My mom's condition is getting worse.

she's had 4 or 5 delusional episodes today, thinking Mike was fighting a fire in the roof, and Carol was not letting him come down., even though we went upstairs and opened gifts together this morning. Plus, she's not eating more than a couple bites of food. we tried fruit cups and yogurt, but its not her teeth, she simply has no apatite.

All of this stuff is complicated by the fact that: A: Its Christmas; and B: we're in a pandemic.

sighs, hugs appreciated.

Seasonal Greetings to you all, whatever you celebrate this week!

Caution: referenced suicide attempt

So I have an update from last blog.

Dad is getting worse to the point that the doctors gave us a choice. He stays in a care place on a machine, which he doesn't want. Or he comes home for Hospice and lives out his time at home. So as of right now he is here and resting on the bed. He has maybe a couple weeks due to them stopping dialysis.

I will try to post soon, but life is about to get hard for a while

So my mom called 911 at 4 AM this morning. But it wasn't all bad, they checked her oxygen levels, her blood sugar levels, and any signs of infection, and all clear.

which just leaves brain issues, I guess.

So now we wait for a psychologist, and hope we can get through Christmas.

ah, well.

is a chapter from The Visitors.

my mom is starting to hear things during the day, as 3 times today she has thought she heard Mike go up into the crawl space and work on the wiring, as well as her now usual 4 AM panic session.

I'm just trying to hang in there for her ...

So my last posting was in August. I am really trying to get the next page out. But then life happened.

When I was training to be a Nurse's Aide, one of the things I was taught was that people with dementia often struggle more at night, and during my time in the job, I confirmed this for myself.

But its one thing when its a stranger who you are being paid to look after, another when its your own mother.

Its been really hard to have my mom wake me at 4 AM almost every day believing that the house is on fire, or Mike is injured, or most often, that Carol is going to come downstairs and throw her out into the street.

Hey everyone,

Jingle all the way!--break-->

So the second week of Advent has seen slightly more settled weather hereabouts, mostly dry and even a spot of sunshine! I've had my first Chrimbo card, from my Grandson (well Mummy had to do the writing bit), I just have to work out how to get his presents up to Yorkshire - there are so many! I think I have a plan, do you think the USS Enterprezzie will be able to do the honours?

I'm struggling with dysphoria, and to make it worse, I feel guilty. I'm so much luckier than most trans people, it feels like I'm being ungrateful to struggle with those things I don't have.

Hugs appreciated.

if you are on facebook, check out a group called Affirming Ministries, they have published my story, "Dreams and Truth", and I'm really stoked about it.

https://www.facebook.com/AffirmingMinistries/photos/a.104151...

I've been trying really hard to finish the new chapter of Apocalypse Dawn, or anything really the past few days, but it's just not happening. For a week, since I got my medical coverage sorted out, I've been trying to find a new doctor, or at the very least someone to renew my prescriptions for my hormones and meds, but so far I can't even get so much as an intake appointment for eight months to a year. The walk-in clinics won't write a new prescription for me either, unless I have a standing one from a local doctor.

.

I haven't had a lot of spoons for writing for a while, mostly due to not being able to get a full night's sleep with my mom having paranoid delusions every night.

But I still have hopes to have something by the first week of December.

so stay tuned ...

my mom had her worst episode yet this morning at 3 AM.

She was so convinced that Carol was coming downstairs to throw her out that she barricaded her bedroom door.

sighs, I'm starting to worry we wont last the month we're supposed to wait before she can get an official evaluation

yup, my birthday is exactly 3 months away!

Hey everyone,

yep, got a mess o' the Blues!

I wanted to give everybody an update, because its been a busy time since I last blogged.

First, we have a therapist in our house. My brother and sister in law's cat Blanka somehow sensed I was having a tough time, and did something she doesn't normally do - jump into my bed and purr in my ear. That pushed Mr. Nasty away, and thank God.

Second, we were able to get my mom to see her doctor, and he's arranging an appointment with a specialist to help us figure out why she's having these episodes in the early morning.

get set, go!

The sun might be shining at the moment but its still windy and rain is coming through after yesterdays storms.

I had a PTSD dream last night, but one thing was different: I was externally a girl.

Is that an improvement?