has been this weeks weather!

just kidding - it's only 49!

in any shape or form. Indeed, i'd go as far as to say i'm an increasingly worried bunny

Well, as normal as things get around Bell acres!

It is now about five weeks since I have had a razor or shaver near my face. I use the epilator when there is anything to harvest, it usually takes me about five or so minutes. I will remind you that I had electrolysis on my facial hair many years ago (but not my throat or top lip). A little has grown back but is much finer, as is much of the regrowth from the epilator and which I hope will continue to get finer through the epilation.

lets hope 2026 is better for us all than 2025!

This should have been my first blog entry. I was so focused on posting my story I overlooked many of the protocols and customs of BCTS, so sorry about that. But now that I've gotten that ball rolling I thought I'd try and start over again:

I've picked up a virus which is primarily working its way from my boxes of tissues! I had a dinner invite for Xmas Day but cancelled as no way I want to infect anyone. I was supposed to be out Xmas Eve and had chosen my outfit but that didn't happen either. Oh well!
The same happened 2 years ago, and many times in the past, so I should be used to it!

Shiraz

Let me start this out by saying I, personally, am in a good place right now despite everything. This is not the blog post I wanted to make at Christmas time and my TopShelf anniversary, but it's the post that I need to make.

If you're struggling with life, especially at this time of year, you don't have to suffer alone. I need you, anyone, everyone, to understand this. Mental health issues aren't a sign of weakness that needs to be tucked away like an ugly Christmas sweater your grandma gave you when you were five.

If you need help right now, call or text the 988 lifeline. This is a completely free service no matter how major or minor.

Sorry to be self indulgent, but just a quick memorial to my favourite guitarist, who sadly passed away today.
Chris Rea was born in Middleborough, now called Teeside, but at the time, Noth Riding of Yorkshire.
His beautiful guitar playing and gravelly voice were the soundtrack of my adolescence, from the poppy "Fool if you think it's over" to the sublime "Auberge", and, of course, he also wrote the classic "Driving Home for Christmas".
I've seen him play at least ten times, and on every occasion, he came over as a nice guy.
Lucy xx

Yep, today, in this part of the world, it has been the shortest daylight of the year, as we pass the Winter Solstice

Not hiding, just not well in multiple ways, which has required two hospital stays and forced full retirement on me. Heart and kidneys are the knowns; thyroid has just been ruled out, and next month they are going to check my liver, deep joy.

Just no energy.

I have had a couple of near-misses driving the last couple of days. And then tonight I managed to drive over a curb and give myself a flat tire.

these events have me worried, and depressed.

hugs appreciated.

I need to talk about autism. I’m still coming to terms with what it means to be an autistic person especially because, as the saying goes, if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.

For months, I have looked at a pile of items I needed to take to Goodwill, and found a reason not to deal with them.

Well, today, I found a reason to get rid of them - I am expecting a new bed on Friday.

I feel pretty good about accomplishing this, honestly.

but sadly, all too soon i had to return from my jaunt!

I had to get a tooth removed today. which involved me being sedated.

Trouble is. what I am feeling is exactly the same ad how I felt after my "secessions" with the man who took my innocence. .. .

so you can guess how I am doing.

I was buggered. I was feeling every ounce of my age and wondering if I would survive the day, and if I wanted to. I had my coffee and orange juice and started to feel a little better.

A better mood started to kick in and I recognised just how lucky I am to have a group of close sisters here, who I love dearly, and that I have this site to relate to every day, thankfully to all of the admin who put so much effort into keeping it up and operating.

One of the commonest problems for transwomen is the occurrence of facial hair. It is believed that electolysis is the only permanent means of removal, laser is a temporary method and it doesn't work with light coloured hair. I had 4 years of electrolysis which cleared much of my facial hair, ecept the upper lip and throat area. Over the last couple of years I have been plucking but it's slow and sometimes hurts a bit and on a good day only 10 or 20 hairs were removed.

which is essentially the German equivalent of Rememberence Day here in the UK.

Sorry, folks, stuff you know.

are usual in November but it makes them no less unwelcome!

you probably have heard the saying about having 2 wolves inside of you.

Well, I dont have wolves. I have about 12 variations of myself, all at different ages, and all of them have vastly different agendas to each other.

The fact that I am in any way functional with this going on inside me should get me some kind of appreciation . . .