Hey everyone,
Sorry, I've been so quiet lately. Things have been happening.

Today, we started an aggressive process to fix what I've been calling the "phantom logout issues." No one is logged out; just some part of the system serves you a "stale" logged-out page from the cache in a few small places.

We have disabled much of the caching setup to try to figure out what's going wrong, and things seem to be better, but I need more data before I can start rebuilding.

or some other Anglo-Saxon expression of expletive!

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with my brother.

I think I can finally admit I've been jealous of him pretty much my whole life.

As a kid, I wanted to be able to catch up to him in school, to be competitive with him at ping pong, or play the guitar like he did.

And even when we became adults I always felt like I was not as good as him. He managed to overcome his issues and succeed at college, and get a good job as a programmer, while I failed three times to get a higher education and barely managed to get a certificate as a Nurse's Aide.

It is now just over five weeks since I had my heart bypass operation. I haven't been ignoring you folks because there was nothing to say; rather the opposite, there is (very slow) progress but I just haven't had the time or energy to document it.

Time to put that right.

and i'm feeling a bit more energised!

I've been thinking about this since I first found out. As mentioned a couple of blogs ago, my grandson got married on the first. While at the wedding, I talked with a lot of family members that I don't often get to spend a lot of time with.

Yep, the actual concluding chapter of On The Edge is yours today!

I can't say what has happened to the Internet. I thought it was only in the last two weeks, but it may have been actually going on for much longer. ONE person has actually reached out to me, offering help and I gave them all my contact information.

It's been nearly 20 years, and along the way several people have asked for help, and I have done my best to respond. I've tried very hard to be responsive to the site administrators. The record is there, if they kept any.

I had 2 rather encouraging dreams last night.

In the first one, I was in a contest where I had to climb up what looked like a life-size pinball machine.

In the second one, I was back in university and realized I had forgotten to write down the location of one class, so I went to the office to get it.

So what was encouraging?

In the first time, I wasn't afraid to take a breath and plan each step I took.

In the second I wasn't afraid or ashamed of asking for help when I needed it.

and that's encouraging.

For almost a week, the Internet has been unavailable to me, no email, or online purchases. I don't know if my old win 10 computer died or if I got hacked or what? Eventually, I gave up on it because I knew that by August Win 10 was not going to be supported anyway.

Well, I have some good news to share.

First, I got the results of the CT scan done on my brain back, and it showed no signs of damage or anything. While that is good, it means we still don't know why I have word drop and brain farts.

Second, I am now on stage 2 of dealing with my dentures, which means I can now have solid (if soft) foods.

Step by step, I do what I can, and its great to make progress.

huggles for everybody

I didn't think I could, but a new story idea came to me last night, and I realized it fit the idea of a fresh start.

here it is, please leave kudos and comments!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/102586/little-bit-his...

We had to go to my grandson's wedding this last Saturday. As family we were invited to the rehearsal dinner on Friday as well as the wedding. It was a three hour round trip to the venue. We decided to spend the night. As we were packing for the two events. My wife was dithering over what to wear. She picked out a nice top but the neck line was a little loose and she was concerned about "down the blouse" views if she bent over a little and was wondering what she could wear under. I offered:

"I could loan you a black cami."

I have to share my latest dream, while I still remember it.

In the dream, I was on a quest, and had gathered a group of people to be part of it.

Once the group was assembled, I told them that one of them, a young woman, had a connection to me and to what was going to happen

I told them, "I'm the fuse. She's the bomb."

I didn't seem upset about this. In fact I told the girl, "Come on, lets go boom"

Then I told them we had to get to a certain location up on top of a hill on the outskirts of the city, and we began to travel.

I find it odd that even though I have said repeatedly I am dangerous, almost nobody believes me.
I wonder why?

So on Thursday, I got all my top teeth removed, and my dentures installed.

The reason they put the dentures in right away is they use them as kind of a bandage, to protect the area from infection, and keep the shape of my mouth the same as it heals

So the last couple days have been kinda less than fun, but I'm slowly getting better,

Anyway, hugs still appreciated.

looks like my discord is not going to be working for while .someone in the Philippines hacked my account and was using it to send out spam . they are investigating it but there is a chance discord will end up doing an ip ban as this has been going on for along time with out my knowledge .i spent 4 hours working with discord support it may take several days to fix this .in the mean time my discord is locked so no access .

Unlike many of you, but like some readers and writers on here, I live almost fully in the closet. My only time off from my male life is when I go away on short breaks. I share these with a gentleman sometimes. He has encouraged me to be braver. It is so much easier with support.

So for the last couple of days, I've been dealing a specific symptom of my depression - a lack of spoons.

I have felt like I was swimming in tar exhausted just getting the minimum done.

I'm starting to come out of it, but huggles appreciated.

Hello friends. I am now home from Cobb WellStar Hospital, two tumors and a fair amount of intestine lighter. But the cancer is now out of me and we have some breathing space to plot the battle. From here, it will be 6 months of chemo to be sure anything too small to have been seen is dead and once we're sure of that, a follow up surgery to repair my lightened intestines.

Tired, sore, beat up and sobered.

Almost died on the table, but thanks to the quick thinking and decisiveness of my surgeon, I'm still here and home. And I got news an old college buddy my age died.

so the last while I have had moments where I find myself disengaging, drifting away from what ever was going on.

they don't last long, but I have no idea what is triggering them.

And I would like them to stop now.

hugs appreciated.

and suddenly everyone is smiling!

I've been debating this blog post for most of the week, but I believe it needs doing as a warning to folks who may need it.

Before I go on, I must preface with a few details about my father - he's a brilliant man, a scientist, full of great heart and wisdom. He is now in his 80s and he still does meaningful work for a university. But my mom was lost to us a year and a half ago (has it already been that long??), and he is beginning to really feel his age - and at times says he feels lost in a world that has changed so much from what he's known.