well, yesterday I went to the doctor's about my foot, and my 2nd worst fears have been confirmed. My worst fear was that it was cancer, which it isn't, but my second-worst fear was that they would tell me there's nothing more they can do for me, and that's what's happened. Apparently, they don't think surgery is a good choice because the risks of nerve damage, so basically, I can try to stuff a pad into my shoe and hope that helps, and otherwise, I get to just live with it.

Ah, well. with my gender issues, I already knew I wasn't gonna ever be pain free anyway ...

well, I have a rough draft of what I want to say in church on June 8, and I would really like some opinions on it. If you're interested, please send me a private message.

Well, I have been asked if I wanted to speak at my church during the Pride service on June 8. If you're the praying type, pray I do the community and my God proud with my words.

Well, I just got home from my group therapy session, and once again, I am in tears.

Its not news, but I am a total wuss when it comes to pain.

For example, I am currently in tears because my mouth hurts so much.

Well, happy Mother's day, everyone.

If you can, be kind to a mother. Your mother for preference, but you can pick another mother if you need to ...

Well, apparently, I have very stubborn testosterone.

If anybody is interested, I have created a Big Closet Fan page on Facebook

Here is a link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1418685195068872/

check it out, and join, if you wanna!

After my group therapy session, I stopped at a local mall and looked around, including a walk through the bookstore, and I came across a book called "623 stories you can write". I took a peek inside, and it had story titles or questions like "you're an astronaut - describe one day in your life", or "describe the worst Thanksgiving day dinner ever".

I forgot to get the name of the authors, but I'm sure someone could find the book if they were interested in writing but have trouble finding good ideas.

Just a quick note to thank all the people who sent me good wishes during the last couple of days.

You're all amazing, thank you.

Before I do anything else in this blog entry, an apology.

I'm sorry this entry isn't gonna be fluffy kitties and rainbows.

Well, I'm sorry to report that I am no longer part of a couple.

There are a great many things I can say about me.

I was broken.

I'm healing.

I'm still not who I want to be.

I'm no longer who I was.

I was doomed to be trans, no matter what.

Well, I learned some things yesterday because of a combination of a story from when I was born my mother told me and a memory from before I met my first girlfriend that I had not thought about since.

The story my mom told me is that I almost died just after I was born. I wouldn't gain weight, so they decided to leave me with my mother so she could feed me whenever I would take it.

It would be three months before I was out of the woods.

Now, for the memory.

As some of you know, as a consolation prize for my entry in the last contest, I won a freebie visit to the hatbox, so I took advantage and read as many of the stories as I could.

Warning: the following blog talks about religion. As that is a sensitive subject with some people, please read with care, and if you comment, keep it friendly.

Well, I had my first session in group therapy today, and it was okay, I guess.

It was all women, I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not, but it made an interesting dynamic.

I got hit on at church today, or I think so.

I am writing a story for Jaci's birthday, but due to circumstances, its obviously running late. Be finished and published soon, I hope.

Well, if I needed proof I've got the best mom in the world, I got it yesterday.

Well, my ex has managed to do something I never thought she'd do - she apparently is using my male name is a a pejorative.