I'm starting to doubt that in my lifetime lgbt equal rights will be a reality. With the stranglehold that conservatives have on the court system, recent Supreme Court decision striking down the voting rights act in defiance of the 15th amendment, a pro marriage equality ruling which is only a small step towards equal rights seems increasingly unlikely. The conservative stranglehold in congress means ENDA has no chance of passing the house, and that is only for employement.

I know many people would not understand me, nor could they even relate... I'll be getting many complaints, jealousy if not even downright hate.

saw my gender doc today, and after it was over I went downtown on a whim. There was a festival called "The works" going on, which is a celebration of visual arts, and while I wondered around, I saw a big burly guy wearing a skirt. Nothing else was even slightly feminine, he wore socks and heavy shoes, a normal guy's shirt, and he had a beard (and hairy legs). I just wondered why the skirt. What message is he trying to send? "look at me, I'm different"? or is it "I'm such a manly man, I can look manly in a skirt"?

Too bad I was too much a chicken to ask ....

I started having pain in my breasts last night, probably meaning that I am about have a growth spurt. As much as I am happy to get a little closer to leaving the itty bitty titty committee, this is painful ...

Well, my brother has made some moves toward us moving past some of the hurts from the past. It all started when I sent him a message thanking him for coming to my poetry reading, and I talked about something he had mentioned at the time, that he felt like he was mourning the death of his brother Todd. I said that if you want to think of it that way, Todd laid down his life so I could live, so he was a hero.

Sometimes, I dont get me at all. I'm feeling really happy, but I have just finished writing my 2nd really dark story in row .....

Well, last night I had an interesting dream. I was taken to a busy street corner, and asked to deliver a package that had a towel, a facecloth, and a hand towel. The challenge was, I was naked.

I wanted to thank everyone who responded to the other blog. That's one thing so wonderful about this site is how supportive we are with one another. While other sites try to tear others down, we are building each other up.

I am in a little bit better mindset. Felix and I are brainstorming things we can do at home to help. I may do one of those kickstarter promotions in order to get the piece of exercise equipment I need (I find that I don't lose weight with just dieting and I don't live in a neighborhood where I can simply walk around without being accosted.)

There is something standing in the way of me truly being happy and that is my fear, or phobia, of happiness.

Which involved some walking there and back, plus a bike ride this morning against a strong wind. So, I'm just starting to scribble tonight's Bike, if I can stay awake.

Well, I've just spent the last 6 days working hard to move. But we got it all done and just got home about 30 min. ago. I'm exhausted and started getting dehydrated, so we stopped and got some drink on the way home. I ache all over from my neck all the way to the bottom of my feet (my feet normally hurt due to my disability). My daughter was a big help and she's been sick since yesterday. But thank God, we are now done.

Tomorrow will be a day of rest and starting to recover. :)

I hope you all are doing well. :)

Hugs,
Mark <3

Well, Jaci phoned me today, and she's doing okay. She's had her surgery, and other than being in pain, she's in good spirits, and Ruth is there helping her out.

(Dottie does a happy dance.....)

Irrational fears. We listen to them all the time, they are fears we cant get past. Fears that keep us back afraid, fears that have the power to paralyze us from acting. These fears kept me in hiding for thirty-three years. I was so afraid that my world would come crumbling down I hid, terrified of loss.

well, my reading of my poem at church went well. A number of people came up afterward to tell me they were moved by it, and as a bonus, my brother was there and I think he liked it too. Much yayness!

What happened was that a long time ago someone on this site told me they had xbox live as well so I invited them to play with me and my friends. Things were normal for a while, one of my best friends has 2 friends he grew up with that don't like me because of my aspergers. Well I invited this person to join me and my friend Justin. Well since Justin's friends mike and Justin didn't like me I understood Justin not inviting me to the group but not the person on this site.

Well, Jaci is on her way to Montreal to have her surgery done. If you feel so inclined, could you spare a moment to say a prayer or send some positive vibes on her behalf?

A few weeks ago I posted a blog about my pussycat Madeline. I was almost doing it daily and didn't have the heart to keep on disappointing people day after day. For a month it looked like there was nothing left to do but to put her down. The medicine I was given didn't work and all she did was stay on the bed, immobile for hours on end unless I brought her to her food, which she barely touched.

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #59: Identity Theft! To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

A little while ago (June 5, 10:58pm eastern) I got an e-mail from Laika. From out of the blue, actually.

Her e-mail was a little funny - it didn't have a subject-title, it was also sent to four other people that I didn't know (who is DALENEK1 anyway), and the e-mail's content was just a hotlink to an ad about a raspberry diet supplement.

And a few minutes after that, my iPad started asking me to re-confirm/re-enter the passowords for my other e-mail profiles. Hmmm... that's funny. Anyway, I didn't, and nothing bad happened when I didn't re-enter the passwords... Hmmm...

I cannot therefore help but think that Laika and I were being spoofed.

The last couple of days have given me a chance to practice my social skills, and that's a good thing. First, I went to see the new "Star Trek" movie with one of my co-workers and a friend of hers, and that went fine, and then today I got put in charge of the coffee pot for the little coffee-and-snack thing we do after service, and as we had a group of visitors, that was interesting. It also went very well, and doing well in these kinds of situations is great, especially since that before this, my tendencies would have been to either act like a buffoon, or retreat into a corner.

Good Evening All!!

I am hastily moving towards RLT. I've a house, two gay yardboys, and family in the area. Woo Hoo!!!

Well, I saw my endo doc yesterday, and things are going in the right direction. My testosterone levels have dropped from almost 20 to 10.5. Still got a ways to go, they want my levels down to normal female range, which is 2-3. So they have increased my estrogen to 5 pumps per day, and recommended that rather than putting it on one spot, I put each pump onto a different spot to help make sure it absorbs properly.

Still, I'm making progress, and that's a good thing.

Friends,

well, after church today, the Affirm group met to discuss the upcoming Pride week, and one of the things that will take place is a special lunch on Sunday after the service, followed by a guest speaker. During this conversasion, my poem "Dear God" got mentioned, and in the end they would like me to read it aloud at this lunch.

I cant remember the last time I spoke in front of people, so this could be interesting on that front, but I'm incredably humbled to be asked.

It will be on June 9th, and I'm hoping someone can film it so I can make a link afterward.