~* High Spirits *~ “Katelyn, what’s wrong? Whatever it is you can tell me.” “I-” she stammered, shaking her head slowly. “It was an accident. It was a stupid fluke, and it shouldn’t have ever happened, but it did, and now I don’t know what to think.” “What happened, exactly?” I asked, growing more concerned now. She sighed softly, shutting her eyes.

---

Over the next week, I stayed in touch with Sarah through my ‘Spirit Speaks’ e-mail. The irony of giving up my advice column only to use that address to help someone who genuinely needed all the help she could get hadn’t been lost on me, but I wanted to help her, even if only a little. I felt guilty.

I was living the dream, while she was living my worst nightmare. When Kelly reminded me that she changed schools before transitioning, living “the dream” as well, it did make me feel better, but we both knew Sarah wouldn’t have that option. She had a long, difficult road ahead of her.

“Hey Robin,” Victoria offered cheerfully as she approached me at my locker. I had English next, which wasn’t far, so I picked up my textbook and writing folder, turning back to wave with my free hand before pushing my locker closed.

“Hi Victoria; what’s up?”

“Not much. Um, actually, I have a favor to ask you and Nikki. If you want I’ll wait until I can talk to you both. It’s kind of a big thing.”

“Okay,” I offered hesitantly, causing her to laugh as she shook her head.

“No no, it’s nothing bad. It’s just a real long shot deal.”

“What is?” Nicole asked as she approached with Jennifer and Allison. “Sorry I’m late, cutie,” she teased as she wrapped an arm around my waist. “Jen and Ally were helping me scour the school library for a lost book I know for a fact I turned in last month.”

Victoria’s smile brightened. “Speak of the devil. Okay, here’s the thing. I’m kind of the head of the prom planning committee. We were supposed to get Ancients to play our prom, you know, that Nu Metal group? The band just broke up over drama, and their manager’s having a nervous breakdown, so even if they did reform in time, there’s no way they could play at the prom.” She paused to catch her breath, and Nicole grinned.

“And you want us to ask Heedless Despair, right?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I weren’t completely desperate. Last year we had a DJ who couldn’t understand the concept of slow music. I just want my last prom to be special, you know?”

“I can’t promise anything,” Nicole responded, but with a sympathetic smile, “But I’ll give them a call. They’re just wrapping up their US tour this Friday in Seattle. When’s the prom anyway?”

“May 16th. Graduation ceremony’s the 20th.”

“And Nationals are the 14th,” I concluded. “The school’s cutting it close this year aren’t they?”

Victoria giggled. “Well, yeah, it was just bad timing really. Nobody knew we’d be going to Nationals in D.C. this year, or that I’d end up heading the planning committee. So anyway, since you’re willing to try, even if things don’t pan out, I have a gift for you guys.”

“Ooh, what is it?” Nicole teased. Victoria shook her head, laughing.

“Come talk to me in a couple of weeks. I’ll have prom tickets for all of you and your dates, unless you’re dating a Junior or Senior in which case you can get in with them.” I think our jaws collectively hit the floor at that. Victoria smiled. “It’s my way of saying ‘thanks’. I told you, I’m really desperate here. Besides, nobody’s going to mind a few Sophomores there, especially if they’re the reason Heedless Despair comes. No pressure,” she added with a purely chiding tone before turning to race off to her next class.

“Um, wow,” Jennifer mused. Allison giggled as we started for English together.

“Yeah, really. Josh already asked me, but I was gonna say no because I thought you guys wouldn’t be able to go.”

“I just hope the school’s okay with ‘us’,” I added, glancing at Nicole. She smiled as she squeezed my hand.

“Are you kidding? They’re so scared of the ACLU they wouldn’t dare try and stop us. … Besides, we’re not the only gay couple in school. There’s even a club.”

“There is?”

She smiled as she nodded. “I’ve been talking to some of the members about what it is they do, exactly. Basically it’s the same as any other club, meet to hang out with like-minded people. I also asked if it would screw with your schedule. They meet once a week during lunch, so it’s no big.”

“Sounds like fun. Want to check out the next meeting together?”

“Sure. I was worried about bringing it up because I didn’t want to sound like I was pressuring you or anything. I just thought it’d be fun to check out, since they all seem like nice people. You’d be surprised who else is there though,” she added with a teasing smile. “But I promised I wouldn’t say. You’ll have to see for yourself.”

“Tease,” I shot back, stealing a quick kiss just before we entered the classroom.

~oOo~

Tuesday evening after gymnastics, just as I turned to step into the coaches’ office, I felt someone squeeze my hand lightly. It startled me, but at the same time it was a familiar sensation. I glanced back over my shoulder to see Katelyn smiling back at me.

“Hey, can I talk to you for just a second?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

She pushed past me, waiting for me to close the door. “There’s… There’s something I need to talk to you about. I know I have no right to ask this of you after everything I put you through-” she started, but I shook my head.

“Katelyn, the past is the past. What happened between you, Chelsea and me isn’t important to me. I let it go, and you should too.”

She sighed, surprising me as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around me, burying her sweat-glistened face in my shoulder. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that right now. I need to be able to trust someone, and even with everything that’s happened, you’re the only person I know for a fact will understand.”

“Katelyn, what’s wrong? Whatever it is you can tell me.”

“I-” she stammered, shaking her head slowly. “It was an accident. It was a stupid fluke, and it shouldn’t have ever happened, but it did, and now I don’t know what to think.”

“What happened, exactly?” I asked, growing more concerned now. She sighed softly, shutting her eyes.

“I accidentally kissed Maria.” At that point she completely broke down. I carefully ushered her to the small sofa in the coaches’ office, sitting with her as she cried on my shoulder, literally, and waited for her to continue.

“We were just hanging out, y’know, talking about stuff. I told her I’d always be her friend, no matter what happened. She leaned over to kiss my cheek, y’know, sisterly thing, and I just turned my head at the wrong time. We laughed about it, and that was the end of it, but…”

I could see where this was going. “You liked it?”

“Oh my God, yes!” she exclaimed between sobs. “Maria’s my best friend. She’s like a sister to me, AND she’s dating Jason, plus she’s … you know, not into girls. I don’t think I am either. At least, I didn’t think I was. Now I don’t know anymore. All I know was it was nice, and that scares me to death, and I didn’t know who else to talk to, but if I didn’t talk to someone I was going to lose it.”

“Well,” I started, as I ran a hand over her back to try and reassure her, “I didn’t know where I stood either, until I met Nicole. Even before our first kiss, I knew I wanted to get to know her better at least. A kiss is a kiss. Some are nice, some aren’t. Enjoying a quick kiss with someone doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something more between you. I can tell you this much, the idea of kissing a guy literally makes my stomach turn. It’s the stuff of nightmares for me.”

She slowly looked up at me. “Really?”

“Yeah. I literally had a nightmare about it once, where Nikki dumped me right afterwards, and my whole world just fell apart. It was awful. And I think it was my mind’s way of telling me I don’t have to kiss a guy to find out I’m not into guys, y’know?”

“But I do like guys. I just … I think I might be interested in girls too,” she sighed. “I’ve been to a couple of meetings of the GLBTSA, but I never really participated.”

“The GLBTSA?”

“Gay-lesbian-bi-trans Student Alliance. You know, the club for…”

“Oh, the one Nikki was telling me about. Sorry, she kind of forgot to tell me the name.”

Katelyn laughed to herself. “It’s okay. They seem friendly enough, but it’s just hard for me to think I might be - well, that I might not be … ‘normal’. Um, no offense.”

“Katelyn, there’s nothing abnormal about being GLBT. You wouldn’t call me abnormal, right?”

“Now, or six months ago?” She smiled. “Sorry. The only thing abnormal about you is your uncanny ability to forgive people who don’t really deserve it.”

“And that has absolutely nothing to do with me dating a girl.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“At the last big cheer competition, Nikki and I kissed, once, because we were just lost in the moment, in the rush of finishing the routine still, but everyone saw it. So rather than going off somewhere and hiding, since I’d already outed myself in front of like, every school in Connecticut, I grabbed her hand and dragged her along with me to mingle and hang out with our fellow cheerleaders.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, at first everyone acted like they were afraid of us until Rachel and her squad came over to congratulate us. Once the others saw that we were just regular girls who happened to be dating, a few more came over to talk to us. There were a few snide remarks made, but they were shut down pretty fast by their own squads.”

Katelyn laughed. “Sorry. That’s just awesome. I’m glad I wasn’t there now though. I mean, y’know how I am about my temper.”

“We had a few girls ask us questions, you know, the usual ‘What’s it like’ kind of thing. I also took home the Most Spirited and Most Encouraging awards because of how I reacted to it all, apparently. See, dating a girl doesn’t define me. It’s not who I am. It’s just a small part of something bigger. I also like music, but that doesn’t make me the Scarlet Witch’s daughter.”

Katelyn smiled at that as she leaned closer to hug me then stood. “Thanks Robin. I guess I’ll see you at tomorrow’s meeting?”

I stood to hug her back, walking her to the door. “Yeah, Nicole and I will both be there. Oh, one more thing… In case you were wondering, this isn’t why I don’t shower with you guys.”

Katelyn smiled faintly as she nodded. “I was kind of wondering, yeah. But like I’ve said before, it’s not like I’d feel weird changing around you. I don’t think any of us do.”

“And no one else will feel weird about changing around you if you meet the right girl, either. It’s not what defines us.”

Katelyn shivered, but only slightly. “Us. Wow, that’s going to take some getting used to. But I guess that’s what the club is for. See you at school tomorrow,” she offered, pausing to smile back at me as she opened the door to step out.

Coach Greer, waiting on the other side, gave us both an acknowledging nod. “Hi girls. Everything alright?”

Katelyn quickly nodded. “Great. Fantastic even,” she answered, still smiling as she headed for the locker room. Coach Greer gave me a skeptical glance. I giggled.

“Katelyn just really needed a friend she could trust. And I really need a shower, but I’ll tell you about it after I’m done.”

~oOo~

Planning for our second Earth Week activity had mostly been handled at the last Girl Scout meeting, and like last Saturday we’d need to wear old clothes that we didn’t have to worry about being ruined. Still, this promised to be a lot more work than the last event. Planting trees is one thing, but cleaning up what amounted to an unsanctioned community junk yard was quite another.

Knowing we’d be getting new CIT t-shirts this year anyway, I decided to take a chance and wear my old one again. I pulled on my hiking boots, and as I stepped down the stairs, I poked my head in the kitchen to look for Margie.

She smiled from the kitchen table as she raised her coffee mug. Another, slightly younger woman with honey blonde hair, dressed in a beige business suit and skirt sat across from her with her back to me. She turned in her chair to smile at me, both women standing as I approached.

“Robin, this is Naomi Stewart, the CEO of Amber Sun Publishing. Naomi this is my baby sister Robin, the model for the Aria Blade character.”

“My goodness. You’re even more beautiful than your modeling photos.”

I couldn’t fight the blush as we shook hands. “Oh, thanks. I’m not even wearing any makeup or anything. I’m volunteering with our local Girl Scout troop today to clear out a spot for a community garden project.”

“Margie’s told me quite a bit about you and your friends. She insisted that I meet you personally before any contracts are signed. Tell me, do you have any prior modeling experience?”

I shook my head. “I’ve done a few photo shoots for Aria Blade and again for Margie’s new clothing line, but that’s about it.”

“Well, whatever you’re doing, don’t change a thing. I like the raw, natural style in your posters. I’d like to even hire the same photographer again. As I was just telling Margie, we’d like to preserve as much as possible of her own style. We want to recreate in nationwide syndication the same feeling that made Shadowcraft the cult hit that it is.”

“Nationwide?” I asked, surprised. She smiled cheerfully as she nodded.

“At the last convention in Boston, Margie generously allowed us samples of Shadowcraft comics to give away at our booth which proved to be extremely popular. While it temporarily drove up sales to the competition,” she paused to chuckle, “It also generated quite a lot of buzz about future installments.”

“I’ve got a lot of ideas. I’d like to get your friends from Heedless Despair involved in the next major arc if they have time, but that’s getting ahead of myself. For now, I just wanted you and Naomi to meet properly. I wanted her to understand why it’s so important for me to retain full creative control. We won’t keep you.”

“Oh, well it’s nice to meet you. My schedule’s pretty hectic, but I’ll do whatever I can to help out. I do need to get my Aria Blade costume altered before any new photo shoots though,” I added, glancing at Margie. She smiled as she nodded.

“I’m playing with ideas for another armor redesign anyway. Nothing’s set in stone, but if we do go that route I’ll warn you before we do anything.”

“Awesome. Anyway, my cell’s on if you need me.”

“You’re at your parents’ this weekend for Easter Sunday right?”

“Yeah. It’s going to be great. We’re going to have a big family dinner afterwards. You’re coming too aren’t you?”

She smiled brightly at that and nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

As I turned to step out, I overheard Naomi remark, “She’s such a sweet girl.”

I giggled to myself as I headed over to the Jones’ to collect Allison.

~oOo~

We spent the better part of the morning loading brush, old tires, and other large objects onto our volunteer helpers’ trucks. We even found an old car someone had dumped. Unfortunately it had been so badly rusted out that nothing was salvageable, so we called a tow truck to haul it away.

Once we had a clear plot to work with, we divided up tasks between hand-tilling the land, planting, and laying fertilizer, which sounded like a more work than it really was, considering how many people we had between scouts, Josh, and adult supervision, and by noon we thought we were finished for the day, until Josh pulled up, not in his regular vehicle, but driving a large flat-bed truck loaded down with small trees.

Allison raced over to meet him. They shared a quick kiss before she glanced back at the payload, asking, “So what’s all this?”

“Well I knew you wouldn’t be using the entire plot, so I talked to my uncle at the hardware store. These are all ready to plant apple trees. He says these will be ready to harvest in a couple of years, but it’s something that as long as you take care of them, will be here for years.”

Alice smiled approvingly as she approached us. “That’s probably the most valuable lesson anyone can take away from this. We’re not doing this just for ourselves or for the community, but for our future generations too. Years from now Girl Scouts will be able to come here and learn about conservation while enjoying a fresh apple,” she teased, adding, “Let’s get these unloaded. We’ll have a miniature orchard in no time!”

~oOo~

I was so sore when I woke Sunday morning, that I could barely move. All that hard work had really paid off though, and now we not only had a community garden, but also a small orchard planted. I rolled over onto my side just as Mom poked her head around the corner.

“Morning honey,” she cooed as she approached, sitting on the edge of my bed. She reached out to run her fingers through my hair as I grunted back, causing her to chuckle. “You overdid it again didn’t you?”

I nodded into my pillow. “Mmhmm. It was worth it though.”

“I have a surprise for you, but you’ll have to get up to see it.”

“Okay,” I mumbled, pushing myself over onto my back with a light groan before sitting up. Mom pointed to my computer desk, where a broad, white Easter hat sat propped on a small basket.

“Margie helped me pick it out. Except for the ribbon’s color I have one just like it. Oh, and the basket’s full of low-sugar chocolate, but you really can’t tell a difference.”

I smiled as I wrapped her in a hug, leaning into her to kiss her cheek. “I love you Mom. Happy Easter.”

“I love you too sweetheart. Now go get a shower, and I’ll help you with your hair.”

“Margie’s stylist says I can come back and get it color-treated again if I don’t like the color. She wasn’t kidding about it relaxing the curl though,” I added with a giggle as I slid out of bed.

“Auburn looks lovely on you. I knew it would. You look even more like your sister,” she teased as I grabbed my bathrobe and stepped out of the room. Ash had been renovating the smaller upstairs bathroom, so I continued past it to the master bedroom, where the much more spacious master bathroom awaited. I wished I had time to soak in the tub, but I needed to be ready before Nicole arrived, so I opted for a shower instead.

Mom and I had picked out a really cute Easter dress for me. Normally I didn’t care for pastels because, with my naturally pale skin, pastels just washed me right out, but my dress was only passably pastel, a lovely shade of mid-ranged blue with thin shoulder straps and white accents that, coupled with the new hat she surprised me with, would look absolutely precious.

She just finished working on my hair and pinning the hat in place while I sat patiently at her vanity, when someone knocked at the bedroom door. I half-expected my step-dad when I looked up, instead seeing Nicole dressed in a gorgeous knee-length lavender dress in a similar style to mine. She giggled as she approached, and I stood to wrap her in a hug.

“You look beautiful,” we exclaimed in unison, giggled, and shared a quick kiss. Nicole smiled broadly as she turned to Mom.

“Wow, Linda you look amazing.”

“Thank you Nikki. You look adorable,” she answered. Nicole giggled as she squeezed my hand.

“Thanks. I’m sooo nervous. I didn’t have a thing to wear that really fit the occasion so I got Margie to recommend something for me. Anyway, I’m just going to leave my car here and ride with you guys if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine dear,” Mom answered as she put in her earrings then turned to hug us both, adding, “You two are so cute together. Are you ready to go?”

I nodded. “I just need to get my purse, and my ring. I never go anywhere without it.”

~oOo~

True to form, David’s service was wonderful and really inspiring. More than once he reinforced such tenets as not simply tolerating, but accepting and loving others, and as if to hit the point home, he said he would speak ‘off the cuff’ at the end of the service, talking about the Girl Scouts’ work lately, and making us all stand up to be recognized.

The irresistible scent of roast in onion gravy wafted through the entire house. Margie’s car rolled to a stop just out in front, and she stepped out in her beautiful floral dress, waving as she approached.

“Thanks for inviting me, Linda. I had my doubts but that really was a beautiful service.”

“I wish Kelly could have come as well, but she had an unavoidable shift at the hospital,” Mom answered as the two passed through to the kitchen together, meanwhile Nicole and I sat down on the sofa with Dad in a nearby chair.

Nicole smiled brightly at him. “We need to do this more often. You know, big family get-togethers. One of these days we need to get all our families together for a big picnic or something.”

“That’d be great,” I answered with a giggle. “Our dads standing around the grill arguing about whose grilling style is best, moms and sisters gossiping about how we’re doing in school. Hopefully Moira’s in town when we do.”

“Moira?” Nicole asked, but smiled.

“Well, yeah. She’s as much your big sister as Margie is to me. Plus she lives with Jane when she’s not on the road or recording, so she’s practically family.”

“You’re so sweet,” Nicole giggled. Before she could continue, Mom poked her head around the kitchen door and cleared her throat.

“Dinner’s almost ready. We’re just waiting on the rolls. I used a bit too much yeast so they’ve kind of overtaken the pan, but at least they’ll be fluffy.”

Nicole and I smiled at each other as we stood, walking hand-in-hand behind Dad into the kitchen. Margie had just finished setting the table as Mom carried the roast on a large platter, setting it at the center. I wished I’d had a camera handy because the whole scene looked like something out of a Macy’s calendar.

As we all sat together and held hands, Mom said Grace, and out grand feast began. In the back of my mind, I could only hope my new friend in Arkansas was enjoying her Easter as well. I would have to e-mail her later and find out how things went, but for now, I returned my attention to my family, my loving girlfriend, and our wonderful feast.