Some of BeverlyColleen's posts have reminded me of a not-so-pleasant experience while I was doing my RLT.

I thought I would share what some of that was like for me.

It seems, by caring too much, I've inadvertantly hurt someone. So...from now on, I am staying OUT of other people's lives completely. I'm not answering questions, or offering advice, or anything else remotely like that ever again. In fact, consider this my withdrawal from the "community" et al!

Every fucking time I let my feelings get hold of me and I care too much, I end up with someone being hurt! Well, I'm done. Carry on without me!

Catherine Linda Michel

Please refrain from commenting on this blog, as I will answer none of them.

I read this quote from the latest chapter of "You meant it for evil" and It just describes the choice of transition for me perfectly:

“What happened to you is a dream come true for someone with a mind like yours. Reality for most people like you is harder and sadly, with the intolerance of society, born to some degree from the way most of us are put together, ends up being a decision between two bad choices. Either hide who you are inside and pretend to fit in or make the change and live with the consequences."

I can't begin to describe what I'm feeling right now. Relief? Understanding? I don't know. I like it. It's like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. I finally know the exact moment when I realized I was a girl, and why I fought it for so long.

Well, the job is done. I thought they would give me the whole 2 weeks to try it, but they decided I just wasnt aggressive enough to be able to do it. On the one hand, I am pretty upset about that, but I am trying to focus on the positive. I got a chance to try out being Dorothy in a real-life situation, and didn't do all that badly. But now, the hard part. I will probably have to file Dorothy away and look for a job as Todd. Ah, well.

OK here's the deal. I am taking a break here; rethinkin what I am gonna write, and I am sort of tired of the ideas that some people are pushing at me. No drama here, I'm just standing up for myself. I am finding that certain things I do just retraumatise me, so I'm not gonna do them any more. That would be dumm. I'm not answering any more calls that are unlisted.

I'm gonna finish Lt Katia and write an end to Ms Frankenstein. After that I don't know what I am gonna write. And no, I am not on skype all the time anymore.

Due to your work load Erin, I did not send this directly to you in hopes that someone else can help me with this. There are a few of my stories that I don't feel good about and I would like to either unpub them or delete them. I thought there was a place that I could access to just unpub them but have not found it. Can someone help me.

Much peace

Khadijah

WARNING: This is going to be long, and perhaps a little nonsensical/cyclical. I'm pouring it all out into text to get it out of my system, but I promise it has a happy ending.

Depression sucks. I know that's stating an obvious fact, but I ended up giving myself a swift kick in the rear today, so I needed to write about it because that's why I started blogging in the first place, over two years ago. I want to be able to look back at this and laugh someday. Call me conceited, but I also want to stand as another reminder to others that no one suffers alone.

I was living a lie: The 16st bodybuilding Father who is now a glamorous FEMALE model

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1366032/Transgende...

I found this surfing the net and was on the UK On-line Paper: "MAILOnline" She also has a 9 yr old daughter that fully except's her, interresting story! Richard

Well its official my muse has gone done a u-turn on me.... hate it when that happens

Rising Dawn is on Hiatus till I get a good idea for the continuation of the Sky Battle with Dawns Sister and the 2 Dragons

Although i have had 2 ideas for more stories

I'm freakin crazyly happy, of course its last minute but hell if i ain't smiling...the long wait for my first appointment with my endocrinologist is here friday afternoon, I am so syked I have been waiting since february 2010 and livin fl time (without name change)(family doc retired just before i went to book the appointment needed to sign a section in the application) :( since April or May woot woot hormone train is just around the bend i can't wait :)))

Well, I finished my 1st day of work as Dorothy. The good news is that my trans status mattered not at all. After the morning meeting, nobody failed to call me Dorothy, and a couple of girls walked with me to a coffee place for lunch, and obviously had no problem being seen with me. The only bad news is that the job is rather stressful, insofar that you are under some pressure to make sales. Keep praying for me.