever met. And now that I know why you four seem so close, I hope we can be better friends now too.”

“I hope so too. For what it’s worth, I didn’t tell Jennifer. She sort of … recognized what I was taking because Allison’s sister is like me too. Born with a ‘birth defect’.” I smiled a little as Rachel glanced down at Allison, who gave a confirming nod.

“We are who we are,” Jennifer added. “Robin was scared of coming to camp because she didn’t want to ruin some other girl’s fun. But just look at how much she’s grown in the short time you and I have known her? She was scared to death of telling me what she so openly admitted to you, and I’ve been Ally’s best friend since we were five.”

Rachel nodded as she slowly climbed up onto her bunk. She lay there silently for a long moment while the others went back to bed. I just sat, staring at the empty bunk.

“Robin?” she finally spoke.

“Mm?”

“I still want to stay in touch after camp, if you’d have me as a friend.”

I smiled warmly as I stood, reaching up to squeeze her hand. I missed, but only by a few inches, squeezing her wrist instead. I laid down and curled up between my sheets. “I’d like that.”

I sat straight up in bed, gasping for air. My sheets were slightly damp with sweat. I looked around to see Allison and Jennifer staring at me with concern, and gave them a sleepy half-smile, “I’m okay. Just more bad dreams.”

Jennifer moved to sit on the edge of my bed, “Want to talk about it?”

I smiled sheepishly, “Really, it’s okay. Rachel was telling me she heard a ghost story about our cabin, and I guess my mind just ran with it.”

Rachel poked her head over the side of her bed from above me, but I held my hand up to touch my finger to her lips, “And before you say it, no, you don’t need to apologize.” I grinned, causing her to smile. “I need to learn to cope with my feelings in the waking world so they’ll stop being so insistent on invading my dreams.

“I’ll see what I can dig up about our cabin’s history though. If it’s true that a girl did kill herself here, I’d like to do something to honor her memory at the luau.”

Jennifer beamed, “Mahalo, Robin.” She hugged me.

“Mahalo… What does that mean? I’ve heard you say it before.” I asked. Rachel had begun to climb down from her bunk.

“It means gratitude, or thank you, doesn’t it?” She offered.

Jennifer nodded. “My mother’s people were described by the first outsiders as very generous, but they had no word for ‘Thank you’. I think it’s because they understood that gratitude for a kindness was expressed by returned kindness, with no need to say so. Still, I do want to thank you. You solved a problem I’d been kind of wrestling with and debating bringing up.”

“… I did?”

We all quietly waited for her to continue, “One idea I had was to do a kind of Island Princess thing, where girls from each cabin would nominate someone, and the entire camp would vote. But there simply isn’t enough time to get anything like that done, so I had put it aside as something to do if we do this again next year. I knew that girl you’re talking about,” she offered softly.

I pulled my sheets back and slid out of bed, sitting on the edge to hug her. Neither of us heard Alice as she stepped inside. “We weren’t like really close or anything, but I think we all mourned her loss in our own way. I think, given we don’t have enough time for a proper vote or anything, that it would be incredibly sweet to honor the memory of our fallen scout.”

Alice approached, breaking her silence, “What are you girls planning now? And what’s this about a fallen scout?”

Jennifer explained how I’d had another bad dream that led to our discussion of the apparently very factual suicide of a scout last year. She explained how the girl had learned she was pregnant, and couldn’t bear the thought of facing her parents when camp ended. When she spoke, it was in a reverent tone that I’d never heard her use before. It was utterly unlike her normally very laid-back attitude. She may not have known the girl very well, but it was clear she respected the dead.

“So I was thinking, since the camp just kind of swept it under the rug, that we could do something in her memory this year. I know there are girls here who remember, and it may be why so few signed up for CIT this year too.”

Alice nodded slowly, “That makes sense. I’ll… talk to Meredith. She’s not going to like it though.”

“I think it would bring some closure. It seems kind of unfair to just pretend it never happened, but I also understand where the staff is coming from as well, so I’ll respect their wishes.”

I was being awfully bold on the matter, but I felt I was doing the right thing. Even if they said no, I was still going to personally show my respects. That much I had already set my mind to do.

“Oh, speaking of which, thanks to Cynthia’s generous offer to loan us her truck, you can all go in to town this afternoon to shop for supplies. I had errands to run anyway so I already planned to bring two of you with me. Just be sure to have a complete list of supplies ready by noon.”

We all nodded and went about getting dressed. I couldn’t decide if it was fortune or misfortune that we had a modern facility on-site to do laundry. It meant we didn’t have the luxury of taking a trip into town otherwise, though it also gave us more time for the ‘total camp experience’ on the other hand.

It also meant this trip was going to be more special, as I’d get to see Margie under the guise of a costume fitting for the floral dresses we would wear for the party. For now though, we had to decide what to wear for the day! Since we’d be going to town later, I suggested we all wear our GSC camp T-shirts. Alice though, had a better idea. She asked us to wait in our cabin, and about five minutes later she returned with a large cardboard box.

“I completely forgot these finally arrived yesterday. They were supposed to be here for you all to wear from day one. Fortunately since there were only the five of you, it was easier for the other girls to recognize you though.”

She opened the box, pulling out a hunter green T-shirt with white lettering bearing the camp logo and “Girl Scout Counselor Trainee” on the front, with “Girl Scouts of America” on the back. She tossed it to me then handed out the rest.

“Whether or not you and Nicole officially join the scouts, you’re still CITs, which makes you honorary scouts. I think you should wear these with pride when we go into town today.”

None of us could resist trying ours on right away. I didn’t know how much Alice knew about me, so when I stepped into the bathroom to change, I did so under the guise of ‘needing to use the facilities’. As I stepped out, I asked cheerfully, “Hey, could someone French braid my hair please?”

As noon drew closer, we gathered at the staff lodge. I’d started something getting my hair braided, but also had the wonderful opportunity to learn to braid someone else’s. Counselor Dunham arrived first, and walked with us out to the staff parking lot. Parked beside her truck was a smaller banana yellow Toyota pickup. I had to giggle a little. It almost looked like a toy compared to the diesel-driven monster Cynthia owned.

“Sorry I’m late,” Alice offered with a sheepish smile as she approached, “Someone was bee stung so I had to make sure she’d be okay,”

I flinched, “Is she?” I hadn’t been stung since I was extremely young, but I’d been assured each time I’d been given a shot that it was a similar sensation, minus the allergic reaction venom created. I didn’t have fond memories of either event.

“Nurse Brianna’s watching it closely, but it looks like she’s not allergic. Do you have your lists?”

I held up my list, as did Allison, “Jennifer and I are on party decoration duty. Allison and Nicole are taking Rachel with Ms. Dunham to get the lumber for the stage, and Allison knows how to find my sister Margie’s clothing store for our dresses.

“Also, Mrs. Morgan’s going to meet us there to discuss food as well. Oh, we also decided to compromise on the leis. We’re going to use realistic fake flowers because they last longer and they’re cheaper, with the exception of the lei I plan to make for Crystal, our fallen scout. Even if Meredith says no, I want to make one for her, but I promise I won’t tell anyone who it’s for if she does say no,” I offered solemnly.

She smiled at that, “I admire your spirit, Spirit. Meredith wants to talk to you about that when we return, but that’s all I’m permitted to say for now. Alright girls, let’s load up!”

I saw her move toward the little Toyota, and for a moment I started to feel guilty about giggling at it earlier. To my relief, she simply pulled on the door handle. “Bree asked me to make sure her truck was locked since she couldn’t remember.”

“Wow. You didn’t strike me as the minivan type, Alice.” I offered as she shut off the alarm to a sleek-looking newer-model white van. She chuckled as the side door slid itself open for us and I hopped inside, deferring Jennifer to take the front without her even asking.

“Hey, no fair. I didn’t even get to call shotgun,” she teased as she sat. “Wow this is nice.”

It only took about thirty minutes for us to reach Alpine Springs. Apparently Cynthia likes to drive fast: a point Alice commented under her breath several times. The first thing we did was hit the party supply store. Since we were able to calculate a rough estimate of how much everything would cost, and because Alice vouched for us, we managed to get a purchase order with the promise that we would reimburse the camp as soon as we had pooled our private finances, as we did promise to pay for everything ourselves.

We ran down our list, acquiring the needed decorations, candles, and ready-to-assemble torches first. We also took great care to buy only biodegradable paper plates and cups, which is a lot more difficult a task than you’d think! But we were scouts and had to set a good example.

We pushed our two cartloads toward the checkout, where a young man, probably seventeen, stood bored at the register. He perked right up when he saw us coming, giving us a goofy grin, “Find everything okay?”

I nodded, “Almost everything. We’re planning a big luau this Saturday for our girl scout camp so we still need flowers to make leis.”

“Ah, sweet!” he responded, glancing at Jennifer with a grin, “It’s a shame it’s a girl scout thing or I’d ask if you had a date yet.” Jennifer blushed, causing me to giggle.

“Yeah, sorry, it’s girls only.” I offered.

“Oh hey, if it’s flowers you want my mom works at the florist’s. Y’know, the one on Main? Tell her Josh sent you and she’ll probably give you a discount.” I felt unbelievably thankful it was Jennifer he was trying to impress and not me, as he rang up the last of our purchases.

Alice took care of the purchase order while we loaded our bags into the carts. I couldn’t resist grinning as we left, waving at our dashing cashier. “Bye Josh. Thanks for the tip about the florist’s.” Jennifer just giggled as she waved.

“Oh my God, Spirit!” She laughed. “I thought you and Nikki were… y’know?”

“What? I was just being nice. Besides, he was eyeing you like a piece of prime rib. He so would have asked you to the party if it wasn’t a girls only thing!”

That pretty much set the mood for the rest of our trip. We stopped by the florist’s, and Josh’s mom was only too happy to help us. I was actually a little surprised they had such a wide variety of fake flowers available.

I of course also asked her about some real ones, and when I explained what those were for, she gave me a solemn smile and insisted, despite my best efforts, that Crystal’s would be no extra cost. She also gave me advice on how to keep them looking fresh until the party.

We pulled up to Margie’s clothing store, ‘Touch of Style’ shortly after Counselor Dunham. Rachel excitedly tugged me over to the truck. Not only had they gotten the lumber they needed, but something ‘extra’.

“Oh my God! Jen come look!” I squealed. Jennifer and Alice came running, and the former started laughing. Sitting in the back of the truck on top of a pile of lumber were four large tiki masks of varying style.

“Where did you find these? They look so authentic!”

Cynthia grinned, “It’s all Rachel’s doing.”

Rachel nodded, “Totally accidental,” she offered sheepishly. I couldn’t help feeling that wasn’t even half the story. Nicole giggled.

“Yeah, she accidentally flirted with a cute boy when he asked what we needed all this lumber for. Turns out the hardware store just got a shipment of these things in last week. They usually keep them on hand for summer parties like ours.

“They’re factory-made of course, but the company that makes them apparently prides themselves in making them look real.”

By now, Margie had seen us through the storefront window and come out to greet us. I practically threw my arms around her as I squeezed her close.

“Wow, Robin you look great!” She bubbled. I giggled as I introduced her to everyone, and after a round of hand-shaking and how-do-you-dos (and her practically giggling at the surprise in Cynthia’s truck-bed) she led us inside.

We must have gone through a dozen dresses each, looking for that perfect style. Jennifer settled on a gorgeous strapless dark blue dress with white flower patterns, Nicole chose a red one in a similar cut and length, with a lily pattern, and so forth. I was in the dressing room when Mrs. Morgan arrived, so I missed most of that conversation.

Nicole gave me the condensed version when I stepped out. They’d settled on sample platters of the more exotic foods, while arranging for enough ‘normal’ food for everyone to have as much as they wanted. Did I mention Nicole’s adopted mom was awesome?

We joked that Alice and Cynthia could get away with grass skirts and coconut bras, being older, but they politely declined. We did finally coerce them into trying on a few tropical print dresses though. Alice bought a beautiful knee-length white dress with red flowers, and as for me, I finally settled on a gorgeous silver flower-embroidered silk dress with a tapered hem. I knew my body wasn’t ready for anything strapless yet, but this worked well with the little bit of figure I did have.

Purchases in-hand at the family discount, we made our way back to camp, dividing into two teams. Team one, Allison and Nicole took our dresses, party supplies, and decorations to the staff lodge for secure storage, while team two began unloading the tiki masks.

They were a lot heavier than I expected, so it took Rachel and me three trips back and forth between the lodge to get them all unloaded. By the third trip, several girls had begun wondering what we were up to.

As we came out of the lodge after dropping off the last of the tiki masks, Elaine, one of the girls I met after my little riding accident the other day, came up to us, “Um, Spirit? A bunch of us have been watching you since you got back. Is it true you’re hosting a luau?”

I grinned, nodding, “Jennifer is half-Hawaiian, so she’s kind of our advisor on the project.”

“That is so cool! Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Absolutely! Counselors are supposed to be asking for volunteers this afternoon anyway, but we could really use your help carrying lumber down to the lake right now.”

As we walked, a few of the more hesitant girls finally joined us. I explained what we were planning and why we needed all the lumber.

“I’ll go see if I can get some tarps to protect everything in case it rains,” one girl offered, running off down the path, another following after her to help.I couldn’t help but grin at Rachel, who just giggled.

We made several trips back and forth that afternoon; I hadn’t realized how much wood we’d need for a proper stage. Work began immediately under the adults’ supervision, and I’d be lying to say I wasn’t truly amazed at how easily things were coming together.

I was so caught up in it all, that I’d forgotten Director Meredith wanted to speak with me. We covered up our half-finished stage with tarps and weighed those down with stones from nearby. I was hot, sweaty, and more than a little exhausted as I sat on the lake shore, Meredith’s voice shattering the silence, but softly.

“I’m really impressed with your progress, Spirit.” She offered, as she carefully knelt to sit beside me.

“Everyone’s worked together to really pull this off. I just helped put things in motion,” I offered, blushing a little.

She put her hand on my shoulder and shook her head, “I’m not talking about the party, dear. I’m talking about you. When I first saw you last Tuesday, I was sure this was some sort of camp joke in bad taste. I saw a shy, nervous girl who’d never been to camp at best. But you’ve really blossomed. The few girls who have said anything bad about you were vehemently disarmed by their peers before camp staff could even say anything.”

I looked up at her with unease, “People are talking about me?”

She nodded, “As I said, a few have had bad things to say. There are a few every year who think that because they’re not the center of attention, that they can displace their feelings onto others. You’ve pressed on and you’ve been absolutely exemplary in what a girl should strive to be.

“Alice told me you wanted to honor the memory of Crystal Grace. I was reluctant at first. I didn’t want to put a damper on things. Her cabin was sealed until we absolutely needed it for your protection. What is it you want to do for her?”

I looked out across the lake and smiled, “I’m making a lei out of real flowers. To kick off the party, we wanted to honor her spirit as guest of honor. The original idea Jennifer had was to elect an honorary Island Princess, but since we wouldn’t have time to get all the votes in, we wanted to instead honor Crystal.

“Jennifer says her people believe words can bring life, but words can bring death. I want my words to bring closure, for her memory and for any girl who still mourns her loss. I know Jen and Ally are still bothered by it, and, if you’ll forgive me for saying so, the way the camp handled her death it just feels like a lot of other girls never got to say goodbye.”

She surprised me with a gentle hug. I looked up to see a few stray tears in her eyes. “Granted.” She said softly as she stood, turning to walk away. It never occurred to me before, how Crystal’s death must have affected her. Jennifer and Allison spoke of how she’d been camp director for as long as they could remember. It must have hurt her deeply as well.

Nicole came up and sat beside me after Meredith walked away. “What was that about?”

“Crystal,” I offered with a smile as I wrapped her in a hug. “She says we can go forward with our plans.”

“Awesome.” She giggled. “So, um… You want to go back to the cabin and relax? You know, away from prying eyes? Wink wink nudge nudge?”

I laughed as we stood, grinning. “I thought you'd never ask.”