This is a tribute, a remembrance, a lament...to the best man I ever knew, the best human being, my secret love.

He was taken from us...from me, several years ago, but he still lives in my heart and my memories. He knew how I felt, but we could never let on to anyone else. He never did.

I really don't care how any of this is taken by anyone, but as emotional as I have been for the last few days, I HAD to get this out of me for my sanity's sake.

To Mikey, my secret love, my hero, my heart.

I'm missing you tonite...
lying here looking up at the stars.

Nancy helps Sandy start the journey to self-understanding.

Photo by Wilson Vitorino from Pexels
 

Part 23 of 29

Monday, October 14, 2013
Last day at camp, sort of bittersweet. We got up much later than yesterday and not a few of the girls were moaning about the amount of wine that they drank the night before. The phrase 'wine is a mocker' - in my father's voice, naturally - ran through my head but I wisely kept it between my ears.

 

Part 22 of 29

Saturday, October 12, 2013
Well, actually I'm writing very early Sunday morning in the communal kitchen so I don't disturb any of my fellow campers. And why am I up early on a Sunday morning? Simple: My fellow campers may be beacons of femininity by day, but they snore like longshoreman during the night. Not that I've personally been able to listen to a longshoreman snore, mind you, but there must be some truth to the old saw or nobody would have started sawing with it.

 

Part 21 of 29

Monday, September 9, 2013
Much food for thought in Psychology today. Only the second class and my head is spinning. The prof dug right in with personality types. The old Greeks decided there were four: choleric, melancholic, sanguine, and phlegmatic. Meyers-Briggs thinks there are sixteen. Other people throw other numbers into the pot. Kind of like a lottery but nobody is a clear winner.

 

Part 18 of 29

Wednesday, September 4, 2013 (continued)
All of my musing on the past is how I started my day. Because of my late enrollment, the only English Literature class with any openings occurred at eight o'clock on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Since Monday was Labor Day, school started on Wednesday. Thus I began my day wandering around campus lost and confused. Over the summer I had gotten used to the library's more civilized hours, opening at ten. I had to get up before the sun in order to shower, dress and ride the bus.

 

Part 17 of 29

Monday, September 2, 2013
Labor day. Time for the big parade.

We were up early to get ready for the parade. The living room was full of boxes and hangers containing the costumes when my fellow workers arrived promptly at 8:00 AM to get dressed. Jenny and Beth from the library were part of the group, as well as Audrey.

In this chapter, our hero deals with detention, decides on a gender, and gets a chance to turn a dream into reality.

 

Part 14 of 29

Saturday, August 10, 2013
The three weeks are up! Well, close enough. This morning I took my starter earrings out of my ears (that turned out to need a pair of pliers, the things seemed to be welded together) and wore a new pair. I had gotten a special pair for the occasion, with a rainbow of small stones dangling from fine silver chains. Outrageous Earrings, Mary Ann calls them. I suppose they are, but I really like them. It's fantastic to feel the little jewels on my neck and I just love seeing them in the mirror. On me!

 

Part 13 of 29

Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Is it genetic? Why can't women leave the phone ringing when there is something else going on? It's not like we don't have an answering machine that we can check later. I have no trouble letting the thing ring if I am doing something important.

 

Part 11 of 29

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
My new glasses are in. They look just as cool as I hoped they would, very feminine. I did get one of those hanger things and I get a kick of having my glasses bounce off my breasts when I take them off.

Angel is easily amused, sometimes.

 

Part 9 of 29

Sunday, July 14, 2013
I'm getting better at cooking. Today I did a traditional Sunday dinner, naturally with Mary Ann's help, but I planned the menu, went shopping for the ingredients and found the recipes. We had roast ham with those pineapple slices and cherries pinned all over it - it looks pretty cool that way and isn't any real trouble to do. I think it looked just as good as the picture in the cookbook once I put it on the table.

“No peeking!” Kayla admonishes me as I enter her bedroom.

“What, I’m not allowed to see my girlfriend naked?” I tease, smiling as Kayla giggles and tosses a ball of scrunched-up wrapping paper at me.

“I’M not naked,” Kayla retorts.

“D’aww,” I pout, earning another giggle.

“Your presents, on the other hand, are!” Kayla yells as she jumps off her bed and closes the door- though not before giving me a gentle kiss. I giggle as I leave my girlfriend be and return to the living room, though inside, my nerves are jangling for multiple reasons.

 

Part 6 of 29

Wednesday, July 3
Nothing much to write about lately. Since last Friday night I know that Grandpa and Eve are comfortable with me dressed up so I haven't been watching the clock and changing before they get home. It feels like family, even more so than my own family. I love Mom and Dad, and even my little sister, and they love me, but there is a wonderful feeling of acceptance here. I don't have to watch myself to avoid a lecture on God's will if I do something Dad doesn't approve of.

Egypt, Eight Years Ago, Newly Discovered Archaeological Dig:
“Bart, tell me again why we are out here checking this site out?” Casey couldn’t see how this had anything to do with the CIA or National Security.

“The boys at Langley intercepted a message saying that an unusual artifact of unknown origin had been found.” Bart Hardy hated being out in the desert at night.

 

Part 3 of 29

Sunday, June 16
What a day! Mary Ann is showering and I have a few minutes by myself to write. I feel like Alice after she fell through the looking glass, things are getting curiouser and curiouser indeed!

 

Part 2 of 29

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I couldn't stand it. I have been dreaming about Mary Ann's bra every night since Sunday. I just couldn't get the fantasy of wearing her bra out of my mind no matter how I tried. Tonight I dug through the hamper and found one of Mom's bras. It isn't anywhere near as sexy as Mary Ann's, in fact it's just plain plain! I made damn sure no one was around and took it back to my room and tried it on. Well, I tried to try it on - How do girls snap these things behind their backs? I sure couldn't do it!

In this chapter, our hero learns about restroom rules, bravely selects what to eat for lunch, and joins his first SIGL meeting.

 

Part 1 of 29

Author's Note
An earlier version of this story was posted in 2009. A while back my Muse decided I needed to let Angel finish telling her story. After listening to her I have revised and substantially added to her story. As a valued member of the Liar's Club, she is pretty good at telling a tale.

Arctic Fox

Chapter 7

January 7, 2021

“Hi, Darryl,” the girl said when she let him in. “You must be freezing. You want something warm to drink?”

“Sure, Michelle.”

“Why don’t you go on into the living room? There’s a fire going, and I’ll get some coffee for you.”

“Sounds great!” Darryl agreed enthusiastically.