“Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?” Becca, Adeola, Kayla and I sing into our microphones, trying our hardest not to grin as we’re almost drowned out by several thousand screaming fans. “Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth… They say in heaven, love comes first, we’ll make heaven a place on Earth, ooh, heaven is a place on Earth!”

“I’m Jamie-Lee Burke, on behalf of Infemme- THE fragrance for women, exclusive to amazon.co.uk!” I grin widely as I place one hand on my hip whilst another holds up a bottle of expensive, branded perfume for the video and still cameras that are recording me. Naturally, my look is perfect. In addition to professionally-applied make up and nail polish, I’m wearing a chic, tight top, a cute black skirt with wavy pleats, opaque black tights, and my long blonde hair has been teased and styled to perfection.

“…Well, I guess that’s that, then,” Rob sighs. “You all know what this means.”

“We tried so hard to avoid it,” I mumble. “But in the end, I guess we’re just going to have to face up to it.”

“Yep,” Neil says. “I think in the end, we all knew this was going to happen sooner or later.”

“Yeah,” Rob sighs, leading to an awkward pause. “Next game… We open up box 8.”

“Ahh,” I sigh as I climb into the back of the black London taxi. After being on my feet for almost three hours- especially feet that are contained with platform stiletto heels- the feeling of being able to sit down is almost orgasmic.

“Do you want some time alone with your seat?” Sarah giggles as she slides onto the seat next to me.

“Maybe if the seat was a washing machine,” I whisper to Sarah, making her almost double over in a fit of giggles.

Note: This story, like the television show, is based upon real events.

Darrin Gets Bewitched

“The conservatorship papers were filed yesterday.” Helen responds.

I feel betrayed. “And you know this because you provided one of the affidavits.” I not bothering to hide my disappointment.

“She said I needed to do it, to keep you safe, and so that she could handle your affairs. I panicked. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Tina, darling, I’m so glad you are awake. I asked them to give me a call the moment you were conscious”

“No games mother, just tell me what I need to do to get my life back.”

“I’ve lost one daughter; I’m not losing you too…”

Chapter 4

Girl 102 - Getting more boys wearing dresses - that was the next stage.

Girl 101 - well that was where it started ..... and now the program was expanding so that more boys and girls could join in. And my life was getting complicated - and interesting - and frilly and generally rather different than I had ever expected. And most of the time, I liked it.

“Happy birthday dear Rachel…” The assembled crowd sang as the birthday girl cringed behind her voluminous blonde hair, “happy birthday to you… To you… To you… To you to you to you… To you… To you… To you to you to you!” Rachel giggled at the crowd’s use of the tune of Cyndi Lauper’s hit ‘Girl Just Wanna Have Fun’ to extend her embarrassment further, before brushing her hair out of her face and blowing out the 29 candles that had been placed on her cake- which was, of course, shaped exactly like the hat she and all her friends wore as part of their uniform.

My friends used to joke... (albeit wrongly, I would add.)

What's separates a crossdresser from a transsexual? About two years and therapy.

Magic isn't very smart, and when spells mix, the end result turns a semi-normal boy's life into anything but regular.

“Is there any point in having a birthday party if the actual birthday girl herself isn’t going to be here?” Becca moans as she paces back and forth, nearly deafening everyone with the rustling of her petticoats underneath her knee-length pink dress.

“Oh, just give her time,” Adeola says. “She’ll get here eventually. It’s not her fault her family lives an hour and a half away and she’s their only child.”

“I, Nicola Christine Thomas,” I whisper as tears start to trickle from my eyes. “Take you, Sarah Jennifer Phillips…”

“Beep,” the minister says, derailing my train of thought. “Beep, beep, beep, beep….” I let out a long sigh as the pristine white veil of my wedding dress is replaced by the dark brown veil of my hair, which had flopped down in front of my face whilst I was sleeping.

“Morning,” I whisper to the beautiful girl whose face is the first thing I see every morning when I wake up- and whose own brown hair is, of course, tied back and away from her face.

As I left the shop, Scarlet murmured ‘goodbye’ or maybe it was ‘good buy’. As I walked away I thought ‘what a wonderful, almost magical afternoon.’ I thought about what she had said and promised that I would make some changes in my life.

I wasn’t going to be a downtrodden, feeble excuse for a man any longer. That was for sure.

"Oh shit," Krystie gasped as she gently lowered Mary onto the floor. "Someone get me some hot water! Joshua, do you have any towels?"

"There are some in the dressing rooms, I'll get them now," Joshua said, hurrying out of the studio.

"I am NOT giving birth on this damned floor," Mary said between gasped breaths. "And I am most definitely NOT giving birth without painkillers!"

"Jamie, call 999," Krystie ordered. "Charlotte, call Dan, get him here now."

"Will do," Charlotte said, dialling the number for Mary's husband's workplace.

Jamie-Lee Burke yawned as the alarm on her phone woke her from a dreamless slumber. It had been a long week, but it was now Friday- a chance to relax and let her hair down, which she had every intention of doing that night, surrounded by all her friends.

"Morning, sexy," Jamie whispered in the ear of her still-sleeping fiancé, who mumbled incoherently as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Does it have to be morning?" Stuart moaned, eliciting a small giggle from Jamie.