but hopefully not the Walrus, koo koo ka choo!

Hey there, everyone.

I've got a busy week ahead and probably won't have much if any time to write or post, and since my birthday is on Thursday and the long weekend is ahead as well, I'm going to just take the week off and try to reconnect with my muse and recharge my batteries. I will return to my usual posting/writing schedule after Labour Day.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

So, I've decided to name this pump I have to haul around twice a month Kuato, cause it's joined to me at the hip. (Bonus points if you get the reference.) So, the most serious side effect I've had so far is my blood pressure, which had gotten normal was quite elevated today. Almost to the point where they didn't want to treat. My Oncologist wants to me to schedule with my Primary care to have my Lisinopril I take daily doubled from 5mg to 10mg.

I have been told by non family members that I am super strong and it is amazing that I survived, even excelled at times. My own family has "Ghosted" me, and despite that I fire back at them that after due consideration they were not "worth" it. Nearing the end of my life at times I wish that I had done other things with it. To my children: I'd like my seed back. They have misused it.

It often wonder how the population of BCTS got so strong and how I came to be even grudgingly accepted here. I know that what I write is pure excrement...I'm trying as hard as I can.

As if packing wasn't stressful enough, I think I am going to have to make time for a doctor's visit because of my right foot. I found out today I can't handle being in any kind of shoe that doesn't have some support, so my open toed sandals are a no.

Sighs . . .

Especially to those of us deep, deep, deep in the closet.

If you have any suspicious moles, spots that won't heal or whatever PLEASE get it checked out ASAP.

sat typing this at eight in the morning on an overcast but still warmish morning in my hometown of Sheffield

Here are two songs that I should have played to my wife many more times:

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=uSrKff0w6CU&si=Cu4

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=7UDhpW0YjDw&si=m

So I have been having more issues with my walk.

Now, I have always walked weird, because my knees are slightly pointing away from each other, making me walk like I was moseying into town after a week of riding a fat horse. But lately, it seems like it has gotten worse, as my right foot is not only pointing further away from straight, I am now walking on the side of my foot.

The other leg is a little straighter, but it's also the one with more issues with arthritis, which causes problems on that side as well.

Put an ultra short story up last night. This morning it's gone. Got it off my chest. Figured it wouldn't fly.

Ahabidah.

new story up:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/103169/girl-with-red-...

I've been away for a little while, but like a bad penny, I'm back. LOL.

So, I was wondering around the Taste of Edmonton, and I saw this beautiful skirt.

It was in my favorite color (3 guesses which one), and it fit me.

But I had to pass it up because it was $200.00.

Sometimes, it sucks being a responsible adult.

My kitchen mixer tap has been dripping for some weeks. Yesterday I tried to get the cap off and failed. I went and finished reading a novel instead. Today, with a renewed feeling of intent, I got a selection of screwdrivers and set to. I had bought some washers in the week so hoped I could do the job. I have never been good at plumbing, I'm still not, but it seems mixer taps don't have washers, they have cartridges. I watched a couple of you tube videos to see what I had to do, I then looked on Screwfix site to see how much they were. There are loads.

So, here I am on Chemo Treatment Day 2.

I got a new drug added to the cocktail, this one supposedly targets specific cancer cells, colon cancer being one of them, and draws the drugs to them to kill them. As it was explained to me, rather like a Ranger ground team Lasing a target to guide in a smart bomb. I still have to take the pump home for two days with it wired into my port, which makes for very awkward maneuvering around home. But, it beats dying so I'm not complaining.

Okay so last week, I had to get some cavities filled, and is always the case, they had to sedate me.

Once it was over, one of the nurses helped me get to our car, and Mom drove me home.

Except . . .

I can place myself in the driver's seat for the drive home, even though that is impossible.

And so I find myself shaken, wondering what other memories I have are fake, especially the memories I have recovered of the abuse I suffered as a child, as one of the few things I am sure of is my abuser used sedation on me.

hugs appreciated.

however much we wish otherwise.

38 years ago it was a Monday morning when I went into my office as a woman and everyone was very helpful. I've had a few difficult days since then including coming to terms with a stroke and the finite quality of life. I've lost my son, my marriage had already broken up, but he took his own life in 2014, a week after I'd celebrated 28 years of being me. The surgery took longer than anticipated but gave me time to know it was right for me. I just got into the fast track applicants to the Gender Panel, so after 16 or so years as female, I actually got legal status as one.

or something

I swear, if you could somehow film my dreams, you would have a blockbuster. Like last night, I dreamed I was a police woman in a small town with a sexist boss when something made people in the town go crazy and I had to keep people from hurting each other.

See what I mean

left handed screwdrivers etc are but nothing compared to a long wait.