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Home Where She Belongs

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After weeks of having one of my long-distance friends and players in my D&D campaigns be missing, I've found out that she has passed from this life and into Heaven on July 11, 2025. Natalie Holman was a bright, wise and happy soul who was giving of love in all her interactions.

Obadyah D'vorah is Natalies Jewish name. She is into fairies and like to go by the name Shiran a lot when playing them. She was in the military and was a computer programmer. She is retired and she is in her late 60's with eyesight problems, rides Harley motorcycles, plays the guitar, follows several book series, has 2 cats that like biting her.

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Sharon gave me a stressful day today

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So today Sharon asked me to sign a form saying I have no stake in her house, so she can put it on the market.

And she freaked out when I signed it Dorothy, and I tried to explain I had a name change years ago, and Dorothy is my legal name.

She kept saying that she was afraid that my signature wouldn't be valid, and then asked me about surgery and the fact I now have breasts.

It was stressful, but at least she didn't misquote scripture like she did a couple of days ago, trying to use the story of Sodom against me.

Ah, well.

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Just how did we let these lunatics gain power………

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I have really been trying not to post anything political on this site over the past several months. As much as I sometimes need to vent and I feel that a topic may interest those who read here, I also understand that many may not feel it is appropriate. But today I can’t help but so so.

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Some years back I read EE Nalley’s Belle Of The Ball story……

And thoroughly enjoyed it. I have been trying to locate it for some time now, a d all I get are references to it being posted on either Sapphire’s Place or Stardust. Unfortunately, I am not able to open either site.

Does anyone know where the story can be found?

Thanks!

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Patreon discounts in August

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From now till the end of August, there's a sale on Patreon memberships.

The memberships that normally go for $5, $10, or $20 per month will be discounted at least 30% if paid for annually.

To take advantage of the discount when you buy a membership, use this code at checkout: 5FC68

Honestly, this is just a contribution to the site, the above memberships do not give Patrons anymore than the $1 and $3 monthly memberships. This is kind of an experiment.

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my brain is afraid of being afraid

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One of my biggest struggles is having a shower. (there are reasons for that, but they aren't important right now).

But what really is frustrating is that instead of my brain saying "I'm scared of showers because of BAD THING", it tries to give me excuses to not shower - I'm too busy, too tired, too hot, too cold. or tries to distract me with a book or a website or a video or even a train of thought.

It seems that my brain is scared of admitting its scared, so I have to get through the fear of fear in order to actually face my fear.

Ah, well.

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How To Publish...

My use of MS Word seems to be blocked. I have refused to use the "Cloud" because things seem to go missing from there. :( Perhaps another choice would be to use the BCTS utility to write but I have not done that before. I have not tried to write on MS Word, and scan that into BCTS.

I spent 5 hours + trying to go to their place of business. That was frustrating and I failed.

So far.... I feel that I am too ignorant to use something other than MS Word.

Working on it.

Ahabidah, Gwen Brown or what ever...

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I really don't understand this.

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The Sandie Peggie case involved an NHS nurse who faced a disciplinary process after an incident in a women's changing room involving a transgender doctor.

Ms. Peggie encountered a transgender doctor, Dr. Upton, in the women's changing room at NHS Fife. The exact details of the exchange and the language used are disputed, but it led to allegations of misconduct, failures in patient care, and misgendering. Ms. Peggie also faced allegations of using racist slurs in chat messages and describing Dr. Upton as a "weirdo,"

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Seven Levels of Fantasy

The ol' YouTube algorithm offered up a vid during tonight's random sojourns across the Internet which I rather enjoyed, so figured to share so our authors and readers could also partake and either agree or disagree with this guy's assessment of "The Seven Levels of Fantasy":

The Seven Levels of Fantasy

Hope you also enjoy!! :)

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Honorably Serve Treated Like Manure

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They are treated like something one would get on the bottom of their boot after walking through the cow lot. This is a return to how power corrupts by those who lead this nation. The only Indian is a dead Indian. All Japanese American citizens were moved to internment camps, their businesses confiscated. Or how those of color were infected with syphilis used in god awful experiments. Maybe we should return to imprison all who are suspected of being transgender to insane asylums.

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2 dreams

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2 dreams for you all:

1st dream, I somehow learned how to fly. What made it weird is nobody else seemed to be all that impressed.

2nd dream, I dreamed I was somehow in a romantic comedy. a man decided to help me meet a girl by switching our glasses. This actually worked, and the girl and I had a nice "meet cute" moment.

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OK, so I’m looking for suggestions………

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One of my daughters-in-law is finally about to make my spouse and I grandparents for the first time this October. We (my spouse and I) are putting a baby shower on for her this Saturday, and have been putting a lot of effort into getting ready over the past several weeks. Tomorrow is a day for some final prep work, including finalizing some of the food, and then hopefully relax until Friday evening.

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Intense

That's a different kind of writers block. I like to write in first person and when I do, my best work comes when I get totally inside the head of my protagonist. On occasion, like right now, what's going on in there is intense. So intense, in fact, that I need to take a step back to allow my emotions to settle.

The current effort is flowing nicely at the moment and the main character has reached a crisis point in how he's handling and reacting to the situation he's found himself in.

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stress, and possible heat stroke

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So the last while I have been running around like crazy for Sharon, as she continues to try to sell her house and buy something cheaper.

But not only have been dealing with the stress of that, it has been hot and humid here a lot lately, and I think I may have given myself issues from the heat as I am really struggling with being "off" in some way I can't quite define.

Its been a long week, and its only Monday, so hugs appreciated.

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I Write Like Stephen King, Apparently. Wat.

Every so often YouTube remembers that I'm a writer and starts throwing random writing advice channels at me. Lately, and annoyingly, it's been people shilling AI writing (a can of worms I am notgoing to open here, but in brief: no, I never use AI, and we'll leave it at that). But this one actually caught my attention. It's a video essay discussing how Stephen King is such a prolific writer, including video clips of the author himself discussing his process, and, shockingly? Me too.

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Looking for a certain movie...

There's a movie, probably a made-for-TV movie, about a bank robber and his teenage son.

The father's modis operandi is to dress his son as a girl and send him into the bank before the robbery.

Then, when he's leaving, he grabs the "girl" as if taking a hostage -- everyone of course is horrified and doesn't try to stop him for fear of his harming the girl.

I'm pretty sure I only saw the first five minutes or so, up to the point where the kid pulls off the wig and protests that he's had enough.

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Microsoft's games.

I am not sure what is going on...I tried to sign on to MS Word to work on a new short story today. I got blocked by "them" and figured that it was time to pay some money. I try to deal only with those online entities where the transaction is easy and seamless. The rest only get CASH.

I may have already shot myself in the foot. They wanted my address, and phone number and kept sending me verification codes until stopped suffering the fools. I may have to make a trip to my bank, only 1-2 miles away to get it sorted.

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Short vacation

Melanie and I are leaving this evening on a short getaway, from Sunday evening to Wednesday afternoon. We won't be far away and we will have our laptops with us.

Tuesday is my birthday, so it seemed like a good time to get away. :) A visit to Disneyland is likely (we have tickets), but my stamina is pretty low lately, so no guarantees. We've planned and budgeted for this trip since January.

Play nice while we're gone. :)

Hugs,
Erin

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The Places I have Been, The Names I Wear, & Loving my Voice

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This is just my story, not some crafted persona, certainly not some clever ruse (I consider myself barely intelligent). Just a reflection on the slow, imperfect journey of growing into the voice I am becoming.

When I first started writing, I felt the real 'me' was boring. Too rushed and too... eager. like a child jumping to show off their 'incredible' project. Everything felt... off. So I reflected and put on a bit of an edge. Jax Voss was the name I gave her.

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New blood and posting mutiple chapters

It seems to me, of late we've acquired several new authors. At least there's a number of authors whose names I'm not familiar with posting stories. Some of them are quite prolific. Unfortunately, for me, only one of them consistently posts stories that scratch my itch. :o(

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Posting a rewrite of Wildcat Fall

Dear Readers,

When I took a break from writing Wildcat Fall, I ended up rewriting the story from the beginning. It's working better. But I was confused about how to reintroduce a story from the start.

So, I reinserted the newest version in place of the older one.

I know that sounds complicated, but it would be helpful to start again from the beginning.

Leslie

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666

Ok, full disclosure: I have nothing to do with the beast or the number thereof. I just used it to get your attention.

However, some of you might have noticed that I have an obsess... eh fondness for numbers. I blame that on nature and nurture (accountant father, mother who made a career out of statistics, engineering school and so on (I don't include dabbling in the black art of Business administration since most people in that field can't count)).

Get to the point?

Oh all right. Today two significant milestones regarding my stories were passed.

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tough day today

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kind of a tough day today.

Started with a dream where I was at some event I wasn't supposed to be at, and when caught I began to cry for mercy and was in total fear.

Then I went for a hearing test, and I will be needing hearing aids.

Then I gave Sharon and Sam a ride, and while out Sharon made a big deal of the fact I was in a skirt.

So I am accepting all hugs today.

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Open Arms Chapter 5: Wheel in the Sky

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I am working on the next chapter of “Open Arms” and I’m going to mix it up a bit with this version’s storyline about the Joels, in order to set in motion the reasons they are intertwined with the Robison family,
Here is a painting of Damion Joel that Greg sees hanging on the wall in the Joel’s living room.

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More "Angel of..."

Something from the revised version of the first "Angel of..." story which becomes pertinent in the one I'm working on:

She chopped a few carrots, then thought of something. Melody caught Aaron's eye.

"Which brings up something I've asked about before, but not actually asked _you_ about. How do you - you, personally, and those you work with - manage to get so much done? I mean, even with superhuman intelligence, physical acts still take a finite amount of time. Arielle said something about you being able to boost your speed, but I don't..."

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Superheroes <<Language warning>>

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This was posted on X. I just think it's nice that someone is taking positively about us.

Actor Alan Cumming guest-hosted Jimmy Kimmel's show and declared "trans people" are superheroes, launching into a rant that dysphoric men should be allowed to use women's bathrooms and the U.S.A. "treats rapists better than trans people."

"Superhero movies are only pretend, but I happen to believe that there are actual superheroes in real life who walk among us, and these superheroes are called trans people.”

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Wildcat Fall Update

So, this is killing me. I've written almost 40,000 words and twenty chapters of the book and I'm dying to get some feedback. But posting it here didn't go so well.

I've thought of simply sending out a PDF of the rough draft to some readers interested in just reading. No proofing or editing, just a read through for some feedback.

Does that work for anyone?

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Monday

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To every thing (Kern, Kern, Kern),
There is a season (Kern, Kern, Kern)

No pressure, Emma, but . . . who am I kidding? You seem to thrive under pressure.

I’m not alone in looking forward to another chapter if you have one today.

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"I want to go home"

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so I dreamed that I was back and school, and I was doing so poorly I wanted to quit. A teacher tried to tell me to be patient with the place and with myself, but I kept saying "I want to go home".

Now, I'm no expert, but even I can see that this dream is really about life.

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Getting out and about as Leeanna

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A couple of weeks ago, I met up with my angel Mike. I have blogged before about him. We meet up several times every year. He encourages me to express my "Leeanna" side. When I first met up with him I was petrified going for a walk along a quite seafront at night. Each meeting now I cross another boundary.

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POST REMOVED. :(

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I should have gotten used to this by now...I follow a female adventure motorbike rider with 2.5 million followers who now has a brand new book out, two versions, one in Dutch and one in English. (FREE RIDE) She has been signing books all over the UK, and has plans to eventually go to America, before or after Japan and who knows where else. Don't know if the book will be translated to more languages.

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Missing person?

Has anyone heard anything from Shiraz? She did post a few times about NHS (I think) troubles and health issues, but that was almost two years ago now and I can not recall anything more.

Ok, I admit, I’m also having Tammyverse withdrawals. (Odd symptoms; shakes, needing to use the ‘loo’ at odd times and a craving for haggis. (Even though I’m in Canada) I am still on the edge of - SOMETHING - waiting to find out what happened to Burgess.

with love,

HER

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My muse is at it again.

I'm determined to finish some of the stories in my bone pile. To that end, I've been working on one that I call "Extra Credit" about a young man will graduate middle school in June. The hang up is he's not been doing his homework and his social studies teacher counts homework and 50% of the grade. He gets A's and B's on his tests, but his fall term for the class is a D. His mother wants to enroll him in a top tier prep school. But with that grade pulling his GPA down he'll never be accepted.

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dreaming of moral choices

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so last night I dreamed I was walking down a wooded trail, when I came across a choice of paths. Somehow, I could sense that it was a moral choice - one path was full of darkness, the other light.

This happened twice in the dream, and I am pleased to report that in both cases, I took the path toward the light.

Make of that what you will.

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UPDATE: Buying a 1998 Ford Explorer

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Just wanted to update anyone who was wondering, friends/family came together to find me an opportunity to purchase a well maintained older, 1998 Ford Explorer.

Since it’s 1998 I won’t need to worry about getting inspection :). I’ve been told it has some roof leaks but friends are saying they have plans to fix that for us so thankfully I should be able to travel to the datacenter as early as Wednesday as I am going to pickup the explorer tomorrow.

Thank you everyone that helped with this, I appreciate you all so much.

-Kirstyn

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I had the wildest dream last night

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Not the most descriptive title, I know, but I couldn't think of any other way to put it other than freakin' wild. I've never had a dream, or technically a set of dreams, stay on point to tell a continuous story like that in my life, and, bear in mind I have ADHD so I'm used to "weird" dreams that are unhinged. This one was actually somewhat down to earth which is what made it stand out. It almost felt like a past memory more than a dream, except for specific elements that I remember, that definitely point to it being a dream and not something more supernatural/paranormal.

Basically, I lived the life of a gay teenage girl, but with a heck of a plot twist at the end.

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Heatwave!

Yes i know some of you get higher temperatures but for this little island sitting above 50 degrees latitude, that's north of the major Canadian cities and all the USA except Alaska, doesn't often get temperatures into the 30's C.

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Erasing Transgender From History

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At Stonewall National Monument, the National Park Service removed the transgender and Progress Pride flags, instructing that only the traditional rainbow flag would be displayed. This action has been met with resistance, with New Yorkers bringing their own transgender flags to the site and draping them on statues and other areas. The Park Service also removed references to transgender and queer people from the monument's website

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hah_7lyOv88

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On Monday the 14th of July.

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It will be an anniversary of my transition, 39 years ago - told you I was old. I'll be dragging myself up to the hospital for a diabetic eye test so won't be celebrating, not that the cats are very much partygoing types, they don't even drink milk prefering water from the toilet pan although I give them clean every morning. Since that day, I don't know how many posts I've made here, more than anyone else by quite a margin. I've been reading some of the back issues of Bike that Sephie posted and continued on.

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So readers what next?

So readers what one of my characters to write next?

Vantier
Meagan's tail the mermaid
The Drow twins Shadowsblades
in high school
or as adults?
or the adult twins VS the CIA?
Warriors way-The Amazon with the greek armor

I am kind of lost and lacking feed back on what you all might like?

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I'm F*@&#D!

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So recently, I had two "new" to us servers deliverred to the datacenter. They weren't directly for the BigCloset Cluster but by moving things around and giving me room to do some maintenance, they will improve performance at BCTS.

The problem is, that our car (My 2005 Ford Escape) died at the end of last month, and a friend gave us a 2013 Sonata that had been sitting for a while. The Sonata needed 2300 in repairs that they helped us with and we are paying back, but on my way to the datacenter today it died.

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some updates

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I wanted to pass on a few updates:

My brother is doing better thanks to the pacemaker, but is still having breathing issues that we don't know the cause of.

My ex is taking her near-death experience seriously, and has started to look for a cheaper place that Sam could have going forward, but she is showing signs of a deep paranoia that is quite worrisome.

As for me, I've been trying to do a deep dive into understanding my manic phase, but I still got a lot of work to do.

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Writing Challenge from Erin in 2008

Greetings Top Shelf Writers and Readers,

I wanted to bring back from way back in the Big Closet a writing challenge that Erin made way back in 2008:

"What might happen to such a person {'a troll'} who ran a foul of some of the mythical beings who lurk in the back of the BigCloset? :)" ~ Erin Halfelven

I take joy in being a part of this website as it has served transgender readers and writers. I answered the challenge back in 2008 with my story From Troll to Triumph . I would love to see what can be done in 2025 with this classic prompt from Erin.

Talk among yourselves.
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.
.
.
That's enough.

Now go forth and write!

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Need help with the finer points in MS Word

Somehow I've got an autocorrect thing going on that I don't want.

When I type -- 'll, it autocorrects to -- 'all.

I've gone to the options selection; selected proofing and the autocorrect options. Scrolling through the list presented I can't find it to delete it.

Anyone have any ideas on how I can get rid of this?

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One day vacation

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Heads Up!

Melanie and I are going to be staying in a motel tonight, and we may have to do it again in a few days or a week. I no longer feel safe trying to use our shower; we've got someone coming Friday to take a look at installing a more accessible bath.

So, I'm going to take a one-day vacation from the site. I'll have my laptop with me, but may not turn it on, who knows. Piper will be watching for problems, and we should all be fine.

Play nice.

Hugs,
Erin

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An apology is in order

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Well, I owe everybody an apology.

Well, actually a couple of apologies.

The first is for inflicting on you all another chapter of Luck be a Lady, starring Fluke.

The second, for anybody who likes this stuff, for how short the chapter is.

The reason is due to a pun at the end of the chapter, which I am also apologizing for ...

Here is the link, just in case I haven't scared you off:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/107314/lucky-one-luck...

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“Go wake up Donna”

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“Go wake up Donna,” I told the Turbo Toddler. “Dad, too,” I added.
“Ogay!” she agreed and sped off toward the bedrooms, squealing about ‘hopgakes!’
"That’ll keep her busy for a few,” I told Mom.
“But not quiet,” she mentioned as we could hear the uproar down the hallway.

Thanks, Erin, for giving me so many laughs by letting this bundle of energy appearing in your story!

Martina

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Astrid Jorgensen

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This may be old hat to some of you but I just "discovered" Astrid Jorgensen who created a phenomenon called Pub Choir. Here are a couple of clips to introduce the performances that she organizes:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNO-OSztM5s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtM-5lhZ-yo

She also auditioned on America's Got Talent which YouTube will lead you to.

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Opening Doors

That, folks, was the end of 'Closing Doors', as the last sentence carries a huge amount of freight for those who know the full extent of Mike's story. I feel it wraps up the story arc neatly, and didn't want to over-egg things. As I explained in a comment, it is the reason I chose Diane as the narrative voice, so as to bring neutrality to events that will have left Mike incoherent.

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Kern - A little help for patient readers!

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Hi everyone! For you hardy souls following the Kern saga, I know the story gets pretty involved, and there are a fair number of characters, both major and minor. What with the story being posted over the course of half a year, I imagine it’s easy to forget who’s who and how they are related. So I thought at this point it might help to post my notes on Carmen’s family tree as of the summer of 2024, when the story takes place.

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I am sure most of you know by now

... that I am running Angharad's EAFOAB for her until she can recover. Maybe something will spark some divine interest in her to recover her ability to write it. It will take a love within herself, a love for her characters, and a desire for action packed drama again :) If I get past the current serial arc from episode 1240 through 1255, Ill insert more action packed serials.

I am trying at least while I am waiting.

Sephrena

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My biggest problem with stories posted as serials

It used to be that a good story was posted a chapter or two at a time and I got sucked into the story and invested in the characters; then without warning, the story was abandoned. That doesn't bother me so much any more. There seems to be very few of them that have had that happen.

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An Unsung Heroine

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There was a blog about Angela Morley here yesterday but it disappeared before I could comment. Andrea DiMaggio highlighted the life of an early (modern) TG woman, who started life as Wally Stott and transitioned in her late forties, about in the early 70s, IIRC.

She was well known in the British musical world before and became even more well-known in the USA following her transition. I just wanted to add how courageous she must have been to continue in her career in the spotlight, as it were, after changing her gender.

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New Chapter of Another Country on Patreon

Bobby goes out to dinner with the family accidentally wearing the same thing their sy=ister-in-law is wearing

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"It's not like we did it on purpose," Bobby responds when his big brother teases him about how hard it is to tell them apart.

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