Before you read on, let me start things off by saying that I am trans m2f. Figured since I mostly keep to myself on here it might help to throw that out when reading the rest of this. Carry on!

You don't hear anything from me in a while, don't fret.
Due to my own stupidity i'm now homeless so my access to - well anything is going to be a bit hit and miss for a while.
So there we are, a tale of woe. Hopefully i'll get my act in order, I kind of a have an interim plan but that will likely have to wait until - well I get my head in order.

Ciao for now
Mads

so a very stressful day. Was running errands with my ex, and first I had an anxiety attack and had to go sit in the car for a bit. Then while we were just about done, we got a phone call saying my ex's best friend's mom had been in a car accident not far away. We went to see how she was, and although not hurt, she was clearly in shock. Then while we waited with her two different towing guys got into a fight about towing the car right in front of us.

Outside of stuff for work, I haven't really written anything in almost over two years. I've tried. I sit or lay down in front of my computer nearly every day to work on my writing.

July isn't my favorite month of the year.

Getting asked for divorce y my ex, practically tossed out of the house my mom and birthday getting closer again without reaching anything. And not mentioning all the rest of the day to day struggles. Urgh hate how depressing I feel. How lonely I feel.At least I have the pets ...

l

I have survived another year, and today celebrate my birthday. My birthday wish is that all my friends and family get their wishes granted.

Just a quick note to tell everybody my computer is down. I'll be back online when I can be.

To the people who care about me: I'm sorry. See, caring about someone is always risky. There is a chance you will get hurt by them. I'm not just talking about being disappointed, or betrayed, but hurt because the person you care about is hurting. So if you care about me, you've been hurt when I have hurt, and I'm sorry. And I'm afraid the hurting isnt over. See, I've been, so to speak writing checks my body cant cash for a long time, and it looks like nature is going to collect. And therefore I can see a lot of hurt in my future.

Well, just where have I been since January?

I had been working almost 7/7 on a long-term project that I've mentioned once or twice. This was impacting my home life but I couldn't see it at the time

What a week it's been !!!

I saw a Doctor today that actually knew what XXY folk could be like, and seemed to understand!!! He even confirmed that folk like me are often born with both sets of accessories, and felt that often the wrong organs were removed at birth. "ODDLY", back then, Doctors preferred to remove the girl stuff and would do almost anything to save the boy junk!!! It was nice to have that confirmation. Validation. :)

Okay, so for the last while, I've been sharing stories at a writing group every two weeks, and last night I shared part 2 of a story called "Six forty-five" (which you can find here: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/34885/six-forty-five ) and it went over well. So I came home to look at part 3, and ... I dont know. I'm seriously lacking confidence in it.

If anybody wants to look at it, and see if its better than my brain is telling me, that would cool ...

When I moved in to my brother and sister-in-law's basement, one of the things I agreed to was to take over the outside chores - mostly snow shoveling and lawn care.

At that time the thing I worried about was that my mental health issues would make doing these jobs tough.

I never dreamed how fast my physical health would deteriorate.

I never imagined that there would be a time when being out working for an hour would be a serious challenge.

I honestly dont know how long I can keep up to my promise, or what happens when I cant anymore.

sighs ...

for the first time in a while, I had a nightmare last night. It wasnt related to my rapes, but I'm still having trouble getting myself grounded, and today I have stuff to do that I cant put off. hugs appreciated.

As is true every year, Memorial Day weekend was not easy for me. Those of us who have served, those of us who have lost friends and comrades, those of us who have known loss - we will never forget.

But there are certain times certain things that spur our memories. This weekend was one of those for me. It is not just a time for remembrance, but a time for caring. A time for me to think of those who I have lost, and to think of those they left behind.

Answering a comment to my latest installment of Necessity is the Mother of invention, caused me to remember something a friend had said 40 years ago that I thought I would share.

The two of us were sitting in the mess hall, when a bible-thumper decided that the two of us needed to be re-educated by none other than himself. How this oracle of divinity knew that the two of us needed his guidance was beyond my knowledge, but alas he placed his holy book on the table in front of us as he unwelcomely sat down and proceeded to impart his great understanding of life to the two of us.

Last weekend we went to watch Karl (my beloved) play soccer for our church team. I know, I know it's a British game you guys invented and it's called football not soccer lol. Anyway, it seems that I committed a cardinal sin by talking/signing to a young lady whose boyfriend played in the opposing team. She's not deaf but does sign as one of her friends is deaf it helped me as well as I'm adapting to BSL. I saw a disruption out of the corner of my eye involving hubby it seems he injured this lady's B/F. I saw him literally flying over Karl's head as he slide tackled him I think he said.

Hello, and good morning to all.

I just joined BigCloset and I am learning my way around. Any help or pointers anyone may wish to offer will be gratefully received.

I am an older married guy who loves to slip into dresses and/or lingerie whenever I can. My wife is not intolerant but does not wish to be around when I do. I have no desire to lose her, so I confine my dressing up to those times when she is not here. I am happy with that arrangement.

I can, however, come to sites like this whenever I desire.

Anybody else have a word go missing from their vocabulary? I'm talking a simple, everyday word, one you've read and said hundreds of times just drop out and leave you half angry and half terrified?

Its happened to me. In fact, recently, I was trying to relate a story about a time when this happened, and the SAME WORD hat had given me such distress the first time disappeared as I was trying to talk about it.

Sighs. Dementia here I come ...

I've been nursing a toothache for more than a Month and finally went to an Emergency Dentist uninsured. Thankfully I had enough money to pay for it but my budget will be off for a few months now. I had the tooth pulled on 5-5-2019, and it was like getting beat up by thugs. It was a rear molar and he had to cut the tooth in two to get it out and one half of the tooth broke into fragments and he had to dig that out. I am sure that he had his muddy boots in my mouth. This was all conscious with only a local.