~* Heart's Desire *~ “Oh, Nicole,” the secretary called, grabbing a pair of flower bouquets, including the roses and balloon I had arranged for her. Nicole smiled warmly as she accepted them. “Aww, Robin you didn’t have to do this.” Now it was her turn to cry as she wrapped me in a hug. I kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear. “I wanted to.” “This is the first time anybody’s ever given me flowers for V-day. Even my parents wouldn’t have before because I threatened to have a rose petal bonfire if they’d tried,” she giggled.

---

“Nikki what’s this about?” I asked as I poked at my blindfold.

“No peeking!” she insisted. We had been driving for the better part of thirty minutes, and for the lack of turns within the last ten or so I could only guess that we had at least left the Alpine Springs city limits behind. “You guys have a game tomorrow night, but I still promised you a surprise, so you’re getting it early.”

“Oh fine,” I pouted dramatically, but once Nicole started giggling I just couldn’t hold it any longer, and started to laugh too.

“You’re cute when you’re pretending to be offended. Anyway, we’re here, but don’t take off the blindfold yet.”

I felt her kiss my cheek, and on hearing her unbuckle her seatbelt, I did the same, fumbling blindly for the door. I managed to avoid bumping my head as I stepped out onto what felt and sounded like packed gravel. Nicole squeezed my hand, gently leading me forward.

“Okay, NOW you can look,” she spoke with more than a hint of excitement in her tone as she untied the blindfold. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the sunny morning light, but the almost iconic, rustic horse stable that stood before us couldn’t be missed.

Counselor Dunham, the riding instructor back at Girl Scout camp, stepped out dressed in a heavy suede jacket, white Stetson hat, blue jeans, and riding boots. She waved as she approached. I couldn’t resist catching her in a hug.

“Counselor Dunham!” I practically squealed. Her eyes lit up as she smiled.

“I wasn’t sure you’d even remember me,” she offered. “Though I imagine old Lulubelle had a hoof in that?”

Nicole and I giggled. “Yeah, I still haven’t forgotten my ride through the brush. My balance has gotten a lot better since camp though.”

“Good thing,” she answered with a wink. “Let’s get you suited up. Your helmet size probably hasn’t changed too much, but I erred on the side of caution and went slightly larger just in case.”

“Wait a minute, you mean…” I turned to Nicole as the pieces fell into place.

“I never did get to go riding with you at camp like I promised, and like I said, you’ve got a basketball game tomorrow night, so I wanted to give you your Valentine’s present a day early.”

I wrapped her in a tight hug and kissed her, completely forgetting for the moment that Counselor Dunham was watching.

“Thank you so much,” I spoke softly as she held me close.

“You’re welcome. Just because a lot of good things are happening, it doesn’t mean they aren’t stressing you out. You needed a day to just unwind.”

Counselor Dunham cleared her throat lightly. I could feel my cheeks burn as we both turned back to her. She just smiled.

“I always thought there was something going on between you two. Just don’t do that at camp, okay? GSC isn’t against alternative lifestyles, but we have to promote a comfortable environment for every girl.”

She paused a moment, then picked up again in a stage whisper. “That’s the official counselor lecture I’m obligated to give. Off the record, I have a distant cousin that ‘experimented’ when he was younger, so,” she trailed off for a moment then changed the subject entirely.

“Since Nicole is an expert rider, and you're both first-aid certified and CITs, I’m going to trust you two to ride out together without my supervision. Nicole already has my cell phone number in case something should happen.”

“Thanks Counselor Dunham,” we chimed in unison. She smiled warmly as she glanced over her shoulder back at us.

“Please, call me Cynthia. Nicole, could you grab two sets of knee pads from that shelf back there while I get your riding helmets?”

Nicole wrinkled her nose. “I’m gonna have helmet hair,” she whined, but added a moment later, “But I guess that’s better than a concussion huh?”

“Even I sometimes get thrown. Accidents happen to the best of us.”

~oOo~

Riding with Nicole was like something out of a romance novel. Cynthia let us ride a pair of her older horses, one jet black and the other a kind of stormy gray. Nicole had brought a light brunch of sandwiches with her, which we shared by a small stream along the riding trail while we let the horses rest and drink. We had another girl scout meeting that afternoon, and my first cheer practice that evening, so after the horses had their fill, we started back.

After Nicole dropped me off at home following the girl scout meeting, I immediately headed inside. Margie had apparently just gotten in herself because her purse, along with a couple of bags from her clothing store, Touch of Style, sat on the sofa in the living room.

“Margie?” I called, poking my head around the kitchen doorway.

“Yes?” she replied, glancing up from the fridge. She had a guilty look on her face.

“What did you do?” I teased. She giggled.

“Nothing?” She pulled out two cans of red cream soda, bumping the door closed with her backside as she approached to offer me one. “I’ve got a new top I want you to try on when you have time. If you like it you can keep it.”

“Oh, sure. I’d love to,” I replied as I popped the tab on my soda. “Hey, can you give me a ride back to town first though?”

“Absolutely. Where to?”

“The florist’s; I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to order flowers for Nikki. Oh, Margie, I have the most wonderful girlfriend in the world. She took me horseback riding, and we had a picnic by a little stream while the horses rested.”

Margie giggled again as she wrapped me in a hug. “That sounds so romantic. The florists aren’t usually open on Sunday, but with Valentine’s falling on a Monday this year they’re making an exception.”

“And you know this how?” I chided.

“Hey, I’ve got a lot of roses to send. I’ve got a girlfriend too, you know, plus Linda and Mom, and,” she paused, as if she were about to say something she didn’t mean to say, “And I think that’s everyone,” she corrected herself. “We need to start teaching you to drive, y’know,” she added.

I had been about to take another drink of soda, but slowly lowered it. “I never even thought about that. Back in California we only had Mom’s car, and there was no way I was going to dip into my college fund for one since I never went anywhere, anyway, but now,”

“Now you have a social life,” she answered. “We’ll get you a learner’s permit, and I’ll start taking you out to teach you the way my mom taught me — big, empty parking lots.”

“Awesome,” I said cheerily as I disappeared around the corner, heading upstairs to get my purse. Margie appeared in the doorway a moment later with one of her shopping bags in-hand. I turned in time to see her retrieve a dark red tunic top with long, flared sleeves. A line of lace wrapped it front to back, just beneath the bust. She smiled as she laid it out on my bed.

“Oh wow. This is what you wanted me to try on?” I asked. She nodded.

“It’s a prototype design I’ve been working on, but if it catches on it could be the first in a whole line of teen fashion, assuming I can find a buyer.”

“Margie, it’s gorgeous!”

“Mom was kind enough to give me your new measurements,” she trailed off.

“You brat,” I laughed. “You just want me to be your fashion doll don’t you?”

Margie giggled. “Fashion model is the word you want, actually,” she replied. “Besides, it’s not like you haven’t already done modeling work for me before. Oh that reminds me, did I give you your royalty payment for the new posters yet?”

“Royalty? Margie we just did that for fun. You know that.”

“Well, yes, but, well,” she fumbled. I’d never seen her so nervous.

“Margie? What is it?”

“There’s something potentially very big happening with the Shadowcraft series. I haven’t decided what I’ll do yet, but I need to ensure that you girls have documented credit as the models for the characters. It could mean a lot of money, but it’s a big risk too,” she exhaled, shaking her head.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“My contract with the current publisher is due to expire in a few months. We signed a tentative one year contract, where they set provisions to allow them to cut all ties whenever they saw fit, but the thing is, that works both ways. Because they were afraid to take a chance on an unknown artist, I own all rights, and if I don’t resign with them, there’s nothing legally they can do about it.”

“So they painted themselves into a corner?” I tried not to giggle. She nodded.

“Basically. I have a big name publisher interested in the overarching universe, but I haven’t decided if I want to sign yet. I like having creative control, and I don’t want some marketing jerk who’s never even read a comic book ruining it with-” she paused. “Sorry,” she offered sheepishly.

“It’s okay,” I replied, giving her a reassuring hug. “I just wish I could help.”

“You already did. I’ve been sitting on this news for a month. I just needed to get it off my chest, you know?” She smiled warmly as she kissed my forehead. “You wanted to go to the florist’s right?”

“Yeah. I’ve got my first cheer practice in an hour, but I need to put in an order for Nikki. How much royalty are we talking about, anyway?” I asked. She grinned.

“It’s not a lot, but it’s more than enough to cover a few dozen roses,” she teased. I giggled.

“Just one dozen, and a balloon. So, can I drive?”

She laughed. “Maybe next week.”

~oOo~

Monday, my first Valentine’s Day not only as Robin, but in a committed relationship was a unique experience. The top Margie gave me fit so well that I decided to wear it to school that day, resulting in quite a few girls asking me where I’d gotten it.

I hadn’t even made it through my second class before I found a note waiting for me to come down to the office for a delivery. Mom and Ash sent me six roses in a bouquet with a sweet little card.

The second delivery came just before AP English with Mrs. Ellis. Quite a few unclaimed bouquets, bears, and balloons sat in neat rows on the front counters and tables as a flustered secretary tried to keep track of them all. She smiled as she flagged me over.

“Robin, thank heavens. You’re quite a popular girl, you know that?”

“Excuse me?” I asked. She grinned as she plucked from the counter a dozen red roses tied with a big red and silver balloon. She then took yet another bouquet of six roses, a white stuffed bear holding a red ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ heart, and a purple lion. The lion though, had a ribbon tied around his neck, securing a small black box. She set everything down in front of me.

“Wow. You’re sure this is all for me?” I asked. She nodded.

“I checked the names myself. If I might suggest, check that little box with the stuffed lion? The delivery guy was pretty adamant about making sure I kept it separate.”

“Ooh. I wonder who it’s from?” I asked, as I carefully untied the ribbon. The secretary leaned over the counter just a bit as I opened the box.

“Oh my Goodness,” she whispered. Inside lay a sterling silver celtic knotwork ring with a small, cut emerald set in its center. I could feel tears welling up as I slid it into place.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Nicole whispered in my ear. I spun around and immediately threw my arms around her.

“Nikki you shouldn’t have,” I whispered. I couldn’t fight the tears any longer. She stroked my hair as she squeezed me close.

“I’ve been holding onto that ring for months. Remember that first trip to the mall with Trina back in October? We met that nice old lady that runs the silver jewelry stall? Well I went back later and bought the ring you were looking at. I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but I couldn’t resist this instead.”

“Nikki, I love it!” I exclaimed. It took all I had in me not to kiss her right there in front of the entire office, including secretaries, teachers, a delivery guy, and about a dozen other girls picking up their flowers.

“Oh, Nicole,” the secretary called, grabbing a pair of flower bouquets, including the roses and balloon I had arranged for her. Nicole smiled warmly as she accepted them.

“Aww, Robin you didn’t have to do this.” Now it was her turn to cry as she wrapped me in a hug. I kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear.

“I wanted to.”

“This is the first time anybody’s ever given me flowers for V-day. Even my parents wouldn’t have before because I threatened to have a rose petal bonfire if they’d tried,” she giggled.

We got quite a few stares as we walked down the hallway to our next class, but Mrs. Ellis’ surprised expression by far topped them all.

“My goodness girls,” she stifled a giggle. Nicole beamed.

“Most of these are Robin’s, too.”

“Is it alright if we put these in the Journalism department for safekeeping?” I asked. Before she could answer, Kathy Mason poked her head around the corner, snapping a photo of us together. She giggled, bounding back into the journalism department again.

“Certainly. That’s what the others on staff have been doing.”

By now Kathy had already disappeared into the dark room, though whether to work or to hide from us, I couldn’t say. After we set everything down, we stepped back into the classroom.

“Whoa,” Katelyn whispered under her breath when I sat down. “Um, setting aside that we’re not supposed to be speaking, where did you get that gorgeous ring?”

I tried to give her a friendly smile. I’d had an eventful weekend to forget about what happened last week, and really didn’t want to get into another argument with her if there was even a chance at patching things up.

“Nikki gave it to me for Valentine’s Day. There’s a little stall in the mall on the,” I paused, glancing at Nicole, “East side?”

Nicole nodded. “It’s two shops up from the music store. The old lady there’s really nice.”

“Cool,” Katelyn responded dryly as she turned away. I started to say something. I wanted to say something, to apologize, but what could I say? She was the one who wouldn’t listen, so I left it alone for now.

After class, before I could talk to her Katelyn rushed out of the room. I sighed as I shook my head, turning to my friends. “You guys go ahead. I need to talk to Mrs. Ellis for a second.

“Sure. We’ll wait outside,” Jennifer replied.

I didn’t know how to say it, so I just blurted it out. “Mrs. Ellis? I need to quit the school paper.”

She looked up from her desk then stood. “Is everything alright?”

“I just can’t keep up with it. Basketball season’s over after tonight, but there’s still school work, the paper, and now cheer. Something’s got to give. We’re going to be in a national competition in May, and unless I devote more time to cheer, I’m going to be more of a liability than an asset, but if I don’t give up something else in exchange my grades will suffer. My mom just got married so I had all that going on too, and I wanted to run track, but that’s right out,” I rambled.

I felt like I was on the verge of tears again. My knees felt weak, so I backed up and rested against the nearest desk. Mrs. Ellis stepped closer to give me a comforting hug.

“You’re really under a lot of pressure aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am,” I exhaled. “Yesterday Nicole took me on the most amazing date I’ve ever had. We went horseback riding, and had a picnic then we went to our monthly girl scout meeting. After that, I had my first cheer practice.”

“You know you don’t have to do all this extra-curricular activity right?” she advised gently. I nodded.

“I know. It’s just, at my old school, I was an outcast. Nobody wanted anything to do with me because I didn’t want anything to do with them. I hated myself, and I think people sensed that.”

“Did transitioning really have that drastic a change?”

“Everything changed when I moved here, but not just because I transitioned. I transitioned because I met friends who liked me for who I am, and I learned to love myself. The only real problem is it sets me up as an easy target.”

Mrs. Ellis frowned. “Robin, did someone say something to you?” It was Mrs. Ellis who found me immediately after that nasty note at Homecoming. I quickly shook my head.

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just,” I hesitated, glancing toward the door with a long sigh before turning back to her. “I wanted to be a normal teenage girl, and I got it. The good and the bad. One of my teammates thinks Chelsea’s playing favorites because I was asked to try out for cheer, and it all just got way out of hand. She thinks I’m perfect and that I get everything handed to me.”

“Take it from me, nobody’s perfect,” she offered. “Even teachers can make mistakes.”

“Oh, I know. My problem is I’m a perfectionist and an over-achiever. I put my whole heart into everything I do, but I’m trying to do too much while still balancing a social life. I don’t know what to do about this. I respect her as a teammate and a person, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing,” she offered gently. “Let her cool off, and then try and talk to her in a few days, but if she causes too much trouble just let me know, and I’ll find someone to mediate.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Ellis. I really don’t want her mad at me. She’s our best defensive, but she’s also normally a nice person. I don’t know what caused her to flip out on me. She’s never acted like this before.”

“Unfortunately, that’s just a part of being a popular girl in high school. Alliances shift more than on those awful reality TV shows,” she teased. I had to laugh.

“That’s why I’m so glad to have Nikki and the others. I don’t care about being popular. I have their friendship, and that’s all I really need, but I’m also not going to stop being nice to others either, especially the ones that need it most, like Brittany or Katelyn,” I bit my tongue. “Crap!”

“Katelyn’s the one? I never thought she could have it in her. There must be more going on here. Are you sure you haven’t heard anything else?”

“Well,” I thought about it for a moment, “Chelsea did mention Katelyn thought she stole her boyfriend. Do you think she’s just projecting that onto me?”

Mrs. Ellis gave me a funny look. “That’s a very mature conclusion to reach, but yes, that’s exactly what I’m thinking.”

I smiled sheepishly. “I had a great therapist.”

“Had?” she frowned.

“Well, have, but I had to cancel two appointments because of the wedding planning. I’ll be seeing her in a couple of weeks though. I guess I should be telling her all this. Sorry to just dump on you.”

She smiled, giving me a friendly hug. “There’s no need to apologize. I’m glad you trust me like this because, to be honest, you’re one of my favorite students. I’m glad to help you in any way I can. Don’t worry about quitting the school paper. You’ll have a spot waiting for you if you ever want it back.” She paused, giving a sly wink, “And not because you don’t deserve it. You give great advice.”

“Thanks Mrs. Ellis,” I replied warmly. “You do too. I feel a lot better about everything now. I should get to lunch though.”

“Yes you should. You’ll need your energy if you’re going to beat the Sharks tonight,” she joked.

Nicole had apparently been listening at the door. She jumped back when I pulled it open, and smiled apologetically.

“Sorry. You were in there an awfully long time. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just quit the school paper, but Mrs. Ellis says I can have my column back once things calm down again, if I want it.”

“Can I buy you lunch?”

“You’re so sweet,” I giggled, squeezing her hand. “I’m going to try and talk to Katelyn soon.”

Nicole frowned, but nodded. “It’s your call. Personally I’d just leave her alone, but if she tries anything, I’ll be glad to hold her down while you,” she paused as I glanced at her. “… Tickle her mercilessly?” she corrected herself.

“Uh huh. Really, it’s okay. I think she’s just projecting her anger at Chelsea onto me because she thinks Chelsea stole her boyfriend. I need to find out the whole story from her though.”

“When are you going to approach her?” she asked as we stepped into the cafeteria.

“Probably tonight, in the locker room before the game; we’ll have some privacy there, and Coach Wilson will be close by if we need a mediator.”

~oOo~

That night, after I had changed into my basketball uniform, I waited for Coach Wilson to enter the locker rooms, following behind her. The other girls were already dressed, and we still had some time before we gathered to discuss any last minute changes to the game plans.

I spotted Katelyn talking quietly with Maria on one of the benches, and approached them. Maria glanced up, quickly making herself scarce.

“Come to rub it in?” Katelyn sneered.

“Actually I came to apologize,” I offered softly. “But if you don’t want to talk that’s fine.” I turned to walk away, but she called after me, almost hesitantly.

“Wait.” I turned back to her, and she stood, stepping closer. “Maria told me I hurt you pretty badly the other day.”

“Yeah, you did,” I answered honestly. “But I’m partly to blame; Chelsea too.”

“How do you figure that?”

“I didn’t have the whole story. Chelsea was so excited about the news about the national competition that she didn’t fill me in on what, exactly, they needed me for, so when you asked me what was going on, all I could tell you was that they needed another girl, and that somehow, I was involved.”

“Somehow?” she echoed. “They picked you to replace a senior. That’s pretty big.”

“No, they picked me out of the girls who tried out. I would’ve been involved if I hadn’t tried out because I study martial arts. They wanted me to advise for a routine, whether or not I actually joined the squad. Apparently Amy moving was just a coincidence.”

Katelyn stared at me for several seconds, as though she couldn’t decide whether or not what I said was true. Chelsea cautiously approached us.

“She’s not lying. I’m sorry you got the wrong idea, but Robin’s innocent. If you need to hate someone, hate me, but leave her out of this.”

Katelyn turned to glare at Chelsea. “Says you, but how do I know you’re not just lying for her now?”

“What is your problem?” Chelsea snapped back. “I’ve tried to be nice to you, and I’ve tried to tolerate your attitude, but I’ve just about had it with-”

“Alright girls, that’s enough,” Coach Wilson demanded. “What’s the problem?”

Chelsea threw her hands up in defeat, and Katelyn just continued shooting me daggers, so I finally exhaled.

“Katelyn, can I please hear your side of the story about your boyfriend?”

Chelsea slowly turned around at that. Katelyn frowned, but nodded. “It’s pretty simple. Couple of weeks ago he dumped me, and the VERY next day I saw him with Chelsea at the movies.”

Chelsea blinked a few times. “Wait, are you talking about Scott? I didn’t even know you were dating.”

“How could you not?” she demanded. “We’d been going steady for three months!”

“I’ve been too busy to keep up with who’s dating who. I know you think everyone who’s achieved more than you is perfect, but I’ve got a newsflash for you. It’s called hard work.”

“Whatever,” she shot back as she turned to storm past me. She stopped to stare at me for just a moment, mumbling. “Sorry I yelled at you the other day.”

She turned to continue out of the locker room as Coach Wilson approached Chelsea and me. “Is this going to be a problem, girls?” she asked seriously.

Chelsea quickly shook her head. “No ma’am. We’ve played as a team for this long. I’m not going to let some stupid fight get in the way now.”

“Good. It’s not fair to the team if cohesion is broken up, and I can’t take sides. You girls need to settle your disagreement and put it behind you. Chelsea, as the team’s co-captain I expect you to set an example for the others.”

“Yes ma’am,” Chelsea mumbled. I hated seeing her being chastised like that, but Coach Wilson had a point. Chelsea did kind of jump on Katelyn, even if she did deserve it. For the moment, I tried to put it out of my mind as I stepped out of the locker room.

Maria caught up to me, pulling me aside. “Hey, is everything okay with you and Katelyn now?”

“I’m not really sure,” I offered. “She apologized for yelling at me, but that’s as far as we’ve gotten after Chels lost it.”

Maria sighed as she nodded. “I figured as much. I’ve been trying to stay out of it, but I was talking to her about you when you came over, telling her about everything you’ve been through since I’ve known you, and what you did for Jason’s ma- mother,” she corrected herself. “She’s trying. She really is. Promise me you’ll meet her halfway if she comes to talk to you okay?”

I smiled as I hugged Maria. “If she wants to talk to me, I’ll welcome her with open arms. I don’t have time for drama right now, but I’ll never, ever turn someone away if they seriously want to try and work things out.”

“Thanks, chica. I knew I could count on you,” she replied happily.

“Ladies and gentlemen, starting for the Lady Tigers,” the announcer began.

Maria grinned. “That’s our cue.”