~* Home Away from Home *~ “Well I was going to go get some lunch, but how can I refuse that? Okay, Counselor Dunham?” “Yes Spirit?” Counselor Dunham answered, grinning back at me. “Do you have a spare horse?” “I saved one just for you dear,” she answered. “You remember Lulubelle, right?” “Oh jeeze.”

---

As the bus slowly rolled closer to camp, I stared out the window, watching the countryside slowly pass us by. Nicole’s smiling face stayed at the forefront of my thoughts, but somewhere deeper, I was thinking of Sarah. I still felt guilty leaving her behind, even if she had insisted. I sighed, turning my attention back to my friends.

“So are you guys using the same camp names as last year? I don’t think I could change mine if I wanted to though,” I laughed quietly.

Allison giggled. “I’m changing my camp nickname. But I’m not sure what to change it to.”

Jennifer smiled. “No more Alley Cat? I’m a bit torn on mine too. It just seems so childish now. What do you think about Ocean?”

“Too cliché,” Allison teased. “You look like a Copper to me.”

“Ew, no. Besides, if we get Sarah to join next year and become a CIT that’ll be perfect for her. I like the metallic slash gemstone theme though. What about Jade?”

The casual banter continued for awhile before Allison grinned at me. “Hey, what about ‘Mystic’ for Jen?”

“Ohhh I love it. I swear I sometimes think you can see the future Jen,” I giggled. She just shook her head and laughed.

“Hey, just because I hold spiritual beliefs deeply rooted in my ancient ancestry doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have a good time too,” she teased. “Mystic. I like it. Okay, that just leaves Alli’s. Hey, you know what I just realized? I didn’t see Mouse anywhere.”

“Oh, she promised she’d sign up this year. Maybe she just caught a ride with her sister?” I offered. Allison nodded.

“S’possible, yeah. I bumped into Elaine by the way. She’s looking a lot better lately. Hmm, oh, I know! Barbie!” she giggled. “I mean everyone’s always telling me I look like a properly-proportioned Barbie doll.”

Jennifer groaned, laughing. “Good lord, girl, I thought you were going for something more bold and original. Okay, I’ve got one. Serenity!”

Allison blinked a couple of times. “Serenity. I like it! We’ll figure out Nikki’s before we drag her butt back here for second session.”

“Speaking of which,” Jennifer added as the bus came to a stop. It almost seemed as though everyone was waiting for us. They stared expectantly, and Jennifer giggled, laying her hand on my shoulder. “Your reputation precedes you. Let’s boogie.”

“Boogie?” I asked, staring back at Jennifer. She shrugged and giggled as she stood, pulling me to my feet and practically pushing me along down the aisle in front of her.

It felt strange returning to camp, like going back to Alpine Springs after leaving San Francisco for the last time. I had come home, in a way. Camp Kutomanu was where I found myself, and where I learned to be a better leader. Now as a second-year CIT I’d be accepting more responsibilities though, including training first-year girls who signed up following in our footsteps, so to speak.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, the voice from the news footage of the first moon landing played in the back of my mind. One small step for Robin, one giant leap for Girl Scout kind, maybe? I laughed at myself.

“What?” Allison asked, as we gathered around Meredith. The other CITs seemed to follow our lead, a dozen in total not counting ourselves.

“It’s just nice to be back here,” I answered.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned about to find Natalie grinning at me. “Spirit!” she giggled, pulling me into a hug.

“Natalie! Hey!” I had to temper my excitement so as to not squeal in Meredith’s ear as I hugged Natalie back.

“Oh, it’s Kita,” she giggled. “I decided to follow Crystal’s example and sign up for the advanced stuff. It’d be too weird just coming back as a regular after what you did last year.”

“Kita. That’s cute.”

Before we could continue, Director Meredith brought her silver whistle to her lips, giving it a forceful enough blow to silence everyone around us.

“All right, this year we’re going to do things a little differently. We have more CITs, and we have more counselors. Second year plus CITs, you’ll be shadowing counselors today. First year CITs stand to the left, second year plus, on the right.”

The three of us stepped off to the right, and another girl I didn’t recognize stepped forward. She stood easily five feet six inches, with incredibly long jet black hair. Her deep violet eyes seemed to sparkle in the morning light.

“Excuse me ma’am,” the girl spoke softly, but with our proximity to Meredith I could just barely hear the conversation. “Technically I’m a second-year girl, but I didn’t attend last year. I’m not sure...”

“Oh,” Meredith answered, guessing the girl’s intent and smiling as she motioned to us. “Right over here, dear. I read the memo, and everything is in order.”

“Great,” she answered warmly as she approached us. Jennifer gave her a friendly smile.

“Welcome aboard the crazy train,” she teased. The girl laughed softly.

“I’m not sure I’ll be staying the whole two weeks actually, but while I’m here I’ll do what I can to help out. I’m Lily.”

“Is that your real name or your camp name?” Allison asked politely. The girl smiled.

“Just Lily,” she answered, and winked. That seemed enough of an answer for Allison, and by now Meredith had spoken with the first-year CITs, giving them their first assignment, to round up the girls and show them to their cabins. She turned back to approach us.

“Now then. Ladies, everything is in order. Just like last year you three will have Cabin thirteen. Lily, dear, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve put you in cabin twelve, right across the way with several other CITs?”

Lily tilted her head slightly, but nodded. “That’s fine. I was just telling the others that I would probably not be able to stay the whole time anyway.”

“Oh that’s right. Your sick grandmother.”

Lily nodded. “Yes. They don’t know how much time she has left. But I promise I’ll work hard while I’m here, ma’am.”

“Well, you know where your cabins are. I need to go round up some counselors,” Meredith chuckled. She paused to smile at me. “Robin, walk with me?”

I caught a glimpse of Jennifer and Lily exchanging a glance as I stepped away, but thought nothing of it, following Meredith after I picked up my small duffel bag, leaving my suitcase for one of the others to carry for me. Meredith rested a hand on my shoulder.

“I understand you wanted to talk to me about an important matter? What’s on your mind, dear?”

I bit my lip as I looked up at her. I wanted to tell her about Sarah. I wanted to tell her everything, but somehow just felt wrong even despite the fact Meredith probably already knew who Sarah was. “I have a friend... She’s very important to me, and she’s had a very, very hard life. She’s in a fragile place right now, but if I had stayed behind to stay with her, it would’ve made things worse. I know this sort of thing’s against the rules, but is it okay for her to contact me here?”

“We allow contact for emergencies. Just how fragile are we talking about?”

“Suicidal,” I flinched, wishing I had chosen a better word. “She’s... she’s getting better, but she needs to be able to reach me. I’m the only one she completely trusts right now, so I promised her I’d make arrangements for her to call me here if she needed to talk. It was that or stay home and risk whatever fallout might come of that.”

“I see,” Meredith answered. “Well that is certainly a difficult position to be in. Robin, you’re a strong, caring, kind-hearted girl. Your fellow scouts love you, and so do my sister-in-law and my niece. When you vouch for someone, I know you have a good reason. I’ll make sure the staff knows. What’s your friend’s name?”

“Sarah Stevens,” I answered. Meredith nodded. “Ah,” she answered simply. “I’ll take care of everything.”

“Thanks Director Meredith; I owe you a big one.” I looked up to see we were standing outside the camp’s clinic. She practically grinned.

“Nurse Bree is just inside.”

~oOo~

I didn’t remember our cabins being in a semi-circle, but a lot had happened since last year, too. Cabins 12, 13, 14, and 15 all sat in a neat little pattern that had apparently been designated the CIT division after last year. Outside the cabins stood nineteen girls plus one familiar blonde. Alice grinned as she waved me over.

“There’s Spirit! We were just talking about you.”

“Uh oh?” I asked, causing her to laugh.

“Nah, nothing bad. So this is everyone? I have to say I’m impressed. I knew we’d have a large turnout this year. Before we get started, Natalie - AKA Kita, has something she wants to say?”

Natalie stepped up beside Alice, but then she plodded over and grabbed my arm, dragging me back with her.

“Guys, those of you who were here last year know who this is, and you also know who I am. Some of you even knew Crystal, God bless her. She was my best friend, and when it felt like nobody else gave a damn that she was gone, this girl, this amazing, sweet, caring girl,” Natalie paused to wipe her tears, clearing her throat.

“She stepped up and she did the impossible. She made sure nobody’d ever forget. And she did it with people like me laughing in her face. She is what it means to be a Girl Scout. She’s Spirit. Listen to her, follow her advice, but most importantly follow her example. I love you Spirit, and I’m a better person because of your influence.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just stood there, stunned silent as applause and cheers roared around me. I shook my head.

“Really, guys, I’m just like anybody else. My mother taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated. That’s just how I am, and I didn’t do all that alone. I had help from my fellow CITs. God knows my time at camp was rough with my mother in the hospital and everything, but some of my happiest memories are here, and I’m excited to make some new ones with all of you.”

“Well,” Alice began, glancing at her watch, “You have thirty minutes until orientation. Meet back here by then if you decide to explore a bit. Let me know if you need a map, or just pester one of the second-year-plus girls here for directions,” she teased.

“I’m going to walk down to the lake for a minute,” I said simply and smiled, giving Alice a quick hug. “We need to catch up later though. Hey, did Kathy make it?”

“Not yet,” Alice answered warmly. “She’s going to be here next term though. She wanted to attend a photography camp first to brush up on her skills.”

“Awesome,” I answered cheerfully. “I’m glad you guys could patch things up. I’d be so lost without my older sister,” I added with a smile, turning to step away from the group. I couldn’t help feeling someone following me, but when I glanced over my shoulder I couldn’t see anyone either. I shrugged it off and continued walking.

That Lily girl reminded me of Nicole, and I knew if I was going to get through the day I had to put my feelings aside, let go of her for a couple of weeks, and try to have fun. It was what Nicole wanted after all, and the best way to do that was at our ‘special place’.

The lake hadn’t changed much since last year. The lack of rain lately had diminished its size by about a foot overall, but it was still completely safe to dive off the pier - not that I intended to. I pulled off my shoes and walked barefoot down the pier, seating myself. The bottoms of my feet just barely skimmed the surface as I stared out across the lake, and I suddenly caught a strong whiff of lilacs. A moment later I heard someone approach, and looked back to see Lily smiling down at me.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I hope you brought several,” I teased. “Is that you I smell?”

She giggled as she eased herself down next to me, lazily dangling her feet over the edge. “Oh yes. That Natalie girl was setting up some sort of automatic air freshener, but it went off in her hand and doused a couple of us.”

“Oops,” I giggled, shaking my head. “It was Crystal’s. She adored lilacs. And as for my thoughts, I’m just thinking of someone.”

“Anyone I know?” she asked. Again her deep violet eyes seemed to sparkle as she smiled warmly at me. I shrugged a little.

“I dunno, maybe. You remind me of her. Her name’s Nikki. This was kind of our special place. We’d come here to talk about our feelings and things like that. This lake has a calming effect, like the little stream that runs behind my house back home. I’m being silly though, pining away when I should be having fun. That’s why I came down here though.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone,” the girl smiled as she started to stand, but I reached out to catch her arm, smiling back at her.

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t come here to be alone. I just came here to clear my head.”

“So what’s she like, your Nikki? Is she pretty?” Lily asked innocently.

“She’s gorgeous. I was never into the whole Goth thing before I met her, but she makes black look good. She’s sweet, caring, but strong when she has to be, independent. I love her. This is the first time we’ve been apart since we started dating though.”

“Ohhh, so that’s what’s bothering you. Well, honestly I don’t think you’re being silly at all. It’s been,” Lily paused, as if in thought, “Well, several years since I lost one of my closest friends, but not a day passes I don’t think of her. But you and Nikki will be reunited soon, right?”

I smiled thoughtfully back at her. “You know, you’re right. She’ll be home from her rock camp in a few days, and I can see her this weekend if we do something like we did last year.”

“Oh yes, the big luau,” Lily chuckled. “It’s too bad I’ll probably miss that this year. I heard it was great. Well, anyway, I’ll see you around. It was nice meeting you, Spirit.”

“Likewise,” I replied as I stood. I didn’t know why but I felt compelled to hug her. She smiled at the gesture as I continued, “Thanks for listening. This is going to be a great session this year.”

~oOo~

Like last year, orientation at the central pavilion progressed in a certain order. First Meredith welcomed everyone, then went down a list of ground rules, and finally ended with introducing the Counselors and Counselors-in-Training. At least this year I could say I was from Alpine Springs, though somehow word got around that I was from California prior to that.

I had one or two younger girls come up to ask me questions about life back there, some of which were kind of amusing. One even wanted to know if we had cows in California. Apparently she’d never seen the commercial about happy cows making happy cheese, or something like that.

It felt good to tread the well-worn paths again. After orientation I spent a little bit of time just walking around with nowhere important to go. It wasn’t that I was shirking my responsibilities already so much as that there just were none to shirk yet. First day was always orientation, meeting counselors, attending seminars on art classes. I did sit in on the leatherworking and basic survival classes though.

“Well hi there Robin,” Counselor Cynthia Dunham called warmly as I approached the camp’s stables. I greeted her with a warm hug and a bright smile.

“Hi Cyn--I mean Counselor Dunham.”

“It’s okay; you can call me Cynthia, dear.” she answered. “I was just about to saddle up some horses for the first riding lesson. You want to give me a hand? The girls should be here soon.”

“Oh, I’d love to,” I answered, following her into the stables. As she handed me a brush, she pointed to the first horse.

“Just brush her down for now, and I’ll start saddling them up once we’re done. So how are you? I noticed Nikki’s not with you this year?”

“Yeah, she’s gone to some huge rock music camp in New York. She’ll be here next term though. Things with me have been okay too. One of my friends is in a pretty delicate place, but I arranged with Meredith so that she can call me if she needs to talk.”

“Wow. It must be serious. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay?”

I smiled, nodding. “Yes ma’am. I think what she really needs is some quiet time. It’s a shame I couldn’t talk her into coming up here. I know she’d love it here. The canoeing, the horseback riding, the goofy campfire songs. Oh, that reminds me, Ally got a new guitar just for camp.”

“That’s great! We’ll have our first bonfire tonight. Counselor Lawson brought her guitar this year, but you know what they say - the more, the merrier.” She grinned.

“Yeah. I’ve been learning to play piano, but those aren’t exactly portable like a guitar,” I answered with a giggle as I finished brushing the first of the horses. Without really thinking about it, or waiting for her to ask, I moved to the next horse after hers after knocking the brush against a support pole to clean it.

Eventually a small group of girls began to gather outside, including Elaine and Tracy. I followed Counselor Dunham as she led a gentle black horse out of the stables by its hand-tooled leather reins. “This, ladies, is a horse,” she began, eliciting a giggle from the girls.

“Some of you know how to ride already, and some of you are new at this, so for the benefit of the latter, I’m going to go over some safety basics.” She paused to grin at me. “And I should mention that as of this year we’ve added a new rule. Spirit’s Rule. If you get thrown off, don’t be afraid to get back up again.”

Elaine and Tracy giggled as I approached. “Hi Robin,” Tracy smiled, pulling me into a hug. I thought I had seen her earlier that morning, but it hadn’t sunk in that she was wearing a CIT shirt until now.

“Hi Tracy. That shirt suits you,” I half-teased, grinning as I turned back to the lesson. I had no idea if Tracy could ride, but I wasn’t about to interfere with her learning if she didn’t. Once the initial lesson was over though, it was two younger girls who came up to me, one with short, straight black hair and green eyes, the other with longer, fiery red hair not unlike Amanda’s, and deep blue eyes.

“Hi Spirit,” the first cheered warmly. “Remember us?”

It actually took me a second to recognize them. “You’re Amanda’s friends right? Let’s see,” I paused, pretending to remember their names. I pointed at the first girl, Denise, “You’re Amber, and you’re Denise right?”

“No!” they giggled. “I’m Amber, she’s Denise.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I’m just teasing you. Have you ever been horseback riding before?”

“We were too young last year,” Denise answered.

“Are you going to come riding with us?” Amber asked, followed from both girls by a “Pleeeease?”

“Well I was going to go get some lunch, but how can I refuse that? Okay, Counselor Dunham?”

“Yes Spirit?” Counselor Dunham answered, grinning back at me.

“Do you have a spare horse?”

“I saved one just for you dear,” she answered. “You remember Lulubelle, right?”

“Oh jeeze.”

~oOo~

Later that night, Jennifer, Lily and I walked down to where the bonfire was being set up. A number of log benches sat in an outlying circle on a slight incline, with the first ‘row’ a safe distance from where the fire pit had apparently been redug and fortified with a small layer of stones around the outside.

While Jennifer and Lily sat down, I approached Counselor Davis, as petite a woman as I remembered, whom had just finished bringing in a small bundle of dried kindling. She glanced up at me and nodded.

“Hi Spirit. What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to see if you needed any help.”

Her smile broadened. “As a matter of fact I do. Could you help me arrange the wood pallets? We’re trying to get a large bonfire going with as little wood as possible.”

“Sure, no problem,” I answered. She passed me a pair of work gloves, and we set to it, carefully stacking and arranging the wood around the kindling she had brought over earlier. By the time we had finished, Jennifer, Lily, and a couple of counselors had joined in as well. I passed the gloves back to Counselor Davis and turned to rejoin the girls whom, by now, had been joined by Allison with her little travel guitar in-hand.

“Hey Spirit,” Jennifer giggled, “Lily has some ideas we might look into for the Native American stuff.”

“Well I wouldn’t say ideas exactly,” Lily rolled her shoulders as she smiled. “But I know a little bit about the history of this area. My family’s lived here for years. I’ll try and write down what I remember and give it to one of you tonight or tomorrow.”

“Awesome,” Allison answered as she began to tune her guitar. “I love these nanoweb strings. I don’t even have to do much tuning.”

“That is a lovely instrument,” Lily replied. “It reminds me of a parlor guitar one of my relatives had. Dainty little thing, but a sound like Heaven itself.”

Allison giggled. “My grandpa had what he called a parlor guitar too. I completely forgot about it because it's up in the attic, I think. I’ll dig it out when I get back home and see if it needs restoring or anything. It’d look great next to my sister’s piano as a conversation piece, if nothing else.”

“Oh I agree,” Jennifer answered. I just sort of sat and let the conversation drift and pass me by, smiling and listening. It was a great night, that night. No concerns, just me, my old friends, our new friend Lily, and a nice bonfire to roast marshmallows by.

~oOo~

The next day had been an incredibly productive one. That morning I attended an advanced leather tooling class and sat in on a first-aid course to brush up before I’d have to renew my CPR certification, and I even went swimming before lunch. I had just walked back down to the lake with Jennifer, planning to do some canoeing with her when Lily came racing up to us, nearly out of breath.

“Spirit, they just called your name over the camp PA system.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked, hoping my gut reaction was wrong.

“I don’t know. They just said you had a phone call.”

“Oh shit,” I cursed. I never cursed normally, but I did that day, and I took off in a dead sprint. About halfway to the main lodge, I nearly knocked over two girls coming from the opposite direction around a small, blind corner due to a large oak tree.

“Sorry!” I called as I continued.

“S’okay!” one of the girls shouted back, for once making me thankful for my reputation.

Nurse Bree stood just inside the lodge, holding a cordless phone in her hand. She smiled as she passed it off to me. “Here you go, hon,” she whispered.

I was groping for breath as I sat down on one of the lodge’s sofas. “Hi Sarah,” I managed.

“Wow. Spirit are you okay?”

I laughed despite myself. “I’m fine. I just ran all the way to the main lodge from the lake. Is everything okay?”

“Um... Not... exactly.”

~oOo~

I sighed as I hung up the phone. “Katelyn. I hope I remember her number.” I carefully punched in the number, bringing the phone to my ear.

“Yeah, what is it?” Katelyn groussed.

“Hi Katelyn,” I answered, careful to use my best neutral tone.

“Robin! Oh, um, hey, what’s up?”

“Katelyn, listen, I just got a call from a friend of mine named Sarah. She’s having a really tough time right now.”

“Sarah? Is she a short kid with strawberry blonde hair?”

“Yeah, that’s her. Listen, I’d really appreciate it if you could ease up on her. I’m serious about her having a rough time right now. She needs good friends.”

“She started it,” Katelyn snapped defensively, but sighed. “Look, whatever. If this is about what happened at the pool, it was an accident. She got all pissy with me afterwards. I walked away and left her alone.”

“She mentioned that, yeah. Just try and give her a chance, okay? I think you’ll like her. Just think about it, for me?”

Katelyn sighed. “Okay, for you I’ll think about it. Sorry Robin.”

“Don’t be. If it were anyone else I wouldn’t say a word, but she’s special. I have to go now. I’ll be home in a couple of weeks. We can talk more then.”

“Okay. Bye Robin,” she answered, sounding almost sullen as she hung up.

I stood, handing the phone to Meredith as she approached. “Was that your friend?”

“Yeah. One of my other friends was giving her a hard time. I think Sarah might have taken it all a little too seriously, but I asked the other friend to ease up a little bit and try to give her a chance. I just hope they don’t kill each other before I get back - figuratively speaking of course.” I managed a laugh. “Katelyn’s a nice girl. She’s just got a nasty temper, and Sarah’s been through a lot, so it’s kind of natural that they feed off each other like that. If they’d just give each other a chance I know they’d be good friends though.”

Meredith smiled proudly as she gave me a light hug. “You’re an incredible young woman. Have you ever thought about psychology?”

“I’ve thought about it. I’m not sure if I want to pursue it or not, but I kind of do. I want to be in a field where I can help people as much as others have helped me, you know? Anyway, I’d better get back down to the lake before Jennifer leaves without me. Thanks Meredith.”

“Anytime, dear. That’s what we’re here for,” she answered with a warm smile, as I turned to head back down to the lake. In the back of my mind, I wondered, even hoped that what I’d said would sink in, that Katelyn would give Sarah a chance, and more importantly, that Sarah would give Katelyn another one.

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