Well met, fellow writers and readers - I'd like to introduce myself :)

About myself, Machara Stormwing

I do a lot of reading in Anthropology, Astronomy, Psychiatry, Religious History, and other things equally as mind bending.

Really focused on where Homo Sapiens came from and why we are such violent pricks? And, coming from such uber conservative religious stock, life is anything but a "funny funny riddle". This time of year is really awful.

So, this mornings forecast wasn't great but with going away later in the week it's the Penultimate chance to top up the miles and metres. I had a route in mind, 100km out into Gaby land with a stop about halfway for a light lunch.

I'm feeling quite fit, a good session without anything too taxing so I depart at the end of the rush hour. My route has about 2km of on road tram running, i've managed to go 20 years without issue so I was quite confident of my technique.

I've said it before here, and I'll say it again: I'm a huge game geek.

I've been looking to re-obtain a 360 for a while now, since I have a stack of games for it and the original Xbox I've acquired over the last couple of years via yard sales and thrift stores because they were too good of deals to pass up, even if I didn't have the console at the moment.

That all changed last night, when I traded a friend of mine at work a spare NES I had lying around plus a few carts for his old 360 he doesn't play any more. Now I can play all those games, horray!

In honor of TDOR, here is a link to a story of mine:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/32200/tapestry-stars

just about anybody who has had a pet can tell you they sneak their way into your heart, and losing them is a grief as large as any grief you can suffer.

Well, we are getting close to that point with our dog, Little Lady.

Her one back leg is causing her such pain she cannot put any weight on it, and she collapses or limps continually.

I believe it is arthritis, as it seems to get worse at night and on colder days, but we're going to try and find out for sure.

I had a sad dream last night.

I dreamed that I was visiting a school, and had promised a kid I would see him in his class, only I got lost, lost my copy of Lord of the Rings which I had been carrying with me, and eventually left the school after all the classes were done and I had been told I had disappointed the kid, and then I tried to go home but found a gigantic hill behind the school that I tried to climb and failed.

In honor of Remembrance day, let me share a story about my grandfather.

My grandfather served in WW II with the "Calgary tanks", and as such was on the front lines of almost every battle involving Canadians.

He helped fight Rommel in Africa, helped invade Italy, and much more.

He was wounded several times. pieces of shrapnel were permanently lodged in his lungs, and in his shoulder.

He had been told, as most were, that the war would be over in months, but served six years. In the process, he missed his small children growing up.

The ship was lost on a subterranean ocean when out of the darkness came a ghastly sight, a phantom ship crewed by a LOT of unkillable, leaping, cuthroat vermin.

"Fireballs away," ordered the captain but the bugganeers managed a boarding party anyway.

After trading a few blows, one of the players called to pause the action. "Wait, wait, I need to ask something."

"Yes?" said the adventurist.

"We're fighting Undead Ninja Pirate Spiders?"

"Yes," agreed the adventurist.

So most everyone has gone home and the dust is starting to settle. We've not gone on the Honey Moon yet (that's in just under 2 weeks) but we are starting to find our slightly new routine.

For those that don't know, last Saturday (October 28th, 2017) CapturedByThePast and I officially (in both the eyes of the Church, and the state of NJ) tied the knot. It wasn't a big wedding or reception but for the most part, the people who mattered most to us were there.

The bills are paid, and for Amy (capturedbythepast) has started signing things with her new name.

2 weeks in hospital.

Because, I guess the universe decided things weren't interesting enough around here, i found out tonight that my brother has an enlarged prostrate, and while they haven't said the "c" word yet, its looking like its headed in that direction. You add in my dog having walking issues, my mom now has high blood pressure, and I'm ... well, I'm me, and I could stand having a little less stress ...

Sighs.

Hugs, prayers, and positive vibes accepted.

If you read my last blog

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog-entry/68921/being-anonym...

you will know I am going through a bad time right now.

As I've said I will not self harm, but laying on my back willing myself to die can not be healthy. J My Samsung J3 phone went south when I really needed it.
Guess it is time to write a story or something...

Well, I beat my anxiety, and got stuff accomplished today. I got my blood work done, got some questions answered about Canada Pension, and best of all, got my report for October done for emergency financial aid, which has been beating me silly all week.

Yay !!!!!

I had a "I cant believe I was that stupid" moment today.

I had been fighting depression and being sick for the last week, so I hadnt shaved.

So I thought I would use nair to get the hair down to the point where I could get a blade through it.

unfortunately, I messed up, got some on my cheek, and burned myself.

sighs ...

my life is hard enough, I really should stop trying to make it harder ...

okay so I am not sure what's wrong with me right now.

I feel "off" in some ill-defined way, but I cant put my finger on what is going on.

Its a little frustrating ...

okay so I did my human book thing, and I think it went well. I got thanked by several of the students as well as the organizers for my participation.

Only bad thing was after it was over, it was only noon, but I basically had just enough spoons to get home, take my dog for a walk, and then I was done ...

This post has been a long time coming.

My life has been very very busy the last month or so. Preparing for Vacation at the beginning of next month. New job as a Teachers Aide at a Preschool taking up a lot of my time. My cancer is in Remission(didnt post about it on here cause I forgot) after 7 months of battling. Im babysitting a girl in the Preschool class that I teach this weekend and we're going to see the My little Pony movie.

As for my writing, I'm taking a break from it because I have no motivation to write and I just have no time to right now unfortunately.

I have volunteered with The University of Alberta department of Medicine as a "human book" - basically a way for medical students a chance to meet some real people who might be their patients in a few years, and in this case help them understand the needs of the LGBT community.

I went to the orientation today, and tomorrow morning I will be available for the students to speak

Wish me luck ...

All -

I've had a couple of folk inquiring about stories, and one kind soul asking if I'm okay.

Yes, I'm okay. Not as well as I'd like, but safely functioning.

Since the summer of 2012, I've been able to find work in the immediate vicinity of my house. I consider myself blessed for that, but the weeks have been well over the normal (for most full-time workers) 40 hours. It's challenging to cope with months of this heavy workload, though, even at my age, I'm enjoying learning more about my profession. (Electronic hardware, software, and systems engineering.)

Apart from mosquito bites, which are heading towards twenty, I'm having a good time. Saturday had to be the most successful day, when we managed to get into the back of the El Hondo reserve (near Elche) and met up with some birders we saw last year. I doubt we would have seen some of the species without the extra eyes and expertise.

Okay so today did not go well. It started with me oversleeping because somehow last night I accidentally set my clock wrong, then I carved a fairly good sized whole in my face shaving, then I went to welfare only to be told my doctor's note isnt what I need because it covers too short a period of time.

Sighs ... roadblocks are no fun ...

Well, today is been kinda a good news/bad news day.

First, the good news is I saw my psychologist and got both a letter for Welfare and his promise to complete forms for my application for handicapped assistance and send it in for me.

On the bad news, we had to go over some of the more painful parts of my history, and so i am slightly shaky, and its snowing, which is activating my arthritis.

Ah, well.

So I was able to get a doctor's note about not being able to work, but it took so long, I was not able to see someone at welfare about emergency assistance.

However, i did get an appointment for Wednesday, so that will do, and I see my psychologist and hopefully get my evaluation from him tomorrow.

Inch by inch, I move forward ...