You Must Die Before You Live
Copyright 10/2/2020
Barbie Lee. Proofed by Catherine Linda Michel.

Story may be shared but not published for profit or any other gains.

Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels
 

Part 29 of 29

Epilogue, October 9, 2020
The whole Covid-19 mess has left me with a great deal of time on my hands. One of the things I have done is re-read my diaries from the beginning of my transition. I've decided that sharing them might be a help to someone else who is thinking that living as a woman is a desirable thing to do, so I've excerpted those parts about transitioning.

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Part 27 of 29

Thursday, December 26, 2013
I have a decision to make, and I've been putting it off. Mary Ann and I have been tossing around our options and her family has been able to offer some pretty good advice, but the decision is mine in the end. No, that's not completely true. Mary Ann and I have to make the decision together as it affects the both of us.

Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels
 

Part 25 of 29

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Turkey day. No, not the day we eat the turkey but the day we get the turkey. Seems like a lot of fuss to get a turkey when the supermarket had piles of them in the freezer, but Eve swears it's worth the effort for a fresh organic turkey.

 

Part 21 of 29

Monday, September 9, 2013
Much food for thought in Psychology today. Only the second class and my head is spinning. The prof dug right in with personality types. The old Greeks decided there were four: choleric, melancholic, sanguine, and phlegmatic. Meyers-Briggs thinks there are sixteen. Other people throw other numbers into the pot. Kind of like a lottery but nobody is a clear winner.

 

Part 18 of 29

Wednesday, September 4, 2013 (continued)
All of my musing on the past is how I started my day. Because of my late enrollment, the only English Literature class with any openings occurred at eight o'clock on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Since Monday was Labor Day, school started on Wednesday. Thus I began my day wandering around campus lost and confused. Over the summer I had gotten used to the library's more civilized hours, opening at ten. I had to get up before the sun in order to shower, dress and ride the bus.

 

Part 15 of 29

Thursday, August 15, 2013
Had another session with Audrey today. No tears and heavy stuff this time, but more "What do I do from here?" Somehow when I talk to Audrey I have to get things straight in my mind so I can tell her about them. She knows the right question to ask when I run dry and she's helping me.

 

Part 14 of 29

Saturday, August 10, 2013
The three weeks are up! Well, close enough. This morning I took my starter earrings out of my ears (that turned out to need a pair of pliers, the things seemed to be welded together) and wore a new pair. I had gotten a special pair for the occasion, with a rainbow of small stones dangling from fine silver chains. Outrageous Earrings, Mary Ann calls them. I suppose they are, but I really like them. It's fantastic to feel the little jewels on my neck and I just love seeing them in the mirror. On me!

 

Part 13 of 29

Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Is it genetic? Why can't women leave the phone ringing when there is something else going on? It's not like we don't have an answering machine that we can check later. I have no trouble letting the thing ring if I am doing something important.

 

Part 11 of 29

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
My new glasses are in. They look just as cool as I hoped they would, very feminine. I did get one of those hanger things and I get a kick of having my glasses bounce off my breasts when I take them off.

Angel is easily amused, sometimes.

 

Part 10 of 29

Sunday, July 21, 2013
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Grandpa would be proud of the literary allusion, but I need to write this down and out of my system. Today was cold, wet and rainy; a perfectly lousy day which was all the worse for the beautiful day outdoors yesterday. Grandpa and Eve went off to the Liar's Club so it was just me and Mary Ann.

 

Part 8 of 29

Wednesday, July 10
Who was that idiot that ended the last entry talking about how much fun this summer is going to be? He must have been insane. Well, maybe not insane, but he sure wasn't looking very far ahead. Today has been quite a revelation.

 

Part 7 of 29

Monday, July 8
I could hear the water singing in the pipes as Mary Ann took her shower. I had just gotten out of the shower myself. My body was dry but my crew cut was still a little bit damp. I stood in my bathrobe, eyes still glazed with sleep, a bra dangling from my hand.

MY bra.

 

Part 6 of 29

Wednesday, July 3
Nothing much to write about lately. Since last Friday night I know that Grandpa and Eve are comfortable with me dressed up so I haven't been watching the clock and changing before they get home. It feels like family, even more so than my own family. I love Mom and Dad, and even my little sister, and they love me, but there is a wonderful feeling of acceptance here. I don't have to watch myself to avoid a lecture on God's will if I do something Dad doesn't approve of.

Egypt, Eight Years Ago, Newly Discovered Archaeological Dig:
“Bart, tell me again why we are out here checking this site out?” Casey couldn’t see how this had anything to do with the CIA or National Security.

“The boys at Langley intercepted a message saying that an unusual artifact of unknown origin had been found.” Bart Hardy hated being out in the desert at night.

 

Part 3 of 29

Sunday, June 16
What a day! Mary Ann is showering and I have a few minutes by myself to write. I feel like Alice after she fell through the looking glass, things are getting curiouser and curiouser indeed!