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Inspection time

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Author's note. This isn't exactly a Christmas story. It is a story that takes place at Christmas, and that's different.

Inspection Time

It was inspection time in Hell again. Once a year, on the anniversary of the beginning of that terrible period called the Incarnation, an angel came down to the dark pit and observed.

At first, this had rankled Satan. He felt like it was rubbing his face in it. But after a while, he realized it was an opportunity to show off his successes, and it seemed like there were more of those every year.

E.L.F.: Extremely Livid Faerie

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Inane Christmas music that some idiot had decided was the perfect Santa’s Workshop tune, echoed blandly in the noisy room. Just hours away from the Fat Man’s only reason for existing, everyone including those preposterous excuses for reindeer, were getting ready for the Visit.

Christmas Shoes


Christmas Shoes

By
Maggie Finson

This story was inspired by a song of the same name done by a gospel group called New Song. If you want to hear some really moving Christmas music I urge you to look them up.

I was shopping late for Christmas, not unusual for a guy my girl friend was fond of teasing me, in a women’s shoe store. And no it wasn’t for my girlfriend. I was looking for something for myself.

Yes, Santa Claus...

lights06.gif


Yes, Santa Claus...

by Andrea Lena DiMaggio


 


Memo:

To:
Justin Winter, Editor-in-Chief
Elfin Gazette
136 Thankful Ave. North Pole, Arctic Circle

From:
Santa Claus, President & C.E.O. ClausInc.
115 Grateful Way, North Pole, Arctic Circle
December 1, 2010

Diamond in the Rough-1

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Diamond in the Rough

by Lynceus

Lee Crawley had given up on trying to be a hero a long time ago; the world owed him a living, and he intended on taking whatever he wanted. Then he made the mistake of thinking superpowers would make his life easier...

The Cat’s in the Cradle

Catwoman.jpg Cat's in the Cradle

 


Some decisions made mean that irreparable harm may happen to humanity, but will that stop Catwoman from actually doing it? And how much trouble will she be in with Jade?

A Cop's Story

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Author's note: this is somewhat based on my real experiences, although slightly fictionalized. It has some strong themes, involving the abuse of a child, but I think i handled it with enough sensitivity that it is readable, but the reader is hereby cautioned in case i have failed. I promise, I will get back to silliness of "The Lucky One" soon.

A Cop’s Story

My Super Secret Life-2.

My Super Secret Life-2

Chapter 2

I stared at myself, and in the mirror. “Wow…I’m kinda hot.”
Annnnd, suddenly I kind of feel like a retard for saying that.
But, I look good.
And I’m huge.
No, Sonny…look later.

I sneak to the door and peek out. There’s three guys with those stupid stocking masks yelling for everyone to get down. They’ve got shotguns. I’m not even sure what I was thinking but I slipped out and moved between the aisles keeping as far out of sight as I could. I grabbed a big can of pineapple juice and hefted it, weird it kinda felt like Styrofoam?

Last Full Measure

Last Full Measure
By Ellie Dauber  © 2010

This is another story of Jakov Pauli, an assassin who specializes in identity death.

* * * * *

For the third time, Mike Ryan stared up from his booth at the clock on the wall of the diner. “14:33 hours,” he mumbled under his breath. “He’s late.”

“In point of fact,” a voice said, “that clock is five minutes fast. I am early.”

Mike spun around. A tall, slender man — about 40, Mike guessed — stood looking down at him. “Are you Pauli?” Mike asked.

Duty and Destiny - Part 8

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twoofswords.jpg
duty and destiny
part 8
 
by armond

 

The Battle of Drachill Basin is underway, and the Arcum trap has been sprung. Meanwhile in Glamorgan, the Princesses, including Caden, struggle to ready their people for the fray.

I'd Do Anything for Love...But I won't do that.

I’d Do Anything for Love…But I won’t do That.

I can’t help but stare at the sight of the forty odd people kneeling before me with golden eyes flashing in the lodge’s firelight and all had lengthened canines.

I really, really should be freaking out right about now…

Force of Will

Will Slater wants to be as popular as his older brother John, the high school’s star quarterback. He thinks he’s found a way to make his dreams come true. The trouble with dreams is that they tend to go off in directions you'd least expect — and for most folks, trying to steer a dream can turn it into a nightmare, or take you places you'd never thought you'd go.

 

Force of Will

by Randalynn

Copyright © 2010 Randalynn. All Rights Reserved.

Blackmail (how not to...)

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Blackmail
(How not to!)

by mittfh
 
Copyright © 2010 Ben Norwood.

Creative Commons License  This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Licence.

A silly idea came to me (and turned into this nonsense within an hour) - what if a blackmailer hadn't done his research and what he assumes is the target's devastating secret isn't (exactly)(much of) a secret...

Things that go bump in the night

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Things That Go Bump in the Night
by SamanthaMD

“George” said the woman lying next to her husband in bed.

He continued snoring gently.

“George!” she said more urgently.

Then she gave him a kick. The snoring stopped.

“Wassup?” he said sleepily

“They’re at it again”

“At what again?” he said totally disinterested manner.

Sweet Dreams-5...I'll never have them

Sweet Dreams I’ll Never have them-5

Chapter 5

Monday?

It hurt, dreaming had hurt. It had been awhile since I had dreamt about my dad. It had been as much as about him as it had been about my childhood. Yeah I know I’m not really that old.
But I really feel old.
I know, that I shouldn’t be but.
There’s just got to be a point where you just can’t take it anymore.

Clayface

An almost been actor, a fly-by-night production company, an experimental make-up, an electical storm, and the metagene. Stir thoroughly and what do you get?

Clayface, and other characters belong to DC, the Comic Retcon was Lilith's idea. Thanks for letting us play. The image is from Wikipedia. All mistakes are mine, all mine.

Alternate text

It is never too late!

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[An old story penned around 2004 but if you read my comment at the end, it is strangely relevant: Samantha]

The day I had been fearing for some time finally came. Rumours were flying everywhere and finally, just before knocking off time we got word to assemble in the works canteen for an important announcement.

There was an expectant hubbub of noise even though we all know what was going to happen.

The works director came in and turned to face us.

“Ladies and Gentlemen. It gives me no pleasure to have to tell you this but effective today, this factory will close its gates forever”

There was a stunned silence. We knew it was going to be bad but not that bad.

The Mirror Clock (part 1)

The mirror clock doesn't so much tell the time as catalogue your losses and measure your regrets.

That sounds a little opaque so I'll try and explain from the beginning, if you'll let me.

Chloe's new life

A transgender, smoking involved, slightly twist ending story.

Yes! I'm a crossdresser Mum! in that one simple sentence, Alan was fully exposed in the worst possible manner, to his own mother in her house and in mostly her clothes.

And the smoking! she exclaimed, He felt more shame and embarrassment over this one, as for years he had been so vocal in trying to make her quit, yes, I smoke a little too Mum, but never when I am wearing my male clothes.

But you,,,,I?,,, you, Oh I can't think Alan, and she stormed out of the room.

Pass On What You Have Learned - 7 - Confrontation

At Melanie's urging Laura finally goes back to confront her family. How will they react?
Pass On What You Have Learned
by Saless
Part 7 - Confrontation

Gazelle

Gazelle
Started by Zoonatic
Finished by Paul Calhoun

Dear reader: Up to the first break, it's Zoonatic and from there on it's all me. This is something of his I felt could be extended. It's some of my earliest work in furry fandom. About four years now, I think. Not really up to the same standard as the Unplanned Adventures, but in a similar vein and I figured why not? There are plenty of things in this that could be considered prototypes for later development in the UA, and it isn't half bad, although it could be improved. Then again, a year after writing anything I believe that.

Dreams and Truth

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Falling girl

Dreams and Truth

It should be raining, Robert thought. It seemed like whenever there was a funeral in the movies or on TV, it was raining. But for a early November afternoon, it was sunny and warm. He found it hard to grieve for his mother. In one way, she had been gone for a while, lost in Alzheimer’s.

He found it also ironic that she would be buried today, on November 11, Remembrance Day. She had been, after all, the daughter of a soldier, and a soldier’s wife. For some reason the old poem came into his mind.

Freshly Driven

Freshly Driven
By Paul Calhoun

Dear reader: This was a request by a semi-friend of mine that I think went rather well. Upshot: A wandering mercenary/knight takes a job to slay a dragon who has been eating the local maidens. The problem is that the dragon refuses to fight honorably and will not appear unless the maiden is completely alone.
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Head Case

Head Case

By Paul Calhoun

Summary: Another crossdresser, this time more experienced, tries a new thing and gets into more trouble than he'd expected when his fursuit head gets stuck. Illustrations done by the same person as who did WVI, and so once again you can extend this story with money or illustrations.
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PDF here: http://www.deviantart.com/download/185202942/head_case_by_ch...

The Unplanned Adventures Part N/A - Unwise Conjugation

Unwise Conjugation
A vignette in the UG series which may or may not have ever happened.

By Paul Calhoun

Dear reader: The events of the next story will show that this short (which was de-canoned even as I thought of it) could not occur before at least two years from the one previous to it. Much like Unexpected Good's epilogue, this is more of a vague possibility than anything else. For reference, the two following images which don't belong to me were the catalyst if not inspiration for this story:

The Unplanned Adventures Part 4 - Uncertain Collaboration

Uncertain Collaboration

By Paul Calhoun

Dear reader: Things go in the predictable manner and we have our heroes making good on their previous decision. Not much else to say except that I've recently been told I ought to use paragraphs, and I can reveal that in two more sections, I'll post the PDF, which has all these problems that my poor understanding of HTML (would you believe I moonlight as a pro web designer?) cannot fix, like indentation and the abysmal leading you get on these things.

Two Letters

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Two Letters

by
Jonelle

Dear Jack,

I know you've always been there for me, to protect me and keep me safe from harm. I do appreciate it, I really do. It's just that I've had enough. I can't take it any more. It's way beyond time for me to have my own life. To seek the kind of happiness you've had so many years to find for yourself.

You've failed miserably, repeatedly.

It's long passed time for me to have a shot.

Abby Normal

Marty Feldman as Eye-gor
     
Abby Normal

by Jennifer Brock

In the movie Young Frankenstein, there's a scene where Igor (that's "Eye-gor") makes an error and the brain that Dr. Frankenstein (that's "Fronkensteen") uses in the monster is not the one Igor had been sent to collect. Instead of the brain of brilliant scientist Hans Delbruck, he says he brought the brain that had been labeled "Abby Normal." This story takes the premise "What if Igor wasn't lying?" This is the story of Abby Normal, and what happened to her brain. (Note that although inspired by a comic take on Frankenstein, this story uses elements from several adaptations, and is a more serious take on the subject matter.)

One of My Teachers

One of My Teachers
By BillieBob
audrey-hepburn_1.jpg
Ever get a crush on one of your teachers in school?
If you’re lucky, you only make a fool of yourself!
Another tale that’s a ‘little different’. Like me.

Teacher's Pets

Boring! That is how I would describe the school days at Harriet Miller High School. I swear my teacher's had taken their teaching style from watching Ben Stein's character on "The Wonder Years" My girlfriend Liza and I would spend our time passing notes to each other and still managed to get every single thing our teacher said. It was like this in nearly every class. We both decided that we needed to liven things up, so we would pull out a Fart machine and start letting it go off at different times.

Connections.

Connections

I don’t know even how to really tell a story, much less one like this. My name is Jamie Stevens and I’m I’d like to think I’m an average guy. Even to the point of thinking I’m a freak sometimes. I think everyone has that thing in their head saying I’m not normal.

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