I got a letter from the government health department, and here is a quote:

Worlds are colliding:

Or should I say, my worlds are colliding and I never thought that I would see the day it would happen.

There are people on this site who have been through (or are going through) more pain than I can even imagine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4xuZMpmXtc

Got to talking with a friend about SRS. and started crying happy tears. I'm a little emotional (okay, so I lied. I'm a LOT emotional), and I'm having trouble keeping it together.

Ah, well.

I posted a little something on Facebook, and I quote it here:

To my fellow Christians:

Well, I've had a busy day off. I went and did my month-end banking, got my daughter a bus pass for November, booked my car in for service tomorrow, started work on a new story and was contacted by the weight loss clinic and set up an appointment.

I was really happy about the last, because it means I can get started on a weight loss regimen right away, and I told them about the transition, and they seemed pretty cool with it, so that's good.

Another tiny step forward, I think.

My daughter noticed my breasts yesterday, calling them "grapefruit". On the other hand, she's still playing and giggling with me, so that's good.

Just wanted to pass along my prayers for everyone in the path of the storm, I pray you all come out in one piece.

I've just been outed again, and it hurts just as bad this time as the first time; funny that. Now it begins to make sense why some of us are such recluses.

I spent most of last night crying, not a good thing to do when delivering newspapers.

I don't know if it's the hormones or just me. I've been known to cry in the past.

Went out for lunch with my mom, and got a chance to talk with the waitress, and she was telling me about being a tomboy for a long time, and then surprising her male friends when she decided to get girly for a group that had come back from Afghanistan.

Its kind of funny, how many really pretty girls prefer to be super tom-boys, at least for some time in their lives, while I would have given just about anything for the privilege of being prettied up for a dance or whatever.

Ah, well.

One of the novels I love the most in life is Les Miserables. I've read both books, the abridged and unabridged, saw the play on Broadway (which is the only place to see a Broadway play), owned the cd, watched the pbs special from O2, and take a lot at any movie that comes out (one is due on Christmas).

I have been attacked by a nasty little bot that tried to steal my e-mail account. Unfortunately, my 'password reset'e-mail address is wrong, in that I presciently wrote 'mal' instead of 'mail'. I now have a new e-mail address, so those who have been contacting me through it will need a swap. PM me here for details. I will send it out to the usual suspects.

Arsebollocks

To the people who believe that you can be cured of a condition like being transgender, a big part of that is based on the idea that the environment a child grows up in makes the difference in terms of how secure they feel in their birth gender.

For example, they would look at my life, and the lack of any decent male role models, and then sexual abuse by a male on top of that, and conclude that this lack caused me to hate my gender, enough to want to become female instead.

She told me that in order for her to write a recommendation to a doctor, we need to have a good deep discussion about my gender identity? Does anyone have any suggestions for topics I should think about my answers to before hand and bring up with her on Wednesday.

I feel I should point out that I've been seeing her for a while, and that she said we were going to discuss more about my being transgendered.

I will no longer be going by the moniker of Little Katie. Since I keep my transsexualism a secret, I think it is hypocritical of me to refer to myself by that name. Besides, when I came up with the nickname over a decade ago, I did not realize that it would be associated with a certain sub-set which I am not privy to.

Thank you.

Well, after having a painful day at work, I gave up on the shoes and traded them in for a men's pair.

I've been having a lot of flashbacks lately, and its got me thinking about a story I wrote called "I am nine years old"

Here is a link, if you havent read it:

Well I've taken the plunge, just got back from my Docs after asking for a referal to Gender Shrink.

Last Sunday I went out with the 'big-boys' for the usual Sunday morning club ride. Nothing unusual except I was wearing some rather sexy lingerie under my winter cycling Lycra which tends to be heavier and thicker than the lightweight summer kit. The boys do know about me but usually I cycle with the second string group who comprise older men, most of the fitter ladies and me, Bev ...
However last Sunday by an unusual quirk only about 12 people turned up at 10 am so we decided to all go together.

"You up for this Shirley, Bev, Liz?" Asks Spot, the club captain.

I'm sure that nearly everyone here is familiar with the uncomfortable feeling of having to put up with your gender presentation and physical sex not matching exactly at one point or another. For me, it's a problem I used to have a lot.

Then I got fat again.

Been thinking a lot about my attractions to people since I did the "elephant in the room" post, and I found something odd looking back at the girls I had crushes on.

Yesterday I talked about being in the company of another trans girl suffering with a lack of confidence in her looks, despite the fact she is really good looking, and last night, it was like God decided to drive the point home to me.

I sat with some other girls at work on our lunch break, and listened as one talked about her struggles with her appearance, and how even now as an adult she sometimes finds it an issue.

And this is a genetic girl and a rather pretty one at that telling this story.