Autobiographical

Happy Dance Time

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I am overjoyed! Yesterday I had a Cardiac PET Scan Stress Test and they just called me to tell me that my cardiac arteries both large and small are in great shape and if you knew my heart history for the past 15 yrs you would be amazed too. No results on Echo-cardiogram or Carotid Ultrasound till 11/5 but that is good news in and of itself. If there were bad things she would have me in sooner.

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End of the line

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I just posted the last of God Bless the Child and published Unreachable. That is going to be it for me. It has been a great ride. I had some laughs, shed some tears, but I'm really not cut out to be an author. I don't have what it takes and it has become obvious. There is a certain level of attention to detail to produce a good story, and I don't have that ability. It is more than just not getting reads and comments and kudos and reviews.

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Wonder what is going on?

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Usually, I actually am reasonably pleasant woman at peace with myself and life. Oh, I have my moments but they are few and far between. Today, every time I've encountered even mildly abusive stuff in my reading it has triggered my inner Mama Bear and trust me that is scary.
Something is going on but experience has taught me that attempting to "figure it out" is fruitless. Best I sit quietly with the feeling and allow it to become clear in its own time.

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Never thought this would happen

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So how do I begin this one. I guess I'll start out by saying my transition is going well. If anyone wants a link to my Transition log or E-log as I like to call it, feel free to PM me and I'll see about sending you a link to it. but anyways I digress, This past week I took adive off the deep end. in a matter of speaking. The past week, I met this guy in my reading class who asked for my number to do a study group session. later that week I got a text asking if I wanted to go out. At first, naturally I was scared. I hadn't been on a date in years.

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Survivor?

I wasn't really ready for this when I found it on Facebook, but I think it needs to be widely shared and read. The author has done what I never could do, and expressed it well.

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Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

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Well, today is Canadian Thanksgiving, and has become tradition, I will list some of the things I'm thankful for:

For Kyile: Because she has become something precious to me.

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Bad week, Inauthentic day

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Well, today didn't go according to plan.

I was supposed to have a day with my daughter, but instead I ended up tagging along behind her and my ex as they walked around a local mall.

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trans people as horror villains

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Here is an interesting article about the use of trans people as horror movie villains

http://www.autostraddle.com/whos-afraid-of-the-big-bad-trans...

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That money grabbing GATES chap....

... seems to finaly have got his way and is going to get more money out of us!!!!

As of 'APRIL 08 2014' Microshaft is widrawing support for WINDOWS XP

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I've never felt more pretty

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well, I went to church in my LBD again, and my braids, and felt wonderful. Then I went to a local mall and found a make-up counter, and got a bit of a makeover. I dont think I've ever looked this pretty ...

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Anyone here with heavy Psych background ...

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I was wondering if there was someone here with a strong psychology background that could read a 34 page Facebook journal for me and give me their assessment. I think that someone has an adjustment disorder, and is possibly obsessive but am unsure about how to proceed.

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I find myself wishing I could go out this Halloween

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I have said here before that for most of my life I hated Halloween. I always felt like I couldnt go out as a girl because I might cause people to wonder about my masculinity, or rather my lack of the same.

But now, for some reason, I find myself wishing I could afford a costume and knew of a good adult Halloween party I could go to. But, lack of money, and lack of somewhere safe I could go means I will be on the sidelines when for the first time I actually want to be the game ...

ah, well.

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Off to ComicFest

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I'm going to spend three days in San Diego, hobnobbing with some of my friends in the comics industry at a small con out in Mission Valley called ComicFest. I'll have WiFi, laptop, phone and tablet so I should be able to get online frequently and check in. Have a swell time. :)

Hugs,
Erin

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Dear Diary-Life's Changes Happen And Now I Know Why

I understand that my body is changing. I did not ask for it to change, it is happening anyways. My testosterone levels have been dropping for about ten years now (I'll be 57 in 2 months) and that is normal. But since my wife died 7 years ago I have not slept well. I usually get 3-5 hrs of sleep, in the past few months it's more like 3-6 hrs. Rarely do I sleep more than 6 hrs. I recently investigated the causes of low testosterone in men and found that age 40+ the levels decrease, this is natural.

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I'm back!

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Well, I was discharged yesterday (Weds 12th), a process that took all afternoon. I'm home and attempting to pick up the pieces of life again.

I'll draw a veil over the hospital experience since a lot of you have been there and done that. I'm just glad I wasn't as badly off as some of the other poor sods on my ward.

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I'm alright...

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Cat scan found no cats, colonoscopy found no punctuation marks, blood test shows lower sugar, eye test shows beginning cataracts but again, sadly no other cats than the two who already own our home. Back brace helps but my day was sponsored by the letter L and the number 7. But.... I know who I am and how much of Andrea remains a vital part of me.... so......

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I am Back, .... And my cat is dieing

Thank to the work of Joyce and Erin of One of the best sites on the Internet.

I have obviously been able to finally after a 1/2 year of not being able to sign-in, sign in again.

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New Novel Update

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As some of you may or may not know, I've been working extremely hard on the next great trans novel. It is a good story, about a middle school teacher and a troubled student with a panache for misbehaving. They butt heads in the beginning of the book until the teacher realizes the kid is harboring a secret and his tough guy image is just a facade to keep people from finding out the truth about him.

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Fair wabbit

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I had loads I could have done today, from mowing grass to doing laundry to riding my bike. I was too tired or lazy to do any of them. I didn't even get dressed but have sat about in my nightdress all day reading Snafu - I'd quite like to do another chapter of that if I can find the energy and I'm quite pleased with some of the earlier chapters.

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OddPOV is gone.

The name Wendy is taken, so I added my middle name on my user ID also. OddPOV is now Wendy Jean. I'm still a very odd person, but I have found I was not as different as I once thought I was. It was lonely thinking you were a pervert that had to hide for over 40 years. I now know I am neither a pervert or alone. I am me, and I am how I was made by God.

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The Family Girl #067: In Remembrance

       
The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #67: In Remembrance

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

As many of you know, Holly Hart passed away recently. 40 days ago, to be exact.

I don't really know about others, but among traditional Catholics, we usually hold a requiem mass forty days after a loved one's passing. I was not a relative of Holly's IRL, so I did not think it proper to arrange for such a mass. So all I did was to include Holly's name (both as Holly Logan and Holly Hart) in the list of mass intentions for yesterday's regular service (people can ask a priest to offer a Mass for several reasons, like for example, in thanksgiving, for the intentions of someone else, like a birthday, or for the repose of the soul of someone who has died).

I am not a "real" relative, nor do I think Holly was Catholic, nor particularly religious. I guess this is more for me more than anything, to declare my wishes for her, and to declare my sadness that she's gone.

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I dont make sense?

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One of the harder parts of this transition is trying to drown out the negative "voices", basically telling me "you have the body of a male, how can you be a girl? How are you ever going to be sure you're not just fooling yourself?"

Thankfully, the conversations I have had with my mom about how I would slip up and act like a girl even before I got raped are helping me.

Bit by bit, day by day, I think I'm getting better.

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My last post on Big Closet

This will be my last post as OddPOV. I am updating my user name to match my new self, it will be some variation of Wendy. We tell our loved ones we don't change to comfort them with our new selves. The core remains, the soul if you will, but the fact is we do change, a lot. I have.

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Wheee~ Life rules~

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Welp. my life is going great again. I've moved out. Moved in with my room mate MJ, and we get along great. I'm living full time as a girl everywhere I go. Dad's not holding me back. and I'm moving forward with my life.
I've decided to pursue my writing degree, and try and study abroad in japan, for an added experience in another language. just to help myself understand other parts of the world a little bit better.

So yeah. my life is getting great. Yay me~

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Just a drable

Just a little drable, that takes its birth under my fingers:

Today I feel so lonely,
so lonely I could die,
where are you, where?
I need you, to feel you,
hug me my friend, I miss you.

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The Family Girl #066: Sleepy Girl

The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #66: Sleepy Girl

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl

Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

It's about one AM, Saturday here. Moe and I landed in Manila International an hour ago. We got through customs super-fast (compared to DC), and are staying in the passenger lounge until our ride arrives. Manny is extremely late. I called him and he explained that no one told him we were arriving tonight much less the time of our flight's arrival. Hmmm. Someone dropped the ball there. Will investigate on Monday.

Ah well. Manny said he's at least an hour away. That's okay - gives me time to post this.

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A diagnosis!

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I have been given a diagnosis (such as it is ) of vasculitis. The consultant was sufficiently concerned that they wanted to admit me as an in-patient yesterday but there was no bed. I am going in this afternoon, so will be AFK for a few days.

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The Family Girl #065: Flying... Again... Bleah...

The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #65: Flying... Again... Bleah...

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Hello, everyone. Just wanted to let you know, I am back in BigCloset now. But I'm going to be flying in a while so haveta keep this short. Again. Moe n I are flying back to Manila - me to get back to my job, n Moe to resume her little enterprise.

I fly so much, I think I should have a stylized red 'S' on my chest. lolz.

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You're probably sick or reading autobiographical works by me

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you might be sick of reading autobiographical stories by me, but I have an idea for at least one more.

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