Been thinking about fan fiction. Its a little like doing a cover of a song, you can either try and capture the original, or you can try and make it your own.

Struggling a bit today, and it put a halt on my writing.

Will get through it, but good wishes and prayers appreciated.

I am reading Nancy Cole's, "Dance of the Baccha". It in many ways is a pleasant story, though at times quite frightening and tense, the subject matter dredging memories up less pleasant times for me.

I am in the first chapters where "M's" brother is being exposed to things that he had longed for, but had buried so deeply that he had not practiced.

I was teasing Jaci about having guys flirt with her, and she said, "Just you wait. It will happen to you."

Ran across this on the Hello Giggles website, co-sponsored by Zooey Deschanel. Its about coping with yours and other's feelings.

I've been listening to Jenny Boylan's memoir "I'm looking through you: Growing up haunted" in my car, and not for the first time, its got me thinking about my own collection of ghosts.

On account of my 27th anniversary of changing my lifestyle and everything else, and for the ensuing sixth birthday of Bike on Tuesday.

Well I'm finally out of the hospital for the third time this year :)
All three times were for depression, I just wanted to ask if there were any others who can relate here?

The other day I was having a conference call with Jaci and Ruth, and Ruth talked about SRS, and told me the doctor has to stimulate you down there to be sure you have full function.

While I seem to be soldiering on, life seems to be far too big for me at times and I am thinking of disappearing. BCTS seems to be the one pleasant and relatively peaceful place in my life, so I would perhaps not disappear from here.

In real life, I have somehow been harnessed as a stalking horse for certain GBLT activist groups and this public life is uncomfortable for me. I'd rather just quietly live my life, not revealing that I am anything but an elderly woman. I've learned some hard lessons in the last few years.

Well, last night I had another encounter with my clueless co-worker, and after she once again called me by my male name, I made a point of talking to my supervisor about the situation. She talked to the girl, and the girl said she had met me when we both worked at Zellers (I dont remember meeting her, but that doesnt mean it didnt happen.) So according to her, she was having some trouble doing a mental switch and call me by the right name, but would do better in the future.

For now, I'm going to consider this a win, but I will be on my guard around her ....

So, what's been up with me?

For those of you who know me on Facebook, this is not new. For those who don't, but have read my stories here (the only place I post my stories, here goes.

If I was in a better position financially I would commit myself to a mental ward and never leave. I am dangerously depressed and sleep deprived. Things are going well, but I am so fearful that the bottom is going to drop out and that I'm going to lose everything. I would rather die than to see that happen and that worries me.

I am so tired of the fight, so tired of the struggle, so tired of people looking down at me and sneering at me.

Wow today is the 40th anniversary of my marriage to my best friend Trissa 1 of 3 loves of my life the other 2 are the children she gave to me

You ever get tired of hearing me complain?

So do I.

I wish I didn't have things to complain or whine about.

This afternoon my eldest brother had invited my parents, my younger brother with his family and me to a birthday party for my niece.

My wife and I were invited to spend the afternoon of the 4th with a friend from church.

Here is a story about a cute couple of kids who both started as the opposite sex.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/transgender-teens-girl-guy-...

had an awesome birthday yesterday. I got tons of well-wishes from my online friends, I had a decent dinner with my brother and sister-in-law, and then got serenaded by my co-workers at work. Then to add the cherry to the sundae, two people at work made a point of saying "hey there, birthday girl" to me, which felt awesome.

It was so much fun, I almost dont wanna wait a year to do it again ...

Giggle. As I am 47 years old today, am I officially an old lady yet?

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #62: What can you do? To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

I don't know if you read my blog from a couple of months back, but, in that blog, I talked about a friend who was having problems at home, including fighting a weight problem and a diabetic condition (she had lost a foot already), and her insistence on continuing with transitioning.

As with most families, her family was not uderstanding of her transgender issues, and it has become worse and worse for her (She said, "I have examined my living conditions, and found them wanting."). Her children have even threatened her with violence. She and I talked about it and we both agreed that, if she continues to insist on pushing through with her transitioning, there really is no choice but to move out. She set it for July 1, a date I'm sure she picked at the time because she felt it was far enough away to be comfortable.

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/43879/family-girl-55-remi...

Alas, it's July 1 today. And it hasn't happened. I guess I just have to shrug and say to myself, "what can you do?"

being one of the few intelligent life forms on this planet. Over the weekend I laboured in my garden removing an invasive species of plant, periwinkle, which forms matted roots which required me to use a mattock to get through. I took them to my back garden and tried to burn them. The fire smouldered all night, but didn't destroy half the pest. I'll finish the job tonight, thought I.

Well, not quite... I am engaged, and my Fiance is Pregnant...

looks like my little logjam in my writing has broken. Ideas coming like snowflakes in a blizzard ....