~* Summer Days, Driftin' Away *~ “Hey, this is huge news,” I answered. I couldn’t help giggling. I felt positively giddy and hugged her again. “You can call me anytime you want, if you need to talk, or if you just want to hang out.” “Thanks. I’ll have to take you up on that. You’re going to camp next week aren’t you?” “Well,” I started, glancing at Allison. She smiled and nodded reassuringly. “What?” Sarah frowned. “Don’t tell me something came up?”

---

Nicole and Allison kept giggling about a surprise they wanted to work on for me, so I spent Tuesday just lounging around the house, trying to take it easy. I got on my computer and browsed around to a few websites, chatted with Elaine for a few minutes, and then when Mom came home from her morning shift at the hospital, we drove to New Haven together to see my therapist, Barbara Ketzowski.

I actually hadn’t seen Barbara on a regular basis in awhile because of my hectic schedule, but I tried to make a twice-a-month visit. Since cheer nationals fell on my regular Saturday, she offered to meet with me the following Tuesday. I couldn’t wait to see her again. I had so much to talk about.

“Hi Robin,” Barbara called cheerfully as we entered the main lobby. She gave me that trademarked grandmotherly smile that I fell in love with in the first place, raising her McDonalds McCafé cup of half-eaten milkshake in greeting.

“Late lunch?” I asked, trying not to giggle. She laughed.

“Indeed. My granddaughter wanted me to join her for lunch now that school is out. How did you do in your cheer competition?”

I smiled brightly as Mom and I approached, following Barbara to the elevator. “Really well. We placed twenty-ninth overall, which is actually really good for a first year squad.”

“That’s wonderful! My granddaughter wants to try out when she’s old enough. She’s already taking gymnastics and tumbling, and she’s only ten.”

“Aw, that’s awesome. She’ll have no trouble making varsity, starting that early.”

Barbara smiled proudly, and as the elevator doors opened, stepped out, turning back to us. “I’ll be right with you, if you’d like to go ahead and wait in my office. I just need to put this on ice.”

“Sure thing,” I answered, turning back to Mom. “How are you feeling, anyway?” Mom laughed softly as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I leaned lightly into her.

“Better. I can’t decide if it was just morning sickness, or if I should have skipped the bacon and just had eggs.”

“You’re eating for two now,” I teased, resting my hand on her stomach.

She smiled and kissed my forehead as we stepped into Barbara’s office. “I’m so relieved you’re taking everything so well. I was worried that having a new baby might bother you. You’ll always be my baby though - my precious little girl.”

I could feel my cheeks burn as I giggled. I never, even after a year of living as Robin, got tired of hearing those words. I smiled and kissed her cheek. “I love you Momma. And whatever happens with the new baby, I’m going to do whatever I can to help out. Boy or girl, it’s going to have a loving big sister there - four, if you count Nikki, Ally, and Jen.”

We had only just seated ourselves when Barbara entered the room. She smiled as she approached us, taking her usual seat next to the overstuffed sofa, familiar notepad in hand.

“Well, let’s get started shall we?” Barbara asked cheerfully.

“I guess I should start with the cheer competition. I was so nervous I thought I was going to be sick, but a girl from another squad gave me some great advice on how to beat my nerves. I’m still having trouble coping with not being able to change with my teammates though. They respect my wishes to change in private, but it’s so hard sometimes.”

“How so?” Barbara asked.

“Well like, at nationals, we wore our uniforms to the event so we didn’t have to actually change as part of getting ready for our routine. Sasha pulled me aside and asked me to help her with her stage makeup. She said it was really nice having me there, that it felt like the squad wasn’t whole without me.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

I shook my head slowly, searching for the right words. “Conflicted, I think. It hurts when they say things like that, and I know they don’t mean it like that. It just hurts because it reminds me that I’m not like them. But at the same time it makes me feel so incredible knowing that they do want me there, that they do accept me. I just wish,” I caught myself, and frowned.

“Wish what, Robin?”

“I wish I could have the surgery and get it over with, but I know I can’t. I mean, even if you sponsored me, with like, ten other therapists agreeing with you, I still have to wait because there’s just so much I want to do that downtime for recovery isn’t worth it.”

“Are you having second thoughts about GRS?”

“No, not at all,” I answered immediately. I didn’t even have to think about it. “But, like I have girl scout camp coming up. I’m doing both sessions because, for me, that was the most relaxing, amazing experience of m life. Then there’s going to be some cheer camps I’ll be attending. We’ll also be doing team-building as a squad, and this year we’re bringing in hopefuls who want to join.”

“Hopefuls?” Barbara asked. She had a remarkable way of saying so much in only a couple of words.

“Yeah, like anyone who wants to join is invited to participate in team building exercises, to show them what we do to encourage each other. It was Sasha’s idea. So it’s not that I don’t want to have the surgery. It’s just...” I paused, biting my lip. “I don’t think I’m ready to make the decision yet.”

Barbara smiled proudly. “That’s a very, very mature conclusion to draw, and it’s one that I agree with. If you were truly ready for this step, you would find a way to make it work. I know you too well. And when you ARE ready, I have several colleagues who would be more than pleased to evaluate your readiness for themselves.”

“It just feels like such a life-changing event. It’s something I want to do, not because I feel ‘left out’ or that I feel it would make everything right. I know it wouldn’t. It’s just it would be one less frustration in my life. But it’s not something I’m ready for yet. Maybe next summer, when I’m seventeen, I’ll think about it again and find a way to make it work.” I inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly, and smiled.

“Wow. I feel so much better.”

“That’s what I’m here for, sweetheart. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

“Actually there is. My friend Sarah - the girl from the news reports down in Arkansas, is coming to stay here in New Haven. We’re trying to make her feel as welcome as possible in case she moves here. My friends and I talked about what we could do for her, like introducing her to some of the girls her age from our scout troop, asking her to hang out with us because we really do want to spend time with her, that sort of thing.”

“The most important thing you can do for her right now is to be there for her, and make sure she knows that you’re there for her. You know firsthand how hard it can be, and you have the benefit of stealth. Talk to her about what frustrates you, what you find difficult, and how you get around those obstacles, but also talk to her about what you enjoy doing, and let her know that it’s not all bad.”

“Oh, I have to talk to her about swimsuits. I never thought I’d have to wear one, and I had to use medical adhesive to …”

Barbara flinched. “Oh heavens, Robin. You poor thing.”

“Yeah. That was a painful five minutes in my cabin bathroom, peeling off tape after it was all over.”

She was fighting it hard, but I could tell she wanted to laugh. I did too. “Yeah, that’s going to be a big one to talk to her about. I had to go to Kelly about it. It’s kind of embarrassing, but we have to do what we have to do to let society see us for who we are, right?”

“That’s exactly right sweetheart,” she replied, smiling warmly.

“Thanks so much Doctor Ketz. There’s one other thing I wanted to ask. When I moved here, my now best friend Allison had decided before I even came that she wanted to stay home and spend time with me rather than going to Girl Scout camp. I’m thinking about doing the same for Sarah. Do you think it’d be a bad idea?”

She paused in thought for just a moment before responding. “I certainly think she would appreciate the gesture, but you’ve also been looking forward to camp all year. Ordinarily I’d agree that it is a good idea, but as you’ve said yourself, camp is your downtime, your chance to relax and have fun. I can see the good in both sides, and there’s no easy answer. My suggestion would be to talk to Sarah about it.” She smiled warmly.

“Yeah, that’s exactly my problem,” I answered sheepishly. “Well, I’ll bring it up when I take her aside to talk to her. Thanks again Dr. Ketz. I’d be so lost without you.” I stood to hug her and then made my way back out with Mom following along close behind me.

“So, now where to?” she asked. I shrugged and smiled back at her. For once I had nowhere else to be.

“Wherever you want to go, Mom.”

“Well, the girls at work were telling me about a new Candle Emporium that just opened.

~oOo~

I spent a great deal of Tuesday afternoon, well into the evening, hanging out at my step-dad’s dojo. I had been able to keep up with my Kenpo practice over the last couple of months, but improvement was a constant struggle with everything else going on, so it felt kind of relaxing to be able to let loose and focus on my training for a change.

By Thursday, I had seen very little of Nicole or Allison, and only slightly more of Jennifer. I was beginning to go stir crazy, and if I spent another minute at home doing nothing, cabin fever would have driven me completely off the deep end, so I jumped in my yellow convertible, driving over to Allison’s.

Much to my surprise, Nicole’s Mustang sat in the Jones’ driveway, so I pulled up into Margie’s and stepped out. The sale pending sign next door had been replaced, and a large furniture delivery truck sat idling in front. Two burly men were in the process of moving a very nice white sofa through the front door, so I left them be, turning to head over to Allison’s.

“Hello?” I called, poking my head in the door. No one answered. I slowly walked through the living room, stopping at the basement door. “Nikki? Ally?”

“Boo,” Nicole stated simply just as I turned around. I squealed.

“Jeeze! Don’t do that!” I laughed, throwing my arms around her.

“God I missed you these last couple of days. Where have you been hiding?”

She giggled as she kissed me. “I missed you too. It wasn’t supposed to take this long, but Ally and me wanted to make sure everything was set up just right.”

“Set what up?”

“Come see!” she giggled, pulling me along past the kitchen to the garage. The most immediate and obvious change was that they had brought my keyboard over from Margie’s. Instead of the office computer chair I had been using though, a new, and rather expensive-looking adjustable padded bench now sat. Running from the keyboard was a long cord that led to a large amplifier sitting beside the one Allison and Nicole plugged their guitars into.

“Getting a good keyboard amp was the easy part,” Allison giggled as she stepped closer to hug me. “But you wouldn’t believe how hard we searched for a nice piano bench that would look good with your keyboard.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered. “You guys... I can’t believe you went to all this trouble for me. I don’t know what to say.”

“So sing it!” Jennifer cheered from behind me as she threw her arms around me. I turned back to hug her.

“Jen! Hey!”

“You didn’t think you could start this party without me did you? Best part is the new neighbors haven’t moved in yet, so we can belt it as much as we want, hey?”

“Yeah, I still don’t know who that is yet,” Allison added. “Kelly knows, but she’s not talking. So I’m probably going to bake some cookies or something for a little welcome basket so I can sneak a peek this weekend.”

“Oh, great idea!” Nicole giggled. “Moira asked me to go bass shopping with her this weekend. She wants to try out the new Ibanez 5-string and compare it to her current stage guitar. She might be getting a custom Fender though.”

Jennifer glanced at me. “Did you get any of that?”

I shook my head and giggled. “Not. One. Word.”

“Oh, shut up,” Nicole laughed. “Basically we’re going to go geek out and probably spend way too much money on a piece of wood with big metal strings slapped on.”

“Ohhhh,” we answered in unison, and started giggling again.

“Anyway,” Nicole started, motioning to my keyboard, “Go ahead and try it out. Jen,” she added, handing Jennifer a microphone, “Mic’s all yours.”

“You’re too kind,” she teased.

~oOo~

“Robin!” Allison squealed as soon as I answered my phone. “Oh my God, get over here right away!”

“What? Ally what’s wrong?!” I could feel my heart racing as I frantically pulled on my bedroom for my favorite pair of shoes - my velcro t-strap casuals.

“Nothing,” she giggled excitedly. “It’s what’s right! Our new neighbor! Oh my God. You’re never going to believe who it is!”

“Oh thank God. I thought something happened.” I paused as realization dawned on me. After a rather amazing date with Nicole Friday night, everything else was just a bit of a blur. “Hang on, you went to meet the new neighbors didn’t you? So tell me!”

“Sarah!” she squealed. “As in, Stevens!”

“OH MY GOD!” I almost shouted. “You’re joking!”

My mother suddenly burst through the door, having apparently heard me shouting. “What’s wrong?!”

“Oh, hang on Ally,” I stood and rushed over to hug Mom, giggling. “Sarah’s moving in next to Margie!”

Mom just sort of grinned as she nodded.

“You knew?”

She actually giggled. My mother giggled. “I’m sorry I kept it from you dear, but I wanted to surprise you. Margie, Kelly and I have been in conference calls with her benefactors about that old house since before the trip to Washington. How they found out about it I can’t say. That Ashleigh is a resourceful woman.”

“That’s amazing. Oh!” I picked up the phone again. “Sorry Ally. Mom wanted to know what was wrong. Apparently she knew all along. Anyway I’ll be right over!”

“Have fun, dear,” Mom added as she stepped out of the room, pausing in the hall. “I think I’m going to take a nice, hot bath so I can soak my ankles.”

“Okay Mom. I’ll tell Sarah you said hello,” I answered, grabbing my purse and dashing out.

~oOo~

I wasn’t sure if Sarah recognized my car as it rolled up into Margie’s driveway, but as soon as Allison and I approached, before we even reached the front door, really, she flung the door open, racing out and down the walkway to meet us.

“SPIRIT!” she cheered happily as Allison and I both hugged her.

“Hey you! Welcome to Alpine Springs!”

“Thanks,” Sarah answered warmly. “God it’s so good to see you guys. Hey Ally, I’m sorry I was so quiet earlier. I was still kinda in shock at the new house and everything.”

Allison giggled as she shrugged. “Hey, it’s okay. The first thing I did when I got back inside was call Robin to get her butt over here.”

“Really?” she gasped. “Thanks Ally. I thought about it, but I just wasn’t sure, you know?”

“Hey, this is huge news,” I answered. I couldn’t help giggling. I felt positively giddy and hugged her again. “You can call me anytime you want, if you need to talk, or if you just want to hang out.”

“Thanks. I’ll have to take you up on that. You’re going to camp next week aren’t you?”

“Well,” I started, glancing at Allison. She smiled and nodded reassuringly.

“What?” Sarah frowned. “Don’t tell me something came up?”

“Sarah, last year, when I first moved here, a very dear friend helped me become who I am now. She got me out of my shell and made me feel like a real girl for the first time in my life. But the thing is, I found out later that she skipped her first session of camp to do that for me. And, well, I was thinking that I’d like to pay it forward.”

Sarah shook her head slowly. “Robin, you should go. You’ve been looking forward to this all year. In your letters you talked about how amazing and relaxing the whole experience was for you. I’d never forgive myself if I was the reason you stayed.”

“It’s not like that though. I want to be here for you.”

Allison smiled thoughtfully. “You know, I think I have an idea.” We both turned expectantly, waiting for her to continue. “Robin you know how much Director Meredith admires you for what you did for Crystal last year, don’t you?”

“Who’s Crystal?” Sarah asked, confused.

“Crystal was a girl who went to our girl scout camp. She was a second year CIT - that’s Counselor in Training. The story most of us have heard is that before camp, she slept with her boyfriend and got pregnant, but she didn’t find out until she was already away.” Allison explained to Sarah about Crystal, Natalie, and the big camp luau, and when she finished, she smiled and squeezed my hand.

“So I was thinking,” she continued, “what if you talk to Meredith about Sarah? I mean, Sarah you don’t have to go with us if you don’t want, but I’m sure she’d be willing to give you special permission to at least call.”

“Really?” Sarah asked. “You’d do that for me? Wow, I don’t know what to say.”

I had to giggle a little as I pulled her into a hug. “You’re like a sister to me, but it’s more than that. Sarah there’s a lot of stuff that I had to figure out the hard way. There are some things, not just about being a girl, but about being a transgendered girl, that Ally and the others just can’t help us with.”

“We’re here to listen,” Allison advised, “But some problems are just beyond us.”

“Kelly helped me out so much,” I added with a smile, “And I know she’ll help you too, but I’d also like to help in any way I can. We can talk about it later though. Right now I’d love to see your new house!”

“Oh, sure!” Sarah bubbled. “I’ll give you the grand tour. My aunts went so overboard furnishing the place.”

~oOo~

Over the next few days we spent a lot of time together, hanging out, shooting pool in the Jones’ game room, and helping Sarah get settled in her new house. The following Wednesday, I had just been over at Sarah’s, talking with her about the all-important bathing suit problems. She tried to convince me she’d never wear a bathing suit, until I told her about my experience at camp. That changed her mind quickly.

I had just left her house, walking back to my car when my cell phone rang.

“Hey Nikki. What’s up?” I asked.

“Robin, I have to show you guys something. Can you grab Ally and Jen and come over?”

“Sure, no problem,” I answered. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, but you should hurry or you’ll miss it!”

“Okay, I’ll see you in about fifteen minutes?”

“Great. Love you.”

“Love you too,” I answered warmly, heading over to Allison’s.

~oOo~

“Oh my God, they’re adorable,” Jennifer cooed, peeking over my shoulder into the tall box, where three little creatures, not entirely unlike miniature rabbits at about four or five inches, lay sleeping amid a pile of natural hay. Nicole nodded sadly.

“I searched everywhere for signs of their mother. From what I can tell a hawk mighta gotten her. I’m just waiting for the animal rescue people to come, but I assured them I know what I’m doing. It was a miracle I found them when I did. Another week and they’d be too old to be around humans.”

Allison eyed Nicole with an amused smile. “Nikki, when did you become an expert on rabbits?”

Nicole laughed as she rolled her shoulders. “Hey, I grew up in the south, remember? My grandpa kept a small rabbit hutch to raise domesticated ones, but once in awhile we’d find an abandoned nest in the wild, or his neighbors would bring an injured baby. It didn’t happen often, but often enough that I learned how to raise and release ‘em.”

“How did you manage to even pick them up?” I finally asked. They certainly seemed comfortable enough to continue sleeping and completely ignore the spectacle we were making over them.

“Well based on their size and fur, I’d guess they’re about three weeks old. They’re old enough to be off mother’s milk, thankfully, but their natural instincts haven’t fully kicked in yet. Grandpa had a name for it, but I dunno what it was anymore. They’ll be ready to go back into the wild in another week or two so I’m going to let animal rescue care for them.”

Nicole squeezed my hand as we stood, adding, “Besides, we’ve got too much going on right now. These guys need someone who can be there in case they get sick or something.”

Jennifer wrapped an arm around Nicole’s neck. “You’ve really changed the last couple of years. There was a time when you were as timid as our little friends there,” she teased.

Nicole laughed. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon, I’ll show you where I found their nest. Sometimes I forget Alpine Springs isn’t exactly the big city.”

~oOo~

I woke up early Saturday morning. Thankfully I had already showered the night before, and our CIT t-shirts came early this year, no doubt due to the foul-up last year causing them to be so late. Mom sat at the kitchen table in her bath robe, sipping her morning coffee when I came bounding down the stairs, makeup done and hair pulled up in a dark green ribbon.

“Morning sweetheart,” Mom offered warmly as she stood to hug me.

“Morning Momma. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Do you have everything you need? Prescription’s filled through the month?”

“Yeah, I got it filled yesterday, and my suitcase is full of just about everything I could think of. Margie altered that cute Hawaiian dress I wore last year just in case I needed it, but we agreed to wait until session two to do the luau. It just wouldn’t be the same without Nikki.”

I dropped a couple of cherry toaster pastries into the toaster, turning back to face her as I leaned against the cabinet. “It’s going to be so weird being away for an entire month, but I’ve been looking forward to this all year.”

Mom nodded, smiling up at me. “But at least you’ll have the weekend break between sessions. Have you thought about where you want to spend it?”

“Actually I have. I was thinking we could do a sleepover at Ally’s and invite Sarah over, plus anyone else she wants to invite, and maybe talk her into coming back to camp with us. Not as a CIT of course, but I think she’d enjoy it. It sure helped me.”

“That’s a wonderful idea. Have you spoken with Director Meredith about it?”

“Not yet, but assuming we get our old cabin again we should have an extra couple of beds.”

Just as my pastries popped up, someone knocked at the side kitchen door. I glanced over to see Allison grin and wave, and motioned for her to come inside.

“Hey, all set?”

“Almost,” I answered, holding up my breakfast. She laughed. “You can eat in the car. I promised Meredith we’d be there early to set a good example. Here, I’ll get your bags. You enjoy your breakfast. Hi Linda, see you in two weeks!” she giggled, waving to my mother as she hurried across the room to pick up my suitcases.

“Bye Mom,” I mumbled around my breakfast as I hugged her.

“Have fun, dear!”

~oOo~

When Allison said ‘early’, she really meant early. Like last year, we were to meet at Alpine Springs’ Northside High School as the most central location for our immediate area, which made it totally convenient for us to score brownie points, and of course Carol was driving us so we wouldn’t be leaving anyone’s car for two weeks.

The buses, parked in a neat little row in the school bus lane beside the school, had their side luggage compartments open and empty, at least from what we could see as we approached, though there was no sign of a driver or another counselor yet.

“I think we’re a little too early,” Jennifer giggled as Nicole pulled up in her Mustang.

“Hey!” she called, “What the heck are you three doing up this early?”

“Nikki!” I practically squealed, racing over to meet her just as she stepped out of her car. She grinned and caught me in a hug, kissing me gently.

“You didn’t think I’d let you leave without saying goodbye did you?”

“Of course not, but we already said goodbye last night. Aren’t you supposed to be leaving for your rock camp?”

“My train leaves this afternoon, so I figured I’d come and help you herd the cats.” She reached back through her open window though, pulling out a piece of green cloth that she unfurled to reveal her new CIT t-shirt. She grinned and pulled it down over her black tank top. “Can’t forget this.”

Jennifer and Allison giggled, the latter adding, “It’s going to be weird without you there. But at least Rachel will be there for session two. And we promise not to luau without you.”

“You’d better not,” Nicole giggled. “You know I was thinking though, we need to think of something fun for the session one girls to do, like we’re doing with session two, for the ones that can’t do both.”

“I totally agree,” Jennifer answered, nodding. “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

“Yeah, me too,” Allison and I almost answered in perfect sync, which caused another round of giggling.

“Anybody have any ideas?” she asked.

“Hey, what about a Native American thing?” Jennifer asked. “I mean we’ve done Polynesian already. Maybe there’re some girls at camp who’re part of the Mohegan nation.”

“Jen, once again, you are a genius,” I giggled.

“I know it,” she answered, grinning. “There’s a little mini-museum room in the main lodge you know, dedicated to Mohegan culture, and I think the camp’s name means “People of the River”, but I could be mistaken.”

“Let’s talk to Meredith about it,” I finally concluded.

“Speaking of which, where is the Dragon?” Nicole teased. Jennifer giggled.

“We’re not sure. I think we got here too early. Let’s go check and see if the school’s unlocked. Maybe she had to use the bathroom or something.”

~oOo~

“It sounds pretty ambitious, girls,” Meredith remarked after hearing our thoughts, but she smiled. “But I believe I said the same about a certain group of girls planning a luau last year as well. I’ll need to approve any plans before you go forward like before though. Why not ask Counselor Dunham when we get to the camp?”

“Counselor Dunham?” Jennifer asked. Meredith smiled as she nodded.

“Yes, I believe her grandmother or great grandmother was Mohegan.”

“Awesome!” Allison cheered. “So with that out of the way, where do we start?”

“As soon as girls start arriving, I’d like you to start grouping them together alphabetically to start with, same as last year. A through F, G through N, and so on. Make sure they know that this isn’t their permanent seating arrangement. According to sign-up sheets we should have more than enough space on the three buses for everyone.”

“Sounds good,” Jennifer answered. “Robin, you take A through F with me. Ally, you want G through N?”

“Sure. That leaves Nikki with the rest, but let’s try and help each other out as much as we can. Are we expecting anymore CITs?”

“Tracy should be here soon,” Meredith answered, nodding. “And we have a few more from other district camps that you’ll be meeting once we get there.”

“Yay, more CITs. God it was a nightmare doing this alone last year,” Jennifer laughed.

Initially we stood around, but as the trickle of new arrivals turned into a flood, the four of us raced about in what could only be described as organized chaos, trying to get everyone together into the right groups for head-counts.

“SPIRIT!” I inevitably heard a familiar little lady calling. I turned around just in time to have my waist assaulted by Amanda. She giggled as I knelt to hug her.

“Hey you! I’m glad you decided to go back this year.”

She nodded excitedly, her little ringlet-laden ponytail bouncing vigorously in its ribbon. “Last year was so much fun thanks to you,” she bubbled, kissing my cheek. I blushed and hugged her again.

“Aw, I’m so glad. Listen, I need you to go over there with Ally for a minute so we can make sure you get counted, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied happily, skipping over to Allison’s side and hug-attacking her next. I had to laugh as I turned back to my head-counting.

Eventually, with Tracy and Meredith’s help, we loaded everyone onto the buses, leaving just me, Allison, and Jennifer standing outside our bus with Nicole. She smiled as the four of us hugged.

“Good luck guys. You’re gonna need it without me there,” she teased and winked playfully.

Jennifer laughed. “E ho'a'o no i pau kuhihewa, hey?”

Nicole stared blankly back at her. I giggled. “Hakuna matata.”

“Hey, she remembered!’ Jennifer practically cackled. “Anyway, we’ll give you two a moment alone.”

“Bye Nikki,” Allison added, waving as she followed Jennifer onto the bus. Nicole’s cheeks turned just slightly red as she turned back to me.

“Is it okay to kiss if I’m not officially going this time?”

“Oh that’s right. No PDAs,” I had to giggle. “Okay, how about this. When I get back, the first thing I’m going to do is pin you to a wall and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed before.”

Nicole started giggling now, pulling me into a hug as she kissed my cheek. “I’m going to hold you to that. Have a safe trip. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back. I love you.”

“I love you too. Give Moira a hug for me, okay? And have fun in New York.”

I couldn’t help feeling a little sad as I stepped onto the bus. I turned back to wave one last time, and Nicole smiled brightly, waving back at me.

“All set?” the driver asked, glancing at me. I wiped away a tear as I nodded.

“Yes sir. I’m the last one,” I answered, turning to walk down the aisle to the back of the bus. Jennifer smiled and hugged me as I sat.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered. I smiled back at her as I nodded.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just weird. We’ve never been apart the entire time we’ve been dating. I’ll be okay though.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Not like you two need any help,” Allison added with a broad smile. “But Jen’s right. We’ll be here to help you through if you need us.”

“I love you guys,” I offered as I settled back into my seat to relax. In the back of my mind, I admit I was hoping that camp would be everything I remembered. It wasn’t all great, but the camp experience made me the girl I was, and that had to count for something.