I'm off South in the morning to the town where I spent twenty years of my working, and married, life. I have some great friends there and some happy memories. Both of my children were born there and my daughter will be going with me so she can see her nan. It's also entirely possible her mother will make an appearance.

I no longer have any communication with the ex and am unlikely to see her even if my daughter does. For legal reasons that meeting will be supervised to ensure my daughter's safety.

Usually I don't cut and past from facebook, but this bothers me.

I went to see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies today, and it was an excellent movie. At turns action-packed, romantic, and actually a lot of humor.

But I believe it will be the last film I see in the theater.

Its not just the expense, or the urge to buy snacks both costly and bad for me, but the experience - I found I hated being alone watching the movie.

Story of my life, really - not really good at people skills, yet I have come to hate being alone ...

Ah, well. At most, only 30 -40 years of loneliness to go ...

Well, I may not have found a snuggle partner this Valentine's, but apparently, my dog did - in the form of a rabbit in the next door neighbor's yard.

The two of them approached the fence cautiously, then the rabbit gave a quick sniffy kiss on my dog's nose through the fence, and hopped away.

My dog was clearly smitten, not wanting to come back in, and stayed as close to the fence as possible, waiting for her new friend to come back over - which she did, gave my dog another sniff-kiss, and hopped away again.

So the other day I was searching amazon for a new book to read. I entered the search term cycling and scrolled down the list. I really enjoying cycling biographies and have read most of them. As I scrolled down the list I came across a book cover with a really cute Anime girl, it just seemed so out of place, I thought what could this book have to do with cycling. Well the description really offered no clues but I was curious. I'm not a huge anime fan, I like the really good stuff, Studio Ghibli, some of the better series, I'd just finished watching SteinsGate.

Well, I went swimming, and it was great.

Very nice pool, no problems with the trans stuff at all.

Boy did I need that ...

I got the hospital bill in the mail for my 2 month "vacation"

$770,000 dollars. That's insane. Luckily I just have to pay a 500 dollar deductible or I'd be sunk.

I had an inkling last week but it's been confirmed today, my tenure at my employers has ended after a mere 11 years service. Brutal but quick end but no less discombobulating for that.

So I'm in flux atm, not sure what i'll do but I might have to fill some time with scribbles.

Well, I got my holidays after all.

I am off for the next 2 weeks.

hopefully, I can get some writing done ...

Well one worry less for the moment. My results for the first semester are 70%, 80% and 80%. So 2 B's and 1 C isn't bad when I didn't study more then 8 hours total ( for 7 tests, 4 homework tasks and 3 exams) for the entire semester. (finishes what they call A-levels in the UK for the rest, years ago so only got the technical courses left).

Thursday it's the first day of the next semester but before that it's back for the retirement commission and work related stuff Tuesday >faceplam<. Here's hoping it will be the last one ...

Lynne

Well my exams are over and now I'm just waiting on the points. Think I got everything but I won't know before the 29th.

Head 's cleared up a bit which is good and I spend Tuesday with my brother-in-law at the motor show in Brussels which also helped. And no, I didn't buy anything although I liked some of the light motorcycles a lot, BMW G310R anyone ;)

For the second day in a row I'm in terrible pain.

Enough pain to go past "crying" and head toward "screaming " ...

Well, I volunteered today at the local food bank, and it was wonderful.

I'm glad I overcame my anxiety and went.

I'm going to try and make it part of my weekly routine.

Well, got a frustrating situation going on. See, way back at the beginning of December, I booked the last week of January off, got that approved by my supervisor, and gave the sheet to the personal office.

And yet, my name is on the schedule for that week.

I talked to the store manager and my supervisor about this, and they asked me about pushing my time off because they are expecting a new maintenance person to be starting around that time, and they would prefer they not have to go solo right away, but rather have someone to show them the ropes.

I am really angry, and trying to keep a lid on it.

See, a couple of days ago, our provincial government brought down some recommendations for school boards dealing with LGBT kids, but not everybody was pleased.

The bishop of Calgary fired off on the recommendations, especially those that were supposed to help make trans kids safer in schools.

So when I read what he said, I started to get angry.

I wanted to fire back, to find out his email address and fill his inbox with every bit of rage i could.

But that's not the person I want to be.

I am not sure why, but it seems like my social anxiety levels are sky high.

First, I had to fight anxiety off just to go to a store and get help fixing our shower chair, and then today, I was going to go to volunteer at the local food bank (It was something my councilor recommended), but I got so anxious I didn't go.

Sighs ....

I'm back from my counseling appointment, and I am not sure if this is good news, but they want to do a full psych evaluation on me, because they think I'm having problems beyond the ones I'm already on meds for.

So I'm crazier than even I thought ...

Anybody who has had a pet can understand how they can sneak into your heart, and become a part of the family.

Well, my daughter had to say goodbye to a member of her family today, and in honor of little Hanna, here is a little song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUeuODPofpo

Stephie's (my wife's) condition continues to degrade. She was first diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer's disease in 2013. She was put into hospice a year later. Since then, I've been taking care of her at home, and slowly watching her degrade over time.

The periods where she is coherent grow fewer and further between. She no longer recognizes me. She think's I'm our son.

She struggles to say simple things. I would like to think that her mind knows what she's trying to say, but it gets lost in translation to what comes out of her mouth.

My wife has long been the policewoman looking out for fashion no-nos. By that I mean seeing to it that I don't get too feminine for the situation. These could be a simple as seeing to it that I'm dressed masculine enough to be seen with her, to seeing to it that I'm dressed masculine enough to be seen by our friends and family that don't know I'm T.

Well, I have had a productive day.

I got my laundry done, I have replacements coming for my health care card and my social insurance card coming, I got money out to pay for my share of the rent, I got a refill on my meds, and I treated myself to some cheese bread.

And now I'm working on the next chapter of "Mercy"

Not a bad day ...

Here is my take on 2015:

This was the year where old, tired governments got replaced by parties with younger leaders and more optimistic outlooks

But it was also the year a reality show host became the leading nominee for President of the U.S.

It was a year that a black man was still in the White house

but it also was a year where a lot of unarmed black men got shot by police.

It was a year in which the Pope asked capitalists to take more care of the less fortunate

Well reading "The ties that bind" and, to put it blunt, pissed me of. so that I needed to shake it of. Not, to be to the point, that I hate it or that am angry at it. Just me being f****d as usual and letting my brain do her stuff >faceplam<

One reason I like reading and some tv-show /movies / anime , and that's forgetting music, is that my brain gives it an extra twist. My Mom used to say that when I watched a show, I was 'IN' the televionset instead of on the couch/floor where my body was. (was fun with the original Star Wars but hell with horormovies ).

Happy new year, everybody. I hope 2016 turns out to be an amazing fantastic year for you all.,

And just because you've all been good, here is a little treat:

"So what do you want to do tonight, Dottie?"

"Same thing we do every night, Jaci - try to convince people we're not girly girls!"

(Music plays)

"Oh they're Jaci and the Dot.

Jaci and the Dot.

One is a smartie, the other might have a thought.

They're really girly girls,

who give their skirts a twirl

They're Jaci, Jaci and the Dot Dot Dot ...."