so here is my chronicle of my adventures in endoscopy:

after repeatedly telling the nurses and then the doctor about my PTSD and gag reflex, they gave me the normal amount of sedative and then had me clench this plastic tube between my teeth.

10 seconds later I'm gagging and they had to take it out and knock me all the way out to do the procedure.

Sighs, at least it's over ...

You know what's tough? Self care. Self care is super, super tough.

But when it goes right, it's a great thing.

I've been letting my self-care slide a lot the last few years. I've gotten somewhat better about it in the last year and a half, since I sort-of left the work force and started focusing on work-from-home pursuits, but I've still languished in the land of 'I'll get to it later' on some things for far too long.

One of those is my weight.

I am going for an endoscopy tomorrow, and I'm already struggling with anxiety.

Thanks to my PTSD, I have a gag reflex like nobody's business, and therefore the prospect of having a tube shoved down my throat doesn't exactly fill me with happiness.

hugs appreciated.

Chris Meadows, aka Robotech Master, and one of the two main creators of FreeRIDErs ( https://shifti.org/wiki/FreeRIDErs_(setting) ), has passed away due to brain injuries caused by a SUV hit and run while he was on his e-bike.

https://teleread.org/2020/10/09/telereads-chris-meadows-seri...

While the more eagle-eyed among you may have noticed recent comments from me scattered across a handful of stories, it actually marks a 'soft' return from a prolonged absence (from here - those who frequent the BCTS group on the Book of Faces will probably have seen me quite frequently...) of about 3 1/2 years...

Couple months back I realized how much out of touch with current makeup fashions I had become when I began looking for a lipstick color to replace one I had used for years. There are a couple names for what I was searching for but obviously Frosted Peach, or Iced Peach is no longer a fashionable lipstick color. I tried multi variations of color combinations with no luck. I finally found what I wanted on one of those trips to OKC.

So I've been thinkin' about writing a lot lately, and a few recent stories have spurned a bit of an odd series of thoughts in my noggin'.

A lot of trans fic, whether intentionally or unintentionally, tends towards fantasy to some degree or science fiction. That's not to say ALL stories do, but even when it's very light -- whether it be the miraculous power of subliminals to change you utterly or a brand-new magic pill that does the same -- a lot of trans stories delight in utilizing fantastical gadgets or wonder drugs to do the dirty work.

My question, though, is this:

It's 4:00 A.M.

I just noticed that I have had no interaction with anyone listed under the column on the left called Who's Online.

In stark contrast, many of those listed on the right hand side under In Memoriam were people I had had a great deal of interaction with in comments or messages. I had edited stories for a number of them.

Is there a difference in perception between a blond haired female and a blond haired male?!?!? Why?!?!?

What is the male equivalent of a "valley girl"?!?!?

What is the male equivalent of a "slut"?!?!?

What is the female equivalent of a "gigolo"?!?!?

Blond is actually spelled with an ;E' on the end, isn't it?!?!?

II just read a book called "the conclave" by Robert Harris. It has a surprise ending that might be of interest to readers here. Warning! Do not read if you are a Catholic who thinks that there is anything but politics at work in the election of the pope.

Liz

Tommorow will be lost in time...

A Science Fiction transgender short story by Melanie E.

And its the finale of Summer Girl!

The girl found naked on the beach—Amethyst, if that is her name—needs a cold shower but gets a hot one. :)
 

Hey everyone, I thought I would do a quick announcement. Now I've hit page 8 of adrenaline jackey, I don't have much in the way of ideas for the future and yesterday wiped me the fuck out. So I'm gonna need some time before I figure out what I want to do with the story.

Don't worry, it won't end, I just need a little bit of time, maybe a week or two, to get my sense back in order along with writing my book and maybe starting something new :3

Thank you for reading, please have a happy happy day!!!!!

It's taken a couple of days, but I've combed through TG Techie and found every reference to a song or band. There is one exception, a reference to Guns 'n Roses, a band I have never sought out nor listened to. Nor could any argument be made to sway me.

But good news! I think there will be a little something in there for almost everyone to hate.

Shauna Rousseau's "The Loft" chapter 3 is being previewed on BC Patreon a few days early for Patrons. :)

Thanks, Shauna!

I'm feeling sort of tearful, perhaps without right? It's been years since I wanted a spanking. I thought that was over.

I was talking with my therapist and she asked me if I felt arousal when I got dressed in the morning? That brought me up short. I felt like I'd gotten poked with a stick.

Sorry, I know it's been a few weeks. I have the next week off and plan to spend some time writing. So, hopefully it won't happen again for a while.

The Fall of Kruhl Illusions By Daniela A. Wolfe At last, it comes time to confront Leoffa, but when Agent and Once-King move in for the attack not all is as it seems.

a very quickie indeed

I was re-reading one of my old stories, and couldn't help but giggle at this exchange in the comments:

"Boo hoo... You don't love me enough to kill me..."

"I had a special death planned for you but decided to be merciful to my readers, I'll kill you next time, promise."

"Aww, you're a good friend. *hug*"

My mom and I were talking about my bras, and in the process I realized how my breast growth has snuck up on me.

Which got me thinking about my transition in general - that success has snuck up on me, and I hardly noticed it.

Weird, huh?

Nora Ephron said “Writers are cannibals. They really are. They are predators, and if you are friends with them, and if you say anything funny at dinner, or if anything good happens to you, you are in big trouble.”

In a sense, we do devour everything we see and regurgitate it, as needed.

I’m more curious about a different kind of cannibalizing. In marketing, be use that term when introducing a new product or service.

Will the new product help us gain market share. . .or will it simply cut into our current sales?

I've been at BCTS for a long time and many of you have expressed kindness to me in that time. I'm so thankful to you all. I just wanted to make sure I had a chance to express that sentiment in case things went really sour.

I live in Portland, Oregon, right next to the ICE center. The demonstration tonight included yelling, explosions and tear gas that got in my 4th floor apartment through an open window. There was no warning. The demonstrators were attacking without warning. I almost went to the hospital but some medication stabilized me.

Peace to you all.

Gwen

To every one of you who have questioned yourselves, who haven't been able to make that big step...I know where you are...I've been there and I KNOW how difficult it is!

These words, from a TV show of all things, helped me...encouraged me...spoke to my struggle and the courage they spoke about. It became my private, personal theme.

I share them with you now. They may be familiar to anyone who is a Science Fiction fan.

Rod Stewart's words.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0azMOJ-h_o

If you are reading this blog it means you have an interest or curiosity of things that are LGBQT related. The Brini Maxwell Show is part of our history. Brini was a ground breaking performer that was way ahead of her/his time.

It took me 2 or 3 shows before I realized the high camp reality of what I was watching. Ben Sander plays Brini perfectly!

how magical, how perfect, how wonderful her voice is?? She acts so surprised when she finishes and all the judges are practically in tears at how beautifully she sang.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT-rdjv8wgQ

I teared up at the first few notes and was crying before the first four bars of the song!!! By the time she finished I was crying my heart out and I didn't even understand the language in which she sang!

Okay so last night this bit of dialog came into my head:

Young man, looking in a mirror while wearing girl's clothes for the first time: "Is it weird that I'm super attracted to myself?"

Female friend:"You're not the only one. If I'd known how hot you'd look, I would have tried to talk you into skirts a long time ago"

And since I dont have a story to go with this dialog, I'm offering it up as a challenge to anyone who wants to make a story around it,

with a Rainbow!

I guess you are wondering what that scream was about. Or maybe why you haven't heard from me for a while.

I am really good about doing backups. Honest, I am. I realized at the beginning of this summer that I had to reinstall my various OSes in the computers in the humble abode lest the odd virus crash a computer that was needed by family for school or for work. Maintenance, Maintenance, Maintenance!

So early this morning, after firing up my smoker, rubbing down the beef brisket with one of my simpler home made rubs (Brown sugar, Paprika, Himalayan pink salt & chili powder) and tossing that in the smoker, I found myself getting hungry for breakfast.

Finding a small covered plate with the remains of a can of spam in the fridge I decided that would work for the meat part of breakfast. Rubbing the slices down with the BBQ rub I had made earlier I sat a pan out to heat up on the stove.

Yes folks, another new book published...
Many of you have PM'd me to attempt to ascertain my 'other names' under which I publish.

Well, the truth is that the 'other names' don't sell nearly as well as Tanya Allan, so I am now going to bring all my work under this one - TG or not.

This one is the first of many that I was going to publish under another name - it is a romantic thriller and is as straight as they come.

For those of you following Apocalypse Dawn, I have added a considerable amount from my story notes and background info to the appendix over the last few days to make things a bit easier to keep track of. I've added a character list of sorts, as well as some information on monsters and other creatures that have been mentioned at some point in the story and maybe even things that haven't been yet. Just let me know if there is anything that I missed or should add, though I'll be keeping any spoilers to myself ;)

Every previous sexual partner will tell you I'm not above playing dirty, so here's the deal: We have a nice opportunity to take a step back and get some feedback.

Go here
https://s.surveyplanet.com/PiPRJWjTd
Have some fun with a survey. At some secret predetermined number of surveys taken, I'll release a section of the upcoming chapter I've been working on.

yup, I think summer is over!

The new girl, Bridget, does a reverse striptease in the cab of a truck--with only Albert as audience.
 

One of my favorite movies is the 1950s classic Friendly Persuasion – starring Gary Cooper. The entire movie is based on people trying to motivate the Quakers to take part in war. The movie dissects the ethical considerations for various members of one large family. (It also has a great theme song - Thee My Love by Pat Boone.)

We have recently discussed forced fem stories.

One of the great things about insomnia is the time you have to think about stuff. I think about consequences a lot. For example, when I finally get enough sleep, and I feel guilty about staying in bed because it's now afternoon, I get up and reach for the light chain from my ceiling fan, and my body says, "Nope. You do that, I'm gonna dump you on the floor."

Everyone seems to be sharing their dreams, so I finally had one that folks here may find interesting.

I rarely recall my dreams in any real detail, but a couple of night ago I awoke with one that mostly stuck with me.

We have all heard and read the same advice, "don't quit your hormones if you have been on them awhile". Well guess what? No really make a guess. That one didn't count, too easy, try again. Yes I dropped my hormones nine days ago. I returned from the doctors office a few hours ago. Katie told me to get back on the hormones, contact my transition doctors, Diana or Marlene and remember what I had been told about quitting hormones. If one has been on them for awhile don't just quit cold turkey.

so last night I had the closest thing to a nightmare I've had in a while.

I was at a hospital, taking a class, and as I was making my way to the exit, one of my tormenters from high school jumped on my back as I was going up a flight of stairs.

I somehow managed to not fall down the stairs, bit I lay there, seemingly unable to fight, screaming at the guy to get off me.

I'll be okay, just a bit shook up.

After a nice day visiting with Friends!

Hey everyone, I was really hoping to have a chapter of MSPD ready for this weekend, especially after being sick last week, but the past few days have been pretty busy and I've had no writing time so it probably won't be ready until next weekend.

In my 15 years 11 months here on BCTS, I uploaded many pictures. Right now, I'm involved in Melanie E./Rasufelle’s One Dozen Roses project. I've taken on the task of collating and formatting the collection. Counting the 12 stories and the cover, that means I'm adding a large group of photos as I submit things to the group.

on Kindle!