I was re-reading "Belle of the Ball" and when it got to the chapter where Belle's dad recounts being treated as if he was a trans girl when he was a kid, and all of a sudden, I started weeping.

Some random thoughts:

Well, for whoever is interested, I'm publishing the last chapter of my autobiography today. I may put it as a whole on fictionmania, I'm not sure, but otherwise its time to move on to other projects.

To those who have read it, I hope its been interesting.

When I was in my early 20's I use to cry when things were too intense.

Well, a surprise yesterday, with an e-mail at work sent to my male name from someone I used to work with many, many years ago (80s). In summary, "Hi, remember me? Living back in Abergwaun* now, someone from Dover says you are writing books now, how you doing? I was in a writing group, any tips?"
[My reply]

"Oh! Astonishing! But hey, no problem. Can we talk about writing? I think I'll buy your books"

As a former athlete (2x national champion as a hwt. wrestler and undefeated internationally in Greco-Roman) I am constantly watching numbers. Athletes love numbers. How quick did I get my first points, what was my average time of pin-fall, how many points did I get on average. That continued over to my writing career; how many sales, how many review, average review score.

Well, I'm feeling much better today. Not only has the pain in my stomach subsided, but I got to spend an hour at Erin Payne's house, and got licked to death by her two dogs. Who knew the cure for depression was a couple of fuzzy little critters?

Been re-reading "Sweat and Tears" by Steff the Cyclist, and despite some graphic descriptions, its one of the very best stories about male sexual abuse I have ever read. Fortunately, most of her stuff is much happier, but if you can hang on through the darkness, Sweat and Tears is a amazingly well written read.

My court date finally arrived.

20,000th book sold!

Out in my transit van this morning 65 to 70 mph gusting 80 according to local coast guard station (Mumbles head.) My van literally bouncing as the gusts clobbered it. Lo and behold a learner scooter rider overtakes me wobbling all over the place.

I turn to my son; "Look at that twat he'll be off that before ..."

Today is my last day people.

No, not here.

At my job.

Well, I have some good news about my foot. My doctor had sent my information to a foot clinic, and I went there today, and the doctor there assured me that the growth isn't cancer, that its just scar tissue, and gave me a steroid shot to help start the healing process. I will need at least a couple more of these shots, one every two weeks, and hopefully, that will be the end of that.

I'm super glad.

My body scares me, and last night was a great example as to why.

Well, I am trying to clean up the mess I'm in regarding the accident I had last year, and its not fun.

I have been reading the Reluctant Girl stories and was thinking about how I use to feel when a story used my childhood name. Especially when the character was so not me.

Well, five days into the new year, and its turning into crap already.

I sit, joyous, alone in my little cottage, in quietude and peace. It took 4 hrs before I could breath without pain from my back and that was OK. Artifacts if a life fully lived but no need for an organ recital. I feel so connected with you all; participate in your pain and joy and I do feel with you. I am supported by networks of trans friends/allies, another network of LGBT friends and allies and a very strong small network of families. Thank you all, you bring me peace and joy and I hope I reciprocate. You all truly have my love.
Joani

Meinn gott, I hate moving. Expecially having too pack. Little ol me had to pack my whole room all by myself, lol

Well, things aren't looking so hot at the moment. When removing the cathader the doc mentioned a graft not going well (a large graft I migt add). He gave me 5 bottles of metaiodyne to douche with and would not talk to me after. So here I am knowing something has gone badly wrong scared as hell. I have a meeting tomorrow whwhere I might get some answers. The smell from this is unbelievably bad, so I douche.

When I know more I'll post mote.

Another Christmas come, another Christmas gone.

I know that there are some who are concerned about me and really care. As I often do, I will be taking my leave from the site for a while. Unless something major happens or I will the Nobel Prize for transgender literature, I will have nothing much to offer for a while. I am going to be starting on my next story sometime in the beginning of January. I plan on making Growing Up Jenny into a paperback as well after a major overhaul.

Just to give you a heads up of what is planned for 2014:

It is this time of year that makes grumpy old farts like me sit back and remember just what life I all about....Its not about what you did or what you achieved , to me its all about being the kind of person God would like you to be. Those ten commandments were set for a reason. I haven't been an angel about following them and am the first to admit it , But I now want to say this. I am going to try harder in the coming days, those of you I have offended know who you are and I offer the hand of friendship and forgiving to now.

♥Jessica♥So recently I discarded the last material possessions that where rons, he is nolonger around and our family