~* Epilogue *~ “Come back to me safe,” Nicole whispered in my ear. She tried to discretely kiss my cheek, but I cupped her face, kissing her square on the lips. “I love you, vampire.” I answered softly. She nearly broke down as she whispered, “I love you too cutie.”

---

True to her word, Zoey had a standing consultation waiting for me the very next Monday. Needless to say I was extremely nervous, but considering the surgeon was willing to fly all the way out to New Haven to meet with me helped a great deal, but I still found myself growing more and more nervous as I waited in the small examination room.

I was never comfortable talking about my body, and having to discuss these things with a complete stranger left me more and more anxious the longer I waited, until finally, when the door swung open, I nearly squealed.

A faint giggle followed from the other side as a woman in her early thirties with reddish skin, dressed in a beige top and black slacks with a white lab coat stepped inside. Her jet black hair showed only one or two gray strands that might have just been the way they reflected the overhead florescent lights.

“Didn’t mean to startle you,” she began, and smiled warmly back at me. “Robin, right?” she asked as she offered her hand. “I’m Doctor Elyse Palmer. You can call me ‘Lisa’ if you want.”

“Nice to meet you,” I answered softly as we shook hands.

“I imagine you have a lot of questions, so before we get started, is there anything specific you’d like me to address?”

“Lots of things, really,” I answered, again softly. I wished Mom could’ve been here. “Will I have to leave Connecticut for the procedure?”

“Well there are certain channels that I have to go through in order to do the procedure here, but I’m confident you’ll be approved, given your therapists’ strong recommendations on the subject.

“This isn’t a simple procedure by any means, and I won’t lie to you; recovery is going to be a slow, sometimes nerve-wracking process. Don’t take this the wrong way Robin, but Doctor Ketzowski is of the opinion, and frankly I agree with her, that given your age, and just how much of a life-changing experience this is going to be for you, that you’re better off here than if we dragged you halfway across the country.”

I had to smile a little at that. “My friends are all here, rooting for me. It wouldn’t be the same without them.”

“You’re lucky to have friends and family that support you,” she answered with a soft smile. “So many women go into this later in life. Well, anyway, I need to perform a complete physical so we can evaluate where you are health-wise, and then we’ll get into the other reason for this consultation, okay?”

I spent the rest of the week either at Ash’s and Mom’s, helping them around the house, at Ash’s dojo, or at Margie’s. I had to wait until Lisa called me before I could start making firm plans for anything involving recovery, but at least I’d be transferred to the hospital in Alpine Springs once the worst of that had passed.

Part of me wished I hadn’t talked Nicole into staying at camp. I really missed her, but being down a counselor, I figured they needed her more - which is why her return Wednesday surprised me.

I had been hanging out with Katelyn, catching up on missed music lessons that morning, and shortly after she left, as I went into the kitchen to cook myself some lunch, someone knocked at the front door.

“Just a minute,” I called, half-expecting either Margie or Carol. Nicole threw her arms around me, pressing her lips against mine even as I opened the door. I squealed with surprise and held her close, pulling her inside. She laughed, without breaking the kiss, as she bumped the door closed with her sneaker.

She nuzzled her forehead against mine and grinned as she whispered, “Gawd I missed you. I couldn’t stay away anymore so Jen and Ally promised to cover for me.”

“I missed you too. I want to say I was just thinking about you, but the truth is I’ve been thinking about you this whole time.”

“I never should’ve let you talk me into staying,” Nicole pouted. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, I wanted you to stay,” I answered as I cupped her face, kissing her pouting lips softly. “They needed you.”

“Not as much as you did. I can see it in your eyes. How did the consultation go?”

“Weird,” I whined, pulling her along with me to the living room sofa. She sat down beside me, waiting for me to continue. “Don’t get me wrong. Lisa, my surgeon, is super nice and everything. It’s just, there’s some things about post-op that Kelly forgot to tell me about.”

“Like what?” she asked innocently, and I shook my head.

“I really don’t want to talk about it. It’s too weird. I’ll do what I have to do, but...” I paused. I could feel my cheeks burning brightly, and Nicole giggled, kissing me again.

“Sweetie, you’re going to have to get used to not hating your body anymore. I know it’s going to take some getting used to, but you’re not a guy, and pretty soon you won’t even have the wrong parts to deal with anymore.”

“Nikki, about that, there’s something I never told you or anyone. Please don’t be mad, okay?” I practically begged. I could feel my hands shaking lightly in hers. She squeezed them then pulled me into a hug.

“Robin, whatever it is you know you can tell me, and I’ll never be mad. What’s on your mind?”

“They told me back when I started on hormones, that the longer I stayed on them, the harder it would be to ever go back. They said there’d come a point where I wouldn’t be able to have children even if I didn’t go through with surgery, and asked me if I wanted to freeze a sample of … you know, just in case.”

Nicole’s eyes lit up, and she pulled me close. We shared another passionate kiss, interrupted by her excited giggles.

“Oh my God. So does this mean I can still have a little Robin? I mean don’t get me wrong. I still want to adopt just like we talked about,” she gushed, practically glowing. “I never brought it up because I knew you were so uncomfortable with your own body that I didn’t want to press the subject and make you feel worse, but...”

“So you’re not mad?” I asked. I knew the answer, but I needed to hear it again. She giggled happily.

“Hell no I’m not mad! I just wish I could share the experience with you,” she trailed off, genuinely crestfallen in the knowledge that I could never carry a child myself. I shook my head though, and leaned closer to kiss her.

“Don’t be sad for me. This is more than I ever dreamed I’d have already. When we’re both ready, I’ll be by your side every step of the way, just like you’ve been with me. Just don’t tell anyone else for awhile. Not even Mom knows about this yet. I didn’t really know how to explain it to her.”

Nicole giggled as she ran her fingers through my hair. “I’m sure she’ll understand, but I won’t tell anyone.”

“Just relax,” Allison whispered as she leaned over my hospital bed to kiss my cheek. She had a firm grip on my hand, and Nicole held the other, as Jennifer, Sarah, and Katelyn stood close by. “We’ll be right here when you wake up, okay?”

I nodded and squeezed her hand as I kissed her cheek. “I’ll be okay. Kelly gave me something to calm my nerves so I’m feeling pretty good right now, actually,” I giggled.

“Oh lord, she’s so stoned,” Katelyn teased. Sarah giggled, swatting her arm lightly.

“Be nice!” she added.

I had to laugh, as Mom came back into the room. By now she had really started to show, but she wasn’t quite far enough along to completely give up her hospital duties for maternity leave just yet. In any case she had taken a few days off. “What are we all giggling about? Or do I want to know?” she half-chuckled.

“Ummmmm nothing,” I answered, trying hard to keep a straight face, though whatever they had injected me with made that a lost cause. I started to giggle again.

She shook her head slowly. “I swear if I wasn’t expecting I’d ask if they had any more of that stuff available.”

“Mother!” I balked, giggling a little.

“What?” she replied teasingly. “My baby’s having surgery. It’s my right as a mother to be worried sick.”

“I’ll be okay,” I answered as though I believed nothing could possibly go wrong, which was an ironic twist considering a few hours earlier, I was so nervous I literally ran to the bathroom to be sick. Twice.

She smiled at that. “I know. You’re strong. Sometimes I think you’re stronger than me,” she added as she bent down to hug me, kissing my forehead.

“Alright, Robin,” one of the nurses on-duty called warmly as she entered the room. “It’s time to move you. I’m afraid we can only allow family in recovery, but the rest of you are welcome to wait in the waiting room, and Doctor Palmer will come and talk to you when she’s out of surgery.”

“Come back to me safe,” Nicole whispered in my ear. She tried to discretely kiss my cheek, but I cupped her face, kissing her square on the lips.

“I love you, vampire.” I answered softly.

She nearly broke down as she whispered, “I love you too cutie.”

As I was being moved out of the room, I thought I caught a glimpse of Sarah’s cousin Faith out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned to say hello to her, she was gone. I shrugged lightly and stared up at the ceiling. The nurse directly behind me smiled as she looked down.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Excited,” I murmered, “But sooo sleepy.”

She giggled quietly. “Yeah, I thought you would be. You can go to sleep if you want.”

She said that as though my eyelids would give me a choice. Between the relaxant in my system and the gentle rocking of the bed, I didn’t even wake up when they brought me into the operating room.

I had the most wonderful, disturbing dreams. I danced with my dead father at Nicole’s and my wedding, I took our unborn daughter fishing at the small stream behind Margie’s house, and for some reason, went truffle hunting with an orangutan named Jim.

The next thing I remembered, I had the strangest sensation of cool, fresh air rushing into my lungs. I inhaled sharply and coughed, which apparently startled the nurse sitting next to me. I heard a chair squeak, and her voice distantly calling my name.

“Robin, sweetie?” she asked. Her voice sounded like she was in a large, faraway cave.

“Nnnh. Put down the shovel... use your hands to dig,” I mumbled.

“Robin, can you hear me?” she asked, this time less distorted.

“Mmm?” I answered softly. “You’re in recovery sweetie. How do you feel?”

“Numb,” I answered. “And sleeeeeepy.”

She giggled a little. “We’re going to keep you here for a little while. Are you breathing okay?”

“Mmmmmhmmm. Smells nice,” I answered simply as I shut my eyes again. “Kind of thirsty.”

“Can we give her some ice?” I heard Mom ask from the other side.

“That’s what I was thinking,” the nurse answered, but I had already begun to tune them out.

Even the sudden shock of a small ice cube against my parched lips barely affected me. I took it between my teeth and crunched it once, sucking on the smaller fragments, even as I drifted off to sleep again. In retrospect, I wondered just how much pain medication they had me on, but I wouldn’t complain.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Nicole cooed softly as I felt myself returning to the land of the living again. At first everything was a blur, except for the pain in my lower region. That was quite real. I groaned softly.

“Are you in pain?” Allison asked next. “I’ll go find a nurse.”

“Linda should be back in a second,” Nicole added as she squeezed my hand. “Robin? Hey,” she whispered warmly as I turned to look at her. I smiled a little, despite the pain.

“Hi there,” I managed weakly. “How long was I out?”

“You’ve been asleep since you got out of recovery yesterday, around three, and it’s noon. That must’ve been some good stuff they had you on,” she teased, and kissed my forehead.

I laughed, then cringed. “Oh God, don’t make me giggle,” I teased, reaching out to touch her face just as Dr. Palmer entered.

“Hi Robin,” she greeted me warmly. “Your friend Allison said you’re in pain. Is it severe?”

“No,” I responded, shaking my head. “I mean it’s definitely there, but it’s not super bad.”

“We’ve been easing you off the pain medication. We might have stepped the dosage down too soon. Hang on just a second, okay?” she commented, then stepped out as Mom returned.

“Robin, you’re awake!” she practically cheered as she hurried to my bedside. She bent down to kiss my forehead. “Are you alright?”

“Hurts, but Lisa went to get something for it. I’m so hungry,” I whined. “I’d give anything for a cheeseburger.”

Nicole giggled, shaking her head. “No cheeseburger for you yet. But I promise I won’t eat anything but hospital food until they let you out.”

“Why poison us both?” I teased, trying not to laugh at the playful glare from my mother.

“Young lady, I’ll have you know hospital food is quite healthy.” She paused to smile. “It just tastes like foam rubber.”

Lisa chuckled quietly as she returned, and began setting up a new drip in my IV. “They say laughter’s the best medicine, and I happen to agree. This will take a minute to take effect, so just bear with me a little longer, okay?”

I nodded. “How did it go?” I asked, trying to focus on something else.

“Really well. I think once the swelling subsides, you’ll be very happy with the results. There might be some internal scar tissue for awhile, but with a little luck and some patience, no one but your doctors or your partner will ever know you had anything done..

“You’re going to have to take it easy for awhile though. I went over the recovery process with you the other day, but before we transfer you to Alpine Springs in a few days, I’ll go over everything again in private. I want to be sure you’re well on your way to healing before I let you out of my care.”

“Thank you Doctor Palmer,” Mom replied softly. Lisa smiled back at her.

“It’s my pleasure. I know how I’d feel if it were my daughter. I’d want her doctors to be doing everything they can to give her as normal a life as possible.”

I smiled up at her at that. “I’d like Nikki to be here when you go over the recovery stuff again, Lisa. It... It would make dealing with it a lot easier.”

“Well, it’s highly unusual, but if you’re okay with that, Nikki?” she asked, glancing at Nicole, who nodded without hesitation.

“Absolutely. Whatever it takes to help her.”

“What’re we talking about?” Allison asked as she returned, sipping a tall soda. She blushed, quickly covering her mouth.

“Oh, hi Doctor. I didn’t realize you were still here. Um, just pretend I didn’t say anything.”

Nicole and I both giggled. “It’s okay Ally,” I answered. “Just more recovery stuff. Do me a favor, though. Next time you see Kelly, give her arm a frog for me. I won’t be strong enough for awhile.”

Allison giggled. “Um, sure. But why?”

“She’ll know why,” I replied, laying my head back as the pain medication began to kick in, and smiled. “So when can I eat?”

By the end of July, though I was still technically recovering, I could at least get out of bed and get around. It felt weird having Allison practically waiting on me hand and foot all the time, but between her, Nicole, and at least a daily visit from Jennifer, I certainly stayed busy, and never felt lonely or bored.

During the worst of my downtime we played cards together or board games, watched DVDs, or Allison played her guitar for me, and helped me litter box train the newest addition to my family, an adorable orange tabby kitten I had dubbed Sunny.

During that time Allison had gotten a new pet rabbit that she named ‘Bunny’, and Sunny and Bunny became fast friends, not to mention hours of entertainment playing on the living room floor together while we hung out.

That day though, I had to ask Allison to kitty-sit for me. I wanted to do some research on abandoned buildings around Alpine Springs for our big Halloween plans this year.

“Hey, Robin check this out,” Nicole excitedly called as she rushed over, carrying a heavy leather tome that bore in gold lettering the simple yet ominous title, ‘Connecticut Hauntings’.

“Closed in the 1970s, the Alpine Springs Sanatorium is rumored to be one of the most haunted locations in Connecticut. Stories of savage mistreatment of patients by staff, including but not limited to forced lobotomies, extractions of entire sets of teeth without any anaesthetic, and later, brutal overuse of electroshock therapy persisted until the day it closed.”

For the first time since I’d known her, row upon row of goosebumps absolutely engulfed her flesh. She shuddered.

“I didn’t even know there was an asylum here,” I finally broke the uneasy silence. She nodded.

“Yeah, according to this, Alpine Springs used to be far enough from New Haven to be considered a fitting place to house patients. But can you imagine? If we could find out who owns that place, get their permission to clean it up, it would be the perfect spot!”

“I dunno. It sounds kind of creepy,” I reluctantly answered, but she smiled and kissed my lips.

“That’s the whole point though. It’s supposed to scare the crap out of people.”

I giggled a little at that. “Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point. How do we find out who owns it though?”

“Good question. Let’s figure it out over lunch? My treat?”

“You bought last time,” I teased as I stood. “Let me take you out for pizza.”

“Ooh, pizza sounds great. Okay, you talked me into it. Lemme just go check this book out.”

“Oh, hi guys!” Bethany, the perky little tie-dyed birdwatcher I had met earlier in the summer cheered happily as she approached our table as Nicole set her library book aside. Rather than a headband though, her beautiful locks had been pulled into a tight ponytail, held in place with a purple and white tie-dyed scrunchie, matching her dark purple t-shirt and white shorts.

“Hey there. Bethany right?” I asked. She giggled, nodding happily. “You remember!”

Nicole slowly glanced between the two of us. “You guys know each other?”

Bethany giggled. “I bumped into Robin awhile ago.” She smiled brightly at me. “You’re looking a LOT happier than when I last saw you.”

Glancing at Nicole, I giggled a little. “Yeah, my friend Sarah was in the hospital at the time so I was pretty upset that day.” I half-lied. It was true, but I had another reason for being much happier too! “You here with your parents?” I asked, changing the subject.

Bethany giggled, shaking her head. “Naw, I’m here alone, but I’m meeting some people here.”

As if on cue, an older girl and a cute - for a guy I mean - guy approached us. The girl spoke up first. “Hey, there you are, squirt.”

“Don’t call me squirt!” Bethany shot back, but smiled up at her. “Oh, guys this is Robin and …” she trailed off, staring expectantly at Nicole.

“Nikki,” Nicole answered.

“This is Kris and that’s Marry. They sort of adopted me awhile ago.”

Kris tilted his head, glancing at the open library book. “You’re interested in the old asylum?” he asked. Marry reached into her pocket, producing a folded wad of bills and slipped them to Bethany.

“Hey, go get us a large pizza? You can pick the toppings - just no marshmallows this time,” she added matter-of-factly, causing Bethany to giggle as she bounded off with the money.

Nicole quickly nodded. “Yeah. Just looking at what went on there literally gives me goosebumps.”

“It does. I’ve never seen anything do that to her,” I added. Kris and Marry sat down across from us as I continued. “We’re senior members of a local Girl Scout troop. Since we’re some of the oldest members we’re always looking for new ideas and activities to get the younger girls involved in the community.”

Nicole giggled. “So our friend Ally came up with this idea to do a haunted house for Halloween this year. I came across this story about the old asylum, and it sounds perfect.”

Marry cleared her throat. “Um, not to be disrespectful, but that’s not ‘just’ a story. The stuff you’ve heard, the cruelty to patients? That’s all true.”

Kris nodded, running his hand absently through his hair. “She’s right. Marry and I had relatives that were locked up there.”

“Oh my God,” Nicole and I both responded in unison. “I’m sorry. So what happened to it? Is it still there? Do you think the owners would let us use it if we promised to clean it up?”

Marry chuckled lightly, as she and Kris exchanged an almost sibling-like glance before answering. “We are the owners. After it closed down, the property went into foreclosure. Knowing the history, our families chipped in to buy it. Nobody ever did anything with it, but we like to hang out there sometimes. So yes, you can use it.”

Bethany seemed to pop up out of nowhere, causing Marry to jump. “Hey, you guys like anchovies right?”

Kris groaned, tousling Bethany’s hair and causing her to squeal lightly. “You’re joking right?”

“Maaaybe. Anyway, it’ll be out in a minute.”

“Cool,” Marry answered, turning back to us as they stood. “Anyway we’ll let you enjoy your meal in peace, but if you guys want to check out the old asylum after lunch, we’ll be glad to give you a tour.”

Kris added, “It’s structurally sound. It won’t fall on your heads or anything. It just needs some of the more dangerous stuff - old rusty beds and things, taken care of.”

“Awesome,” Nicole cheered, raising her soda in toast. “We’ll get with the other scouts and let them know we found a place. I want to preserve as much creepiness as possible, but someone getting hurt would kinda spoil the fun. Is there a number we can reach you guys at?”

“Sure,” Marry answered as she took a pen from her small handbag. Taking my hand, she scribbled a phone number on my palm, which caused Bethany to giggle, rolling her eyes at us. “That’s my cell. Just call me anytime and I’ll drag Kris out to meet you guys.”

As the three left to collect their pizza, I pulled out my iPhone, programming in Marry’s number before pizza grease could smudge it. “This is so cool.”

“I know,” Nicole giggled. “I didn’t think I’d be able to top Heedless Despair last year, but a haunted house in a real haunted asylum? Hot damn.”.

While I had my phone out, I punched in Allison’s number. “Ally! Hey, you’re never going to guess what just happened. We found the perfect place for the haunted house, and the owners have okayed it. Do you know anything about the old Alpine Springs asylum?”

I had to pull the phone away from my ear at Allison’s ecstatic squeal.

I mentioned before that Mom was starting to really show. She was only about five months pregnant, but had long become accustomed to the return of morning sickness, swollen ankles, a sizable increase in belly mass, and of course, a certain unmistakable motherly glow. It wouldn’t be until October or November until my new sibling arrived, but Mom’s ultrasound would hopefully tell us if it was a boy or a girl.

I had never been more excited to see Mom’s car in the driveway as I was that day. Nicole had to catch me by the arm to keep me from running, even though my body had healed remarkably well since my surgery. I still had some tenderness, but nothing like when I first woke up the day after.

“Mom?” I called as we stepped in the house.

“In here honey,” Mom replied from the kitchen. She sounded a little too quiet. Nicole and I looked at each other for only a moment, exchanging one of those ‘Expect the worst’ glances. We found her sitting at the kitchen table with Margie and Dad. She looked over at me and smiled. “Hi sweetheart. How was your day?”

“Oh, you know, same old same old. We made our first sweep on the old asylum today to see what we can do with it.” I tried not to sound concerned, but I had to ask. “How did the ultrasound go?”

Mom motioned for me to sit down. Nicole and I took chairs across from each other, me next to Dad and her next to Margie, waiting expectantly.

“The good news is, there aren’t any detectable birth defects in the fetuses.”

“Fetuses. Plural?” I asked.

She smiled, nearly giggling. “Twins.”

“Oh my God!” Nicole and I both squealed in unison. Margie cringed, laughing. “There’s still some bad news though.”

Mom quickly nodded, still giggling. “Yes, with my medical history there’s an increased risk of complications. What that means is I have to start taking it easy before long, keeping my blood pressure down, continuing to eat healthy and mild aerobic exercise like walking. I still might need to have a c-section done if natural birth would put their lives at risk, but there’s no need to worry right now.”

“So why were you being so quiet when I came in? You had me scared half to death!” I teased..

“We were discussing finances, and how in the world we’d be able to handle twins. Oh, if you were wondering, they’re fraternal, a boy and a girl.”

“Oh my God,” I giggled. “That’s so cool Mom. I’m so happy for you.”

I stood, walking past Dad to bend down and hug her. “And don’t worry about finances. I still have my trust fund so you won’t have to worry about me. You can focus on the babies, and you know Ally, Jenn, Nikki or me will be happy to babysit.”

“Or me,” Margie added with a giggle.

“I’m sure we’ll work it all out,” Dad finally added. “If worst comes to worst, I was a bachelor for years, remember. I have a tidy nestegg portfolio I can tap into, and the dojo is still doing well. You just worry about staying healthy.” He smiled as he squeezed Mom’s hand. The look of love in their eyes for each other, the same look they had on their wedding day, reminded me so much of Nicole and myself, I just had to walk over to pull her into a hug.

“I guess this means we have more work to do on the nursery,” I teased. She giggled.

“Oh, I don’t think so. Doctor’s orders were for you not to do anything strenuous for at least six weeks, and I’m going to make sure you hold to that.”

“But-” was as far as I could get before she kissed me.

“Nope,” she answered. “I need to run home for a minute. You want to come with, or stay here?”

“I’ll come with you,” I answered after a moment or two of thought. “But you’re coming back home with me after. I want to celebrate, and thanks to your dad, I know plenty of heart-healthy recipes now,” I replied, shooting Mom a grin.

“Oh no,” Mom laughed.

“Oh yes,” I shot back. “Salt-free is the way to be. Or something like that.”

I squeezed Nicole’s hand as we walked together back to her Mustang. I still had school to think about yet. In a couple of weeks I’d start training for cheer with Alice, and I also needed to find a way to assure the school board that yes, I could shower with my teammates now. I wouldn’t pose a risk to anyone, any more than any other girl, that I had finally become Robin, completely and truly.

But for now? I knew it. My friends knew it, and my family knew it, and that was good enough for me. I was still in a transitional phase, learning to let go of old self-hatred, accepting my body, learning to love myself completely, but I no longer had anything to hide, or to fear.

“Ready?” Nicole asked as I stared off into space. I jumped slightly, giggled, and pulled my seatbelt into place.

“Sorry, I’m ready. I was just thinking.”

“About?” she asked, as we pulled out of the driveway. I grinned broadly back at her, leaned over, and kissed her cheek.

“How awesome our future’s going to be.”