I had a family reunion this weekend that i had intended to ignore, due to 3+ hours travel each way and while i'm 10 years post op my family has generally been very chilly towards me in the past.

I had an older cousin and then one sister put pressure on me via my wife to get me to go, and then was offered a place to sleep overnight as a lady who lives on the same property as I came with me, her mums house was less than a mile from the venue.

My friend has studied makeup and hairdressing. (woohoo personal stylist, she's an awesome friend & person)

got home from montreal an hour ago.

apparently I bounced back from the operation unusually fast.
no major pain.
some bruising, swelling and tenderness, but only to be expected.

time to do the final dilation for the day though.

have fun. ( I will be, doctor's orders to masturbate 4 times a day for months on end. ;) ).

I'm in the middle of a struggle that is costing me lots of emotional strength and my two best friends don't even care, and in fact view my efforts in this area as fruitless, even silly. I don't force my views on others but if they decide to ridicule my own, there is no respect; they seem to feel they have a right to tear at things that make all the difference to me, the only reason I stay alive.

Well, thanks to my own bad choices and laziness there is a good possibility that I will cheat myself out of four thousand dollars.

See, way back when I started with Walmart, I got a little bit of Walmart stock given to me by the company. When I stopped working for them I was supposed to get a payout - about 4 thousand dollars.

But due to a mix-up, they sent me a check - in the name of Dorothy.

Which isn't my legal name yet.

Which meant I couldn't cash the check

ooops.

got Dr. Brassard on my case today, for doing to much.

I only had my backpack with lappy in it on my shoulder and he says that is over-exerting myself.

After about one year after surgery for a sarcoma,and seven other surgeries I'm in a nursing home just north of Indianapolis. I am gradually getting better. I can sit up in bed and wheel chair and walk a little.

shalimar

Strokes suck. Brain fog makestyping almost Impossible But can read and converse well MyLeft side is paralyzed but my leg is definitely getting better. I havestoriesII want to write dang it!

had my consult with Dr. Pierre today, all is a go for my surgery at 7 am tomorrow.

the fun parts though, sitting 2 rows behind me on the flight here was another trans woman coming for her surgery tomorrow.
hers is 6 am.

both of us are sharing cab to the clinic with trans guys from nova scotia ( same hometown also. ). so one of each leaving at 5:45 am and again at 6:45 am.

so next time I'm online is after my surgery.

When I was a kid, I noticed that the insults directed at me, and any other male who wasn't popular tended to involve how feminine we were - "fag", "sissy" or even being called a girl.

I didn't understand it then, but I see it now. To those boys, being a girl was to be a lower form of life, and therefore the worst insult you could give a boy was to compare him to a girl.

I wonder how many of those boys ever stopped feeling like that, how many girlfriends and wives suffered because of that attitude, and how many taught that same feeling to their sons.

I shall be out with the bat group until quite late so won't have time to write, I'm afraid. This being a part time ecologist is hard work and we only had one dormouse yesterday, which ran up the tree, so we didn't get to sex it or weigh it. Thankfully, it wasn't me who let it escape. We did have a couple or more nests in the boxes but that was it.

As it's a fairly quiet night, windwise, we might get some bats. I'll let you know.

Angharad.

which sums up my life for the past 30 odd years.

Perhaps it will inspire one two to do the same.

Lately I have been shying away from anything violent or depicting violence. It's gotten so bad that even too much tension in a movie or story will cause me to walk out or close that page.

As you might recall, two weeks ago I pushed to the edge when I rode the Otztaler Radmarathon. Well today things were a little less stressed when I rode the Eddy Merckx Classic near Salzburg. (I won't bore you with the bit in between). Cycling bore that I am, I completed the 169km through the Salzkammergut in 6.5 hours almost exactly half the time I was in the saddle a fortnight ago.

If you have read any TG fiction at all, there's a good chance you read something like this: a new girl discovers that girls can be very ... earthy and share intimate details with other girls
.
Well, I don't know how common that is in real life, but I had something like that happen to me yesterday. I had a conversation with a co-worker, in which she ... overshared details about her period.

I hope I didn't come across as clueless in my response ...

In a comment to my blog, "Acceptable shoes" someone accused me of pushing the envelope and I freely admitted doing so. The "push the envelope" bug has bitten me again.

I can never achieve THAT feminine elegance, that soft swish of long hair, that feminine charisma. I will never be like that and it kills me every day. Why it has happened to me it was just the combo of a little "X" rather than "Y" with the "X" to be. It was just alittle run lost.

If you haven't been following my last few blog posts you won't know about my mental crisis I went through. Well I'm proud to say that I'm much happier now and I'm feeling much better now!

Also I've finally got back to writing my stories again. On a side note I'm writing a Halloween themed story for another site that I intend on posting here after the contest it is being written for concludes.

I should have another BP chapter up soon.

Kinda an interesting moment yesterday.

I had been struggling all day, so I finally decided I needed to go out, and put on a pretty skirt and went to the new Star Trek film.

The film was great, the best since the reboot, but that wasn't the interesting moment.

Well I have been a little quiet lately.

Got some bad and good news.

The bad. Last June I knew I would be losing the house with all things connected to it .

The good. Well although everything happed pretty fast, I got married the 21st and 99% sure I'll end up moving to the American Midwest ( OKC ). Depends on the wife's job and whatever happens with USCIS.

Going to be a hard year getting everything straightened out and us being apart but I'm positive will make it.

Lynne

My mom had to cancel her plans to accompany me to Montreal for my GRS.
She goes in for her second cataract surgery 5 days before I leave for Montreal, so can't travel that short a time afterwards.

Well, it was not a good day.

I strained my back, which set my hips and knees off, which set my PTSD off, which meant a very tough day ...

My writing went on hold when the floating radio station's studio was being built, some 5 days before broadcasting started. I had Anchored #33 written beforehand so this was published on 27th July, just before we went live.

Joan, who are you?
Well I have gone by "Joan de Arc" for acting like a martyr. I have gone by "Joan of Harp" as an amateur musician. I have given my middle name of Joan for a food pickup because no one can spell my first name right. Then there are some of my friends that just call me Joan.

A month ago I had a rather significant birthday. Although I'm still the same age as Johnny Rotten and Kim Cattrall, when both digits click over you tend to muse upon your own mortality rather more than you do on other occasions. In my case I can only reflect that I've been incredibly lucky to have avoided any significant health issues, and that the law of averages alone will ensure that this won't last for ever.