Denise and I both stayed out of school on Friday. I had my tea with me, and made sure I didn't miss my daily cup. By now I had breasts like little half-apples, and no longer needed padding to fill my bra. They weren't big breasts, but they were mine, and I hoped the tea would keep them growing.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Marcie," Mr. Bryant said, "but I can't hug you. I can send for the nurse, though."

In spite of everything, this made me laugh. "So she can hug me for you?"

"Maybe your little breasts are growing."

I didn't realize she was joking, so I said, "Maybe. Maybe wearing a bra is making it happen."

"Oh, right!" she laughed. "Are you serious? If that was all it took... Oh, wait! Your breasts are growing? You're not taking hormones, are you?"

"Oh," I said. "Remember when I told you that I'm not supposed to date? Well, I'm really not supposed to have you over when no one's home."

"You'll be home," he said playfully.

An upperclass girl came in to use one of the toilet stalls. I didn't look at her, but I heard her sit down. At the same time, there were noises from the boy's bathroom, which is on the opposite side of the wall. In a vague way I remembered Carla once telling me to never use this bathroom, but she didn't have a chance to explain why. I suddenly found out.

Auntie A inadvertantly challenged me to do this, so blame her...it is also being written 'live', so excuse any mistakes please. I won't be updating this nearly as frequently as Angharad, but more will be forthcoming.

Now, on with the show...

        As the sun crept up over the horizon, Steph and Lisa stood in front of the still-closed salon. Lisa, who had lost eleven pounds since February, was dressed in a pair of green and while cotton sweatpants that hadn't fit her since high school. She had steadily been losing around five pounds per month until May, when she'd gained five of them back. That fact was making her anxious and irritable, which was not lost on Steph, who was also wearing her old school colors.

"So," Miranda asked, grinning, "Is that your doll?"

"Yes," I replied. "Her name is Madison. I named her myself."

"That was very clever of you," she replied, "especially since her name is already Madison when you buy her in the store."
 

"So...," Mom began, "What are you going to do about boys?"

"Uh, boys?"

"Yes, what are you going to do when boys start showing interest in you?"

"What do you think I should do?" I asked (and I think I managed to sound very innocent).

Dad shook his head. "Your Mr. Bryant told me that in case we were in witness protection, our cover had been blown. I told him we aren't, but of course he doesn't know what to believe. How in the world do you get into these messes?"

"I don't know," I protested. "I don't do anything!"

Looking over her shoulder, Christina saw that her uncle was busy in the back room. She temporarily deserted her post behind the counter and walked to the far corner of the store where Richard had gone. As she rounded the corner of the aisle, she felt two hands on her hips lift her up off the ground and deposit her onto the glass freezer case where ice cream and other frozen goods were kept.
"Maybe I can help you warm up," Richard flirted as he wrapped his arms around Christina's waist. He gave her a long kiss and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Anyway," Ms. Tandy continued, "Why are you trying to keep a low profile? You're not on witness protection, are you?"

A student walking by overheard that remark, and his eyebrows shot up.

Synopsis: Terri begins to learn more about herself through a dream and discovers that her responsibility to herself extends past her hygiene.
 
 

"Miss Donner?" he asked, "Is your life usually so... exciting?"

"No," I said. "Just since I came here."

"Hmm," he said. "If things keep up at this rate, I won't need to watch television any more."

"Nina," I asked, "Do you think anybody knows this is just a doll?"

"Nope!" she replied brightly. "It looks too real."

"But it doesn't move," I said.

"So?"

I won't go through every detail of the day, but I will say that it didn't take me long to realize that Alice was joking when she said that waxing was fun. AND that it was nothing like waxing floors.

Realizing that she had been laying on Richard, unconscious, she nervously sat up and checked herself. Her mind panicked. Did he feel her fake breasts? What about her jeans? Did he go exploring there? How could she let this happen, she shouted in her brain as her heart raced.
Feeling rough fingers on her chin, her face was directed back towards Richard's and the man pulled her into a long kiss. Closing her eyes, Christina parted her lips and relaxed.
"It's okay," Richard assured her. I don't mind that you fell asleep. It was rather nice holding you."

When I was finally alone, lying in a huge bed in a huge dark room, I felt terrible. It wasn't just the residue of the waxy toy makeup. It was a crippling cosmic guilt like I've never felt before. I don't pray, but that night I slipped out of bed in my Hello Kitty nightgown and got on my knees.
 

"The only thing I want to change," I informed my parents, "is that I want to go to Lou's party on Saturday."

They glanced at each other for a moment, then Dad said, "As Tinkerbell, or Lite Brite?"

"It's Rainbow Brite," I corrected.
 

Ms. Tandy held up the doll and asked if anyone knew what it was.

One girl said, "A doll."

The teacher replied, "Come on, if it was that easy, I wouldn't have asked."

"Oh! Oh!" another girl called. "I know! I know!"

"That's not what I meant," she countered. "I mean that you have to behave. You can't be tricky and get around the rules. Rules are rules, and if you don't watch out, they can really bite you in the butt. If you're going to be a girl and not get caught at it, you have to keep your nose clean, keep a low profile, and not draw attention to yourself. You might think that teachers and adults are old and stupid, but they ignore a lot of stuff. They let a lot slide. If you flaunt the rules, people will notice, and when they have their chance, they'll lower the boom on you. Do you get me?"

"Mark, look. This isn't some sitcom on TV. It's real life. It's high school. Kids can be very cruel. You never know — one tiny slip, one little detail could give you away, and it would all be over. Then what would you do? Leave school? Run away?"